Draco and Astoria's Story
by slytherin05
Summary: The story of how Draco and Astoria followed their hearts and chose to be together. Based on their canon love story from the Cursed Child. WARNING: contains spoilers. Rated M for themes and language.
1. Chapter 1

The Laingdon Palace Hotel was a popular venue for wizarding parties, particularly amongst purebloods. It was a Friday night and Blaise Zabini's birthday party was in full swing; the music was loud and the drink was being poured thick and fast.

Draco Malfoy was propped up at the bar. Alone. Although he wouldn't particularly consider Blaise a good friend - there was a time when they'd have been considered rivals above anything else - Draco did occasionally allow Blaise to convince him to attend social gatherings such as these. He sat and observed the other guests as they chatted to each other freely and danced on the nearby dance floor.

The Battle of Hogwarts took place almost six years ago and Draco was yet to live down the events which took place in his teenage years. Many of the acquaintances he'd made at school treated him warily. Most people didn't know what to make of him, and sometimes he barely knew what to make of himself. Although his life had improved since his sixth and final year at school and the horrors that proceeded it, this wasn't without the help of medication - he took sleeping draughts regularly just to see him through the night, not to mention his anti-anxiety potion.

He'd gone through a phase of heavy drinking and partying not long after the war. Draco had loved nothing more than heading to a club or a private party with people he'd once considered friends. Drink fuelled his confidence, and he'd often ended up with the prettiest witch he could find. In the last couple of years, however, he'd started attending events less often, in an attempt to distance himself from the company he used to keep.

Draco rarely trusted girls enough to take them home with him. With his antics splashed across the pages of the Daily Prophet almost weekly, he came to realise that witches were going with him for one reason only: his notoriety. He tried not to care, but it hurt.

Draco sat staring into his glass of fire whiskey and recalled the last time he'd left a party with company. It was well over a year ago now, and it had ended disastrously. The morning after, he'd made sure the girl had left early before making his way to the dining room - he'd found his mother waiting there with a glass of juice already poured for him. He'd slumped down into a chair before his mother announced that his 'promiscuity would do him no favours when the time came to find a respectable wife.'

He'd stared at his mother across the table, but before he'd had time to lie about what he'd been up to the previous night, she threw a copy of the morning paper across the table at him. He was faced with photographic evidence of him leaving the party with the girl he'd just told to leave, looking a little worse for wear.

"For Merlin's sake…" he'd muttered under his breath. "They twist everyth-"

"Save the excuses, Draco," his mother had cut across him. She'd risen from the table and made her way towards the door. "When are you going to learn that sound travels?"

Draco had flushed red, realising with horror that he hadn't cast a silencing charm the night before. And that was the last time he'd ever brought a witch back to the Manor.

Trying to shake this mortifying memory, he looked up from his glass. He wasn't alone at the bar any longer; a pretty, brunette girl was stood a few feet away ordering a drink. Draco thought he recognised her, but struggled to recall where from. As the bartender mixed the girl's drink, she glanced in Draco's direction, catching his eye. She smiled. Draco's mouth twitched in an attempt to return the gesture and she turned away again. He finished his drink, and gazed back towards the dance floor where he could spot many a familiar face, but no-one he particularly wished to socialise with.

Turning back towards the bar, he was surprised to see the brunette girl walking in his direction with her drink and a firewhiskey.

"I got you a drink," she said as she reached him, placing it on the bar in front of him.

There was a brief moment where Draco allowed his confusion to twist his face into a frown, looking from the girl to the drink.

"It's ok," the girl laughed. "I didn't slip you a love potion or anything."

"Thanks," he said uncertainly, looking back towards the girl trying desperately to place her. It was useless. "Sorry, but do I know you?"

The girl raised an eyebrow but couldn't help smiling in amusement. Had she actually expected Draco Malfoy to recognise her?

"You were in classes with my sister at Hogwarts."

Involuntarily, Draco's eyes narrowed out of suspicion. Was she another witch out for a steamy one night stand with an ex-Death Eater? She certainly knew who he was. Then again, who didn't.

"I'm Astoria -"

"Greengrass," Draco interrupted her. She raised her eyebrows in surprise - so he did know her, or at least know _of_ her. "Daphne's sister." He felt a weird sense of triumph at being able to identify someone a year or two his junior.

"For my sins," Astoria jested. Feeling himself relax slightly, Draco smirked in amusement. "Can I join you?" she asked him.

"Sure." He watched as Astoria pulled up a stool and perched herself upon it, crossing her legs delicately and reaching round to pull her loose curls over one shoulder, before twisting a strand of hair around her finger repeatedly. She took a sip from her drink, turning to face Draco.

"I used to see you out a lot," she told him. "Not so much lately…"

"Let's just say I got bored of being the Daily Prophet's gossip page bait."

Astoria laughed. He knew straight away that she'd seen the stories. Draco's eyes flickered back and forth between hers. He was trying to fathom what Astoria wanted. Was she just being friendly, or was she after something more? Perhaps Daphne had sent her over to get some gossip - she'd always been a nosy cow. Despite his suspicions, Draco stayed chatting with Astoria. There was something about her that drew him in in a way he couldn't quite explain.

* * *

A couple of hours and many drinks later, Draco and Astoria were still sat together up at the bar. Her friends had dragged her away to dance once or twice but she'd always returned to him. He made her laugh. After her third trip to the dance floor, she tottered back over to Draco and refused to sit down.

"Come and dance!" she said in his ear, trying to grab his hand. He found himself face to face with her, noticing a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"No. No. I don't dance!" he raised his voice over the music, pulling his hand out of her grip.

Astoria stared at him defiantly, and he held her gaze, daring her to pursue the matter any further. "I know you dance because I've seen you with other girls. You do realise that almost every witch in here knows you're partial to a bit of bump and grind?" she teased him.

Draco gave a short laugh, shaking his head. She was right - he always used to dance with girls at parties and it almost always got fairly heated on the dance floor, but it had been a while. Astoria took hold of his hand again, persistently. "Come on! I love to dance!" she shouted, giggling. "Dance with me!"

Reluctantly Draco got up off of his barstool and rolled his eyes, but he was smiling nonetheless, wondering why Astoria had become so attached to him so quickly. For a split second he lost balance, grabbing hold of the bar. He was more drunk than he'd realised. Astoria didn't seem to notice. She was too busy lacing her fingers through his and she pulled him in the direction of the dance floor and started squeezing her way through to the very centre.

Blaise caught sight of Draco and slapped him on the shoulder. Draco turned and Blaise shot him an inquisitive look, nodding his head towards Astoria.

Draco shrugged. "Don't ask me!" he yelled over the music before disappearing further into the crowd.

Finally, Astoria seemed to settle on a spot she was happy with, just as a sexy rhythm and blues song came on. She turned to face Draco, who felt a little awkward to begin with as they swayed to the music with almost a foot between their bodies but their fingers still intertwined. It really had been a while. Slowly, Astoria got closer and closer to him until her arms wound their way around his neck. She began to grind her body against him and Draco found his hands moving to her waist, inching their way to her hips.

He felt as though his heart was in his mouth, his mind going into overdrive. Where was this night going to lead? He hadn't planned on picking a girl up - Merlin, he hadn't even planned on coming to the party. He couldn't help but wonder whether they were going to end up between the sheets.

He felt Astoria's hands exploring, making their way down his back. He started to relax, responding to her dance moves. He was moving to the music as she rubbed herself against him and it reminded him of the partying days he'd left behind, only Astoria was more intriguing than any of the others.

Astoria couldn't take her eyes off of him. She knew about him but she didn't seem to care. She was far too tipsy and he was far too enticing with those mysterious, grey eyes.

Draco became conscious of Astoria watching him. His eyes had been roaming all over her body as she danced on him. He slid his hands around to her backside and before he knew it she was kissing him passionately. There was nothing he could do, nothing he wanted to do, but kiss her back. He felt her tongue graze against his and it only made him hungry for more.

Astoria broke the kiss and looked him right in the eyes, his forehead resting against hers. Draco smirked at her, a hard look in his eyes, before the song changed. Astoria turned her back on him and started dancing on him again. His fingers moved lightly down her ribcage before finding her hips again. He leaned down, kissing her neck as his hands continued to explore. Just as he slipped a hand under the hem of her dress he stopped himself going any further. She tilted her head back, wanting to speak to him. Draco leaned in closer.

"Do you want to go back to mine?" she asked. Draco wasn't too surprised by this proposition after the dance moves she'd been pulling.

"I have a room booked upstairs," he said in her ear. His last night out had ended with him being slapped with a three-month apparition ban. He didn't care to repeat the same mistake.

Before Draco even knew what was happening, Astoria was leading him off of the dance floor towards the exit. A short distance away, Daphne stood with Blaise trying to understand what he was saying over the music.

"What?!" she yelled.

"Your sister! And Draco!" Blaise shouted back.

"Malfoy?! Are you kidding me?!" Daphne's eyes widened with a mix of surprise and horror, scanning the room, but she was too late to see Draco and Astoria slipping out of the door and heading towards the staircase.

Upstairs, Draco hurried Astoria into his hotel room and closed the door behind them. Astoria launched herself at him, kissing him with the same passion she had on the dance floor. Draco pressed her eagerly against the wall, before lifting her of her feet, her legs wrapping around his waist.

"Astoria," he said breathlessly between kisses. "Astoria."

She looked at him inquisitively with her beautiful brown eyes. "Are you sure you want to..?"

Astoria put her feet back down on the floor and pushed Draco towards the bed. Did he really need her to answer that? She tugged at his shirt, popping open some of the buttons, hoping he would take the hint.

Burning with desire, Draco didn't push her for an answer. He didn't need to, after all. He pulled her dress over her head and tossed it to the side, pulling her down on top of him. She ripped off his shirt completely, revealing the faint scars on his chest - his reminder of everything he'd been through. Somehow, he knew she wouldn't ask. She made quick work of his trousers, too, and it wasn't long before they were at it - they couldn't keep their hands or their eyes off of each other. It was only in the moment that Draco realised how much he'd missed being intimate with someone. Somehow, this felt different to the others.

Throughout the night, Astoria lost count of the amount of times Draco brought her to climax. It wasn't much before four in the morning when they both collapsed onto the bed, completely exhausted. She could hardly believe what had just happened. It was certainly an experience.

"I hope you won't regret that," Draco said suddenly into the darkness, breathing heavily.

"Of all the things there are to regret in my life, that's certainly not one of them," Astoria reassured him.

The night of February 18th 2004 was just the beginning of Draco and Astoria's story.


	2. Chapter 2

It was only a matter of weeks before Draco started viewing life a little more positively. The more time he spent with Astoria the more he realised that she was everything he needed. Her personality couldn't have been further away from his own. She was happy and bubbly; her laugh was infectious and Draco quickly learned that Astoria wore her heart on her sleeve. He didn't doubt for a second that he liked her. A lot. However, trust didn't come so naturally to Draco, so he remained quite placid, preferring to keep him emotions to himself.

After their first night together, Draco had coolly suggested that the pair of them meet again at some point in the near future.

"I want to get to know you though," he'd said in a serious tone. "I don't just want to get you drunk and take you to bed."

Astoria had been pleased. Although she knew snippets of Draco's past, she was certain that there was more to him than meets the eye.

They agreed to keep things to themselves. Little did they know that Daphne had already caught wind of their dash for the door the night before. Astoria arrived home to find her sister sat waiting for her in the lounge, painting her perfectly shaped nails.

"Where were you last night?" she shot at Astoria before she even had chance to put her bag down.

"With friends, not that it's any of your business." Astoria was almost twenty-two yet Daphne still treated her like a child.

"That's funny, because I heard you were sleeping with Draco Malfoy."

Daphne caught Astoria off guard; she opened her mouth to protest, to plead her innocence, but there was no chance Daphne would believe her. She must have seen them sneaking off together. Astoria sighed heavily.

"Daphne, don't do this. I'm allowed to have fun every once in a while. It's been ages since I've been with anyone - a witch has needs. Get over it."

"Why him?!" Daphne raised her voice. "Why head off to a party full of eligible, pureblood bachelors and climb into bed with the biggest asshole you could find?!"

Astoria rolled her eyes and made for the stairs. She was tired of everyone treating her like a delicate flower; everyone that knew about her illness anyway. She'd give anything to just be normal. Sure, there were days when she was glad Daphne was around to look out for her, but today clearly wasn't going to be one of those days.

Ignoring her sister's branding Draco 'the biggest asshole she could find', Astoria began meeting up with him regularly. There were so many things she liked about him: he was thoughtful, he was surprisingly gentle, and he made her laugh with his dry sense of humour and amazingly accurate impersonations of other people. They met up four times before they ended up sleeping together again, and Astoria realised that Draco wasn't just out for what he could get.

In no time at all, whatever there was between Draco and Astoria turned into something that they both considered a relationship.

Unfortunately, it hadn't taken Daphne long to tell her parents exactly where Astoria had been sneaking out to so frequently and, more importantly, who she was sneaking out to meet.

One night, Astoria returned home to be faced by a smug looking Daphne and two unhappy parents.

"Draco Malfoy?" were the first words to escape her mother's lips.

Astoria felt her anger burn up inside as her face flushed red. No-one ever questioned Daphne's personal life; why was Astoria the one to be affected by the ancient family curse and face being wrapped in cotton wool her whole life?

"What about him?" Astoria replied with attitude in her tone that made her feel like a sulky teenager again.

"Are you dating him?" her father asked sternly.

"Yes," Astoria replied without hesitation. "Yes, I am dating Draco Malfoy, that guy that everyone loves to hate. And guess what? He makes me happy. He looks me in the eye and he makes me laugh and he treats me like I'm normal, unlike anyone in this family!" Her voice had risen.

"He treats you like you're normal because he doesn't know any different, Astoria," Daphne retorted.

Astoria felt tears brimming in her eyes. Like she was ever expecting Daphne to understand…

"Well I like him," Astoria said defiantly. "I think he's a good person and maybe one day we'll be close enough for me to tell him everything."

Daphne snorted with laughter despite noticing her younger sister was on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry, Astoria, but you don't know Malfoy like I do. If you tell him everything he will run for the hills."

Astoria wiped at her eyes furiously with her sleeve. She didn't deserve any of this.

"Alright, Daphne, that's enough," her mother said with a reproachful glance at the older of the two sisters. "You can see she's getting upset - I don't think telling her that her… _boyfriend_ would run for the hills if he knew about her illness is the right way to handle the situation."

Astoria's mum made her way over to her and attempted to hug her but Astoria resisted, turning her face away in an attempt to hide her tears.

Daphne seemed to feel some sense of remorse all of a sudden. "Astoria, I'm sorry," her voice was softer than it had been twenty seconds earlier. "I didn't mean to say that. I'm just worried for you. The thought of you with him… you're just too good for him."

Astoria looked at her sister with a heavy heart and sadness in her eyes. "I really like him, Daphne. I want to see where things lead with him, whether you like it or not."

"Fine," Daphne said, raising her eyebrows and shrugging. "On your head be it. Just be careful."

* * *

Over the two months that followed the argument, Astoria brought Draco back to her parents' house twice, despite his protests. Both occasions were brief but the atmosphere was icy to say the least - Astoria's family hadn't made any effort to make Draco feel at ease in their home, and he'd made no attempt to change their opinion of him whatsoever.

Although Astoria had felt disappointed by Draco's lack of ability to make pleasant conversation with her parents and her sister, she tried to see things from his perspective; it must be hard going through life knowing that people who don't even know you despise you.

As Draco awkwardly bade goodnight to Astoria's family on the second occasion he visited their home, he knew he wasn't doing himself - or Astoria - any favours. He knew he should have at least tried to make small talk, but the petulant child that still lurked within him had forbidden him from doing so. They were silently judging him for the entire sixteen minutes he'd been in their company (yes, he'd counted), and Draco was too tired to try and change their minds.

It wasn't until the afternoon of July 24th that Draco turned up at the Greengrass residence uninvited. He'd been due to meet Astoria for lunch in Diagon Alley and had grown concerned when she hadn't turned up, or even managed to get in contact with him.

Draco apparated with precision, arriving on their front doorstep, before rapping the brass knocker on the heavy wooden door four times. It was Daphne who answered the door, her dyed, dark red hair pulled up into a messy bun and casual clothing hugging at her curves. She seemed surprised to see him.

"Is Astoria home?" Draco asked, not even bothering to say hello.

Daphne considered him for a moment, shifting in case she needed to prevent him from entering the house. Astoria was upstairs in her room and in no fit state for visitors.

"We were meant to have lunch together," Draco pressed on. "She didn't show up. Is she home?"

"She is home," Daphne said, slowly. "But she doesn't want to see anyone today."

Draco stopped listening at 'she is home'. He pushed past Daphne, knocking his shoulder against hers as he crossed the threshold.

"Hey!" Daphne yelled, closing the front door and striding after Draco. "I told you she doesn't want to see anyone today!"

Draco turned to glare at Daphne before making his way upstairs in the direction of Astoria's bedroom. He wanted to see Astoria and Daphne certainly wasn't going to stop him. He knocked gently on Astoria's bedroom door, letting himself into the room before she had time to respond. The first thing he noticed was Astoria lying in bed. And then the array of different potions at her bedside. And then the heart rate monitor attached to her wrist.

"Draco!" Astoria gasped weakly. Holy Salazar, she hadn't wanted him to find out like this. And Merlin, she looked like shit. She eased herself up slowly, resting back on her mountain of pillows. She noticed the look of alarm in Draco's eyes.

"- here!" came Daphne's voice from the hallway. "You can't just barge in here like you own the place! How dare you shove me!" She appeared in the doorway, hovering behind Draco. "Astoria, I tried to stop him, I promise! He just pushed right past me, the rude little shit!"

Draco and Astoria didn't take their eyes off each other as Daphne ranted, both looking bewildered.

"Daph, it's fine," Astoria half whispered. "Can you just leave us alone for a minute?"

Daphne scowled at the back of Draco's head before flouncing off without arguing. Draco closed the door slowly behind himself, at a complete loss as to what was going on. He made his way uncertainly towards Astoria's bedside.

"You're sick?" he asked with uncertainty in his voice, even though he'd just stated the most obvious fact.

Astoria managed a small smile. She nodded at the chair beside her bed and Draco sat down obediently. "Draco, I - I didn't want you to find out like this…"

Draco's eyes flickered across Astoria's face. She could already see deep concern creeping into his facial features. "Find out what?"

Astoria hesitated, trying to find the right words. Her breathing quickened and she became uncomfortably aware of her chest rising and falling. She started to cough and Draco grabbed a glass from her bedside table, filling it with water without even needing to use his wand, or a verbal spell. He passed her the glass and she sipped it carefully. Once her coughing fit had died down, her breathing slowed to normal.

"Astoria, please. You're scaring me now." He stared at her intensely and, despite her feelings of guilt, she managed to maintain eye contact.

"Okay, I don't want you to freak out." Easier said than done, she thought. "A long time ago, someone put a... a curse on my family. It made some of my relatives incredibly sick and... well... I inherited it. The curse. The illness. And sometimes it makes me feel ridiculously tired and… well, it makes me feel like shit, to be honest" she said frankly.

Draco didn't speak. He was too busy trying to digest what Astoria was telling him.

"Most days I'm completely fine and I just get on with life like any other person. But some days I wake up feeling horrible," Astoria said matter of factly. "It'd been decades since the curse had affected anyone but I started showing symptoms when I was thirteen. My condition is under control. I know it doesn't seem like it right now but it is, Draco, I swear to you. Today just happened to be a bad day…"

Draco remained quiet for a moment, trying to get his head around what Astoria was telling him. He rubbed his temples with his thumbs and closed his eyes for a moment. He wasn't great at dealing with bad news; there were so many questions going around in his head already. Why had someone cursed her family? How bad was it, exactly? Was she playing it down so he wouldn't worry? How often were these so-called bad days? Was she going to die?

He tried not to panic because he knew it wouldn't make her feel any better.

The silence hung in the air as Astoria waited for him to say something. Eventually he spoke.

"Why am I only finding this out now?" His voice sounded colder than he'd meant it to.

Astoria felt her heart starting to beat harder against her ribcage. She hoped so hard that this conversation wasn't going to end the way Daphne had warned her it would.

"I - I was going to tell you, I promise. I was just scared of how you'd react." She could already feel herself fighting back tears. "Draco, the last five months I've spent with you have been amazing. They've been so great. Unfortunately, every once in a while I have to have a bad day. Before today, I hadn't had a bad day in almost a year. That's why I never mentioned anything to you. I guess I was stupid enough to think I could shake this off. But I can't."

Her voice cracked as she fought back the urge to cry. Draco leaned forward slowly and took her hand gently, his thumb drawing soft circles against her knuckles. His touch was soothing. Astoria felt as though Draco made all of her pain go away.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Draco asked, a hint of desperation in his voice. "All those months we've spent together and you didn't think to mention that one day I might drop by and find you completely exhausted with enough potions at your bedside to knock out a Horntail?"

"I guess you're not the only one with trust issues..." Astoria ventured, looking away from him.

Draco's eyes narrowed. He knew that Astoria was referring to the fact that he still hadn't got around to revealing anything about his past. By now, she saw his scars almost daily and she'd had the decency to never ask. Draco suddenly realised that didn't necessarily mean that she didn't want to know. He sighed.

"I'm sorry, Astoria, but that's entirely different. Your illness doesn't make you a bad person."

"And your past doesn't make _you_ a bad person," Astoria retorted without hesitation, turning back to face him.

Draco exhaled noisily. He wasn't going to go into this with her, not now. He stayed silent for a few minutes.

"Look, can we just concentrate on the matter in hand?" he said, seriously. Astoria nodded silently before he continued. "Can the curse be reversed? Can this illness be cured?"

Astoria shook her head slowly, not taking her eyes off of Draco's face. She needed to gage how he was really feeling about her news. She didn't want a glossed-over, 'I'm Draco Malfoy, I don't show emotions' kind of reaction. She wanted to understand him completely. She wanted all of him. Unfortunately, his face remained fairly expressionless. He rose from the chair suddenly and started pacing back and forth between her bedside and the window. After almost five minutes he sat back down at Astoria's side, perched on the edge of the chair, and took her hand in his.

"Astoria, we can sort this," he said sincerely, looking her right in the eye. "I have access to more money than you could even imagine. If there isn't a cure, I'll pay someone to find one. As much as it takes. Merlin, I'll even find one myself. I'll do research, we have a library full of books in the Manor. _I_ can fix this."

Astoria shook her head sadly. He was in the denial phase - she'd been there herself. "Draco, money can't fix this. There's nothing they can do for me but keep my symptoms under control ninety per cent of the time."

"They're not me. You've only just come into my life and I already can't bear to see you in such pain," Draco said softly. He moved to sit on the edge of her bed, cupping the side of her face with his hand gently. He stared at her through his grey eyes and the connection she felt with him was overwhelming. He wasn't running away. He was staying. He cared. A single tear slid slowly down Astoria's cheek.

Draco brushed her tear away softly with his thumb and pushed some loose stands of hair away from her face. Her temperature was high. She needed to rest.

"You're so beautiful," Draco told her, and he'd never meant anything so much in his entire life. Astoria smiled and looked down shyly, brushing her lips lightly against his fingers.

"I look awful," she whispered. He shook his head in response. His hand found its way to the back of her neck and he pulled her towards him gently. She buried her face in his chest as he caressed the back of her neck soothingly. After several minutes they broke apart and Astoria lay back against her pillows.

"I'm going to go," Draco said. "I think you need some rest." He stood up and stretched before bending down and placing a kiss on top of Astoria's head. "If you need anything, just get hold of me, ok? And I still owe you that lunch date."

"I'm so sorry I left you waiting there," Astoria said quietly.

Draco could see that she was feeling weak; he waved his hand dismissively. "It really doesn't matter," he reassured her. "Another time. As soon as you're feeling better."

Astoria nodded and smiled.

"I would stay, you know," Draco said as he made his way over to the bedroom door. "But somehow I don't think your family would appreciate it, Daphne in particular. Oh, and if she says one thing about me running away from this, you tell her from me that she's wrong. This changes nothing." He turned back to face her as he opened the door. "Also, I was serious about the research. When you're feeling better I'm going to ask you some questions to help me get started and I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Thank you," Astoria whispered, despite knowing his research would be in vain. She was smiling nonetheless - the fact that he cared so deeply made her feel elated.

"Goodbye, Astoria," Draco said, making to leave. "Oh, and Astoria… I will tell you everything. When I think you're ready to hear it. I trust you."

July 24th 2004 was the first time Draco had ever told someone he trusted them. Although it was a big step, he knew he'd soon have to prove it to Astoria and to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as Astoria woke the following morning, memories of the day before came flooding back. Although she wasn't suffering any of the symptoms that occurred during her relapse, her conscience was squirming over the fact that Draco had found out about her illness the way he did. He'd seemed fearful and genuinely hurt that she'd chosen to keep it from him for as long as she did.

Astoria slowly got out of bed and made her way over to the window, staring out across the fields to the rear of her house; it was a beautiful day outside. She rearranged the cushions on her window seat and sat down, hugging her knees to her chest. Lost in thought, Astoria was brought back to her senses by a knock on her bedroom door. It opened slightly and she spotted her sister through the chink.

"Can I come in?" Daphne asked.

"Yes," Astoria replied, turning back to stare out of the window.

Daphne crossed the room and sat herself down on Astoria's bed, crossing her legs. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Astoria said. "It's passed. I just feel really awful about Draco. It wasn't fair that he found out that way."

"Found out? You told him the truth?" Her tone indicated that she didn't think Astoria should have told Draco the whole story.

"Of course I did," Astoria said, turning to face her sister. "What should I have said? He saw the heart rate monitor for Merlin's sake. Even if I'd wanted to lie he would have seen straight through it, he's not stupid."

"Astoria, you've known him five minutes. Even your friends don't know the whole truth. Me, mum and dad are the only people… and now him?"

"Yes, now him. Oh, and that reminds me - he wanted you to know that he's not going to run away from me and that my illness changes nothing."

"Oh great, so you told him I said that?"

"I didn't have to. Now. I'm going to talk to you, Daphne, and I want you to listen, ok?"

Daphne pulled a skeptical face but nodded begrudgingly.

"Draco was amazing yesterday. He sat and he listened and he tried his best to understand why I've hidden this from his for the last five months. He was nothing but supportive. He hugged me, he wiped my tears away and he told me I was beautiful even though I looked like hippogriff shit. Now I know you don't like him, but please can you just give him one chance. I'm not asking you to treat him like the big brother you never had -"

"Little brother. He's younger than me," Daphne interrupted.

"Whatever. Just please try to be civil to him, for my sake, not for his. It would make my life a lot easier if you two could avoid sniping at each other whenever you meet."

"I'll try," Daphne offered. "But I don't trust him, Astoria, and it's going to take a lot for me to change my mind. I'm not trying to be difficult, I just care about you too much. I'm afraid civil is the very most I can manage when it comes to that man."

* * *

The next day, Astoria and Draco met in Diagon Alley for their lunch date. They occupied an outdoor table and became lost in each other's company. Other than asking how she was feeling, Draco didn't mention Astoria's recent relapse and for that she was grateful. Two hours passed quickly, and Astoria was disappointed when Draco told her he had some affairs he had to get in order.

"Look, my parents are away at the end of the week. Do you want to come over?" Draco asked before they parted.

Astoria looked up at him nervously. She still hadn't met his parents - as of yet, they didn't even know she existed.

"Are you sure they'll be away? When we meet, I'd really rather it wasn't by accident."

"I'm sure," Draco said, sounding confident. "I wouldn't want that to happen either, trust me. Friday night?"

"Ok then," Astoria agreed, smiling. "Do I need to bring anything?"

"Just yourself. How could I need anything else?"

* * *

Come early Friday evening, Draco was feeling incredibly anxious. Less than a week ago he had told Astoria that he trusted her and he'd decided that tonight was the night he was going to prove it to her - and to himself. He hadn't intended on taking such a big step so soon but he now knew her biggest secret and, in turn, he felt he should tell her his. He knew it was going to be hard and he didn't know how she was going to cope with knowing the truth about him. He had everything to lose; he wouldn't blame her if she walked away. But he had to tell her sometime and he'd rather it be in the privacy of his own home with his parents out of the way.

Astoria was due to arrive in half an hour. Draco took a quick shower before heading to his potions cabinet and withdrawing a vial of purple liquid. He popped the cork and downed it in one, wincing at the awful taste and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. After several years on anti-anxiety meds, you'd think he'd be used to it by now but he wasn't. Acknowledging that tonight would likely get quite tense, he allowed himself to do something he wouldn't usually - he drank down a second vial, just to calm his nerves. Several minutes later, bells chimed throughout the Manor - Astoria had arrived.

Draco swept down the stairs and across the main hallway to the entrance hall, taking a deep breath before he opened the door to reveal Astoria clutching a bottle of elf-made wine.

"Hey," she said breathlessly. "I know you said not to bring anything but…" she held up the bottle.

Draco smiled. "Thank you," he said, ushering her through the front door. Draco made his way to the drawing room where he quickly retrieved two wine glasses from a cabinet before returning to find Astoria gazing around in awe, staring up at the ceilings and studying the family portraits on the walls.

"Shall we?" Draco hurriedly guided her up the stairs to his bedroom which was to the far right of the house.

Astoria knew how rich the Malfoys were, but she couldn't believe how grand their house was. It was hard to comprehend that this was the place where Draco grew up. She looked out of the window, catching sight of a water fountain. The thought of five-year-old Draco running around the grounds made her smile.

Draco poured them each a glass of wine and joined Astoria by the window. He handed her a glass and they both raised them with a familiar clinking noise.

"Cheers," they said in unison.

Astoria and Draco got comfortable in the two plush, leather armchairs over in the corner of his bedroom, next to his bookshelf. They were immersed in each other's conversation for almost an hour, only making physical contact occasionally but rarely breaking eye contact. The bottle of wine was now empty.

They ended up in bed together. It was far from the reason Draco had invited Astoria round but he couldn't resist her. She was too beautiful. The sex was different to what they were used to. Not in a bad way - they just took things more slowly. Draco Malfoy certainly knew how to make love. Astoria knew he was being careful but she didn't mind.

Once they were done, Astoria excused herself and went to use the bathroom. Draco's nerves were still getting the better of him. He was going to tell Astoria absolutely everything; things he'd never dreamed he would tell anyone. He got dressed and made his way back over to his potions cabinet. Forgetting that he'd already taken two anti-anxiety potions in his delirium, he drank down a third, his hands shaking slightly. Astoria entered the room just as he was locking the cabinet. He stood and turned to face her abruptly.

"What are you doing?" she asked innocently as she pulled her clothes back on.

"Nothing," Draco said sternly. "Astoria, sit down." He indicated towards the armchairs they'd been sat in earlier.

Astoria frowned. "Ok…" she said, uncertainly. "Is everything alright?"

Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath before following her across the room. She took the chair nearest the window. He didn't respond for a minute or two, sitting down and looking at her as his chin rested on his hand, contemplating whether this was the right thing to do. The events of the next hour or so would determine the strength of their relationship. He'd spent the best part of the day mentally preparing himself for the worst - he figured that he may as well get it over with.

"Back at yours… the day you were sick. You said you weren't the only one with trust issues."

Astoria peered at him through her beautiful eyes. The thought of revealing his appalling life story to her was sending his stress levels through the roof, even after three vials of potion.

"When you said that, I'm guessing you were referring to the fact that I haven't told you… about me?" He chose his words carefully.

She hesitated before she nodded. Shit. Had he decided she was ready to know already? _She_ didn't even know if she was ready. Some of the fragments she knew as, or at least assumed to be, truth were pretty bad. How much worse did it get? He sounded so serious that it almost frightened her. Her mouth suddenly felt very dry. She swallowed hard.

"In that case, I'm going to tell you everything. That way… I just think you should know the full story before we fall too far. I want to be honest with you. You deserve to know."

"Ok," she whispered. He noticed that she looked almost as nervous as he felt.

"So… shit, I don't even know where to begin." He was already crumbling. He covered his eyes with the palms of his hands for a moment, composing himself. "I'm sorry." He shifted in the chair until he could got as close to comfortable as possible. "Ok, where do you want me to start? Do you want to ask me something?"

Astoria chewed on her lip and turned her head to stare out of the window. An open invitation to ask him anything. She knew she had to tread carefully, he was incredibly sensitive.

"How about telling me the worst thing first?" she suggested.

Draco snorted with humourless laughter. "Wow, which thing to choose? Ok…" He took several moments to think. "You've seen the scars on my arm, I take it?" He rolled up his sleeve and held out his left arm. Though the scars were fading by the day, he looked at it with disgust. Astoria nodded. "I took the Dark Mark when I was sixteen. My father had just been thrown in Azkaban - he was caught fighting for Voldemort in the Department of Mysteries. The Death Eaters enlisted me because… I was nothing to them. A nobody. He wanted me to do something, to… _fuck_." His nerves got the better of him.

"Draco, just say it. It's ok. Just tell me everything in the easiest way possible for you." Astoria was encouraging. It helped him to relax slightly.

"He wanted me to kill Dumbledore," Draco admitted. "Or rather, he wanted me to try and kill Dumbledore but get killed at some point along the way."

Draco suddenly got up and retrieved another bottle of wine. Shakily, he poured himself a glass and one for Astoria.

"Draco, you're shaking," she said quietly, reaching out to steady his hand. He lingered for a split second before pulling his hand away.

"I'm fine." He sat back down and raised his glass to his lips, taking three large gulps. "For almost a year I tried desperately to find a way of killing the old man. Katie Bell… Ron Weasley… they almost ended up dead for my mistakes. The girl, I put her under the Imperius Curse and tried to get her to deliver him a cursed necklace. Weasley ended up drinking a bottle of mead I'd poisoned. It was meant to be a gift for him…"

Astoria was shocked but she tried not make her feelings known. Out of respect for Draco, she maintained his eye contact.

"It wasn't exactly the way I'd pictured my life panning out. My father used to be highly respected at the Ministry. He was a school governor. I thought I had the world at my feet. My relationship with my father has never been great, no matter how hard I used to pretend, but still… when he was sent to prison I didn't cope with it very well at all. I took the Dark Mark because I thought it was what he would have wanted. I was so out of my depth it was unreal."

"Anyway… as the school year went on I became more and more desperate. I skipped lessons, meals, Quidditch. It became really noticeable, you know? I was ill. I barely even went outside. I was _this close_ to having a nervous breakdown. It got to the point where I would hide in the toilets and cry. And fuck me did I cry. Voldemort told me that if I didn't kill Dumbledore he'd kill me and anyone that mattered to me. Can you even imagine how scary that is?"

"Draco…" Astoria whispered. She didn't know what to say.

"So, the scars on my chest. You've definitely seen those, too. I've seen you looking at them… Potter catches me in the bathroom one day. He thinks he knows about me. Looking back, I suppose he did. The humiliation of him seeing me cry was unbearable. You have to understand that the animosity between us is very deeply rooted. We started duelling. I tried to use the Cruciatus Curse on him. I'm not proud of it, Astoria, but he was too quick for me anyway. He used this spell on me, I didn't know it at the time. Turned out, neither did he. It slashed me right open… my chest, my face. I lay on that bathroom floor and I thought I was going to die. Potter's on his knees by the side of me gibbering like a baby." Draco gave a short laugh. "You know, when I lay there watching the blood pouring out of me I thought that was the end. I felt relieved. I thought it would be easier to just die."

Astoria sucked in a breath through her teeth. He'd wanted to die. His story was more heartbreaking than she'd been prepared for. Tears stung her eyes but she fought not to let them slide down her cheeks.

"Anyway, I didn't die… as you can see." Draco went on to explain how he fixed the vanishing cabinet to allow the Death Eaters access to Hogwarts, and how he'd cornered and disarmed Dumbledore on the Astronomy Tower.

"It was Snape who stepped in. He'd made an Unbreakable Vow with my mother and sworn to protect me. He killed Dumbledore so I didn't have to. The silence that hangs in the air after someone says those words… it's haunting. It still haunts me."

He went silent and took another sip from his wine. He sighed heavily. It was clearly traumatic for him to recount what he'd lived through.

"Draco, did you have anyone? You know… anyone to help you through?"

Draco's lip twitched into a momentary sneer. "Not anyone worth having."

"Pansy…?" She knew that they'd been a couple for a while at school. Daphne had been friends with Pansy.

Draco shook his head disbelievingly, although he wasn't quite sure why he was surprised that Astoria knew that he and Pansy had been an item once upon a time.

"She couldn't have helped me through anything if she'd tried. She only added to my problems. Time was ticking for me and what did she do… 'why are you always so busy these days, Draco?', 'why won't you make time for me, Draco', 'when are you going to give it to me, Draco?'" He mimicked Pansy's voice with impressive accuracy. Astoria couldn't help but giggle. She covered her mouth with her hand to try and hide it but Draco eventually cracked a small smile himself.

"Seriously, though," he went on. "She was nothing to me. She was just there, and sometimes she gave me attention when I needed it. It was never serious. I never trusted her with anything - she didn't know anything about what I was doing. So no, Pansy wasn't there for me. Nobody was."

"I'm really sorry you had to go through that on your own," Astoria said, quietly.

"It got worse in seventh year. Voldemort moved in and -"

Astoria's eyes widened with shock. "Moved in where? In _here_?" Draco nodded solemnly in response and Astoria felt a shiver go down her spine.

"He spared me, anyway. Snape made up some bullshit about the vital role I'd played in Dumbledore's murder." Draco sounded bitter. "Then came death number two: the muggle studies teacher."

Astoria's hand flew to cover her mouth. Professor Burbage. She'd known her. She'd even considered taking muggle studies at one point.

"He killed her in the drawing room and fed her to his snake."

He noticed Astoria looking as though she were going to be sick. "I felt the same," he said. "Have some more wine." He pushed her glass towards her and she sipped obediently. "I can stop, if it's too much…"

"No," Astoria said, sounding more certain than she felt. She didn't know how much more she could take but, after all, it wasn't her who had had to live through it. If her and Draco were going to be a long-term thing, she had to try and understand his past.

"Ok, so, I didn't go back to school. Never graduated. The year I should have been studying for my NEWTs and fucking about in Hogsmeade I was here and… mostly I stayed out of the way, but there were times when they wanted to use me. They got me to… torture people."

It was at this point that Draco looked away from Astoria. He couldn't stand the shame of the awful things he'd done. He covered his face with his hands.

"Draco, it's ok," Astoria whispered. She leaned forward and placed her hand on his knee uncertainly. After a moment he lowered his hands but he still couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"Anyway, let's cut this long story short. The snatchers ended up catching Potter and his friends one day, brought them back here."

Astoria sat back in her chair, and Draco finally looked at her again.

"They brought me down to identify them and I covered for them as best I could without getting myself killed. I said I didn't know if it was them or not. They escaped. And then, yeah… the Battle of Hogwarts. I'm not sure how much you already know."

"I know bits but me and Daphne had already left at that point. Our parents said it wasn't safe any more."

Draco explained to Astoria how he tried to ambush Harry Potter in the Room of Requirement. How Crabbe had set the place alight, how he'd had to watch his friend die and feared for his own life all over again. He told her - begrudgingly - about Potter rescuing him. The tone in Draco's voice suggested to Astoria that he was pretty bitter about being rescued by his arch enemy.

Draco then told Astoria the vague details he knew of the events that followed: Potter going to the forest, his mother having to check if he was alive, risking everything just to find out if Draco was safe.

"And here we are, six years on. Six years and I still can't move on with my life. The fallout for the Malfoys wasn't graceful. My father evaded prison after offering up names of other Death Eaters and making a pretty large donation to charity. Mother just withdrew herself from society. I was the one who went off the rails. Parties, drink, girls… self pity... nights where I would wake up screaming… I didn't know how to cope and I didn't have anyone to show me how to. My parents didn't know how to handle me or the media attention I was getting. They were just constantly mad at me and I didn't really care. I blamed them. For everything."

A silence hung in the room as Draco wondered where the conversation was even going. Astoria was so stunned by his honesty she barely knew what to say.

"Were there many girls?" she asked eventually. Curiosity got the better of her.

Draco stared at her for a moment. After all that shit he'd just offloaded, was that seriously the one thing she wanted to know about? He shrugged. "There were a fair few but I hardly ever slept with them. I just liked messing around." When she didn't respond, he thought he'd better be more specific so as to put her mind at rest. "You're the fifth. Girl I've slept with, I mean. And you're also the first girl I've ever given a damn about."

Astoria smiled shyly, feeling embarrassed that she'd even asked.

"So anyway, that's me," Draco said with an air on finality. "And now I'm trying hard to figure out what to do with my life. I don't really know where I fit in this world like I did when I was fifteen. You have to know, Astoria, that so much baggage takes its toll. We've had fun the last few months, but it's difficult for me. The more you get to know me - that's if you even want to, anymore - the more you'll see that I'm not always much fun to be around."

"You told me the other day that my illness changes nothing," Astoria said. "You've just poured your heart out to me and you deserve my respect. You have my respect. I can't even imagine how you get through the days seeing the things you've seen. You're so strong, Draco."

Draco gave another humourless laugh. "I'm not strong, Astoria, I'm the weakest person I know. But I know one thing, and that's how serious I am about you. Are you sure I'm what you need?"

Astoria stood up and held her hand out towards him. After a seconds thought, Draco took her hand and allowed her to pull him to his feet.

"I think we'll be good for each other," Astoria said sincerely, looking up at him. "And hey, I'm not always much fun either, especially when I have to spend the day in bed up to my eyeballs in medication. We can make this work, Draco. We can bring fun to each other's lives, and we'll be happy. I know we can be happy. And as for what you said about telling me the truth before we fall too far. I think it's a bit late for that…"

Draco knew he'd already fallen too far, as well. The relief he felt was overwhelming. So was the sudden dizziness. Draco let go of Astoria's hand, gripping the arm of the chair for support.

"Draco? Draco?!"

Draco's eyes went out of focus; Astoria's voice seemed so far away. The next thing he knew, he fell to the floor and everything was black.


	4. Chapter 4

A couple of hours later, Astoria was sat at Draco's bedside in St Mungo's watching him sleep peacefully. He'd barely regained consciousness since he'd collapsed back in the Manor. The healer explained to Astoria that Draco had taken a dangerously high amount of anti-anxiety potion. An overdose.

Astoria could hardly comprehend the situation; she didn't even know he took medication and now she was sat holding his hand in hospital and wondering why he hadn't told her. This must have been how Draco had felt last week when he found out about her illness. But how had he overdosed? She'd been with him all evening and she hadn't seen him take anything.

Astoria found comfort in watching his chest rise and fall with every breath he took. At least he was safe now.

Suddenly the door to the room opened. Astoria looked up expecting to see the healer who'd been taking care of Draco since they'd arrived. Instead, she was greeted with the sight of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy.

Holy Salazar. She'd been so worried about them meeting under accidental circumstances and now here she was, and Draco wasn't even able to offer awkward introductions. Both of his parents looked terrifying. And confused.

Narcissa frowned at Astoria, stepping over the threshold, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Lucius followed, his eyebrow cocked with intrigue. He closed the door quietly behind himself.

"And you are?" Narcissa's tone wasn't the friendliest. Her eyes lingered on Astoria's fingers which were interlocked with Draco's.

Lucius clicked his tongue in delight, smiling malevolently. "Looks like our son has himself a _girlfriend_. Who knew?" Astoria didn't like his emphasis on the word 'girlfriend'.

She stood up and offered her hand. "I'm Astoria, Mr and Mrs Malfoy."

Narcissa considered Astoria's hand for a moment before shaking it briefly. She looked as though she'd had her nose put out of joint; Narcissa always thought that Draco would tell her if he was in a serious relationship. He mustn't consider it serious.

Lucius, in turn, shook Astoria's hand. His hand was ice cold. Astoria held his gaze for a moment before sitting back down hastily, willing Draco to wake up and save her from this mortifying situation. Though she looked away from his parents, she could feel their eyes boring into her, silently judging her.

"Astoria…?" Narcissa prompted.

Astoria turned back to face Narcissa. "Greengrass."

Lucius chortled. "At least he's managed to bag himself a girl from the Sacred Twenty-Eight. And a pretty little thing, too."

Astoria felt the goosebumps appear on her arms. Rarely had she ever felt so intimidated. So busy were they trying to find out about Astoria's blood status, they hadn't even bothered to ask how Draco was.

Draco became aware of voices. Distant voices. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking until his surroundings came a little more into focus. He felt drowsy, his head throbbing dully. He suddenly realised that he was in hospital. His mind - and vision - sharpened. He looked from his parents at the foot of his bed to Astoria at his side.

"W-what's going on?" he mumbled, heaving himself up. "What are you even doing here?" He looked at his parents through heavily-lidded eyes. But before they had chance to explain he looked towards Astoria. "Are you ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Astoria reassured him, smiling warmly and squeezing his hand.

He turned back to his parents. "Have you - have you been interrogating her?" His speech was slightly slurred, his voice husky.

It was his mother who spoke, though she ignored his questions. "Draco, for goodness sake. They told us you'd taken an overdose." She drew closer to Draco's bedside and eyed him with worry. "Just tell me Draco, please, you weren't trying to… did you do it on purpose?"

Lucius looked on, his face expressionless. Astoria looked from Narcissa to Draco.

"What?!" Draco sounded horrified. "No. What - why would I..?" He squinted, trying to recollect the evening's events before looking towards Astoria, seeking some form of clarification as to what was going on. She took his hand in hers again.

"Draco, the healer said you took an overdose of anti-anxiety potion," she explained slowly. "They also said you were drinking while taking the medication, which apparently you know you shouldn't do."

"Shit," Draco said under his breath. He rubbed his forehead in frustration, his brow furrowed. "I didn't think about the wine…"

An awkward silence filled the room. Astoria stared at the floor, feeling embarrassed, while Draco lay with his eyes closed wishing his parents would leave.

"How long have you and the young lady been an item then?" his father broke the silence.

"Almost half a year," Draco mumbled.

"Gosh… and we never knew," Lucius scoffed.

"Do you know what?" Draco snapped, opening his eyes. "Can you just leave?"

"Now, Draco. We've come back from our holiday because you decided to slip one too many of your crazy potions and -"

"Lucius!" Narcissa scorned. "What have I told you about calling his medication that?"

Draco glared at his father, wondering if his wand was close enough to hand to hex him. Astoria glanced nervously between the two of them. Lucius goading Draco over his medication was beyond unpleasant. She felt incredibly uncomfortable.

"Maybe I should leave you to it…" she said quietly, beginning to rise from the chair at Draco's side.

Draco reached out quickly and grabbed hold of Astoria's wrist. "Please don't go," he whispered.

The vulnerability in his voice and in his eyes broke Astoria's heart. She hadn't known Draco back when they were teenagers, back when he'd been going through hell, but that very moment offered her what felt like a glimpse into his more fragile side. Today had been an eyeopener - as much as Draco tried to pretend, his emotions were raw. She looked towards his parents for a moment before slowly sitting back down.

"I think we're the ones who should leave," Narcissa said, finally. "Our being here clearly isn't helping." She bent down and kissed Draco on the cheek. "Look after yourself, Draco." She turned to Astoria. "You look after him."

"I will, Mrs Malfoy," Astoria said confidently.

Draco mumbled his goodbyes and with that, his parents were gone. With his parents out of the way, Draco found it easier to relax, though he guessed he had some more explaining to do now. Astoria smiled at him weakly.

"Astoria…" Draco looked at her guiltily. "I'm sorry you had to meet them like that. They're... difficult."

But Astoria wasn't too concerned about the meeting - she was more worried about Draco's wellbeing.

"Forget that, I can't believe you didn't tell me about your medication after everything you said about me hiding my illness from you." The disappointment in her voice made Draco feel disappointed with himself.

"I'm sorry," Draco said, his voice still rough. He looked down at her hand clutching his. "I don't like people knowing. It's not the impression I want people to have of me."

Astoria shook her head disapprovingly.

"I would have told you," Draco said. "Maybe even tonight, if I hadn't…"

"And why were you drinking wine?" Astoria pressed on. "They said you knew you can't mix your potion with alcohol."

"I just didn't think," Draco confessed. "I spent the whole day working myself up over what I was going to say to you. I took a double dose to try and calm myself down, I've never done it before. Two wouldn't do that to me, I'm sure of it. I must have taken a third later in the evening. I can't remember…"

"What is the medication even for, Draco?"

Draco's eyes met hers. "Do you really need to ask that?" He took her lack of response as a 'yes'. He sighed. "Since the war I… it just fucked me up, Astoria. I can't cope with the guilt. I can't cope with the things I've seen. The things I've done. I have nightmares. I get anxious in social situations because I know how everyone feels about me. I know they hate me. I told you earlier, I'm weak. The potions just help me get by and they help me feel… normal. Or as close to normal as I can be."

Astoria spent a long minute thinking about how best to respond. She had to be supportive - Draco hadn't been anything less to her recently.

"I want you to do me a favour…" she said slowly.

Draco waited for her to continue. He was stroking the back of her hand absent-mindedly, watching her.

"I want you to try and stop taking these potions you've been relying on. It's not good for you."

Draco shook his head. "No. No way, Astoria. I need them."

The way he relied on these potions made Astoria feel a sadness from deep within. His emotional scars clearly ran deeper than even those that branded his left forearm.

"Draco, look at me. You don't _need_ them. You've just been relying on them for so long that you think you do. I'm not saying that giving them up would be easy but… I'm here to help you and I hope that counts for something."

Draco frowned slightly as though he were slowly being talked around.

"I know that you have bad days. I know that you have nightmares. And I know that you hate yourself, Draco, and it needs to stop. I'm going to be here. I just want you to try. Please."

"Hating yourself comes naturally when everybody else feels the same way. I'm not sure if that's something that can ever go away."

He wasn't looking at her. She wished that he was.

"I don't hate you, Draco. I love you."

Draco's eyes snapped towards her. That caught his attention.

"What did you say?" he asked in a whisper, his eyes flickering over her face.

"I said I love you." She smiled, trying not to feel entertained by the light confusion written across his face. Then his facial expression changed. For a split second she thought he was going to cry. He was struggling under the weight of her acceptance.

"You love me?" He couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Yes, why are you so surprised? Hasn't a witch ever told you -"

"No," Draco said. "No-one. I… I wasn't expecting that."

It took a few moments for Draco to digest what Astoria had just said. His mind had gone into overdrive. She loved him? Did she mean it? Did he love her back? Did he even know what love really felt like?

Astoria moved to sit on the edge of his bed, one hand reaching out to stroke his hair softly from his face.

Draco felt vulnerable as he found himself hoping that she'd meant what she said. He was still trying to process what was happening. If he knew one thing, it was that he didn't want to face life without her anymore. She gave him a reason to wake up in the morning. Now she could be his reason to stop taking his medication. Maybe that was love.

The seconds ticked by. Astoria eventually pulled him into a hug. Draco wrapped an arm around her, his hand becoming entangled with her hair.

"I love you, too," he said, so quietly she barely heard him. It was good enough for Astoria.

Just before the clock struck midnight on July 30th 2004, Draco came to realise that showing emotion didn't always have to be seen as a sign of weakness.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the next few months, Draco and Astoria's relationship went from strength to strength. Draco had followed Astoria's wishes and had stopped taking his medication completely.

"Maybe you could just come off of it gradually?" she'd suggested.

He hadn't agreed. "No. If I'm going to do this, then I'm just going to do it. The hard way."

The first few nights had been difficult. It took Draco hours to drift off to sleep, and as soon as he did, his sleep was invaded with visions of someone writhing around under the power of his Imperius Curse or flames licking at him as he struggled to balance atop a mountain of furniture. He'd wake up sweating, shaking and shouting to find Astoria watching him with worry etched across her face. It was embarrassing. She'd pull his pathetic form towards her and hold him as though he were a frightened child. Any self-respect he had left was shattered by letting Astoria see him like this. But she wanted him off of the medication and, deep down, he knew she was right: it wasn't good for him to depend on it. So he'd carried on.

After a couple of weeks or so, sleep started to come more naturally and the bad dreams disturbed Draco's nights less frequently. With Astoria staying over at the Manor almost every night (luckily, the house was big enough to allow them to avoid his parents with relative ease), they would often talk into the early hours of the morning. He loved learning more about her and, slowly, he began to find enjoyment in telling her about his life - the better bits, anyway. Eventually, they would fall asleep lying face to face, just centimetres apart.

They hadn't spoken the words 'I love you' since the very first time, back in St Mungo's; their comfort in each other's company spoke for itself.

Draco felt himself becoming a happier person. Up until recently he'd been resentful, reclusive and wracked with guilt. Meeting Astoria felt as though he'd opened the curtains to find the sun shining in after several years of constant rain. He soon felt as though Astoria was his whole world. Though she tried to convince him to socialise more, he felt even less need to do so now. They did attended the odd party together with friends, but they always ended up disappearing into the crowd away from the group they'd arrived with. Draco was more than content when it was just the two of them. He knew his reliance on her should concern him, but it didn't.

Draco's relationship with Astoria's family didn't get any easier. He'd now had dinner with the Greengrasses on two occasions, both of which had been uncomfortable to say the least. Daphne had delivered a half-hearted attempt at being civil; she couldn't quite restrain herself from making snide comments across the table every half an hour. Astoria's parents had settled for the interrogation tactic. They would ask Draco as many questions as they could possibly think of without explicitly bringing up his shady past. It was a sign of his dedication to Astoria that Draco remained seated and answered their questions as best he could.

Astoria's relationship with Draco's parents was equally as strained. She'd made the mistake of mentioning that she'd almost taken muggle studies at school over dinner one evening. Lucius in particular had not taken this revelation lightly. Since then, Draco had purposely made sure that Astoria saw as little of his parents as possible and Astoria had become accustomed to their blatant feelings of disdain every time their paths did cross. However, as the weeks and months passed by, Narcissa was forced into accepting that Draco and Astoria's relationship was more serious than she'd initially believed.

* * *

Sticking to the promise he'd once made, Draco spent his days researching Astoria's illness and the family curse. Although Draco had rarely seen Astoria have a bad day, the thought of her being in pain still made him anxious. He hadn't taken a single anti-anxiety potion or sleeping draught since the day he overdosed, so the only way to ease this anxiety was to try and understand. He started making potions in his spare time and storing them in vials, ready to test them on Astoria whenever she had a particularly a bad day.

Unfortunately, the opportunity arrived with the new year, when Astoria's bad days started occurring more frequently. Draco hadn't seen Astoria for three days - the longest they'd spent apart in months - when he received an owl. He didn't recognise the handwriting. The note inside was brief.

 _Draco,_

 _Astoria's really not doing well this week. She's been in bed for three days now and she wanted me to write to you and let you know. I think she'd appreciate your company._

 _Daphne_

Draco felt a wave of concern wash over him. Three days? Astoria had told him that her bad spells rarely lasted longer than 24 hours. Immediately, Draco packed some essentials into an overnight bag, collected the vials of ready-prepared potion and apparated, appearing outside of the Greengrass' front door. He knocked the door four times. It was always four times. It took Daphne a couple of minutes to answer.

"That was quick." She almost sounded impressed.

"Whatever you might think, your sister is important to me," Draco said coolly.

As Daphne moved aside to let him in she spotted his bag. "What's with the bag?"

"Oh, I'll be staying," Draco announced, with no attempt to check if this was actually ok.

Daphne snorted with laughter. "I don't think mum and dad are going to stand for that."

As she closed the door, Draco turned sharply to face her. "We've been together almost a year now, Daphne," his voice was marred with aggression. "It's about time you and your parents started accepting the fact that I'm not going anywhere. Not tonight. Not ever."

Daphne was surprised by his sudden outburst. She'd clearly touched a nerve. She smirked. "If you say so." She didn't want to push him too far, seeing as his arrival had been rather convenient. "Anyway, I have to go somewhere. Look after her." And with that, she left.

Draco turned on his heel and strode towards the stairs, before ascending them in search of Astoria. He found her sleeping peacefully. He closed her bedroom door as quietly as he could and crossed the room, leaning against her window seat and watching over her. She definitely looked under the weather; she was paler than usual and her hair stuck to her face from where she'd been sweating. Draco stayed there silently until half an hour later when she began to stir.

Astoria opened her eyes blearily, noticing the outline of a familiar figure leaning against the window seat.

"Hey," Draco said softly, making his way over to her bedside.

"Hey, yourself," Astoria replied weakly. She watched as he sat down in the chair next to her bed.

"Three days?" he asked. She only nodded in response. He exhaled deeply. "Bloody hell, Astoria. This isn't right."

"I know. I have an appointment at St Mungo's next month. It's an annual thing to help keep an eye on my condition. Maybe they'll be able to shed some light."

Draco stroked his chin thoughtfully. "You want me to come with you?" he asked finally.

"No, not to the tests," Astoria said softly. She suddenly burst into a coughing fit. As she rushed to sit up, Draco passed her a glass of water, supporting her neck with his hand as she sipped it carefully. When the coughing subsided, she lay back down. "The tests… Draco, there's honestly no point in you coming to them. I usually go alone. But you could come to the results with me. They're always a bit scarier."

"Of course," he said, eyeing her with concern. "How long do they usually take?"

"Just a few days. They owl me when they're in," Astoria whispered. "I'm sure it'll be fine but I have been having more bad days than usual lately."

"It's not gone unnoticed," Draco assured her. "Anyway, yes, I'll come. Whenever it is. I'm here. You know that."

A couple of hours later Draco had found his way around the kitchen, and had managed to prepare Astoria a healthy meal. He'd shown her the potions he'd been working on which, eventually, she'd agreed to try. She'd sipped a vivid pink one slowly until the vial was empty. Now they were just waiting to see whether it'd have any effect.

Daphne arrived home to find Draco making his way towards the stairs carrying the plate of food.

"What are you doing?"

"I've made Astoria some food. I've been looking into the best foods for someone in her condition to - "

"I usually make her meals when she's sick," Daphne cut across him.

"Well you weren't here, were you? You swanned out. Now she's got me, maybe you can take more of a back seat. She doesn't need both of us fussing over her."

Daphne's face flushed red with anger. "I'm sorry, but who in the name of Salazar do you think you are?" Her words came out in the form of a shrill shriek to rival that of Pansy Parkinson.

"Daphne, you know perfectly well who I am," Draco drooled. "You're awfully good at judging me so there is no doubt in my mind that you know not only who I am, but the ins and outs of my entire life. Now, I'm off upstairs because Astoria needs to eat something. She has no energy. She's crashing. Oh, and next time, keep your voice down - she could have been asleep."

* * *

The next month, Astoria went for her tests alone. Draco had mentioned several times that he'd be happy to come along, but she'd insisted she didn't need him there.

Instead, she'd returned home to find him waiting on the front door. He'd presented her with flowers before announcing that he was taking her out for dinner. That evening, Astoria didn't think of her results once as Draco wined and dined her. He watched her lips as she spoke and every once in a while he'd brush his hand against hers. Tomorrow just so happened to mark one year to the day since they first met.

Six days later, Astoria found herself in one of St Mungo's many waiting rooms. She's been here many times before, but this time felt different. Although Draco was sat beside her, holding her hand, her heart felt heavy. She couldn't remember ever feeling so anxious about her results before.

The staff kept them waiting a long time. Every time the door opposite them opened, Draco would look up expectantly. He'd gone to speak to someone twice already. Draco was not a patient man. Eventually a specialist healer emerged from the room.

"Astoria Greengrass?"

Draco had looked towards Astoria nervously. "It's fine," she reassured him, despite her own doubts. "It's not like I haven't done this ten times before."

She made her way into the consultancy room, Draco close behind. The room was small with no windows. Draco didn't like it. It felt too restricting. He looked around the room before seating himself next to Astoria.

"So, Miss Greengrass. How have you been _feeling_ recently? Have you experienced any noticeable deterioration in your condition?" The healer was in his late forties with a kind face. This helped Astoria feel a little more at ease.

Draco stared silently across the desk at the healer, reaching across and holding Astoria's hand encouragingly.

"I've been better," Astoria said honestly. "I mean, on normal days I'm just my usual self. But the bad days have been happening more often lately than they have before. And it's not always just one day. Last month, I felt drained for three days in a row. I didn't get out of bed."

"And did you experience any pain during these three days, Miss Greengrass?"

"No pain. Just tiredness, lack of energy, occasionally dizziness. And I get these coughing fits. I just don't feel myself on those days. It just makes me so unhappy."

Draco closed his eyes. He hated to hear of her being unhappy. It made him feel helpless. The healer, on the other hand, maintained eye contact with Astoria, nodding in understanding. He shuffled a couple of papers in front of him, clearing his throat. Astoria felt her heart starting to beat faster.

"Miss Greengrass, I have the results of your most recent tests here now. I'm afraid the findings aren't… well, they're not looking so promising."

Draco's eyes snapped open. Astoria had told him that her results were the same year in, year out. He glanced at her, trying to sense whether she was worried. She was. He could tell.

"Miss Greengrass," the healer's voice was quiet but serious. "Unfortunately, your test results have shown up with certain… abnormalities, further to the extent of your condition we were already aware of. It appears that, in line with what you've described, your blood malediction has become more serious since your annual tests last year."

Draco stared across the desk unblinking. Suddenly his throat felt very dry.

"What does that mean?" Astoria asked in a whisper, gripping Draco's hand tighter.

"There is no easy way for me to tell you this, Miss Greengrass. We've come to the conclusion that the curse is taking a hold on you more rapidly than the few cases we've seen of the same nature as yours. I regret to inform you that it's highly likely that the curse… the malediction... will cut your life short. I'm terribly sorry."

Astoria suddenly felt as though someone had frozen time. In a state of shock, she sat in silence for what felt like hours, staring straight ahead of her but not seeing.

The words the healer had just spoken echoed around Draco's head. This didn't make any sense. Astoria hadn't seemed overly stressed by the test results. And now what - the healer was telling her that the curse was going to kill her? There had to be a mistake.

Eventually, Astoria spoke. "Cut it short by… what are you trying to tell me? I'm dying? Am I dying?"

Draco looked at Astoria. Hearing her speak the words 'am I dying?' hit him like the most unpleasant hex. Worse.

"I'm truly sorry it isn't better news, Miss Greengrass. But at this point in time, we can look into increasing your potion dosages. We can also look carefully into other forms of treatment for you, see how they go. However, I'm afraid even then, your test results indicate that it's very unlikely you will live past the age of forty. If you have any questions, any at all - "

The healer carried on talking but neither Draco nor Astoria could register what he was saying. The world felt as though it were falling in on them. Draco looked away, towards the floor, trying to make some sort of sense of the situation. He felt sick to his stomach to think that what the healer was saying could actually be true. He turned slowly to face Astoria who had let go of his hand and was now staring at her hands lying in her lap. She felt numb. Draco found himself not knowing what to say or do. He was helpless once more. The silence was sobering.

The majority of the time, Astoria was so happy and full of life; how could it be that her illness was slowly killing her? And where were they going to go from here? There were so many unanswered questions and Draco would have done anything to give her the answers she needed but he couldn't. All he knew was that she didn't deserve this.

* * *

A short while later, back at Astoria's house, Draco had stayed out of the way while Astoria told Daphne and her parents the news. Sitting on the window seat in Astoria's room, he'd heard the Greengrass family sobbing downstairs as tears fell silently down his own cheeks. He and Astoria had only spent one short year together, but in that time Draco had grown to accept that she was changing him for the better. He already depended on her more than she'd ever know. This made today's news even more frightening.

That night, Astoria was curled up on her bed next to Draco who lay staring up at the ceiling, his arm around her. She'd cried for hours as he'd cradled her head protectively, wiping her tears and stroking her hair. They hadn't spoken much since learning of Astoria's life sentence. There were no words.

Draco was aching inside; he wasn't sure how they were going to get through this. Astoria didn't know he'd cried for her and that was the way he wanted it to stay. As much as he was falling apart, Astoria needed him to show strength. Strength that was perhaps beyond his abilities, but he owed it to her to try.

February 24th 2005 was the day that Draco realised his and Astoria's lives would never be the same again.


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days left Draco feeling as though he were having an out-of-body experience. He'd decided to stay at the Greengrass house whether they liked it or not. Astoria wanted him there, and that was all that mattered.

They would eat meals around the table together in complete silence as if they'd all forgotten how to make conversation. The rest of the time Astoria would hide away in her room and, more often than not, Draco would join her. Even if she didn't want to talk, he felt like he should just be there. He tried to coax conversation out of her, but her answers were vague. Either that or she'd ignore him completely, although he suspected she wasn't doing this on purpose. Most of the time she looked too deep in thought. Draco just wished he could do something to take her pain away.

When night time came they would get under the covers and Astoria would lie, poker straight, staring up at the ceiling. Draco would bury his nose in a book until, eventually, Astoria would wriggle closer to him, seeking the safety of his arms. He'd put his book down on the bedside table and hold her until she fell asleep, only speaking if she spoke first.

On the fourth night, however, he decided that enough was enough. Yes, the news was horrific, and yes, it had been a shock, but there was no need for them to act as though she'd already died. Astoria turning forty was a long way off and there was still a chance that she'd live well past that age anyway.

"Astoria," he said softly. "We can't sit in silence forever." She was curled up on the edge of her bed with her back to him. He moved closer to her and tucked her hair behind her ear.

Eventually she turned to look at him. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. She sat up, mirroring his position as they faced each other properly for the first time in days.

"If you want to dump me and get out while you can, I won't blame you," she said suddenly.

"What?" Draco was horrified. Dumping her was the last thing he wanted to do. Did she really think so little of him? "Do you actually think I would do that?"

"No, I'm not saying that I think it's crossed your mind. But it's crossed mine and I just felt like I had to give you the option. A free pass. There's not many people who would want to dedicate their life to a dying woman. So, there you go. If you want to get out now, you can. I won't hold it against you."

"Astoria, for Merlin's sake, don't be so ridiculous. I've told you before that your illness changes nothing. I'm not going to walk away from this. I'm not going to walk away from _you_."

"But why would you want to be with me now?" she asked in a whisper.

"Because you're the only person who ever made me feel like I could be happy. Because you're showing me how to be a better person. Because you're the only person who's ever made me feel loved and the only person who's ever been able to show me what it means to love someone. And because I would rather feel the way I do when you're around for _one more day_ than begin to imagine my life without you in it, let alone seventeen years or more."

Until that very moment, Draco had never put into words exactly how much Astoria meant to him. He'd known, of course. He just wasn't sure if he wanted her to know just how much he needed her. Now seemed like the appropriate time to reveal the extent of his feelings.

"I don't deserve you," Astoria said, her voice cracking, her eyes brimming with tears.

"No, Astoria. I don't deserve you."

Astoria began sobbing hysterically. "I'm scared, Draco. I'm so fucking scared."

Draco sighed sadly and pulled her towards him. She cried into his chest, soaking the front of his robes with tears. He didn't mind. He slowly rocked her back and forth, attempting to calm her down.

"I'm scared, too," he confessed in a whisper, kissing her on top of her head. He wasn't sure if she heard him.

There was a quiet knock at the door. Daphne had heard her sister's outburst from down the corridor. She poked her head around the door.

"Is she ok?" she mouthed to Draco. Seeing him comfort Astoria so lovingly almost rooted Daphne to the spot. It was the first time it'd ever crossed her mind that actually, maybe Draco did genuinely care for her sister. Daphne felt herself warm to him ever so slightly.

"I've got her," Draco mouthed back. He waved his hand for Daphne to leave, though not in an entirely unfriendly manner.

Daphne nodded and Draco was sure that, for a brief moment, she smiled at him sadly before pulling the door closed.

Eventually, Astoria's sobs subsided; she extracted herself from Draco's embrace and took a few shaky breaths. "I don't know where we go from here, Draco."

"Neither do I, Astoria, but I suppose that's something we're going to figure out together."

Astoria tilted her head to one side slightly, considering Draco's words. How did he always know what to say to make her feel better? She suddenly felt sad. Sad that people were too quick to judge him. She felt as though she were the only person who got to see the real Draco Malfoy and this made her feel incredibly privileged. Her sadness was replaced with a warmth in her heart.

"You kind of said you love me… again," she pointed out, unable to stop herself from smiling.

Draco smiled, too. "Don't get used to it. I have a reputation to maintain."

Hearing Astoria laugh brought him unimaginable relief. They would be ok.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, everyone slowly began to adjust to the news that Astoria's illness would, one day, prove fatal. It was far from easy but it was something they were all going to have to learn to accept.

Astoria's mood would vary from one day to the next. She'd wake up some mornings with only one thing on her mind, unable to shake the fear or the worry. Other mornings, she would wake up feeling much happier and would go about her day as normal.

One sunny morning, Draco suggested that they both get out of the house. He'd barely left the Greengrass' since the hospital appointment, and Astoria hadn't been out at all.

"We'll do anything you want," he offered.

Astoria smiled as she brushed her hair in the mirror and tied it up into a ponytail. "Ok, let's go for a walk. Like, up a hill or something."

"A walk up a hill," Draco repeated slowly.

Astoria looked at him in the reflection. "Yeah," she confirmed brightly.

Draco shrugged. "Fine, walk up a hill it is. Any hill in particular?"

"Somewhere pretty."

"Right, ok. A pretty hill." Draco sounded skeptical. He thought for a moment. "Give me an hour."

Standing by his word, Draco returned an hour later and walked around to the back of the house, standing underneath Astoria's window. He called out her name until she came to the window.

She knelt on the window seat and yanked the window up, leaning out. She was greeted by the sight of Draco, weighed down by a picnic basket and blanket. He held them out expectantly, seeking praise for his efforts. Astoria grinned from ear to ear.

"A picnic!" she said excitedly.

"Come on then!" Draco encouraged her.

She pulled on some old shoes and a jacket and joined Draco around the back of her house. It was fairly warm for a day in late March, though still chilly when the breeze blew.

"Can we at least apparate to the top of the hill?" Draco asked.

"Nope. We'll apparate to the bottom of the hill and then walk up."

Draco groaned. "Fine. You ready?" He held out his hand and she took it.

When they arrived at their destination, Astoria opened her eyes and looked around her. Breathing in the fresh air felt good, and their surroundings were beautiful.

"Where are we?"

"North Wessex Downs," Draco told her. "It's not far from my house. I used to come here sometimes as a kid." He glanced down, kicking at one foot with the other pointlessly.

"It's beautiful. Thank you." She reached up on tip-toe and kissed Draco on the cheek.

A while later, they were settled at the top of one of the hills after a relatively short walk up to the top. Draco had moaned the entire way up, of course, but Astoria wasn't really listening. She was too preoccupied with appreciating the beauty of the countryside.

The picnic had been amazing. Draco had brought a selection of cheeses and chutneys, fancy sandwiches, fresh fruit and - Astoria's favourite - cheesecake. He'd also brought a bottle of sparkling wine and two glasses. Astoria was beyond impressed.

Now, the two of them lay on their backs on the blanket, staring up at the sky. Draco's arm was stretched out, Astoria resting her head on his shoulder. They were trying to distinguish shapes in the clouds.

"That one looks like a unicorn," Astoria said, squinting her eyes and pointing.

"What? No it doesn't," Draco scoffed. He looked around and pointed to the smallest cloud he could find. "That one looks like your sister's brain... tiny compared to all the others."

Astoria smacked him playfully, but couldn't help laughing. He had such a wicked sense of humour.

"She really loves you, doesn't she?" he asked suddenly.

"Who, Daphne?" Astoria craned her neck to look at him. He nodded. "Yeah, she does. Sometimes she's a bit suffocating... but she means well. I know you don't like her but she's just looking out for me."

"I guess we have that in common," Draco said. "I don't know, it just feels like a competition sometimes. She hates me being around. She certainly doesn't want to make things easy for me."

"Does it upset you?" Astoria asked curiously.

"No, it doesn't upset me. It's just tiring. I feel like I'm constantly fighting one person or another."

Astoria smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, things are rarely ever easy."

Draco sighed. "You can say that again."

They lay in silence for a while, watching the breeze dance through the trees in the distance. It was nearing four in the afternoon and dusk would arrive soon enough. When the pair of them eventually sat up, Draco took off his cloak and placed it around Astoria's shoulders. She pulled it around her gratefully, breathing in his scent.

"I wonder if you and Daphne will ever get along," Astoria pondered. She looked towards Draco, who sat stiffly on the blanket. "You're not really a people person are you, Draco?" She didn't air this as a criticism; more an observation.

Draco glanced at her. "I don't feel the need to be," he said, as frank as ever.

"I feel like you're a different person when you're with me," Astoria admitted. "Sometimes, I'm not sure which is the real you."

Draco stared straight ahead, considering his response. He knew Astoria had a fair point. "They're both the real me," he said eventually. "Look, it's rare that I find someone I want to make an effort with. I rarely believe that someone is worth it. It works both ways - few people believe I'm worth the effort as well. I'm an ex-Death Eater, why would I be?"

"I've spent a great deal of my life feeling incredibly lonely, Astoria. I've never had any real friends. My circumstances haven't made me the warmest of people, but trust me, when there's someone in my life worth keeping - someone like you - I would go to any lengths. You get... let's say 'the other side of me', and right now, you're probably the only person who does."

"You have friends," Astoria said.

"No," Draco responded firmly. "I have people I know and who know me, and we can stand to be in each other's company from time to time. That's not what friendship is to me, Astoria."

"It makes me really sad that you feel that way," Astoria said. He still wasn't looking at her.

"It used to make me sad, too," Draco said quietly. "But now I have you."

A silence fell between them. Yet again, Astoria was amazed by Draco's complete honesty. He really didn't hold back; to her, his trust felt like a gift. Like something she should treasure. The fact that he trusted her was clearly a big deal for him and Astoria appreciated it beyond belief. Saddened by his latest confession, she felt the need to cheer him up.

"You've taken my mind off of everything today," she said, looking across at him. "It's been so much fun."

He looked at her with understanding in his eyes. He knew exactly what it felt like to need to escape from the world. He was glad he could bring her that release.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

For a minute, Astoria and Draco just looked at each other in awe. Draco never realised that happiness could be so effortless. When he was with her he just felt himself; he finally felt like he didn't have to hide any part of himself. He'd never had a serious relationship until Astoria and he hadn't been looking for one when she came along. It just felt like the most natural thing in the world. He looked at her intensely, adjusting to the emotions he always believed he'd never get the chance to feel.

Astoria held his gaze, though the hard look in his eyes indicated that he was deep in thought. She felt naked under the determination of his stare.

"Marry me." The words escaped his lips before he even knew where they'd come from.

Astoria's jaw dropped slightly as she took a couple of seconds to process what he'd just said. He still had the same determined look in his eye.

"Draco..."

"Marry me," he said again. It started to dawn on him that this was the most awful proposal in history - he didn't have a ring, he wasn't on one knee. But he hadn't planned it. It just happened and it felt right. "I mean, _will you_ marry me?"

Astoria laughed breathlessly as Draco looked at her in anticipation.

"Yes," she said, nodding her head fiercely. "Yes… yes!"

Relief washed over him. "Yes?" He needed to hear it one last time.

"Yes, I'll marry you, Draco Malfoy."

After adjusting to the overwhelming emotion that had just washed over him, Draco managed to pull Astoria towards him. He held her as though she were the most precious thing in the world because, to him, she was.

March 27th 2005 was the day that Draco finally felt confident that he'd made a good decision for one of the first times in his life.


	7. Chapter 7

It wasn't long before the reality of Draco's impromptu proposal began to sink in. With Astoria's family disliking Draco and his family disliking her, breaking the news was going to prove no mean feat.

"Let's not tell anyone yet," Draco suggested, as they prepared to apparate back to Astoria's. "I want to get you a ring. I'll ask you again properly."

Astoria smiled, lacing her fingers through his. "You did it when it felt right for you. That's the epitome of doing it properly." She still couldn't come to terms with what had just happened. By the look on Draco's face, he couldn't either.

They arrived home to find Astoria's parents relaxing in the lounge. They noticed Astoria's uplifted mood immediately.

"Did you have a nice time?" her father asked, looking up from his newspaper and peering over his reading glasses.

"The best," Astoria said. Draco lingered awkwardly behind her.

"Well, you certainly seem much happier," her mother said reluctantly.

"With the right company…" Astoria said quietly.

Draco felt his cheeks turn pink. He stared at the floor, fully aware that he had nothing to contribute to this conversation.

"Well, thank you, Draco," Astoria's father suddenly said out of nowhere. And he actually sounded sincere. "We have our differences but, I have to hand it to you, you do seem to make my daughter happy."

Draco looked up, struggling to mask his air of surprise. "Astoria means the world to me, Mr Greengrass. I'll always do what I can for her." His tone was indifferent, but Astoria knew it was a big step for Draco. He very rarely showed any form of emotion in front of anyone besides her.

After bidding her parents goodnight, Astoria and Draco retreated upstairs. Astoria headed to the bathroom and returned to her room to find Draco sat on her window seat in the dark, staring out across the fields. He was so lost in his own world that he hadn't even noticed her come in. She walked over to him, and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. He jumped.

"I didn't hear you!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry," Astoria said softly, sitting down and joining him in looking out across the fields. There were lights twinkling in the far distance and Astoria appreciated the tranquility more than she had in a long time. "What are you thinking?" she asked him eventually.

Draco kept quiet for a while. "You shouldn't take my name," he said suddenly. Seriously.

It took Astoria less than two seconds to shake her head defiantly. "Draco…"

"No, listen," he cut across her. "The name Malfoy used to mean something. It used to be respected. Now it just… it's not something to be proud of any more. I've had to deal with enough shit because of it, and I'm not having you go through the same."

"Draco," she said gently. "Everyone knows we're together. I've never had any hassle because of it."

She watched him staring out into darkness. He looked like a lost child.

"It'll be different," he said simply. "People who don't even _know_ you will judge you, just from your name. I have to protect you from it, Astoria. You have to stay a Greengrass."

"And how about if I tell you I won't marry you unless you give me your name?"

Draco turned to look at her slowly. "Then I'd tell you that you're making a very bad decision," he said calmly.

"Bad decision it may be, it's still my decision to make, Draco. And I'm serious. You can forget the idea of me keeping my name. To take yours would mean the world to me. It'd bring us closer together. I know that means as much to you as it does to me."

Draco looked away from her. "It does," he admitted in a whisper. He couldn't deny it would mean a great deal to him for her to take his name.

That night, Draco took Astoria's hand and led her to bed. They made love for the first time since learning of Astoria's fate. Draco was as gentle as always, but the connection Astoria felt with him was electrifying. He was more vocal than usual, whispering how much she meant to him as he felt himself drawing nearer to the edge. When he came, he looked her right in the eye, his face so close to hers, and she felt nothing but love. He may not say the words very often, but there was no doubt he knew how to show Astoria that he loved her. She couldn't wait to be his wife.

* * *

The next day, Astoria woke to find that Draco had already left the house. He returned several hours later and presented her with the most beautiful diamond ring in the privacy of her bedroom. After slipping the ring onto her finger, they smiled as their eyes met.

"I guess this makes you Mrs Malfoy to be then… unless you've changed your mind, of course."

"I haven't changed my mind and I'm not going to," Astoria reassured him. She held up her hand and admired the ring. "It's beautiful, Draco."

He smiled briefly before saying: "I think we should tell your family. I saw them downstairs when I came in."

Astoria swallowed hard and nodded. She wasn't ready for their bubble of happiness to burst just yet but she knew it had to be done. She was prepared for the worst. Draco looked more nervous than she felt.

They made their way to the dining room, where they disturbed a conversation Daphne and her parents were having. Astoria cleared her throat, Draco stood at her side.

"So…" Astoria said. She held up her hand to show her family the ring on her finger, waiting with baited breath for their reactions.

Daphne's jaw practically hit the floor. Her parents exchanged worried glances.

"You're engaged?" Daphne's tone was impossible to read.

Astoria nodded excitedly. At first, she'd tried to hide her excitement but then wondered why she should find it necessary to do so. She was going to marry Draco and she was over the moon. She wound her arm around his waist protectively. She could sense he was still nervous.

Daphne got up and held her hand out. Astoria offered her left, and her sister inspected the ring closely. She pulled a face which Astoria could only take to mean that she was impressed.

"Boy done good," Daphne said, nodding in approval and releasing Astoria's hand. "Congratulations." Through her mild exasperation, her congratulations appeared genuine. She pulled her sister into a brief hug before turning to Draco. "Look after her, Malfoy, or I'll hex your bollocks off. You know she's too good for you."

Draco winced. "Consider me warned," he mumbled. He glanced at Astoria and noticed she was trying not to laugh.

Daphne sat back down. "I sincerely hope you're looking forward to having me as a big sister," she said, smiling falsely.

"I'm overjoyed at the prospect," Draco said flatly. Astoria recognised his sarcasm and smirked.

Astoria's parents had kept quiet as of yet. She turned to them expectantly.

"Sweetheart, you just found out about your condition getting worse. Are you sure this is a good idea?" her mother asked softly. Astoria stared at her mother blankly for a moment.

"Actually, if you don't mind me saying, Mrs Greengrass, I think that's possibly the best reason for this to happen now." Draco spoke confidently. "Daphne thought I'd run when I found out about Astoria's illness. In actual fact, it was me who was with her when she received the news the other week. It was me who held her and tried to stop her from crying. And it's me who's been taking care of her on her bad days for the last few months. This is me stepping up to the mark and showing Astoria that I'm not running anywhere. If you and your husband can't see how much your daughter means to me, then you're both too blinded by hatred. It's been years since I've had confidence in myself, Mr and Mrs Greengrass, but I'm more than confident right now that marrying your daughter will be the best decision I've ever made. And I'll make sure her accepting my hand in marriage will be the best decision she's ever made, too."

Draco stared at Astoria's parents, unfaltering. It was the first time he'd ever stood up for himself against them. Astoria couldn't feel more proud of him right now; she was smiling from ear to ear. Even Daphne seemed impressed by his little speech. She was watching her parents with interest to see what they had to say in response. The silence lingered on.

"Mum, dad, come on!" Daphne said. She waved a hand in Draco's direction. "I don't _like_ him, but you can clearly see that he loves her. Look at her, look how happy she is. He did that. I don't know how because he's a miserable sod, but he makes her smile like she hasn't in years."

Of the three of them, Draco had least expected it to be Daphne fighting his corner, albeit with a few insults thrown in. He felt a certain degree of gratitude towards his soon-to-be sister-in-law.

Astoria was equally as shocked. "Thank you," she mouthed to Daphne.

Astoria's father was the first to stand. "Strong words there, Draco. I guess I'd better say 'welcome to the family.'" It was far from friendly, but it was still immense progress.

He extended an arm and Draco shook his hand firmly, holding his gaze. "Thank you, sir," Draco said sincerely.

Astoria smiled at Daphne behind Draco's back, who offered a thumbs up in return.

Eventually, Astoria's mother stood, too. "I second what Daphne says, Draco. You better take care of her. So help you, if you don't."

"You have my word."

Astoria's mother slowly held out her hand, which Draco shook. "Thank you," he said.

* * *

Two days later, Draco and Astoria found themselves at the Manor in the company of Draco's parents for the first time in a few weeks. Draco had wanted to go alone; he was incredibly worried about the possibility of his father reacting badly and upsetting Astoria, but she was insistent upon them delivering the news together, as they had done with her parents. She was nervous, but she'd live with it, whatever the reaction was.

"Where have you been, Draco?" his mother asked, the moment he found her in the function room. She started fussing over him, straightening his robes. "Astoria, how lovely to see you," she said, turning to Astoria, though the tone in her voice wasn't entirely convincing. Astoria greeted Draco's mum, being sure to keep her engagement ring out of sight.

"I've been at Astoria's, mother. She's been… unwell." He wasn't sure whether to explain what exactly had happened over the last few weeks.

"I see…" Narcissa responded, her tone icy. "How unwell? Is it contagious?" She suddenly looked at Astoria as though she were mildly disgusting.

Draco frowned at Narcissa just as Lucius entered the room. "Mother, don't look at her like that - "

"Draco. I thought I heard your dulcet tones," Lucius greeted his son in his usual antagonising manner. "Ah, and he brought his girlfriend along, too. _Charmed_." Lucius smiled, though it didn't feel friendly.

"Father," Draco said coolly. "Myself and Astoria wish to speak with you both. Could you sit down?"

Lucius and Narcissa exchanged a confused glance before seating themselves at the table. Draco pulled a chair out for Astoria before sitting himself. Astoria didn't know where to look. Draco felt equally as uncomfortable. This was an experience he usually avoided at all costs, but right now he didn't really have much choice. He felt like a twelve-year-old boy again under the cold stare of his father.

Eventually he spoke. "So, I'll cut to the chase. A few days ago, I asked Astoria if she would marry me. And she said yes."

Once again, Lucius and Narcissa exchanged glances, more wearily this time.

"So you're engaged?" Lucius drooled.

"Yes. Engaged."

"You've barely known each other five minutes, Draco," Narcissa said coldly. "I mean, no disrespect to the girl, but surely you need to take more time to think over such a big decision."

Astoria rolled her eyes, annoyed by the fact that Narcissa was talking about her as if she wasn't even there.

"We've been together for over a year now, mother, and to be entirely honest with you, it's more than enough. I've known for a long time that Astoria is the one for me. There's no two ways about it. So before either of you try to dissuade me - and I have absolutely no idea why you would, since she makes me happy - my mind is already made up."

"Right," Narcissa replied, not bothering to hide her displeasure. "And this has nothing to do with this... _illness_?"

Draco glanced at Astoria. They hadn't discussed whether she was happy for his family to know details. She nodded at him as if to say 'tell them what you must'. Draco closed his eyes for a moment, unsure of how to proceed with such a delicate topic of conversation in front of his parents.

"Astoria... has a blood malediction. She's had it for years but, well, lately it's become a fair bit worse. That's why I've been spending so much time at her house. We've been working through it together. It's serious, but it doesn't change the way I feel."

A moment's silence.

"So, you're tying yourself to a woman with a serious illness?" Lucius sought confirmation.

Draco snapped his head in his father's direction. "I'm not _tying myself to her_. I'm marrying her. Why would you make it sound so negative?"

Lucius gave a short laugh, turning to Astoria. "Forgive me, Astoria, but does this blood malediction affect you an awful lot? Does it weaken you, so to speak?"

Astoria stared at the unpleasant man who sat before her. "On occasions, yes."

Lucius mulled this over for a moment, offering a small smile before turning back to his son. "Draco, you do realise that you must have children in order to prevent the end of the Malfoy line? I mean, my deepest apologies, but is this girl even capable of carrying your child?"

Draco's face suddenly started to turn red. He hadn't thought about children, wasn't sure if he even wanted any himself. Whether Astoria could carry children seemed irrelevant to him. He only wanted her. Only needed her. He decided not to respond to his father's comment directly.

"I'm marrying her father, whether you and mother approve or not."

In that moment, Astoria felt incredibly grateful for Draco's words of defiance. They'd talked about his relationship with his parents on several occasions, and she was aware of the issues Draco had with them. However, sometimes, when they did talk about the way things had been and the way things are, she felt as though Draco would put a barrier up, not unlike the way a patronus wards off a dementor. It was clearly a sore subject for him, even as a grown man, and Astoria was under the impression that Draco was and still is afraid of his father. The fact that he was standing up to him to defend their relationship made her fall just that little bit more in love with him.

A long silence settled over the table. Lucius obviously wasn't accustomed to Draco being so strong willed. It was evident that he didn't approve of his son's new-found bravery.

"Over my dead body," he spat suddenly. "You aren't to marry a girl like her."

The venom in his voice caused Astoria to move her chair backwards, away from him. _Over his dead body?_ This was beyond any reaction she'd expected.

Draco saw Astoria retreat from the table in fear or upset, he wasn't sure which. He felt the anger bubbling inside of him instantaneously. "By _a girl like her_ do you mean someone who actually accepts me for who I am?" he said through gritted teeth.

"I _mean_ a girl so weak, and so muggle-loving. Clearly, she is no match for a Malfoy. Myself and your mother have been waiting for this hopeless romance to fizzle out for months. Lord only knows, it appears we'll have to carry on hoping."

Draco snapped.

"You're right father," he shouted. "Astoria is no match for a Malfoy. She's above us. She's above me. But for some reason she loves me. That's not something I'm going to walk away from just because you feel she's _too muggle-loving_."

Astoria suddenly became incredibly apprehensive. The situation was escalating. Draco was losing his temper. She felt as though she should intervene, calm Draco down, but found herself incapable of doing anything but watching the drama unfold.

"Ohh, she _loves you_ ," Lucius mocked his son. "Have the crazy potions stopped making you feel secure, son? You've suddenly decided that what you need in this world more than anything is _love_?"

For a moment, Draco looked across the table at his father with pure hatred in his eyes.

"I don't have to listen to this. _We_ don't have to listen to this." Draco stood abruptly, knocking over the chair in his haste to leave. "Come on, Astoria. It's time we left."

"Draco," his mother spoke up as Astoria stood to leave, suddenly feeling the need to be the voice of reason. "Sit down. Your father is… overreacting."

"No, mother. I'm not a child anymore. I won't be bullied by _him_. And for all you care, I haven't even been taking that medication for months! So maybe I'm not as unstable as you like to think I am! Not so easy to mould as I used to be, either. I lived to please you, father, and it got me absolutely nowhere. It's high time it stopped. This is the day your opinion stops mattering to me."

Draco strode towards the door, his heart beating heavily. He could feel the blood pumping through his veins. Rarely had he felt so angry before. Astoria followed behind him, wishing she was anywhere else right now.

"You're weak, Draco. You and your wife-to-be. You'll go nowhere in life."

Draco turned on his heel sharply. Astoria tried to grab his wrist, to stop him from confronting his father, but Draco snatched his arm away and marched back over to where Lucius was sat.

"Having you for a father didn't exactly get me as far in life as it was supposed to, did it, _dad_?" Draco shouted. "You mock me for appreciating Astoria's love, but maybe you should ask yourself why I feel that way. Let's face it, you never had any to offer me, did you? Pressuring me… hitting me with that wretched cane… letting me take this -" Draco clawed dementedly at his left arm. "- to try and save your ass! I was never good enough for you, was I? All that time I couldn't see that _you_ weren't good enough for _me_. I couldn't have asked for a bigger failure as a father!"

He was so consumed with rage, he didn't even care what he was saying anymore. How dare his father insinuate that Astoria wasn't good enough for him. She was more than enough.

After everything he had to say, all his father could do was lean back in his chair and laugh heartily. Astoria couldn't keep the look of disgust from her face.

"Fuck you!" Draco hissed at his father, turning on his heels once again and storming out of the room.

Astoria looked from Lucius to Narcissa and felt an immense dislike for them beyond anything she'd ever experienced.

"How can you be so downright nasty to your own son?" she shot at them, unable to hold her tongue. She didn't hang around for an answer though, instead leaving the room hastily in search of Draco. She found him outside of the Manor, leaning against a wall, his eyes closed. She approached him with caution.

"Draco..." she said softly.

"Astoria, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." He sounded distraught. He turned suddenly and punched the wall. Blood started seeping out of the graze on his knuckles almost immediately.

"Hey. Hey! It's ok," Astoria tried to soothe him, putting an arm around him and taking his hand, inspecting the damage he'd done to himself.

"Let's leave. Now. I don't want to stay here for another moment." Draco was still consumed with anger.

"Of course, let's go back to mine."

"The garden. Let's apparate to the garden. I don't want your parents seeing me like this," he waved the arm with the damaged hand, small specks of blood falling to the floor. "They already think badly of me, they can't know how angry I can get."

Once they'd arrived in the garden, Draco hurried towards the garden bench behind the rose bush, knowing it was fairly hidden from sight. He sat down and took deep breaths, slowly allowing his anger to subside. Draco was unsure whether he felt proud of himself for standing up to his father or stupid because he'd surely live to regret it.

Astoria disappeared for a few minutes, before heading back to the garden to find Draco. He watched as she padded barefoot across the lawn. She sat down next to him on the bench, taking his hand gently in hers and casting a healing charm on his bleeding knuckles. She cleaned them carefully before rubbing some sort of cream into them. Draco didn't know what it was but he watched her applying it in silence.

"There," she said, satisfied with her own nursing skills.

"Thanks," he said quietly, staring at his hands which now lay in his lap.

Now, in the tranquility of the garden, Astoria could hear the words Draco had spoken about his father hitting him echoing around her head. She wasn't able to forget what she'd heard; ignore it as if he'd never brought it up.

"Draco... back in the Manor... you said... did your father really used to hit you?"

Draco closed his eyes slowly, massaging his head with his hand. Yet another thing he'd never confessed to Astoria. How was he going to get out of this conversation? He felt Astoria place a hand encouragingly on his back, as she did from time to time when they talked about serous matters. Still, he didn't respond. Instead, he just stared ahead blankly. He felt clammy and uncomfortable. He pulled at the neckline of his robes.

Taking his lack of response to mean yes, Astoria gave a small, sorrowful moan. "Draco..." she said in a hushed voice. "I knew things were bad between the two of you but... your father abused you."

"Don't," Draco snapped. He turned away from her. "Don't say that. It - it wasn't that often, it... it doesn't matter." He fell silent. He didn't know what to say.

"It does matter. Why didn't you tell me?" Astoria pressed him gently.

"I didn't want to. It's just one thing after another with me, isn't it? Poor Draco, Voldemort's slave. Poor Draco nearly died in a fire. Poor Draco relying on medication to get through the day. Poor Draco used to get hit by his own father. There needed to be an end point, Astoria, else I'd just suffocate you. I don't want you to know every bad thing that's ever happened to me. The list is endless, it's boring, and some things are best left in the past."

"You can tell me anything, you know that."

"I do know that, and I appreciate that. But there are parts of my life I'd rather forget, Astoria. You make me happy, happier than I've ever been. I don't want to keep raking up the past. Surely you understand that?"

Eventually, Astoria nodded slowly. "Ok. Ok, I'll drop it. But if you ever want to - "

"Talk. I know. Thanks."

Draco and Astoria sat for a long while in the garden. There was a heaviness in Draco's shoulders. Astoria glanced at him apprehensively out of the corner of her eye. She wanted to break the silence, but after his latest revelation, wasn't sure what to say. More than anything, she just wished she could stop him from hurting. Slowly, she leaned in towards him, resting her head on his shoulder. In response, he rested his newly healed hand on her leg and they sat listening to the sound of the birds singing in the trees.

After almost twenty minutes, Draco spoke. "Let's go inside. We have some planning to do."

Astoria looked at him inquisitively.

"The wedding. I want to set a date."


	8. Chapter 8

For the rest of the day, Astoria and Draco holed themselves away in her room. No one disturbed them, not once.

Once Draco had calmed down he became more chatty, as he always did when the two of them were alone. They talked for hours about anything and everything, until the topic of conversation came around to the wedding. They'd already picked a date: July 16th.

It was Draco's idea. The very day was a little over three months away, and Astoria thought the idea was completely crazy. Three months didn't seem anywhere near long enough to plan a wedding.

"Why so soon?" she'd asked him.

"Why not so soon?" Draco had responded. "We know what we want, Astoria, what's the point in waiting?"

That was Draco: impatient as ever. Astoria suspected his urgency had something to do with her predicted life expectancy. Even through her own fear, she could tell that the news had left him badly shaken. She guessed that the sudden rush to get hitched was his way of coping. Eventually she had agreed on his suggested date. She loved the idea of a summer wedding and she didn't much fancy waiting more than a year, anyway.

"July 16th is it!" she'd said brightly, beaming at her husband-to-be.

By the time dusk fell, they were lying on Astoria's bed discussing their wedding-related thoughts.

"Can we keep it small?" Draco asked, suddenly sounding concerned. "I know Sacred Twenty-Eight weddings are supposed to be grand occasions but… I don't much like the idea of it to be honest. I'd rather it was small and... distinctively free of press."

Astoria smiled. With each passing day, Draco proved that he was less and less like his stereotype.

"Of course," she said gently. "I don't want a big ceremony either." She rolled over so that she was lead on her tummy, face propped up on her hands, watching Draco carefully. "The important thing is that we'll be saying our vows. Not how many hundreds of people we can invite and which photographs we'll put in the Prophet."

"I don't want any pictures in the Prophet," Draco said abruptly. "It's too personal."

Astoria sensed that he was starting to feel a little tense about the whole thing. "That's fine. No press photos." She reached out and touched his hand momentarily. "I want photos for us though."

"Of course," Draco agreed. "We'll just have to find a trustworthy photographer that won't sell them, which may prove... difficult."

After a long silence, "How do you picture it then?" Draco asked. "Your wedding? I know this is the kind of thing you witches think about when you're growing up."

Astoria snorted with laughter. "I assure you it's not. What made you think that?"

Draco frowned in confusion. Perhaps that was just Pansy, then. Unsurprisingly, she was already married to a rich pureblood; an American chap. Draco had heard all about it through the grape vine.

"Don't tell me - Pansy?" Astoria asked.

"I think she'd chosen the song for our first dance by the time we went to the Yule Ball together."

Astoria laughed. "We're not all as wannabe pureblood princess as Pansy."

"Well, thank Merlin for that." Draco let out a dramatic sigh of relief, as Astoria continued to giggle. "Seriously though, think about it now, at least. I want to know how you picture it."

Noticing that Draco sounded genuinely interested, Astoria stopped laughing and took a few minutes to think about what she would really consider her 'dream wedding'.

"Ok…" Astoria shifted onto her side, leaning on her arm. Draco mirrored her, his eyes meeting hers, interested to hear what she had to say. "I picture the wedding outside in the sunshine. In a big garden somewhere, maybe one of the hotels or mansions. Somewhere a bit brighter than your place. I picture a small group of guests gathered around and a carpet laid down as the aisle and… a big arch with lots of beautiful flowers. And peacocks. Peacocks walking around."

Draco closed his eyes, a smile playing on his lips.

"I'm wearing a white lace dress. Daphne's my bridesmaid, dressed in light green or maybe purple, I'm not sure. You're wearing a suit, not dress robes. Shirt, trousers, jacket, tie to match the bridesmaid's dress. We've written our own vows because no existing ones could possibly explain the way we feel about each other."

Draco's smile broadened at that.

"And then, it gets a bit more vague… I don't know. Dinner. Some kind of party, I imagine. Our first dance that's not really our first dance because that was the night we met and that was... probably not something we can recreate in front of family members!"

Draco chuckled, opening his eyes. "You can have it all, Astoria. Whatever you want, I'll make it happen."

She knew he was completely serious. She could see it in his eyes. "How..?"

"Family money," Draco said. "I already have plenty in my vault, and I can get a whole load more. I think it's the least my parents owe me. Just because we want a small wedding doesn't mean it can't be special. We're only going to have one, after all."

Astoria smiled. "Even the peacocks?"

"Even the peacocks."

Draco watched Astoria carefully for a moment, trying to sense whether she was truly happy. He hoped she was. He was. When it was just the two of them. He couldn't help but think back to the blazing row he'd had with his father earlier that day. "When you pictured the wedding… did you see my parents there?" he asked Astoria quietly.

Astoria stared at him for a moment, biting her lip, not sure whether he wanted the honest answer. She thought about it for a moment before shaking her head slowly.

Draco closed his eyes and nodded. "Me neither."

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Astoria and Draco's plans starting falling into place. The date was official and so was the location. Brookson Manor on the edge of the South Downs was where they were set to exchange vows.

Astoria's family had been exasperated at their eagerness to set the date so early, but with their minds clearly made up, they hadn't really bothered trying to dissuade them. They would, of course, be in attendance no matter what.

Astoria had drawn up the guest list. Forcing names out of Draco had proven incredibly difficult - it was almost as if he'd be perfectly happy if there were no guests at all.

Draco's parents were getting an invite of course, no matter how unlikely it was for them to turn up. When Astoria pushed Draco to invite friends, he'd eventually settled on Zabini, Pucey and Warrington.

"Anyone else?" Astoria had said, tapping her quill. "Come on Draco, you've only invited five people…"

Draco had rolled his eyes. "Fine, they can bring plus ones," he'd said, sighing. "But they have to give us their names in advance so we can approve them."

In the end, he'd named one or two friends of the family who he wouldn't mind being in attendance, too. The few that still wanted anything to do with them, anyway. Undeniably, this was more to please his parents than anything else. Astoria had chosen some of her friends and family members, giving the list a grand total of 51 guests, including Draco's half-hearted plus ones. A typical Sacred Twenty-Eight wedding would have three times as many guests at the very least.

Astoria had made the mistake of asking Draco who he was having as best man.

"I'm not having one," he'd replied moodily. "I'll be my own best man."

Astoria had cocked an eyebrow, asking him if he was serious.

"Of course I'm serious. Who do you suggest I have?"

In the moments that followed, Astoria couldn't name a single person close enough to Draco to be his best man which was awkward to say the least. She'd quickly changed the subject.

* * *

It was now June 25th and just three weeks to go until Draco and Astoria's big day. Although Astoria was now taking a higher dosage of medication in an attempt to control her condition, she was currently lying in bed feeling completely exhausted. She hadn't changed out of her pyjamas for two days.

As much as Daphne still tried desperately to stick her nose in, Draco had stood his ground and had been taking care of Astoria, keeping a close eye on her.

After making Astoria some soup, Draco headed up to her room, closing the door behind him.

"Your sister is doing my head in," he told her, waiting for her to sit up before passing her a tray with her bowl of soup.

"Thank you. And what's she done now?" Astoria groaned, dipping her spoon into the soup and blowing on it to cool it down.

Draco settled himself in the chair beside Astoria's bed. "She's just on my case every hour of every day. She's so tiring. The sooner we move out of here, the better."

Astoria, in the middle of raising a spoon to her mouth, stopped. "Move out…?" she said, intrigued. Only then did it dawn on her that her and Draco hadn't discussed where they were going to live.

"Yes. We'll move in to the Manor," Draco said, as thought it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"With your parents? Are you joking?"

"No, I'm not joking. And no, not with my parents. They can move out, into one of our smaller properties. It was decided years ago that the Manor would become mine once I got married."

Astoria sipped a spoonful of soup, mulling the idea over in her head.

"That probably only applied when they assumed you'd marry someone they like," she joked.

"No. That still applies. The contract didn't stipulate that they had to approve my wife before marriage. We're getting the Manor." Draco's tone was serious. Clearly, he knew what he wanted.

"You have a contract with your own family?" Astoria asked, astounded.

"Yes, luckily for me after what happened the other month. I doubt father would give me anything willingly, after what I said."

Draco and Lucius had spoke a couple of times since the argument, but things were even more strained than usual. Draco had been pleasantly surprised when his parents had RSVPd 'attending' for the wedding.

Astoria wasn't sure how she felt about moving into Malfoy Manor. As much as she loved Draco, she didn't feel entirely comfortable living somewhere where Voldemort had once lived. Draco, however, seemed to have his mind made up and she wasn't sure that arguing with him over it was something she was up to.

"We can be happy there, Astoria," Draco said suddenly, seeming to read her mind. "I know that what I told you... well I know my current memories of the place aren't exactly pleasant. But if we could have the house, just the two of us, maybe that would change. At least, I'd like to try. If it turns out that we can't find happiness there, I will buy us somewhere of our own."

Astoria found herself unable to disregard Draco's hope of turning his childhood home back into a place where he could feel happy. She couldn't take that away from him.

"Ok, let's try," she said quietly, reaching out and taking his hand. "I'll let you tell your parents though."

Draco let out a humourless laugh. "Perhaps I should brew some Felix Felicis for that one."

* * *

Come July 9th, arrangements for Draco and Astoria acquiring Malfoy Manor had been made. Draco had visited his parents the day after his declaration of his intentions. His father hadn't taken it well - had tried to worm his way out of signing the Manor away to Draco, but Draco was having none of it. The contract was legally binding. His father had no choice in the matter, and when he pointed out as much his mother had to agree.

That same evening, Draco took Astoria back to the same spot where he'd asked her to marry him; his final romantic gesture before their wedding day. They lay atop the very same hill, staring up at the cloudless sky. It was incredibly peaceful. Although it was approaching 10pm, the air was still warm. They watched the stars twinkling above them.

"You're named after a constellation, aren't you?" Astoria asked.

Draco nodded. "I am indeed."

"In exactly one week's time I'm going to be married to my shining star," Astoria said.

Draco snorted with laughter. "Your shining star?" he repeated skeptically.

"Too much?" Astoria asked, smiling because she knew she sounded stupid.

"Perhaps a little," Draco said. They both laughed at Astoria's words for a minute before falling silent. Staring up into darkness, it was moments like these that Draco knew he would cherish forever; being in her presence and laughing with her. "When we met, did you know?" he asked.

"Know what?"

"That we'd end up getting married."

"Hardly! I don't do divination."

"I knew," Draco said seriously. Astoria looked at him. "At least, I knew you were different. That night, after we... even before that. When you kissed me. It just felt - I can't explain. It just felt different."

Astoria smiled. "Do you know why I liked you? Why I wouldn't take no for an answer?"

"No," Draco replied hoarsely. His eyes met hers.

"Because I saw good in you. Good that I knew you couldn't see in yourself."

Draco blinked. He didn't know what to say.

"If anything, I'm a good judge of character, I'd say. In over a year, you've done nothing but prove me right. All the things people say about you... they're wrong. You know that, right?"

Eventually Draco spoke. "I don't know whether they're wrong. I just think you bring out the best in me."

Astoria smiled at him and he smiled back. "I love your smile," she said. "You should wear it more often."

"Just you wait until the sixteenth. It'll be a permanent fixture for one day only."

* * *

 **Author's notes:** _just a short line to say thank you so much to everyone who has left a review, you've all been so kind! Draco and Astoria's backstory means so much to me and I just wanted to see these characters and their heartbreaking story done justice. I hope it's living up to your expectations, I hope you feel it's realistic and I hope you're enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it._


	9. Chapter 9

Draco and Astoria's wedding day ran as smoothly as they could have hoped for. Much to Astoria's delight, Draco had stood true to his word and given her everything as she'd described it to him - a task which he'd taken most seriously. He gave her limitless amounts of gold to find her dream dress, he'd organised the arch of flowers and the peacocks, and he'd spent hours working hard to write his own vows. Though he wasn't great at putting his feelings into words, particularly in front of groups of people, he'd done her proud. His vows had brought a tear to her eye.

Draco hadn't done all the work, of course. Astoria had organised the flowers and the wedding favours and had even helped Draco find a suit. They'd also enjoyed a long session of food and wine tasting together. Of course, Draco had selected two of the most expensive wines and the finest of foods.

In the run up to the big day, Astoria had spent a lot of time worrying that she would wake up sick on the sixteenth. Luckily, she hadn't. When she'd walked down the aisle, Draco had felt sick himself. Sick with nerves. She'd looked beautiful and Daphne's 'you know she's too good for you' had echoed in his head. She _was_ too good for him, but he had to at least try to be good enough for her.

Lucius and Narcissa had been in attendance and had remained surprisingly well behaved for the duration of the ceremony and party. Though Lucius hadn't exactly looked thrilled, Draco appreciated that he'd managed to be civil at the very least.

As time passed and with the party in full swing, Draco felt himself starting to relaxing. He and Astoria enjoyed a few drinks with their families and friends, and they laughed a lot. As they danced, Astoria noticed that Draco seemed happier than she'd ever seen him. Throughout the evening, they were approached by guests wanting to wish them well for the future - of course, they accepted gracefully.

They arrived in Italy for their honeymoon via portkey. Draco had decided to purchase a small, secluded Tuscan villa as a wedding gift to Astoria. Standing in the gardens, Astoria stared at the villa in wonderment.

"It's yours," Draco said simply, watching her with amusement.

"What do you mean?" Astoria asked, slipping off her heels and making her way over to the edge of the pool.

"I bought it for you," Draco said, as though he was referring to something as insignificant as a chocolate bar. He followed her over to the water's edge.

Astoria's hands flew to cover her mouth in shock. "Are you serious!?" Draco only nodded in response.

They looked around the villa quickly before settling down on the edge of the pool. Astoria hitched up her dress and Draco rolled up his trousers, their legs dangling in the water, a bottle of champagne lying between them. They were already a little drunk, but continued drinking nonetheless.

"To us," Astoria said, raising her glass.

"To us," Draco repeated, clinking his glass with his wife's.

Draco watched Astoria as she looked out across the rolling hills. She was glowing. His eyes darted to the wedding band around her finger and he could hardly believe she was his.

"I really did get lucky, didn't I?" he said.

Astoria looked around at him. "Not half as lucky as I did."

Draco laughed softly. "Your kindness knows no bounds, Astoria." He took her hand and held it in his lap, joining her in looking out across the hills. "You've changed my life, you know that?"

"I can see how far you've come since the day we first met." She reached up and touched his face lightly with her fingers. "I'm so proud to call you my husband, Draco."

Draco smiled. He'd done a lot of that today. Astoria smiled back.

After finishing the bottle of champagne, they stripped off to their underwear and dived into the water, the stars shining above them. There, they splashed around for a while, laughing and cavorting. Astoria had never felt happiness like it in her life. After sharing a few heated kisses against the edge of the pool, Astoria and Draco climbed out of the pool and headed for the bedroom where they made their marriage official, making love into the early hours of the morning before falling asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

Over the next month, Draco and Astoria settled happily into their life as newly weds. After returning from their honeymoon, they'd moved into Malfoy Manor as had been arranged and the place was slowly beginning to feel like home for Astoria. Although she'd had plenty of reservations, she was starting to believe that her and Draco could indeed be happy there.

However, on days she'd spend alone in the Manor, its mere vastness made her think; wonder why they needed such a large house when it was just the two of them. She began thinking about starting a family with Draco an awful lot - not because of what Lucius had said back when he'd found out they were engaged, but because she genuinely felt it would be good for her and Draco.

When it first crossed her mind, she pushed the idea to the back of her head; she was sick after all, there was surely a great chance she wouldn't be able to cope with childbirth. But at the same time, she couldn't stop thinking about what Draco had said of his loneliness. Although it was many years away, she couldn't help feeling guilty that she would one day leave him alone again. Having a child - a family - would save him from the inevitable loneliness he would face once she was gone.

For days and days, Astoria sat alone in the Manor and contemplated how best to broach the subject with Draco. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to have his baby. There wasn't a single doubt in her mind that the unconditional love a child was said to bring you would be good for him. Good for both of them. While she was sure Draco wouldn't take to the idea straight away, what with the risks involved, she felt fairly confident that he'd like the idea of having a child: something - someone - that was a part of both of them.

August merged into September and after several weeks of toying with the idea, Astoria decided to talk to Draco about everything that had been playing on her mind. One evening, he returned home from dealing with some business to find Astoria waiting for him in the dining room with dinner and a bottle of wine.

"Did you cook? What's the special occasion?" he jested, taking off his cloak and striding across the room. He kissed Astoria on top of the head before sitting himself down and uncorking the bottle of wine.

"No special occasion," Astoria said, smiling. "Just fancied doing something nice, since you usually sort food and you were busy today."

Draco poured them each a glass of wine. "Well, thank you." He placed down the bottle and raised his glass to his lips.

"Stressful day?" Astoria asked, taking some bread and dipping it into the olive oil.

"Not stressful," Draco said, twirling his spaghetti around his fork. "I'm just tired, is all. I didn't sleep much last night."

"Oh?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Bad dream. You don't want to know."

"I thought they'd stopped, Draco?"

"On the most part. I still get the odd one from time to time, although they're not really about my past anymore. They're about..." he cleared his throat. "It doesn't matter. I don't want to talk about it. Not now."

"They're about me, aren't they?" Astoria asked quietly, eyeing him with concern.

"Astoria, now is not the time. Let's just enjoy this lovely meal you've prepared and we can discuss it when necessary." His voice was tense. A silence fell between them.

After a while, Astoria decided to do something incredibly brave.

"I... I've been doing a lot of thinking just lately," she confessed.

"Oh, yeah?" Draco emptied his wine glass before pouring a second. He looked across the table at Astoria and noticed that she seemed rather anxious. "You don't like it here, do you? In the Manor? You want to leave." He was jumping to conclusions.

"What? No... no, no. It's nothing like that," she said dismissively. Draco visibly relaxed."I was actually thinking that, since we have so much space, I... well, I thought it might be nice to maybe think about... starting a family."

Draco's fork slipped from his hand and hit his plate with a clatter. He looked at Astoria across the table, unable to believe what he'd just heard. "A family? As in have a baby?"

"Well, yes," Astoria said quietly. "It just felt like - it feels like the natural next step..."

"I'm sorry, Astoria, but the idea is entirely ridiculous. Me with my awful past and my awful role models, you with your illness - we're hardly fit to be parents, are we?"

Astoria opened her mouth to retaliate, hurt by her husband's words. "I happen to think we'd make great parents - you in particular, actually."

"I - Astoria, I don't know what to say, other than we are clearly not going to agree, here." Draco sounded exasperated. He pushed his half empty plate of food away from him, a thought occurring to him. "Not to mention the fact that you are seriously ill. Carrying a child... having a baby... there's no way your body could cope with the strain. I won't let you go through that. I'm not having you give birth and then die on me, Astoria!" His voice was rising with distress.

"Wait - don't fly off the handle. Listen to me. We can look into it. We can talk to someone, a specialist. Get a medical opinion on whether I could carry a child or - "

"No, Astoria. Even if there's the smallest chance it could... no!" He was shouting now. "Imagine we had a child and - and imagine if I lost you and I had to raise a child on my own. Salazar, it doesn't even bear thinking about! Have you lost your mind?"

His anger upset Astoria deeply. They'd had disagreements before but she'd never seen him lose his temper like this. Not with her. He rose from his seat and made to leave the room.

"Draco, please," she said desperately.

He wasn't moving an inch, though. "Conversation closed, Astoria," and with that, he left her sitting at the table alone.

Tears fell silently down Astoria's cheeks. She wiped them away furiously. She'd known Draco wouldn't agree immediately and insist on heading to bed to start trying for a baby at once, but she hadn't been expecting that. She was still confident he'd come round though - she'd leave him a while to cool down and then find him. Try to explain things the way she saw them.

Almost an hour passed before Astoria dared venture upstairs. She found Draco lying on their bed, fully clothed, staring up at the ceiling. "Is it safe to come in?" she asked timidly.

Draco nodded, not looking at her. She approached the bed slowly and lay down beside him.

"Can I just at least -"

"I'm sorry for -"

They spoke over each other. "You first," Draco offered.

Astoria sighed deeply. "Can I please just... will you let me explain myself? My thought pattern? That's not too much to ask, is it?"

Draco looked at his wife. "Have you been crying?" A wave of guilt washed over him.

"You know me," Astoria said, shrugging. "Any small thing'll set me off." She tried to smile.

Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath before holding his arm out for a hug. She accepted his offer. "That wasn't a small thing," Draco said. "I shouldn't have shouted at you like that. I'm sorry." He stroked her hair lovingly.

"Can we have a reasonable conversation about it then, please?" Astoria asked calmly.

"Yes," he agreed.

"The last few weeks here, I've had a lot of time to myself, a lot of time to think. And the things you said about being alone, Draco, about loneliness... they've been really hard for me to shake off. I've been thinking about when the day will come that I leave you. I know it's stupid, we only just got married. But the thought of you being on your own scares me a lot more than... the thought of dying. I've noticed how much you've come to depend on me, how happy you are that we have each other. It just... it breaks my heart that one day, I'll have to leave you."

Astoria swallowed hard, trying so desperately not to cry again. Although hearing Astoria speak these words was incredibly emotional for Draco, he remained quiet, taking in everything she had to say.

"The size of this house is what got me thinking about having a family of our own. It hadn't crossed my mind as a serious consideration before, even when your dad brought it up, but... I don't know, it just did one day. And the thought of it... the thought of having a baby with you, of making something so precious, just the two of us... it fills my heart with joy, Draco. Obviously, you don't feel quite the same way..."

Draco thought about it for a moment. He hadn't bothered to do that before; he'd just lost his temper and refused to see any positives.

"Draco, if I wasn't sick. If I wasn't cursed... would you _want_ to have a child? Answer me honestly."

There was a long silence. "I don't know. I can't say it's something I've thought about before, Astoria. I guess maybe, yeah. But it's not just your illness that concerns me. It's the fact that... well, I wouldn't be much of a father, would I? How could I be? How would a child turn out if it had me as a dad?"

Astoria sat up, looking him in the eye. "Draco, you'd be an amazing dad," she said fiercely. "Look how amazing you are with me when I'm feeling unwell. I've never felt so well looked after. Forget how awful your own father has been to you. You're not _him_ , you're _you_. I genuinely think you'd be an incredible father."

Draco observed her, blinking several times. "You honestly mean that?"

"Yes," Astoria said firmly.

"Even if I was willing to try, it doesn't solve the other problems though. Ok, maybe, just maybe I could make a good job of parenting with you alongside me. But what if I did lose you? What if having a baby... what if it were the last thing you ever did? I'd be a single father with a new born baby and... Astoria, you must realise that I wouldn't be able to cope with that. I wouldn't be able to cope without you. I'd fall apart."

"I told you, we'll seek medical advice. Ask how likely it is that my body would be able to cope. All I know right now is that I'm not going to live into old age, Draco. I want you to have someone when I'm gone. Someone to love. Someone who loves you."

Another silence. Any anger Draco had felt earlier had been replaced with gratitude. He couldn't quite believe that Astoria was willing to put herself through more pain just so he wouldn't end up alone when she was gone. He was deeply moved by this.

"I can't ask that of you, Astoria. You can't put yourself through that for my sake."

"It's not just for your sake though. It's one of many reasons I want to have a baby. There's no greater bond, Draco. Marriage is great, but a baby... just imagine us bringing a life into this world. Together. Even the thought of it amazes me. I want us to have that connection. I want to be a mum and I want to make you a dad. It would be the making of us, I know it would."

Draco looked away from Astoria. He couldn't take the way she was looking at him so expectantly. He needed to think.

"Can you... would you mind giving me a moment? I need some time alone, to think."

"Of course," Astoria said understandingly. She got off of the bed and made her way to the door. Draco was still lying down, his back to her. "Draco, if you decide it's not what you want, I'll understand. All I ask is that you consider it properly."

Now alone, Draco became lost in his own thoughts. He couldn't stop himself thinking up scenarios in his head. While most of them were bad (he'd always been a bit of a pessimist) some of them were good - great, even. The image of he and Astoria holding a baby - their baby - for the first time brought a smile to his face. He thought of the three of them strolling through fields together, of Astoria giving the child a bath before he read him or her a bedtime story. He found himself thinking that he wouldn't mind whether it was a boy or a girl; he'd just want it to experience the kind of happiness he never had.

For a short while, Draco found himself feeling happy at the prospect of starting a family with the woman he loved. But, of course, there was the major risk of losing Astoria for good, if not as soon as the baby was born, then a lot sooner than had been predicted at the beginning of the year. He didn't need a specialist to explain that pregnancy would be dangerous for her - he already knew it would be. The thought of becoming a parent terrified him. Of course, he could give it his best shot with Astoria by his side but without her... the mere thought of bringing up a child alone was overwhelming.

However, Astoria's reasons for wanting a baby had left Draco feeling as though she loved him more wholly than he ever could have imagined. This made him think of the love Astoria would have to offer their child, should they have one. She'd said she thought parenting could be the making of them. She'd sounded so hopeful. If she wanted them to have a baby so desperately, who was he to stand in her way?

"Astoria," he called, hoping she was somewhere close by. "Astoria!"

After a minute or so, Astoria appeared in the door way. She crossed the room and perched herself on the edge of the bed, unable to take her eyes off Draco, wondering what he was about to say. He got up, seated himself next to her and took her hands in his.

First, to clear up a concern. "Are you sure that none of this was brought on by what my father said? Because what he said was complete shit. If the Malfoy name dies with me, then so be it."

"Draco, it's not about what Lucius said or what Lucius wants. I don't want a baby to keep up pureblood traditions. I want a baby for the reasons I just explained. And please forgive me, but your father's opinion means absolutely nothing to me."

Draco shook his head. "I'm pleased about that." He paused. "Astoria what you said... your reasons behind wanting a baby..." Looking into her eyes, he was struggling to find the right words. "I can't believe that... that you could love me so much that you'd be willing to put yourself through pain to give me - us - a child."

"Well, you'd better believe it. I'd do anything for you, Draco Malfoy. I value your happiness above anything else."

"You shouldn't. You should always put yourself first, Astoria. But I can see how much you want us to have a child together. Not just for me, but for you, too."

Astoria nodded. "It means the world to me," she whispered. "I just didn't realise it until a few weeks ago."

Draco looked deep into her eyes. "I did a lot of thinking in the last half an hour," he told her. "I've thought about losing you. This conversation has forced me to see your... losing you... more definitively than I ever have before. To face up to the fact that it's going to happen one day. I've always tried to push it to the back of my mind before. It makes it more... bearable. As though if I don't think about it, it won't happen."

Astoria squeezed his hand.

"I've also thought about us. Me, you and - and a baby. As a family. I can't deny that the thought of it, Astoria, it makes me happy. The thought of you holding a child that we made together... what I'm trying to say is, let's try. If you're sure that you're willing to take the risk - it is your decision, not mine - if you're willing then..."

"I am."

"Then let's do it. Let's try for a baby."

"Oh, Draco." Astoria flung her arms around Draco's neck and hugged him tightly. "Thank you!"

Draco hugged her back. "No, Astoria, thank you. Thank you for making me see that we can do great things together."


	10. Chapter 10

That night, Draco and Astoria tried for the very first time without Astoria taking pregnancy protection potion. Draco was struggling; it was difficult to relax when he knew that the end result could bring Astoria harm. In the darkness, Astoria still noticed that Draco was finding it difficult.

"Hey" she whispered softly. When he ignored her, she whispered it again.

Understanding full well that he wasn't living up to expectations, Draco gave up and lay down on the bed beside Astoria. He felt frustrated and humiliated. He rolled over so he was facing away from her. She placed her hand gently on his shoulder.

"Draco, it's ok." She spoke softly.

"It's not ok," he said sharply. "How can we have a baby if I can't even - " He made a low, angry noise.

"Look, we're rushing into things." She didn't appreciate talking to the back of his head, but right now it would have to do. "We only just decided that having a baby would be a good thing for us, what, a few hours ago? Maybe we should get used to the idea first."

Silence.

"Ok, if you're going to ignore me, I'm going to go to sleep." Astoria rolled over and turned her back on her husband. As much as she loved Draco, she couldn't stand it when he acted like a sulky child the second things didn't go his way. She completely understood why he hadn't found it easy; deciding to try for a baby was a big thing - in their case, it was a huge thing. She knew he'd have had thoughts of her struggling through pregnancy in the back of his mind. But if they were serious about trying, that was something he was going to have to deal with.

She felt Draco fidgeting in bed beside her.

"Goodnight, Astoria," he mumbled.

"Goodnight, Draco" she whispered back.

* * *

The next morning, Draco woke up with a brilliant idea.

"Let's go to Italy," he said to Astoria as she arrived downstairs for breakfast. "Let's go to the villa. Stay there while we... try. "

Astoria looked at him doubtfully. "Where did this come from?"

"I don't know. We'll both be more relaxed there. No-one around to interrupt or ask questions."

Astoria glanced around the room. "Draco, we live here alone. No-one's interrupting or asking questions."

"But they could! Your mother could appear in that fire place at any moment!" he said dramatically, pointing to the nearby grate. "Or Daphne!" He shuddered at the thought.

Astoria struggled to stifle a laugh. "You're being ridiculous. No-one _ever_ comes here without tell us first."

"Ok, maybe I'm being a bit extreme. But I still like the idea. We'll get to spend some quality time together, no bother from anyone... Astoria, trying for a baby is a big deal. I want to do this properly. I want it to be special."

"You're serious, aren't you?" She looked up at Draco carefully.

"Of course. Aren't I always?" He looked right back at her.

"Ok," Astoria said breathlessly. "Let's do it. Let's go to the villa for a while... see how it goes."

* * *

A week later, Astoria and Draco had been at the villa in Italy for several days and, true to his word, Draco was a lot more relaxed there. They'd upped and left without really giving their families any warning or explanation, but that was probably for the best. Astoria couldn't imagine that her family would be too thrilled at the thought of her trying to get pregnant.

Lounging near the pool, Draco had is nose in a book; it'd taken Astoria a while to realise just how much of a bookworm Draco actually was.

"You didn't read this much at school, did you?" she'd asked him one day. The teenage Draco she had vague memories of definitely thought himself too cool to be reading books all the time.

"I did actually," he'd surprised her by answering. "At night. The other boys used to laugh at me but I was the one having the last laugh. I have more brain cells than the bunch of them put together."

Astoria wasn't much of a reader. She preferred magazines to books, though she enjoyed a good novel from time to time, too.

As time passed, Astoria had to admit it hadn't been a terrible idea of Draco's, coming to Italy. She hadn't been over enamoured to begin with, but she was certainly settling into life at the villa. It was nearing the end of September now, and the sun still shone most days. Astoria liked being in the sun a lot more than Draco did - her skin turned a lovely, sun-kissed shade of brown fairly easily; quite the opposite of her husband, who with his pale complexion struggled to deal with temperatures over fifteen degrees celsius.

Sometimes, the two of them would go exploring during the day, just for a few hours. They would stroll through vineyards and stumble across tiny villages. Most of the time, they would just stay at the villa and enjoy each other's company. Unfortunately, even in Italy, Astoria couldn't escape her bad days; although Astoria's potion dosages had been raised, she still struggled to keep her symptoms under control for a couple of days a month, sometimes more. Draco was becoming more accustomed to her bad days now - he knew exactly what to do and how to make her feel comfortable. The best thing for Astoria was that, on the good days, Draco would act as though her bad days hadn't even happened. She knew how hard that must be for him.

"It's going to be harder when you're pregnant, isn't it?" he mused one day, over lunch. "When you have a bad day."

"I would imagine so," Astoria said truthfully.

"Does it scare you?" he asked.

"A bit. But there's no doubt in my mind that it'll be worth it."

Draco offered a small, sad smile. "I hope so."

* * *

As September rolled into October, grey clouds made frequent appearances in the sky and rain started falling almost daily. With the days and weeks ticking by, it wasn't only the weather's mood that took a turn for the worst, but Draco's too. He and Astoria were trying every day that she was able, sometimes more than once a day, but to no avail. So far, Astoria had done three tests; every time, the potion had turned purple - negative.

With November drawing nearer, Draco grew more and more frustrated.

"It's me, isn't it?" he asked aloud one day, after Astoria's fifth test. Astoria could detect the frustration in his voice. She knew she had to tread carefully.

Astoria raised an eyebrow. "I think we both know very well that if we have any trouble conceiving, it's going to be me that has the problem, not you."

"What do you mean, _if_? We are having trouble, Astoria, we've been trying for weeks! It's like - I don't know, it's like we're cursed or something!"

Astoria's face fell. Draco instantly realised the foolishness of his words.

"I'm - I'm sorry. Bad choice of words."

"You can say that again." Astoria glared at her husband for a moment, her arms folded. An awkward silence filled the room. She signed heavily. "Draco, these things take time. You can't just expect me to be pregnant the moment we decide to start a family. You sulking and getting all self pitying over the situation isn't going to improve matters, is it? And saying 'oh, the problem's me', how do you think that makes me feel? I know full well that _I'm_ the reason we're struggling here, and so do you."

Draco took on board what Astoria had to say. She was completely right: he was being selfish. And thoughtless. He could hex himself.

"I'm really sorry," he said sincerely. Astoria was now staring at the floor; he made his way over to her, reaching out and gently raising her head with a finger so that her gaze met his. "You're right, I am feeling sorry for myself and I'm being stupid. We're in this together and I'm acting like - anyway look, I'll relax. I'll stop stressing out over it. If it happens, it happens. I guess I just... the other month, I saw how much us having a baby means to you and... I don't know. I suppose I'm pretty attached to the idea now, as well."

Astoria couldn't help but smile. "I'm really glad you feel that way... but you really do need to relax. You're so intense sometimes."

"I know." Draco nodded understandingly. "I promise I'll stop getting so worked up about it."

"Good. Thank you."

"I'm sorry... what I said about being cursed, it was - "

"Forget about it," she said quietly.

Draco wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "Me and my big mouth," he scorned himself.

Astoria smiled against his chest. While Draco did sometimes say things without thinking in the heat of the moment, she could never stay angry with him; she loved him far too much and life was far too short to waste time being angry with the people you love.

* * *

Time passed quickly and before Draco and Astoria knew it, December had arrived, bringing with it brief flurries of snow. They'd been at the villa for three months now, and hadn't seen either of their families in as long.

"Perhaps we should go into one of the villages and get a Christmas tree," Draco suggested, as he gazed out of the window one day.

It suddenly dawned on Astoria that her husband had no intentions of returning to England for the festive period. She had other plans.

"Draco, we're going home for Christmas," she said gently. It wasn't a question.

Draco looked around at her. "Oh. You want to go back for Christmas?" He sounded disappointed.

Astoria crossed the room, placing her hand on the small of his back when she reached him. "Wasn't that always the plan?"

"I don't know, I guess I didn't think it would... I didn't think we'd still be here in December at all. But since we are, I presumed we'd just stay."

Astoria shook her head slowly. "Draco, if I do manage to get pregnant - I know this isn't what you want to hear but, if we have a child, there's a small chance this could be my last Christmas."

Draco frowned deeply at this. He hadn't thought of it like that. Or rather, he'd fought to tell himself that weren't the case.

"No matter how small the chance, I'd like us to spend this Christmas with my family, rather than just the two of us. I know it's our first one as husband and wife but... I hope you understand."

"I do," Draco said. He could hardly argue against it could he. "Just let me know when you want to head back and I'll get a portkey arranged."

"Thank you," Astoria said, hugging him from behind. "Maybe we could spend another week here and then go home."

Draco was smiling. He liked it when Astoria hugged him the way she was. "Sure. Whatever you decide."

* * *

It was December 15th, the day before Draco and Astoria were due to return home for Christmas and New Year. With the evening drawing near, Draco was busy starting a fire. For the last week or so, he and Astoria had spent their evenings relaxing on a rug as the flames flickered in the grate, drinking hot drinks, talking and playing cards into the early hours.

Astoria thought she'd take advantage of Draco being preoccupied and take one last pregnancy test before they headed back to spend the next three weeks with her family. So far, Draco had been with her every time she'd done a test. With each test she took, her hopes of the test being positive were fading and so were Draco's, so she'd rather do the final one of the year alone - at least it would save one of them the frustration of watching the potion turn purple for the umpteenth time.

She headed through to the bathroom, retrieving a vial of potion from the cabinet and doing what she needed to do. Then she waited. Although the potion only took 45 seconds to react, the wait felt like a lifetime every single time. She sat on the toilet, the vial gripped tightly in her hand, her eyes closed. She counted to 45 but, without Draco there, felt too afraid to look. Another minute passed before she took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes. The potion wasn't purple. It was green. Positive.

Astoria's heart started hammering inside her chest. It had finally happened. She sat very still for a few minutes and tried to let the news sink in. She was going to be a mother. After a long while spent collecting her thoughts, she got up and balanced the vial carefully on the edge of the sink. She bit her lip, feeling a little guilty that Draco hadn't been there to witness the potion turn green. But now she got to tell him herself and she was _so_ excited.

She left the bathroom and padded down the hallway and into the lounge where she found Draco sat in an armchair, the fire burning at his side. It had grown dark outside.

"Draco."

He looked up from whatever it was he was reading. He could sense that something had happened immediately. "Astoria?" He watched as a smile spread across her face. Something _good_ had happened.

She made her way over to the armchair and sat herself carefully in his lap, taking his hand in hers. She placed his hand carefully on her stomach and smiled. Draco's eyes lingered on his hand resting on her stomach for a few seconds before he looked back up at her, his eyes wide with surprise.

"You're..?"

"Yes! You're going to be a dad, Draco," Astoria confirmed, her voice full of excitement.

"Are you - you did another test?"

Astoria nodded. "I'm sorry I did it without you. I just wanted to save you the disappointment... but then it wasn't purple."

"Don't apologise!" he said. "This is... I can't believe it!" He laughed breathlessly, his hand still resting on Astoria's tummy. His eyes met hers and he gave her the same determined stare he'd given her just before he'd asked her to marry him. "Thank you," he whispered.

Astoria shook her head, still smiling. "Don't thank me. We did this together."

She rested a hand on his cheek, the other covering his hand on her stomach. Draco pulled her towards him, kissing her deeply. She melted into him.

"We're going to be parents," he said in awe once they'd stopped kissing. It was going to take a while for the news to sink in; although it was completely planned, Draco had actually been losing any hope of he and Astoria conceiving in recent weeks. Now it had actually happened, he couldn't quite get his head around it.

That night, he and Astoria went to bed feeling incredibly elated. With Astoria lying on her side, Draco lay behind her, his hand resting protectively over her stomach. Astoria was smiling in the darkness.

"Are we going to sleep like this every night, now?" she asked softly.

"Yes," Draco replied. She knew he meant it. "I have two people to protect now, don't I?"

"You're going to be the best dad, you know that?" she told him sincerely. She genuinely didn't believe anything more than she believed that.

"I'm going to try my hardest, I know that much. I just want our child to have something I never did with my father. The freedom to be whoever they want to be."

Astoria squeezed his hand in understanding. "Are you hoping for a boy?" she asked after a long silence.

"I wouldn't mind either way, as long as you're both healthy. That's the most important thing to me. I know you must be scared, Astoria, underneath the excitement, but we are in this together. I know I can't take your pain away, but I'll do everything I can to help you though this pregnancy."

"I know you will," she whispered. "I'm sort of hoping for a boy, by the way," she confessed. "I like the idea of a little baby boy with blond hair and a pointy nose, just like his daddy."

Draco smiled. He held Astoria close and kissed her head, not quite believing his luck.

Family had always been incredibly important to Draco, despite his rocky relationship with his father. December 15th 2005 was the day he learnt that he and Astoria were to start a family of their own. As he lay there in bed with his arms around his wife and his hand resting on their unborn child, he felt as though he'd been given a chance to prove he'd become a better person. If he knew one thing for certain, it was that there wasn't a chance he was going to mess it up.


	11. Chapter 11

The next day, Draco and Astoria arrived at her parents' home via portkey. While there wasn't any snow back in England, the weather was bitterly cold. Luckily, Draco had insisted that they both wrap up warm before they set off. As they trudged up the path, scarves blowing in the wind, Draco put his arm around his wife.

"When do we tell them?" he asked quietly in her ear.

"Not yet," she said. "What about your family? Should we gather everyone in one room to break the news over Christmas?"

Draco grimmaced at the though. "I'd rather not. Can we tell them separately? I don't mind your family knowing first."

Astoria looked up at him, trying to read him. "If you're sure..."

"I think it's a good idea if we keep our families apart. Neither are exactly overjoyed that we're together, even now we're married. It's just best all round if their paths cross as little as humanely possible."

Although the situation was rather dire, Astoria couldn't help but laugh. Draco rolled his eyes, realising how ridiculous the whole thing was. He shook his head in exasperation.

"Damn you, Astoria, for not being good enough for me," he joked.

Astoria giggled. "And damn you for being such an evil bastard."

Draco stopped suddenly and pulled her against him. "I really am." He kissed her. "Completely evil." Another kiss. "I'm so sorry." He kissed her one final time, his tongue running along her bottom lip, begging for entry. They stood just metres away from the front door, kissing passionately.

Astoria laughed softly, breaking the kiss and pushing him away. "Someone's going to see!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him up the path.

"You're right. How wicked of me to kiss my wife in such a way."

She looked round at him. He winked. Astoria knocked the front door - it didn't feel right just letting herself in now she didn't live there anymore, but it felt equally as strange knocking on the front door of the house that had been her home for so many years. Draco stood behind her, shoulders hunched as the cold wind whipped around them. It was Astoria's mum who opened the door.

"Sweetheart!" she exclaimed with open arms. Draco watched as mother and daughter embraced for a long while. Mrs Greengrass cupped Astoria's face in her hands. "How have you been? The two of you have been away for so long, what an earth have you been doing?"

"Can we come in mum? It's cold out here."

"Of course, I'm so sorry!" She stood aside and Astoria made her way in.

"Mrs Greengrass," Draco said, nodding curtly as he made his way inside after Astoria.

"Draco," Mrs Greengrass greeted him, closing the door and making her way to the kitchen.

"Holy Salazar! I was beginning to forget what you looked like!" Daphne hugged her sister tightly as she and Draco entered the lounge. "It's been three months. We've never gone three months without seeing each other!" She cast a scathing look at Draco over Astoria's shoulder, blaming him entirely. "The two of you just disappeared with barely a word. What was that all about?"

Astoria made herself comfortable on the sofa, while Draco decided to occupy the armchair. He'd already accepted that he wasn't going to receive even a simple 'hello' from his sister-in-law. He sat listening to their conversation, a bored expression on his face.

"Look, we just wanted some time away, Daph. Some time for the two of us."

"We or _he_?" Daphne asked, nodding her head towards Draco.

"We," Astoria assured her sister firmly.

"Do you seriously believe that I tell Astoria to fly and she asks me how high?" Draco drawled.

Daphne looked around at him, looking him up and down with disdain. "I'm sorry, was I talking to you, sweet cheeks?"

Draco snorted with laughter. Daphne didn't even get under his skin anymore, no matter how hard she tried. In fact, he was starting to find her rather amusing. Not in an endearing way, mind you.

"Daphne," Astoria scorned. She sounded tired. "Draco and I are spending three weeks here, can you stop being so difficult? We've been here two minutes and you're already trying to antagonise him. He's my husband for crying out loud, just... _be nice_! When he proposed it was you fighting his corner. I thought all the petty little remarks would have stopped by now."

Draco raised an eyebrow at Daphne as though daring her to carry on being rude. Daphne glared at him for a split second before turning back to Astoria.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'll stop. Or, at least I'll try to. No promises."

"You'll stop. Call it a Christmas gift from you to me."

Daphne smiled. After a long silence: "Cup of tea, anyone?" she offered, rising from the sofa. "Mum's got the Christmas biscuits out already. Those chocolate ones you really like."

"Ooh, yeah! I'll have a tea and just bring the whole box of biscuits in. You know how I like to look at the little booklet."

"Tea, Draco?"

"If you wouldn't mind. Thank you."

"Let me guess... milk, no sugar, because you're already sweet enough?"

"Daph!"

"Joking... I was joking! Merlin, Astoria, just because you married a Malfoy didn't mean you had to adopt their lack of sense of humour." She smiled sweetly at Draco before leaving the room.

Draco crossed his legs, ankle to knee, leaning back in the chair. Astoria was pleased to see he didn't look too uncomfortable in her parents' home anymore, despite the fact that he still didn't receive a warm welcome. Her conscience squirmed slightly over the fact she'd forced him into spending Christmas with people who didn't like him. She knew he was only here for her sake, and that he'd much rather be back at the villa or Malfoy Manor.

"I'm so sorry," Astoria whispered. "I promise if she doesn't tone it down I will have serious words with her."

"It's fine, I can handle Daphne."

Astoria reached across and squeezed Draco's hand. "Thank you for doing this for me. I really appreciate it."

* * *

Draco and Astoria spent the days leading up to Christmas doing all the things you would expect a family to do; eating well, decorating the house and paying visits to a few other family members. Astoria's parents and Daphne were making a little more effort with Draco than usual since it was Christmas. In return, he was a little more open towards them, trying harder to make conversation than he usually did. Astoria was pleased.

Just four days before Christmas, Astoria sat in the armchair watching as Draco and Daphne worked together on decorating the very top of the tree. As she was much shorter than both of them, she'd decided to let them finish the job together. She sat drinking hot chocolate, smiling as she watched them. She knew they'd never be best of friends, but at least they'd made some progress, albeit minor.

"Mulled wine anyone?" Daphne asked, once the tree was finished.

Draco glanced towards Astoria. As of yet, no-one was aware that she was pregnant. They'd been offered alcohol more than once since they'd returned from Italy; with Astoria now unable to drink, Draco had decided to abstain from alcohol as well. It was only a matter of time before someone asked why neither of them were drinking over the festive period. A matter of seconds, in fact.

"No, thank you," Astoria said.

"Nor for me."

Daphne looked from Draco to Astoria, an eyebrow raised. She'd been on nights out with Astoria and Draco several times, and the two of them usually drank more than anyone else in their company. "You two keep declining alcohol. What on earth's wrong with you both? It's Christmas, and you both usually put it away like it's nobody's business on _any_ occasion."

"We just drank a little too much while we were away," Draco said quickly. "Got incredibly drunk one night. Can't face drinking again right now..."

Daphne laughed. "Wow, it must have been bad."

"Oh, it really was. Awful..." Astoria lied. She saw Draco smirking behind Daphne's back and struggled to stop herself laughing. She was an awful liar.

"Oh well. Mulled wine for one it is then!" And with that, Daphne disappeared in the direction of the kitchen, leaving Draco and Astoria alone.

Astoria sighed with relief that Daphne had fallen for their tales.

"They're going to figure it out soon enough, Astoria..." Draco pointed out.

"I know, I know," Astoria whispered back. "I don't think they're going to take it well, so I'd like to do it after Christmas day, at least."

* * *

It was now Christmas Eve and Draco, Astoria and her family were sat around the dining table eating supper after enjoying a few board games together. Draco was still a little awkward around them, but Astoria was more than pleased with the improvements they'd made. She didn't manage to finish her plate of food - she'd been feeling rather nauseous the last few days. Luckily, no-one had noticed her throwing up in the mornings as of yet, not even Draco.

When everyone had finished eating, Draco excused himself from the table and made his way to the bathroom. Astoria gathered everyone's plates and carried them through to the kitchen. She placed them down on the kitchen counter before a dizzy spell suddenly washed over her. She grabbed hold of the kitchen counter in an attempt to steady herself, resting her head on her hand. But slowly, everything turned to black and she fell to the floor, knocking a glass off of the counter as she went down.

Daphne and her parents came running into the kitchen from the next room to find her lying on the floor.

"Astoria?" Daphne called her sister's name calmly. This had happened before. She knelt down beside her sister and shook her gently. Her mother and father leaned over her worriedly.

Draco, who had heard the glass smashing from the bathroom, came thundering down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Astoria?!" he cried, panic taking over as he saw his wife sprawled across the floor. "I leave her alone for two minutes..." He fell to his knees beside her, reaching out and touching her face gently. "Astoria! Can you hear me?!"

"Draco, calm down. It's happened before, it's ok." Daphne spoke calmly. She couldn't help but think Draco was overreacting a little. She'd only fainted.

"No, it's not ok! It's far from ok!" Draco struggled to control the volume of his voice. "Can you just give her some space?!" He raised his arm against Daphne in an attempt to move her away. Astoria's parents had already backed off a little.

"Draco, seriously," Daphne said sternly, scooting back on her knees away from her sister slightly before Draco had the chance to push her. "You're overreacting! Astoria has fainted many times before, she's always fine after a few min-"

"She's pregnant!" Draco yelled, moving to lift Astoria off of the floor. He was completely overwhelmed with panic. What if she'd hit her head as she fell? Or her stomach? "Astoria is pregnant! So no, nothing about this situation is ok!"

His eyes met Daphne's as he lifted Astoria's limp form into his arms. She was gawping at him, unable to believe what she'd just heard. Astoria's parents were staring at him with equally as shocked expressions, completely lost for words. Draco didn't so much as glance in their direction as he made to leave the room.

* * *

That evening, once Astoria was feeling up to it, she and Draco made an appearance downstairs. When they entered the lounge, they found her parents and Daphne having a heated discussion in hushed voices. They stopped at the sight of them. Draco flicked his wand and two of the dining table chairs levitated across the room, landing in front of he and Astoria. They both sat down, prepared for the torrent of questions that was sure to begin any second.

There was a long, awkward silence. Eventually Astoria's mother spoke.

"Astoria, I sincerely hope that what Draco said in the kitchen before isn't true." She looked at her daughter.

"It is true, mum. Why would Draco make something like that up?"

Astoria watched as her mother buried her face in her hands; her father looked away from them, exhaling noisy as a way of expressing his displeasure.

"Astoria, have you any idea of the toll carrying a child will have on your body? It hasn't even been a year since you found out... you rushed into marriage, you disappear off the face of the earth for months and you come back pregnant? Please tell me that isn't why you went away?"

The silence spoke for itself.

"You foolish girl," her mum whispered, tears brimming in her eyes. "Since when have you wanted children? You've never shown - " she made eye contact with Draco, who was staring coldly across the room at her. Suddenly, Astoria's mother felt as though everything made perfect sense. " _You_. And to think I was actually starting to believe that my daughter means as much to you as you say she does. Suddenly it all seems so clear. Draco _Malfoy_ needs _an heir_ , even if it costs my daughter her life." Her tone was vicious.

Draco could hardly believe what he was hearing. He knew Astoria's family didn't like him, but this was beyond anything he'd imagined.

"No," he said icily. "That's not what this is. How dare you insinuate that Astoria means so little to me?"

"You have to admit, Draco, it's all rather convenient, isn't it?" Astoria's father piped up.

"If you think that little of me - that you honestly think I would risk losing Astoria just so there's someone around to inherit my fortune..." He was so angry, he couldn't even finish his sentence.

Astoria could hear in his voice how wounded he was by her parents' accusations.

"It was me who wanted to have a baby," Astoria said suddenly. "Not Draco. It was _me_. So you have absolutely no right to talk to him like that."

"Astoria, having a baby could kill you," Daphne said, as blunt as ever.

Draco rose suddenly from his chair and began pacing the length of the room.

"It could, yes. But it could also turn out to be the best thing I've ever done. We didn't just rush into this without talking about it, you know. We talked. We argued, even. His first reaction was to get mad at me for even suggesting it. That's how terrified he is of losing me! Once he'd calmed down, I explained to him how much it means to me. We thought it through and we reached the decision to try for a baby. _Together_. What you just said to Draco was completely disgusting and I want you to apologise now. I can assure you that if you don't, we'll be spending Christmas alone in the Manor."

There was a long silence.

"Forget it, Astoria," Draco said. "You're fighting a losing battle. To your family, I'll always be the Death Eater who didn't deserve to marry their daughter. And that's ok. I can accept that they think I don't deserve you, because I probably don't. But I'm not staying in a house where people believe I would disregard your life for my personal gain. It's beyond insulting and it's entirely unfair."

He crossed the room and made for the stairs. Astoria looked around at her family, giving them one last chance to apologise. When the silence lingered on, she stood and followed her husband upstairs. She found Draco hurriedly packing his things into his holdall.

"Draco, I'm so sorry," Astoria said. She was absolutely mortified. "What they said was completely unacceptable."

"Yes, it was," Draco said. He sounded angry and upset. "You know, I knew they didn't like me, but that..." He shook his head. "I thought your parents had at least realised that I genuinely care for you. It seems I was wrong. Astoria, if you want to spend Christmas here, I'll understand. I won't stop you. But I can't stay here, not now."

Astoria crossed the room and hugged Draco tightly. He stood awkwardly, making no attempt to hug her back. While Astoria was grateful that he offered, there was no way she was leaving him alone for Christmas, especially since he wasn't the one in the wrong.

"I'm coming with you," she said softly. "You're my husband, and I stand by you. Always."

"Thank you." Draco finally hugged her back. It made her feel as though nothing mattered except the two of them. The two of them, and their baby.

Fifteen minutes later, Draco and Astoria made their way downstairs. Draco waited by the front door while Astoria wished her family a happy Christmas.

"Astoria, you don't have to leave. Please," Draco heard her mother saying.

"Mum, I gave you the chance to take back what you said. It was so far from the truth. _So far_. I can't believe you still think so little of him. I just feel sad. Sad that we can't just be a normal family who celebrate good news like engagements and pregnancies. Maybe Daphne will have better luck finding a husband you approve of and breezing through a blissful pregnancy because she doesn't have a blood malediction. You and dad could support her all the way. Wouldn't that be lovely."

Draco zoned out. It wasn't a conversation he wished to overhear. He looked around and was surprised to see Daphne standing in the hallway. They stared at each other for a moment.

"For what it's worth, I don't think you would choose to risk Astoria's life just so you could have an heir. If the two of you have decided to have a baby then I know it must be something that means a lot to you both."

Draco was taken aback. It took him a few seconds to respond. "Thank you," he said uncertainly, his voice husky.

"You're welcome. Just take care of her, Draco, please. Pregnancy is going to be really tough on her. And come back after Christmas. I'm sure mum and dad will have cooled down by then."

"I might not have," he pointed out. Daphne nodded in understanding. "I'll take care of her. You know I will."

* * *

That night, Astoria and Draco felt relieved to be back at the Manor in the comfort of their own bed. Under the sheets, Draco assumed his usual position, hand placed protectively across Astoria's stomach. Eyes closed, he breathed in the scent of her hair. It made him feel calm again.

"Draco, I'm so sorry for everything," Astoria whispered into the darkness.

"Can we just try and forget about it?" Draco mumbled.

"Of course..."

Astoria locked her fingers together with his. "Do you think they'll always be fighting us? Our parents?" She couldn't help herself.

"Astoria, now is not the time." She went quiet. Draco softened. "I know one thing. I don't ever want to make our child feel they way our parents make us feel. I don't want to fight them."

Astoria offered silent understanding. It wasn't long before they drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It was unusual spending Christmas just the two of them. The previous year they'd split the day between the two of their families (which hadn't been the most pleasant experience, but they'd got through it). Before then, they hadn't even known each other. Astoria found it hard to believe that this was only their second Christmas together.

Astoria and Draco found they enjoyed Christmas much more when there wasn't such a fuss. They exchanged gifts in the morning; Astoria gave Draco a collection of leather-bound books she'd caught him eyeing up in Flourish and Blotts one day over summer, and a handsome set of new robes. She'd also bought him a small hamper filled with hair products - a joke gift, owing to the fact that Draco had mentioned that he was considering growing his hair out. Draco gifted Astoria with a dainty set of emerald jewellery: necklace and earrings. They were beautiful but understated. He knew Astoria didn't like her jewellery too garish.

From late morning into the early afternoon, they spent their time preparing a mighty fine Christmas dinner together, despite the fact it was just the two of them. They chatted over the Christmas music playing from the wireless in the next room as they prepared turkey, pigs in blankets, potatoes, vegetables and gravy. Her and Draco rarely cooked together and Astoria found herself thoroughly enjoying it.

Once they'd eaten, they topped-and-tailed on a sofa in one of the Manor's many rooms, a fire burning at their side. Draco hadn't been able to delay thumbing through one of the books Astoria had given him that morning any longer. Astoria drifted off to sleep for an hour or so and Draco found himself watching over her every so often. He liked how peaceful she looked when she was asleep. He felt a weird sense of gratitude at the rhythm of her chest rising and falling with every breath she took.

Once Astoria had woken and perked up a little they feasted on chocolate and mince pies, curled up together on the sofa with a fleece blanket thrown over them.

"I am such a pig," Astoria said, half way through her third mince pie. No matter how much she ate, she never gained weight. Draco was pretty much the same; he'd gained some weight since school, but that was mainly because he'd grown taller and broader.

"You're eating for two now. Perfect excuse." Draco smiled. "Come next Christmas, we'll have a child about the place. I still can't believe it. How old will they be?"

"Three months." Astoria smiled, overwhelmed with joy over Draco's apparent thrill at the thought of their baby being with them. It was quite something, given his initial reaction to the idea. For a moment, Astoria sat and thought of the two of them actually sitting in the Manor, nursing their child. Then an idea occurred to her.

"Draco, what would you say if I suggested we give the Manor a makeover, ready for when baby is born. It's such a spectacular house, but it's not exactly the most homely of places..."

Draco looked around for a moment. He pictured the Manor as a whole: cold, dark, Malfoy family portraits dating back centuries hanging from almost every wall... the only rooms he especially liked were his and Astoria's bedroom and the library. The room they were currently inhabiting wasn't too bad either, it was relatively comfortable. And the house as it was still brought back a lot of bad memories for Draco. He took a moment to consider what it would be like to bring a child up in the house. Thinking back to his own early childhood, he hadn't felt too uncomfortable around the Manor, but he'd always preferred the freedom of the gardens. Astoria was right, the Manor wasn't homely at all.

"I'd say that I think it's a great idea," Draco said. He watched his wife as she smiled broadly.

"Your parents, would they..?"

"It doesn't matter what they think. Astoria, this is our home now. _Your_ home. We can do whatever you damn well like to the place. Decorate it in Gryffindor colours for all I care. That'd get father's back up."

Astoria laughed. "Gryffindor colours?" She raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Ok, maybe I was being a bit hasty. Forget the Gryffindor colours," Draco smirked. "But seriously, we'll do it. We'll have a nursery, and a proper lounge, and we can give the library a makeover. And the drawing room - that can go. We'll plan it properly. Let's do it soon."


	12. Chapter 12

Astoria's wish had come true. When she attended her 18-week health check-up at St Mungo's towards the end of April, she and Draco had been told they were having a baby boy. Emotional, and already physically exhausted from the pregnancy, Astoria had burst into tears upon hearing the news. Although Draco had insisted he didn't mind what gender the baby was, he'd become very emotional upon hearing the news, repeating 'it's a boy' in amazement more times than Astoria could count. He was most certainly over the moon.

Slowly, the Manor was being transformed into somewhat of a more comfortable home for Draco, Astoria and their baby boy. Draco spent much of his time working to get things the way Astoria wanted them. She couldn't help half as much as she'd have liked to, with the pregnancy worsening her condition, as was expected.

Some days Astoria was more mobile than others, but now at six months pregnant, she'd come to be spending around three or four days a week in bed. She was growing bigger by the day, and found it very difficult coping with the extra weight. Draco was doing an incredible job of taking care of her, making sure she was as comfortable as possible and had everything she needed.

Astoria often had company when Draco was at his busiest. Her parents visited the Manor once a week (always making it clear how much they disliked the place), Daphne even more frequently. Astoria even invited a couple of her closest friends over. Draco greeted them with a strained 'hello' before making himself scarce. Though Astoria's friends didn't dislike Draco in the way her family did, they had found the coupling odd to say the very least; they would spend hours asking Astoria questions about him, most of which she would tactfully avoid answering. She found it amusing how alien her husband was to her friends.

"He doesn't really speak," one friend, Madison, had pointed out.

Astoria had giggled. She could see how they thought Draco to be strange, though to her, he wasn't. "He's a man of few words when we have company," she'd said.

Come July, Astoria was in a great deal of pain. During the nights, she often found it difficult to sleep. With their baby growing, she found it almost impossible to get comfortable, sometimes feeling him kick into the early hours of the morning.

Draco would do what he could, but there was only so much he could offer. Some nights he would fall asleep a long while before Astoria, despite his best efforts to stay awake until she'd drifted off.

"Please sleep, baby Scorpius," Astoria would whisper into the darkness.

Scorpius. She and Draco had chosen the name together. Draco had seemed keen to continue the family tradition of taking names of constellations.

* * *

On the night of August 4th, Astoria was finding it particularly difficult to sleep. With her September due date fast approaching, she was starting to fear the pain she'd soon have to experience, unsure how she was going to cope. An active Scorpius and the humid weather weren't helping either. Eventually, she'd drifted off around 11 o clock, Draco sound asleep beside her.

Two hours later, Draco awoke abruptly to the sound of his wife screaming in pain.

"Astoria?" Draco fumbled around for his wand and cast lumos, turning to Astoria with an alarmed look on his face to see hers screwed up in agony. "Astoria, what is it? Talk to me." He could feel the panic rising inside of him.

Astoria gasped, struggling to speak. "My stomach," she managed to say, reaching out for Draco's hand. She cried out in pain again. "Draco... it - it can't be..." She took deep breaths, trying not to let the fear take over.

"No, no, it can't be," Draco agreed, though he wasn't convinced. "You've another seven weeks left yet."

He pulled the blanket off of Astoria, frowning deeply as he discovered a dark red stain on the sheets between her legs.

"Ok," he said, trying to stay calm. "We need to get to the hospital. Get you checked over."

"What is it?" Astoria moaned, noticing his look of concern. "Draco, what's..." She moved a hand downwards, bringing it back up to find it covered in blood. "Oh my god!" She turned to Draco, who was failing to keep the fear from his face. "No! No, no... this is not supposed to happen! Not now!" She let out another low moan, the pain taking over.

"It'll be ok. Everything will be ok. I promise you." Draco was talking quickly. "Look, here's what we're going to do: I'm going to get you out of bed and wrap you in my dressing gown. Then, I'm going to take you to St Mungo's. We've had a space on the private ward reserved for weeks now. They'll have to see us. So, we'll go there and then everything will be ok, Astoria, it will."

Tears slid silently down Astoria's cheeks as Draco lifted her gently out of the bed and placed his dressing gown around her shoulders. Luckily, they'd taken the initiative to prepare a birthing bag a few weeks earlier. Draco grabbed it from the corner of the room, before quickly pulling on some robes.

"Astoria." He tried to get his wife to focus. She was sat back down on the edge of the bed, her breathing laboured. "We're leaving for the hospital. Ok?"

He crouched down in front of her so that she could see his face. It was with great effort that he managed to remove all traces of worry or fear.

"Astoria. Stand up. We need to go now." His instructions were firm but his voice was gentle. He helped her up from the bed, her entire weight leaning on him. She cried out in pain again, her hand resting on her stomach. Draco couldn't bear to hear her in pain, but - if Astoria had gone into early labour as they feared - he was going to have to get used to it.

* * *

Within ten minutes, Astoria and Draco had been ushered into the private ward at St Mungo's with an entire room to themselves, much more comfortable and inviting than those they offered regular patients. It hadn't taken the delivery healers long to confirm that Astoria had indeed gone into early labour.

Draco was currently in full panic mode, standing at the end of Astoria's hospital bed firing question after question at one of the healers while another tended to Astoria, administering several different types of pain relief. She felt so out of it that she could barely register what Draco and the healer were saying.

"She still has seven weeks to go though. If our baby comes now... he's not in any danger is he?"

"Once we've ran some tests, we'll be able to tell you more, Mr Malfoy, but for now I suggest you try to stay calm for your wife's sake. She's going to need you to keep it together. We've delivered plenty of babies, seven weeks early or even more premature and many of them had very few complications. Just because baby has decided he's ready to come now doesn't mean that there's going to be any problems. He may well be perfectly healthy, if a little on the small side. Like I said, we will run tests as soon as your wife's pain is under control."

"How will you get her pain under control? Are you aware that she's ill?"

"We have her notes here, Mr Malfoy. I can see that Mrs Malfoy has an acute blood malediction. I'm sure you've already been made aware that childbirth comes with a certain amount of risk?"

"Yes, but how large is the risk? Are you able to tell now that she's in labour?" Draco had a hundred questions that needed answering and he was feeling very agitated and impatient.

"Your wife is still in the very early stages of labour. We will be monitoring her condition very closely, and should anything be of concern, we may suggest that Mrs Malfoy be sent for an emergency cesarean section. This is a last resort though, as her notes say that she has requested to be allowed a natural birth unless her condition becomes critical."

"Draco!" Astoria moaned from the bed. "Ow! Draco, I need you here, not over there interrogating them!" she scorned him through gritted teeth. "You said we were in this together!"

"We're not done here," Draco mumbled to the healer before seating himself at Astoria's side, offering a hand for her to hold. She grasped it tightly.

"Sweet Salazar, it only just started and it hurts so much! How am I going to do this?"

If only Draco knew the answer.

* * *

Many hours later, night had turned to day and Astoria's labour pains were becoming more intense by the minute. Draco had moved to sit on the bed alongside her, offering words of encouragement and a hand to hold. He wished there was more he could do. Every time Astoria would flinch or moan or scream, his body would tense up. He hadn't realised that witnessing her give birth would be as difficult as it was.

Draco had offered to get in contact with Astoria's family to inform them that she'd gone into early labour, but Astoria had insisted she didn't want them there.

"They didn't even approve of us having a child. I don't want them here. I have you," she'd said.

Come midday, Astoria had been in labour for eleven hours and the baby still didn't look like he was set to make an appearance any time soon. Astoria was now drenched in sweat, her hair sticking to her forehead. With every push she gave, tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. The pain was beyond anything she'd imagined. She inhaled the gas and air as if her life depended on it.

Time ticked slowly on, and Astoria felt what little energy she had left draining away. She was completely exhausted. Laying back on her pile of plumped up pillows, she started to wonder if she'd even be awake when her baby was born. It was six in the evening - seventeen hours into her labour - and still no sign of the baby's head. Draco was running out of words of encouragement, too - he'd said all the nice things there were to be said to a woman struggling through labour. Instead, he'd settled for brushing her hair gently away from her face and offering her a glass of water every five minutes.

Drained and wishing for the pain to stop, Astoria let her eyes fall closed. If only she could just sleep a while, she'd surely wake up with more energy?

"Astoria," she heard Draco calling. "Astoria?" But his voice seemed distant and she found herself unable to respond to his prompts. "Healer! Healer!" Draco started shouting, getting up off of the bed so they had space to check Astoria over. They too called her name but couldn't get a response.

"Your wife has drifted into unconsciousness, Mr Malfoy," one of the healers explained clearly. "We're going to give her a few minutes to she if she comes round by herself."

Draco's eyes flickered across the healer's face. "Why do you seem so calm about this? This isn't normal, surely?"

"It is unusual, but unsurprising given your wife's blood malediction, Mr Malfoy."

"So, give her the cesarean! Is being unconscious risking her health? Is she in danger? Because if she is, I order you to do whatever you have to. I couldn't care less if she wants this birth to be natural, I am not having her die!" Draco was beside himself.

"As I said, we will give her a few minutes. If she doesn't stir, there are several options we will run through with you. Mrs Malfoy has signed a consent form allowing you to decide what will happen if she is unable to, so the decision would ultimately lie with you if she remains unconscious, Mr Malfoy."

Draco thought this through for a moment. "Right. Good."

Draco sat back down beside Astoria, resting a hand on her arm. "Astoria, please wake up," he whispered. "You can do this, I know you can. You're so strong, Astoria. I'm so proud of you."

The seconds ticked by. Draco couldn't take his eyes off of her. He didn't even blink. All he could do was watch. Eventually, after almost five minutes, Astoria slowly opened her eyes. Draco breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"What... happened?" Astoria asked weakly.

"You scared me is what happened. You fell unconscious for a short while. Did the pain get too much?"

Astoria nodded slightly. "Far too much, Draco. I just wanted to rest for a moment so I closed my eyes." She spoke quietly; barely louder than a whisper.

"I know it's hard, Astoria, but you have to keep going. It'll all be over soon."

"Oh - ohhh it's coming again. Another contraction." Astoria braced herself for the unbearable wave of pain that was due to hit at any moment.

Draco slid his hand into hers. "You squeeze it. As hard as you want. Break it, even, I don't care. And if there's anything more useful I can do, just tell me and I'll do it."

"You're here. That's enough," Astoria groaned through gritted teeth.

Astoria panted heavily several times before screaming in pain. She crushed Draco's hand in her own. He didn't even flinch. He knew it was nothing compared to the pain she was feeling.

As time went on, Astoria's contractions were coming more and more frequently which must mean their baby was closer to arriving. Draco didn't move from her side once. The whole time the healers were watching over Astoria, often from afar, making sure that her blood pressure didn't rise too high, or her heart rate fall too low. All things considered, she was doing well - they were surprised by how well her body was coping.

It wasn't until just gone midnight when their baby boy finally seemed ready to make an appearance.

Running on empty, Astoria was slumped back on her mountain of pillows, drenched in sweat, still clinging to Draco's hand for dear life. She looked completely out of it. Draco had removed his shoes and was now half led on the bed beside Astoria (private wards came with the luxury of a double bed). It had now been more than 23 hours since Draco had woken to the sound of his wife screaming, and he was feeling emotionally drained, but he couldn't let that show. Every so often he would cradle Astoria to him and whisper words of encouragement.

"Ok, Mrs Malfoy. Mrs Malfoy, we can see the baby's head," one of the healers announced calmly at a quarter past midnight.

Astoria burst into tears - a combination of happiness, exhaustion and pain. "You can?"

"The baby's head?!" Draco cried, relieved that his wife's pain would soon come to an end and their son would be safe in their arms. "The baby's head, Astoria!" Laying ever so close to her, he sounded excited.

Astoria nodded and smiled weakly. She wished she had the energy to sound as excited as her husband. Draco's eyes searched hers. He understood.

"You're amazing, you know that?" he told her. "You are the most incredible person I've ever met. You're so strong, Astoria. You amaze me. What you've done for us amazes me."

Astoria's smile strengthened. "Don't you... go all... soppy on me, Draco Malfoy," she said between deep breaths.

Draco smiled. "But I mean it. I'm in awe of you. I wish I had a fraction of your strength."

Astoria reached a hand out shakily and touched Draco's face. "You're stronger than you know," she whispered.

Before Draco had chance to respond, Astoria gave a long moan as she pushed with everything she had left.

"You can do it, Astoria," Draco said confidently. "You're so close. You're almost there." He leaned his forehead against hers and kissed the tip of her nose. "Breathe. Deep breaths."

"One more push, and baby will be here," the healer announced. "You're so close, Mrs Malfoy!"

"Ready?" Draco locked his eyes with hers. She nodded. "Ok," he said. "One, two, three - "

Astoria gripped his hand tightly as she gave one final scream of pain. The moment the baby arrived, the healers took him away to be checked over and cleaned up. "He's here. We've got him," one of them said reassuringly.

"You did it! You did it, Astoria. He's here. Everything's going to be ok."

Though still in pain, she managed a wide smile. "I did it," she panted. "Bloody hell, it took long enough."

"Twenty three and a half hours," Draco confirmed, craning his neck in an attempt to catch a glimpse of their baby. He could go over, of course, but he didn't want to leave Astoria's side. "Is he ok? He isn't crying," Draco called over to the healers.

"Everything is fine, Mr Malfoy. He's small but perfectly healthy. One moment..."

Draco relaxed, holding Astoria in his arms as she rested her eyes. A few minutes later one of the healers appeared at the end of the bed with a bundle in their arms.

"Which one of you wants to hold your son first, then?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips.

Draco looked anxiously at Astoria. "I can't, Draco. I feel so weak. You take him," she said.

"Should I?" Draco said uncertainly. Suddenly all the fears he'd had about coming a parent sprung to the forefront of his mind. This was real.

"Yes," Astoria said encouragingly. She nodded at him, smiling.

"Ok, I'll take him, and I'll lie down and put him on your chest but I'll keep hold of him. That way, we both have him."

Draco sat up and carefully, the healer passed him the tiny bundle wrapped up in the blanket. His son. The moment Draco clapped eyes on him, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. There, in his arms, was a tiny baby boy with a pointy nose and chin, and a wisp of white blonde hair, fast asleep. It wasn't possible for the child to look any more like Draco. He stared at the baby as though transfixed, his mouth falling open in amazement. In that moment, he knew that he would do anything to protect his son from harm.

"Astoria," Draco said softly in wonderment. "Oh, Astoria. He..." Draco didn't know what to say. Instead, he shifted carefully backwards and lay down slowly, making sure the baby's head was supported, offering his wife her first glance at their child. He leant across Astoria, the baby still in his arms but also resting on her. Deciding the couple needed some privacy, the healers left the room quietly.

Astoria looked at her baby and her heart swelled with love, all the pain and suffering now a distant memory.

"Wow, Draco. He looks just like you. _Just_ like you," she said breathlessly. The similarities really were uncanny. She couldn't believe it. "He's beautiful."

Draco nodded. "Hello, Scorpius," he whispered, tracing his pinky finger lightly over his son's delicate features as though checking he were real.

Astoria smiled, watching Draco adjust to all the new emotions he must be feeling. She felt them, too; she'd never felt happier in her life than she did at that very moment. The two of them lay incredibly still for a moment, unable to take their eyes away from the tiny baby that lay in Draco's arms.

After a minute or so, Draco became completely overwhelmed. He was a father now. The baby boy in his arms was his flesh and blood. _His son_.

He wasn't surprised to find himself starting to cry. He covered his eyes with a hand in an attempt to stop his tears from falling but he couldn't; he cried. Really cried. He'd never felt happiness like it.

Astoria looked across at him. She'd never seen her husband cry before. It must have been the gravity of the moment that tipped him over the edge. She completely understood.

"Hey," she said softly. Draco was shaking as he sobbed. She slowly lifted an arm to help him support baby Scorpius.

"I just can't believe what you've done for me. For us." Draco's eyes met hers. "Our son, Astoria. _Ours_."

Despite everything - all the difficult conversations, the heart-wrenching confessions, the bad news - their baby boy was the one thing that reduced Draco, her tower of strength, to tears. Astoria held him to her, suddenly feeling incredibly protective.

"I've only just met him and I've never felt love like it," she whispered, stroking Draco's hair.

"Me, too," he said, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "I'm sorry, I - I don't know what came over me."

Astoria shook her head. "Don't apologise. It's good to finally see you letting your emotions out."

As the two of them looked down at Scorpius, his eyes opened very slowly. They were brown, just like Astoria's.

"Your eyes," Draco whispered, smiling.

"He had to have some Greengrass in there," Astoria said softly.

Unsurprisingly, it wasn't long before Astoria was sound asleep, cuddled up at Draco's side. Draco watched over her for a while, as though making absolutely sure that she was ok. His eyes resting on her exhausted face, he knew he'd never be able to express just how grateful he was to her. He wrapped an arm around her, his son resting in the other, fast asleep. Draco smiled to himself in the darkness.

In the early hours of August 6th 2006, Draco discovered that it was entirely possible for him to hold the whole world in his arms and he couldn't have been a happier man.

* * *

 **Author's notes:** _This is my favourite chapter so far, so I hope you like it! Once again, thank you for all your lovely reviews and a special thank you to the 'guest' reviewing every single chapter - I'm really happy to hear people are enjoying the story. Lots more to come!_


	13. Chapter 13

Draco awoke the next morning to the sound of his son crying in the cot beside him. He swung his legs out of bed, standing and scooping Scorpius up, holding him to his chest.

"Shh, shh, Scorpius," he soothed him, rocking him gently. He started pacing slowly around the room and it wasn't long before Scorpius stopped crying. He gazed up at Draco with those big, brown eyes and Draco couldn't help but smile. "Yes, hello. Hello Scorpius." The baby continued staring at him in wonder - maybe parenting wouldn't be as difficult as Draco expected it to be, after all.

After a short while, Scorpius fell back asleep and Draco lay him back down in the cot gently. It was gone eight in the morning when a healer came in to run some tests on Astoria, but decided to delay considering she was still fast asleep. It wasn't until just before eleven when Astoria finally stirred. She woke up feeling incredibly sore. She turned to see Draco sat in the chair, watching over Scorpius as he slept.

Hearing Astoria stir beside him, Draco turned to face her. She saw a faint smile playing on his lips.

"How's my baby?" she asked.

"He's fine. He's perfect. How are you?" Draco asked, looking concerned.

"Sore," Astoria said, wincing as she pulled herself up. "I wish I could hold him." She stared longingly in the direction of the cot.

"Shall I bring him to you? You could try..."

"No, no," Astoria said certainly. "I need a while longer... need to get my strength back up."

* * *

Scorpius was two days old when Astoria finally felt strong enough to hold him in her arms independently. She sat propped against her pillows expectantly, smiling as Draco placed her son in her arms.

"Ok? You got him?" Draco asked. When Astoria nodded, he slowly eased his arms away, smiling from ear to ear as Astoria gazed lovingly down at Scorpius.

Astoria's family were due to visit later that day. Although Draco had written to inform them of Scorpius' birth two days previously, he'd asked that they give he and Astoria some space before coming to visit - something Astoria wanted, too. The birth had, after all, been quite an overwhelming and exhausting experience for both of them. Although clearly unhappy about the request, Astoria's family had agreed.

Her parents arrived mid-afternoon, along with Daphne.

"Astoria, sweetheart," her mum said, approaching Astoria's bed. "How are you? You look exhausted, you poor thing."

"I am," Astoria assured her, though she was smiling. "He was a lot of hard work."

She looked over to where Scorpius lay and the Greengrasses immediately congregated around the cot.

"Wow. That's the most Malfoy looking baby I've ever seen," Daphne said.

"Considering that I'm his father, I should hope so," Draco piped up. "And I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you." He was sat in his new favourite place, his chair positioned directly between Astoria's bed and Scorpius' cot, where he could watch over the both of them.

Even Astoria's father was nodding down in approval. "I can't believe I have a grandson," he said quietly. "Well done Astoria, I'm so proud of you."

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" Astoria said, beaming.

"He's pretty cute, I can't deny that," Daphne said, making her way over to her sister's bedside and hugging her tightly. Astoria winced slightly.

"And you can't even say it's the Greengrass genes, given your previous comment on how Malfoy he looks," Draco said smugly.

Daphne cracked a smile in Draco's direction. "Congratulations, sis. I can't believe you actually did it! How long was your labour?"

"Almost twenty-four hours. I don't even know how I got through it..."

"I guess you're made of stronger stuff than we gave you credit for, darling," her mother said. "Can I pick baby Scorpius up and have a cuddle?"

"I'd rather you left him while he sleeps, if you wouldn't mind," Draco said abruptly. Realising how his words had come across, he added: "I fed him not so long ago. I'm sure he'll wake soon enough, though."

A couple of hours later, each member of Astoria's family had had cuddles with Scorpius. Astoria had noticed Draco watching over them diligently the entire time.

"Make sure you support his head properly," he'd barked at Daphne as she took him from Astoria's mother.

Daphne's eyes had widened, surprised by Draco's abruptness. "Overprotective dad in the making," she'd muttered to Astoria under her breath.

When Astoria's father had asked Draco when his own parents would be visiting, Draco's cheeks had turned slightly pink. "They won't be visiting us here at the hospital," he'd admitted. "I'd rather they wait until we're settled in back at home."

* * *

Scorpius was five days old when Astoria was finally well enough to return home. Though given the all-clear to head back to the Manor, Astoria was still very weak and physically unable to care for Scorpius alone for the time being, so Draco took it upon himself to care for them both single handedly. Of course, he was offered help by Astoria's family - help he had refused. Astoria went through so much pain to bring Scorpius into the world, he felt the least he could do was look after them both. That didn't mean that Astoria's family didn't visit frequently - once a week, occasionally more - it just meant that Draco played the role of carer the way he liked it: without anyone interfering.

In no time at all, he became a dab hand at night feeds, nappy changing, and bath time. Although Astoria wasn't able to care for Scorpius alone, she helped as much as possible, and as the days passed by, she found herself capable of doing more and more. Despite the disappointment of not being able to play a more active role in her son's first few weeks on the planet, her heart swelled with pride every time she saw Draco interacting with their child. It was almost a year since she'd told him parenthood could be the making of him, and here he was proving her right.

One September night, Astoria stirred in the early hours. She rolled over, seeking the comfort of Draco's arms, to find that he wasn't in the bed. Rubbing her eyes sleepily, she reached across for her wand, casting lumos and climbing out of bed. She could see a light shining through a chink in the nursery door, and so she padded across the hallway and pushed the door open slowly, peeking around. There, she saw Draco fast asleep in the rocking chair; Scorpius was also asleep, laying on his father's bare chest, one of Draco's arms beneath him for support. She smiled to herself, staying in the doorway looking at them pair of them for almost ten minutes before she crept back across the landing and clambered back in to bed, still overwhelmed by the moment she'd witnessed between Draco and Scorpius.

* * *

Come mid-September, Astoria was feeling much more mobile and was happy to be playing a more active role in caring for Scorpius. After hours spent convincing Draco that she was ok, she'd started doing some of his night feeds alone; every time Scorpius cried, Draco would wake up, but she would insist that he stay in bed and try to get back to sleep. He rarely did until she joined him back under the covers.

One morning, Astoria was sat in the kitchen feeding Scorpius as she held him to her, when a letter soared through the open window. Once Scorpius had finished his bottle, she opened the envelope to find that the letter was from Blaise.

 _Draco,_

 _I'm not sure you've been receiving my letters. Perhaps it's my dopey owl. I'm hoping this one reaches you, so I'll reiterate:_

 _A big congratulations on the birth of your son. I hope he and Astoria are doing well, and that you're settling into life as parents._

 _Myself and Adrian would love to come and visit. I've got a present here for your boy. Let me know when is best for you and we'll be sure to come and meet your new addition._

 _Blaise_

Astoria frowned and reread the letter. Draco hadn't received any previous letters from Blaise as far as she was aware. Perhaps Blaise was right about his owl being dopey - but then again, perhaps Draco was choosing to ignore any written requests for invites to meet his son. Given Draco's tendency to be overprotective, the latter seemed much more credible.

It wasn't long before Draco joined her in the kitchen. Scorpius' eyes followed his dad as he made his way across the room. Draco stroked the top of his head gently, before leaning down to kiss Astoria on the cheek.

"Draco, have you been ignoring letters?" Astoria inquired, attempting not to make her tone too accusatory.

Draco's eyes darted to the letter lying on the table: Blaise. Again.

"Would you like some coffee?" he asked, making his way over to the kitchen counter.

"I'd like you to answer me, although I don't think I need you to. Draco, why have you been ignoring Blaise's letters? He wants to come and visit us, come and meet Scorpius."

"Yes, and he's not the only one, Astoria. But... I just don't want him here. I don't want any of them here." He leaned against the kitchen counter and sighed heavily. He'd known ignoring people's owls was going to catch up with him eventually.

"What do you - _why_? Your friends want to meet your son. Why is that such a bad thing?"

"They aren't my friends. We've been over this. It's my job to keep Scorpius safe. I don't just want any old person turning up on the doorstep wanting to get a look at him. Wanting to hold him. I just don't want it, Astoria. We're better off just the three of us."

Astoria glanced at him wearily. Not for the first time, she knew she had to tread carefully if she wanted the conversation to continue.

"I'm sorry, Draco, but I'm failing to see what harm having a couple of old _acquaintances_ over would do," she pressed him softly. "I'm not saying that I won't go along with your decision. I'm just saying help me understand what's doing on up there." She tapped her head.

Draco stared at his wife for a moment before making his way over to her and lifting Scorpius out of her arms. Scorpius waved his arms around enthusiastically. Draco offered a finger which Scorpius grabbed hold of immediately. Draco turned back to Astoria.

"Look, if you're worried I'll say the same for your friends, that isn't what this is about. If you want them to visit, to meet Scorpius, I'll have no qualms. But the people I used to associate with are not the kind of people I want around our son. Just trust me on this, Astoria. I know what I'm doing."

He stared at her intensely. Astoria stared right back. He raised his eyebrows, pushing her for a response.

Astoria sighed and shrugged. "Ok, fine. If you're sure that's what you want."

Detecting her exasperated tone, Draco walked across the room, placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing her on the head. "It is," he reassured her.

Astoria looked up at his face for a moment before succumbing to his hug. She reached out and stroked her baby's cheek softly with a finger. Standing there, the three of them, she had to admit that when they were alone she did feel at her most comfortable. And although there were certain people that she would never even consider cutting out of her life, perhaps Draco was right - perhaps they should be more careful of the company they keep now there was a small child involved.

* * *

Over the next couple of months, Scorpius continued to grow. His first smile had been a heartwarming moment; Astoria had been sat on the floor playing with Scorpius on his play mat, Draco reading in the armchair, when it had happened.

"Draco, he's smiling!" Astoria had exclaimed.

Draco had looked up from his book immediately and joined his family on the floor. As his son lay on his back on the floor, smiling away, he'd laughed because it filled his heart with joy. Shortly after, Astoria had realised that she'd never seen any baby photos of Draco so he'd headed off to retrieve some. As he and Astoria had looked through them, Astoria had giggled and clapped, over the moon at how similar the photos were to their son that lay before them.

"You'd think it was the same baby!" she'd said with delight, taking a photo and holding it next to Scorpius for comparison.

Draco smiled. "I can't argue with that."

* * *

It wasn't long before December rolled around, Christmas just around the corner. The Greengrasses had decided to have a gathering this year, with all the extended family invited and it had taken Astoria days to convince Draco that they should attend.

"Are you sure you'll even be up to it?" Draco had said. The events of last Christmas were still fresh in his mind, so he'd love nothing more than to worm his way out of Astoria's family reunion.

Astoria's condition had deteriorated since giving birth and Draco was now caring for her and Scorpius, at best, two or three days a week. Although she wasn't as bad as she'd been during the pregnancy, her bad days were much more frequent than they had been before she became pregnant. Draco had been fantastic; she admired his strength and his patience.

By now, Scorpius was a frequent smiler. He'd also started to reach out for things, and was particularly fond of touching Draco's face and grabbing fistfuls of Astoria's hair. Aside from each other, Astoria and Draco saw Astoria's mother, father and sister the most frequently; they'd kept up their weekly visits (at the very least) since Scorpius' birth and occasionally, if Astoria was feeling up to it, they'd take Scorpius around theirs for an afternoon. Although Draco seemed to trust Astoria's parents with his child, she could tell he was still apprehensive around Daphne, watching over her from a distance whenever she interacted with the baby.

Lucius and Narcissa visited less frequently, perhaps once every few weeks; that was more than enough for Draco, and he certainly never made the effort to take Scorpius to visit them. Aside from family, Astoria had received the odd visit from friends but these had slowly ceased to happen - something which can be expected when you're the first in your friendship group to have a child. She didn't take it personally, and she knew Draco was secretly satisfied that her friends no longer came around. In fact, he was so obsessed with keeping people away from Scorpius that she'd witnessed him casting protective enchantments around the Manor one morning. Although she thought it a little strange, she'd left him to it; he still had no idea she'd been watching him put of the bedroom window that day.

With only four days to go until Christmas day, and Draco having finally agreed to attend the Greengrass reunion, the two of them were now wrapping gifts while Scorpius slept in his cot.

"This time last year, we'd just found out you were pregnant," Draco pointed out, as he scribbled some greetings in the cards they should have sent out by owl a while back.

"Time's gone so fast, hasn't it?"

Draco nodded in agreement.

Four days later, after Draco, Astoria and Scorpius spent the morning opening presents, the Greengrass Christmas gathering was in full swing: there were aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, second cousins. Draco was completely out of his depth - many of these relatives of Astoria's hadn't even been invited to the wedding.

He'd spent the last hour sat on a chaise longue in the corner of the room, nursing a sleeping Scorpius and barely communicating with anyone around him. He looked down at his son and felt a twinge of jealousy over the fact that he was able to sleep through the whole ordeal, should he choose to. Of course, Draco was completely oblivious to the fact that over on the opposite side of the room Astoria and Daphne were stood talking about him.

"Biggest Scrooge award goes to..." Daphne said, looking purposefully in Draco's direction.

Astoria looked across at her husband and laughed, hitting her sister playfully on the arm. "Come on, he came didn't he? Don't be so hard on him, he feels pretty uncomfortable at things like this. And I don't really blame him - _I_ don't even know the next best thing about half of the people in this room!"

Daphne laughed, still watching Draco from afar. "He never used to be like this at school though," she mused. "He used to love being the centre of attention."

"He's not the same person as he was back then, Daph. He'd been through too much."

"He's a bit... well, he's a bit _odd,_ isn't he?"

"Daphne!" Astoria scorned, albeit softly. "He might have his peculiar ways about him, but he's been amazing since Scorpius came along, you can't deny him that. Half of the time, he's caring for me _and_ a newborn baby."

Daphne nodded. "Ok, I'll hand him that. He's a pretty good dad. He's certainly served me a few slices of humble pie. You can't hold it against me for worrying though, in the beginning. I mean, the rumours were enough to make your hairs stand on end... Has he ever - "

"He's told me. Everything. We don't keep secrets from each other." Daphne looked at Astoria hopefully. Astoria rolled her eyes. "If you think I'm going to go there, you can forget it. Everything he's told me stays between me and him. It took a lot for him to tell me the things he did. I won't ever repeat them to anyone."

"Well aren't you the doting wife," Daphne mocked her sister gently.

Astoria looked back across the room, watching Draco nursing their baby in his arms. "I don't think I could have asked for a better father to my child," she said, smiling.

"Oh, yak," Daphne jested. "Time for me to move on and talk with some family members who are more like me: _single_!"

Laughing at her sister, Astoria made her way over to join Draco who now had a stirring Scorpius led in his lap. He looked up as Astoria approached.

"Hey," he said.

"How are you? Have you spoken to anyone yet?" Astoria enquired.

Draco scowled. "Anyone who approached really, which wasn't many... How late are we going to stay? It's not good for Scorpius to be out of his routine."

"We can't leave yet, Draco. It's not even two o clock yet. Give him to me," Astoria said, stretching out her arms. Draco passed Scorpius up to her. "Hello," Astoria said in the voice she reserved especially for him. "Hello, sweetheart." She kissed Scorpius' cheek and held him to her. "Have you fed him?"

"Yes, and then he slept in my arm for a while." Draco looked over Astoria's shoulder and rolled his eyes upon noticing someone heading in their direction.

"Hello, Astoria dear," her aunty said once she'd reached them. "And this must be baby Scorpius. _Wonderful_ name. How _ever_ did you pick it?"

Draco detected the woman's undertones. Astoria did not.

"Oh, thank you," Astoria said, genuinely pleased at the comment. "Well, it's a family tradition of Draco's to name children after constellations, so we went from there, really." Astoria smiled in Draco's direction.

Her aunty looked down at him as though she'd only just noticed he was there. Astoria also failed to notice the look of distaste her aunty cast in Draco's direction.

"Really? How fascinating," she said. "Well, it is lovely to see you, and to meet young master Malfoy, here. It's good to finally see you out and about."

Draco didn't appreciate her emphasis on her final words. "Is there something you'd like to say?" he asked.

"I'm sorry?"

"I said, is there something you'd like to say... about the way Astoria and I choose to lead our lives?" Draco's tone was icy cool, but Astoria detected his temper rising immediately.

"Well, seeing as you asked, it has crossed my mind that Astoria wouldn't have to spend her days holed up in that place you call home if you didn't have such a shady past. And I know for a fact I'm not the only member of this family thinking it. Mind you, Astoria, if you will choose to marry a Death Eater, I suppose that's the price one has to pay..."

Draco rose from the chaise longue; Astoria, who had been bouncing baby Scorpius in her arm, ceased doing so.

"How _dare_ you talk down to us," Draco spat. "You don't know a thing about me." Draco jabbed a finger threateningly in Astoria's aunt's direction. His voice had risen, and a few people had turned to stare.

Astoria's aunt squared up to him, though she was a good couple of inches shorter than he was. "Oh, I know enough. And I also know you need to be careful, boy, because people are starting to talk and I don't just mean those in present company."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Astoria's aunty scoffed. "And to think that they call you intelligent... People are starting to talk. About you and Astoria."

Draco felt anger bubbling inside of him. He'd lived years shrouded in suspicion; he wanted better for his son. He could handle gossip and rumours about himself, but if people were starting to make up vicious lies about Astoria and Scorpius - the two people who meant everything to him - there was no guarantee he'd be able to turn the other cheek. He hoped that Astoria's aunt was just trying to provoke a reaction out of him.

Astoria decided to play it cool. "Forgive me aunty, but could you remind me when mine and Draco's lives became anybody's business but our own? Let the rumour mill spin, if it must. As if the opinions of lowlife gossipmongers would bother us. And if _you're_ criticising the way we choose to live, perhaps you should try taking a long look at yourself and uncle Christopher, first."

"I'm allowed to show concern, Astoria," her aunt said, turning to face her. "Your mother is worried about you spending so much time up in that Manor. Says you and the baby hardly ever go out..."

Astoria's mother hurried over. "Hilda, are you causing trouble?" she murmured, touching her sister's elbow purposefully.

"She's implying that I'm keeping you locked away at home," Draco said to Astoria. "And before this escalates any further, I'm going to take Scorpius and I'm going to leave. I had enough grief from this family last year, I'd rather my son's first Christmas was an occasion to remember for the right reasons."

"Draco..." Astoria felt herself tense up as he took Scorpius from her arms. She cast him an apologetic look.

"Mum," Daphne had come to join the commotion. The whole room was now silent, bar the music. "Draco and Astoria took enough shit last Christmas. I think aunt Hilda should be the one to leave, don't you?"

"Thank you Daphne, but that isn't necessary," Draco said coolly. "While I appreciate your efforts, I have no intention of staying. Like I said, I don't want my son's first Christmas ruined." Scorpius started to squirm in Draco's arms and began to cry. "Shh," Draco soothed him, clutching Scorpius to his chest. "I know, son, I know. We're leaving. We know perfectly well where we're not wanted."

Holding his son tightly, Draco turned and made his way from the room. The anger he'd felt at the thought of people gossiping about his family had made him feel as though he were suffocating. Scorpius acted as a calming draught; a reminder to keep his cool.

"Mum, I'm sorry, but you know I'm going to have to go with them. It's our first Christmas as a family," Astoria said. "I'm sorry everyone couldn't just leave Draco alone for one day."

"Ria, I'm really sorry," Daphne said, pulling her sister into a hug.

"Don't worry, it's not exactly a surprise," Astoria said quietly. "It's just a shame that people can't see past it. See what an amazing dad he is..."

Daphne took Astoria's hands in hers and looked her right in the eye. "He is. I know that, you know that. Even mum and dad know that. You go, have the perfect afternoon together. I might come up to the Manor tomorrow, if Draco doesn't mind."

Astoria smiled, grateful for her sister's support. "Thank you," she whispered. Giving her mother and father a quick hug goodbye, Astoria left the room, following the sound of Scorpius' cries.

* * *

An hour later, Draco, Astoria and Scorpius were settled back in the Manor. Draco had arranged the perfect setup on the floor: pillows, blankets, mulled wine, Christmas pudding and the fire roaring. He'd tried to get Scorpius off to sleep for a short while but his son was stubborn, making it quite clear he had no intentions of sleeping. Eventually, Draco had brought him back downstairs and laid him down on his baby mat, where he now lay kicking his legs playfully.

Draco made himself comfortable, laying on his side next to the baby mat, tickling Scorpius' tummy lazily. Scorpius gave a small smile and it warmed Draco's heart. Though he'd felt incredibly angry at the mere thought of people gossiping about his wife and child, he was trying not to dwell on what Astoria's aunt had said. He was proud that he'd removed himself from the situation before it got out of control.

Astoria had disappeared. A short while later, she came back clutching a perfectly wrapped box, complete with bow. Draco watched her with interest as she made her way over.

"You got him another present?"

"No," Astoria said, smiling. "This one's for you." She held the box out to him.

"For me? But you gave me my presents this morning."

"I saved this one for last." She waved the box around, impatient for him to take it.

Draco took the box with curiosity and carefully unwrapped it. Inside was a camera and a short note from Astoria:

 _For capturing all the happy memories and cherishing them forever. x_

The words were so simple, yet they almost brought a tear to Draco's eye. It was moments like these when it really hit him that Astoria understood him inside out.

"Astoria, I..." He looked up at her. "I don't know what to say." His voice cracked.

"You like it then?" She smiled.

"I do. It's so thoughtful. Thank you." He and Astoria stared at each other in deep understanding.

Scorpius gurgled beside them, seeking attention, and the moment between Draco and Astoria was broken. Draco laughed at Scorpius as Astoria lay down next to him. "Someone likes attention," she said, tapping his nose softly. She looked back up at Draco who was sat watching her. "I'm sorry about what happened. Again. Perhaps we shouldn't attempt to spend another Christmas with my family."

"I doubt we'd have any more luck with mine," Draco said. "And there's no need to apologise, it wasn't you making snide comments. You shouldn't feel you need to apologise for other people's wrong-doing."

"I guess I just feel responsible. My family give you nothing but grief."

Draco shrugged and thought for a moment. "Now I come to think of it, it is nothing if a little hypocritical for your family to despise me so much because of where I came from." Astoria shot him a confused look. "Oh, come on, Astoria. I knew of your family before you and I got together. The Greengrasses aren't as squeaky clean as they like to make out. No Death Eaters, of course, but they certainly support blood purity wholeheartedly. And they may hate me, but I'd put money on them being glad you chose to marry a Malfoy rather than any old mudblood."

Astoria opened her mouth to argue but she knew Draco was absolutely right. Instead, she chose to scorn his use of bad language.

"Sorry," Draco said dismissively. He sighed. "Anyhow, to get back to the point, I don't give two hippogriff shits what your aunt thinks of me. I was only angry because she implied that your mother believes I'm keeping you in the house against your will."

Astoria shook her head. "She doesn't think that. My aunt was just stirring the cauldron, looking for a reaction. Believe it or not, you're not the first person she's tried it with... I was really proud of you for walking away. I think our son has had the effect on you that I foresaw he would..."

Draco looked down at his son again and felt nothing but love. "I think so, too..."

"What she said about people talking though," Astoria said anxiously. "Do you think it's - "

Draco held up a hand to silence her. "For now, it doesn't matter. Let's just stay as we are. If we're faced with hostility when we start taking Scorpius out in public, we will deal with it. It's not something I want you to dwell on, Astoria. We guessed it would be this way anyway. We just have to face whatever's coming when the time comes."

Astoria nodded. "Oh, by the way," she said, remembering her sister's departing words. "I think Daphne would like to spend the day with us tomorrow. She was low-key singing your praises earlier, after you left the room. She rates you, you know, since Scorpius came along."

Draco raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Is that so?"

* * *

Some hours later, Scorpius had finally relented to his tiredness and let Draco and Astoria lay him down to sleep in his cot before climbing into bed themselves. Under the covers, Draco wrapped his arms around Astoria.

"I hope what happened didn't ruin today for you," she whispered, looking up at him through the darkness.

"It didn't," he assured her. "It's forgotten, ok? I assure you I will hold nothing but happy memories of Scorpius' first Christmas."

"You know a while back, when you said we're better off just the three of us?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm starting to see what you meant... you were right."

"Aren't I always?" His deadpan humour had returned.

Astoria laughed. "And modest with it..." After a minute's silence, Astoria spoke again. "Happy Christmas, Draco."

"Happy Christmas, Astoria."

It was the night of December 25th 2006 when Draco lay awake holding Astoria while she slept, wondering how many of their son's milestones she would be fortunate enough to witness. Their first Christmas together as a family was the best gift he could have asked for; the second best, a camera to capture all of their happiest moments. He knew that one day, they were all he'd have left of Astoria. All he could do was hope they'd have many more Christmases together before that were the case.


	14. Chapter 14

Much to Draco's surprise, Daphne did join them at the Manor that Boxing Day. Although they didn't do anything interesting - just sitting around and talking - Astoria was really pleased that her sister had visited and that she was slowly warming to the idea of having Draco in the family. She'd even offered him a brief hug as she entered the Manor. He had responded by patting her awkwardly on the back. She'd made a mental note never to hug him again.

It was now several weeks into the new year and Scorpius was enjoying experimenting with sounds. Astoria would watch for hours as Draco sat face to face with their son, repeating the word 'dad' slowly and purposefully in hope that it would be Scorpius' first word. He and Astoria had a bet on what his first word would be; while Astoria had argued that it would most certainly be 'mum', she knew she was kidding herself and she honestly didn't mind if it wasn't. Draco was investing so much time into encouraging their son to speak, she could hardly deny him the satisfaction of Scorpius' first word being 'dad', which it undoubtedly would be. Draco had goaded her into making the bet - it was his competitive nature shining through.

As it were, Scorpius could only make incoherent babbling sounds at present. He was only coming up to six months after all.

* * *

What was left of winter passed in no time at all. Scorpius was now seven months old, eating solids, and beginning to crawl. He'd also began the unpleasant process of teething. Draco was getting up at all hours of the night and early morning to cradle his son while he cried through the pain. Weakened pain relief potion seemed to help a little, but not enough to help him sleep through the night. Astoria, still exhausted and in pain a lot of the time, took over these duties whenever she could. Making her way down to the breakfast table in the mornings to find Draco, shadows under his eyes and nursing a mug of strong coffee, was making her feel incredibly guilty, especially as he didn't even like coffee. However, Draco insisted that she wasn't to worry.

* * *

Astoria's 25th and Draco's 27th birthdays passed fairly uneventfully, and it wasn't long before Scorpius was turning one year old.

On the morning of his birthday, Draco snapped a couple of photographs while Astoria helped him tear the wrapping paper from his presents. As midday approached, their families came together at the Manor to celebrate with some birthday cake and finger food. It was the first time the Malfoys and Greengrasses had been in the same room together since Draco and Astoria's wedding.

Narcissa was the first to have birthday cuddles with Scorpius; although she didn't see her grandson often, she rather enjoyed making a fuss over him when she did. Lucius watched on as Narcissa cooed over the baby, his boredom written plainly across his face.

"Do you remember your first birthday, Draco?" he said suddenly, reminiscently.

"Well, no. I was one," Draco said matter-of-factly. Daphne snorted with laughter from the other side of the room. Astoria elbowed her in the ribs.

"It was rather more spectacular than this," Lucius said, looking around disdainfully. "Many more attendees, too. Could no one else make it?"

"No one else was invited," Draco said, trying hard to keep the annoyance from his voice. "As you saw from our wedding, Astoria and I prefer to keep things on the quiet side."

"Well, there's quiet, and then there's this," Lucius scoffed, spreading his arms wide to emphasise the lack of people in the room.

"We're perfectly happy with the company we have here, thank you Lucius," Astoria said, attempting to save Draco from his father's vicious tongue.

Draco couldn't help but think he'd be closer to perfectly happy if his father wasn't amongst them.

Lucius smiled slowly. "I'm sure you are, dear. I'm sure you are..."

After eating together in an atmosphere you could slice with a knife, Lucius started enquiring as to Scorpius' development, while Scorpius sat on the floor, distracted by the toys he'd been gifted.

"Has he made any attempt to walk yet?"

"He can take a few steps if Astoria or I hold his hands," Draco said.

Lucius clucked his tongue. "You need to work him harder, or he's going to be a late developer."

"He's one, father. Babies typically begin walking any time up to a year and a half."

"The poor lamb was premature, don't forget," Narcissa piped up.

"Of course. I wonder why that was." Lucius cast a knowing glance across the room at his daughter-in-law.

Astoria avoided making eye contact with him. She was so thankful that she didn't have to share his company very often. Draco, understanding what his father was getting at, looked at Astoria who shook her head subtly. With Astoria's permission, he let the comment slide.

As the evening approached, Draco lay Scorpius down for a nap, and his and Astoria's families said their goodbyes. Once everyone was gone, Draco returned to the lounge to find Astoria clutching a photograph he'd left to develop - a family portrait from a couple of hours earlier, Astoria sat on the sofa holding Scorpius, Daphne and her parents to her right and Narcissa and Lucius to her left.

Draco made his way over and sat next to her, leaning in to see the photo.

"This is possibly the most awkward family photo I have ever seen," Astoria said. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry."

Draco took it from her for closer inspection. His father looked contemptuously into the camera for a brief second before casting a look of distaste in the Greengrass' direction; Narcissa was quickly attempting to fix her hair before posing with her nose in the air; Astoria's parents had their arms around each other at the most uncomfortable of angles; Astoria was forcing a smile while Scorpius screwed up his face the way he usually did when he was making a mess in his nappy. The only person who looked mildly photogenic was Daphne.

Draco cast the photograph aside with a short laugh. "When you said we were perfectly happy with the company..." He didn't need to finish the sentence.

* * *

Scorpius woke up from his nap at six in the evening. Astoria popped on the tiny little shoes that Draco had bought him as a birthday gift and carried him out to the gardens where she found Draco sat reading at the garden table amongst the flower beds. Upon seeing his wife and son, he placed his book down and stood up.

"Shall we?" he gestured to the gardens beyond, suggesting they go for a stroll around them in the summer's evening warmth.

Astoria smiled, shifting Scorpius into one arm and linking her other through Draco's.

"Today didn't go too badly," she said thoughtfully. "I could tell you were dreading it..."

"Was it really that obvious?" Draco asked, looking straight ahead.

Astoria smiled again. "Only to the person who knows you best."

Draco turned to her, a smile pulling gently at the corners of his mouth.

"I'm sorry about what my father said," he said after a brief silence.

Astoria knew he was referring to the comment about wondering why Scorpius was premature.

"Oh, it's ok. He didn't think I'd be able to carry a child. I proved him wrong. It comes as no surprise that he finds it necessary to criticise me for something else. Anyway, we both need to stop apologising for the things our families say - it's neither of our faults."

Draco laughed softly. "It's funny isn't it, as humans we struggle to apologise for our own wrong-doings but jump at the chance of apologising for others' words or actions... I've lost count of the amount of times I've had to apologise to you on behalf of my father."

"It's not half as much as I've had to apologise for things my family have said to you."

"Only because we see your family more often," Draco pointed out, shooting his wife a look that said 'you know I'm right'.

As they drew nearer to the water fountain, Astoria groaned under the effort of carrying Scorpius for so long. She bent to place him down on the grass, taking hold of both his hands and helping him take a few steps.

Draco strolled on ahead and perched himself on the edge of the fountain, sitting and watching Astoria beaming down as she helped Scorpius walk across the lawns. Watching his son carefully, he was certain that he seemed fairly confident on his feet. When Astoria was just a few steps away from the fountain he held up a hand to stop her.

"What is it?"

"Let go of his hands," Draco said. "I want to see if he can walk."

Astoria sighed. "Draco, stop worrying about what your father said. Scorpius is not going to be a late developer."

"No, it's not that," Draco insisted. "Please. I just want to see if he can walk on his own."

"Why?"

"Because this is the exact spot where I took my first steps," Draco told her.

Astoria smiled, immediately warming to the idea. She got down on her knees on the grass and kissed her son on the head. With Draco's arms outstretched, Astoria slowly let go of Scorpius' hands. The two of them watched as Scorpius wobbled from side to side, before taking a few small, uncertain steps towards Draco. He didn't quite make it all the way. Draco leaned forward and scooped him up just before he hit the floor.

"Holy Salazar, he did it!" Astoria said, covering her mouth with her hands. "He actually did it! He walked!"

Draco, grinning from ear to ear, lifting his son high into the air, before bringing him back down and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "My clever boy," Draco said.

Scorpius started to giggle innocently, which in turn made Draco and Astoria start laughing, too.

"I can't believe he did it!" Astoria said, standing up and putting an arm around Draco's waist, reaching up on tiptoe to give Scorpius a well done kiss.

"I can," Draco said confidently, looking proudly at his son. "He's a smart kid. Must take after his father..."

"Hey!" Astoria said, pretending to be affronted. She hit Draco playfully on the arm.

He laughed softly. "At least he has your eyes..." he teased.

* * *

Two months later, Astoria was having an incredibly bad day; she'd woken up feeling weak and shaky. Draco had brought Astoria her potions from the bathroom and was helping her take them, when Scorpius started crying from his room. Draco gave Astoria an apologetic look.

"It's fine," she said weakly. "Go to him."

"Do you want me to see if your mother can have him for a few hours?"

"They're away for the weekend," Astoria croaked, before coughing and drinking down the rest of her potion.

Draco sighed heavily. "We'll manage. I'll take him downstairs, give him breakfast, set him up with some toys, then I'll come back to check on you. Maybe you should try and get back to sleep."

Astoria nodded, lacking in energy so badly that she couldn't even bring herself to respond verbally. With that, Draco disappeared. When he returned 45 minutes later, he found his wife fast asleep, a faintly pained expression etched across her face. The guilt rose inside of him, as it always did. He sat with her for a while, stroking her hair, before making his way back downstairs to keep an eye on Scorpius.

While downstairs, Draco sat lost in his thoughts for a long while. He'd rarely seen Astoria looking worse than she had that morning. Though he painted on a brave face for her and acted as though everything would be ok, the fear was eating at him inside. She'd certainly deteriorated since giving birth to Scorpius; every time Astoria had a bad day, Draco would worry that it was the start of a slippery slope towards the end. She always seemed to bounce back though, some times sooner than others. When she was suffering, all he could do was make her as comfortable as possible. He hated himself for not being able to take her pain away.

As lunchtime approached, Draco took Scorpius upstairs and woke Astoria gently. She hadn't eaten since yesterday's dinner.

"Are you up to eating?" he asked in a hushed voice.

Astoria rubbed her eyes sleepily. "Maybe just some plain toast..."

Half an hour later, after managing a few mouthfuls of food, Astoria lay back against her pillows and smiled weakly; Draco was sat at the foot of the bed holding Scorpius at arms length.

"Dad," he said, moving his mouth slowly. "Da-ddy. Daaad."

Scorpius frowned at his father in concentration.

"Come on, son," Draco said. "Dad... Dad."

Scorpius suddenly shrieked with laughter before speaking very quickly. "Dadadadadad," he said.

Draco's eyes widened with surprise. Astoria felt as though the moment brought her to her senses; she watched her son more carefully.

"Dadadad," Scorpius carried on. "Dadadada."

"Dad," Draco said simply, before waiting with baited breath.

"Dad," Scorpius repeated after a long pause, his big, brown eyes staring up at Draco.

Draco made an excited noise Astoria had never heard him make before. "He said it! He said dad!" Draco laughed jubilantly. He turned to face Astoria to find her eyes swimming with tears. "Astoria..?" he said quietly, dropping the excited tone.

Astoria wiped her eyes and smiled. "It means the world to you, doesn't it?" she whispered.

"It really does," Draco said sincerely. He edged closer to her. "Why are you crying, is it the pain?"

"No," Astoria shook her head. "I don't know, I'm just overwhelmed. You both just make me so happy. Even when I'm in this state, you and Scorpius fill my life with happiness."

Draco smiled sadly. He climbed up onto the bed, Scorpius in one arm. He placed his other around Astoria and pulled her weak form towards him. "That's what we're here for," he whispered. "Now we just have to teach him to say mum..."

Astoria gave a small laugh, trying hard to ignore the pain in her chest. Despite everything, she was still grateful for the way her life had panned out. Grateful that she had a loving husband and a beautiful baby boy. It didn't stop her being scared though; scared of everything she was surely going to miss. In that moment, she held on to Draco for dear life. Seeming to read her mind he held her tighter, and the two of them lay watching Scorpius as he babbled continuously, perched happily on Draco's arm, Astoria's head leaning on Draco's shoulder.

"You and Scorpius really are everything to me," Draco said softly.

Astoria closed her eyes, trying to hold back stream of tears that so desperately wanted to flow.

"And you're everything to me," she whispered back.


	15. Chapter 15

As the next two and a half years passed, Scorpius transformed into an incredibly intelligent child and, as it were, Draco couldn't have been more proud of him. He fast outgrew simple toys, and much preferred the challenge of a puzzle. He also paid a great interest in books, with his vocabulary stretching beyond anything you would expect for a child of his age. Every night, Draco would sit on the edge of Scorpius' bed and read him stories in the candlelight - Scorpius would hang off of his every word, becoming most upset when Draco would close the book and announce it was time to sleep. Draco would leave Astoria to do the tucking in and the goodnight kisses, before extinguishing the candle and heading for the comfort of his own bed.

One night, Astoria caught Draco reading Scorpius extracts from a book which was far too grown up for him - it wasn't even fictional.

"Whats'at daddy?" Scorpius would ask whenever Draco would reach a particularly long word.

When the two of them were in bed later that night, Astoria decided to question his choice of late night reading.

"Whatever book that was, I'm not sure it was quite suitable for a child Scorpius' ages, you know..."

"How else is he going to learn?"

"Draco, he's not even four years old yet. He should be having fun, not having you read textbooks aloud to him."

"He _was_ having fun. Didn't you notice how he was holding onto me and staring at the pages as I turned them?"

Astoria laughed softly. "If you say so."

"You'll be thanking me one day, Astoria, when we have a child genius for a son. I mean, I could have been if I hadn't been... preoccupied, so..."

Astoria laughed again. She couldn't stop herself. Draco turned his head slowly, glaring at her. She covered her mouth with her hand in an attempt to stifle her laughter.

"Why are you laughing? You think I couldn't have been a child genius?"

"No, no. Not saying that at all," Astoria said. She tried to keep a straight face but couldn't, and burst into a fit of renewed giggles. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" she squealed as he continued to shoot her daggers.

"Obviously you don't quite appreciate my level of intellect."

"Draco, stop!" She couldn't stop laughing.

Draco smirked and shook his head in good humour. A wave of desire suddenly washed over him - Astoria's laugh was like a love potion, even when she was laughing at his expense. He slid a hand up her bare back and pulled her towards him with a surprising sense of urgency. Draco understood Astoria's body and what it needed better than she did; she'd once asked him if he was a legilimens as well as an occlumens. He'd laughed at that.

She gasped quietly as his leg slotted between hers. He considered her for a moment, eyes flickering back and forth between hers before their lips met and he bit hers gently. Her eyes closed tightly as his hand found its way between her legs, her heart beating hard against her ribcage in anticipation, even after six years. He sighed softly as she gripped his length and it wasn't long before she was welcoming the familiar feeling of him inside of her.

They finished together, making every effort to keep quiet. After a quick cleaning spell, Astoria sought the strength of Draco's arms and it wasn't long before her shallow breath reached Draco's ears. She'd fallen asleep, her head on his shoulder, hair fanned out across his bare chest, just the way he liked it.

* * *

August 6th ticked around: it was Scorpius' birthday and after four years of hiding him away from the wizarding world, Draco and Astoria decided it was time to take their son to Diagon Alley. The decision wasn't made lightly but they both knew it was for the best. Scorpius had to experience the real world; in his four years, he'd only ever been to Draco or Astoria's parents' and - on very few occasions - to fields or other outdoor places within close proximity to the Manor.

Back when they got together, the press had shown Draco and Astoria very little attention. They'd made it into the gossip column a couple of times (which his parents had clearly failed to notice) and their wedding got the briefest of mentions in Witch Weekly - speculation of course, as the day was kept tightly under wraps. Other than that, there had just been an announcement published on the birth of their child. As far as they were aware, that was about it, although Draco refused to read the Prophet or even have a copy in the house.

"I've kept my head down for years," he said as they discussed taking Scorpius out. "Surely they have better things to discuss than my personal life by now."

"Only one way to find out," Astoria said bravely.

That afternoon, they apparated straight to Diagon Alley and headed for an ice cream. Scorpius ate his knickerbocker glory with a look of true delight on his face, his legs swinging to and fro; Astoria had chosen a variety of fruit flavoured sorbets, and Draco had opted for salted caramel ice cream. Although they were sat outside in the sunshine, they were able to remain fairly inconspicuous; no-one even glanced in their direction. The longer they went under the radar, the more relaxed Draco felt.

After almost an hour (Scorpius was a slow eater) Draco settled the bill and made his way to Gringotts to sort out a children's account for Scorpius while Astoria took Scorpius up and down the Alley, holding his hand as he stared around in wonderment.

"Eagle owl!" he shrieked with excitement as they reached Eeylop's, pointing towards an eagle owl asleep on his stand outside of the door.

Astoria smiled and ruffled her son's hair gently. "Clever boy, Scorpius," she praised him.

It wasn't long before she spotted Draco walking towards them. She noticed a couple of people casting scathing looks in his direction but decided it was best not to mention anything. It was hardly surprising - of the three of them, he was bound to be the one who drew attention. Astoria's face wasn't half as well known amongst witches and wizards as her name.

"Daddy, you're back!" Scorpius shouted as Draco reached them. "I saw an eagle owl!"

"That's great, little man," Draco said, offering his son a small smile. "How about we go and pick you out a couple of books? Mummy thinks the ones I'm reading you at the moment are too sophisticated."

"What's so-fis-ca-ted?" Scorpius gazed up at his father, mouth open.

"Never mind. Would you like some new books or would you prefer something else?"

"Sweets! Mummy said I can go sweet shop!"

Draco looked slyly at Astoria. "Of course she did... ok, books and sweets, and then back home to see nanny and grandpa, and aunty Daphne, yes?"

Scorpius nodded and raised his arms in the air, wanting to be picked up. "Lift me. I want to be big like daddy."

Draco chuckled. "No, Scorpius, you can walk. Hold mummy's hand."

The three of them made their way to Flourish and Blotts, where Scorpius picked out three children's titles with a little help from Draco. When Draco took the books to the counter the shop assistant serving him muttered something under his breath.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that," Draco said. "Should I take my custom elsewhere?"

"No, sir, not at all," the assistant said hurriedly, taking Draco's gold and passing him the books in a bag.

Without saying thank you, Draco turned to find himself face to face with Harry and Ginny Potter. He stared at them for a moment and they stared right back.

"Wow," Harry said, unsure of what to say. After a long pause: "It's been a while... we thought you'd - "

"Emigrated? Dropped dead?" Draco offered. "Your concern is touching, Potter. How comforting to know I'm still on your mind."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "You haven't changed one bit." His tone wasn't unfriendly.

"Oh, you'd be surprised," Draco said coolly. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." His eyes sought Astoria and Scorpius amongst the crowd and he made to leave, glancing back over his shoulder as he went.

"Was that - "

"Keep walking..." Draco urged his wife, and the three of them hurried from the store, heading in the direction of the sweet shop.

"So, come on," Astoria pressed on. "Did I just see you talking to Harry Potter?"

"For the _briefest_ of moments, now can we change the subject?"

Draco and Astoria strolled around the sweet shop after Scorpius as he ran excitedly from one display to the next. He'd never seen so many sweets in his entire life. They'd been in the store for almost ten minutes when Astoria became uncomfortably aware of two people staring at them from around the corner of a chocolate frog stand. Feeling a little paranoid, Astoria glanced around to find they weren't the only ones: many of the shop's customers were either glancing nervously in their direction or outright staring at them. Some were whispering behind their hands.

Scorpius was the next to notice. "Why is so many people looking at us?" he asked innocently.

Draco, who had been crouched down at his son's level, looked around immediately to see what his wife and son already had. He stood abruptly and glared around the store, turning his head manically in all directions.

"Can I help any of you?" he said loudly, angrily.

Many looked away, but a few remained staring in their direction. One man and woman in particular continued to speak to each other in hushed voices before looking back at Draco.

"Something to say?" Draco barked, taking a step towards them.

They couple exchanged nervous glances, before hurrying to leave the store.

Scorpius looked up at Astoria, trying to make sense of what was going on. "Mummy?"

Astoria bent down and scooped her son up into her arms, not taking her eyes off of her husband.

"Why don't you slither back under whatever rock you've been hiding under?" someone called from the other side of the shop.

Draco turned abruptly and strode off in the direction of where the voice came from. He saw a wizard, around the same age as him. He recognised him from Hogwarts, but didn't care enough to try and recall his name.

"Say that again," he demanded.

"I'm not scared of you, Draco Malfoy!" he said, although his wavering voice suggested otherwise.

The entire store had gone quiet now and everyone was looking around at the commotion.

"Really? Well perhaps you should be," Draco said, his tone threatening.

"Mummy, what's going on?" Scorpius was starting to sound frightened now. Astoria held him to her tightly and he buried his face into her neck.

"Draco," Astoria called softly. "Let's go. Don't waste your time on them."

Draco turned to look at his wife. He knew she was speaking sense. He turned and made to leave as Astoria and Scorpius headed towards the door.

"That's it!" someone else called. "Get lost, you and your freakish family!"

Draco turned sharply on his heel, his wand drawn within the blink of an eye, and marched over to the person who had dared insult his family. He jabbed his wand directly into the man's throat.

"Say that one more time!" Draco yelled, emphasising every word. The man held Draco's gaze, but didn't dare open his mouth again. "Say one more word against my family and it'll be the last thing you do."

Astoria watched on nervously from inside the door, Scorpius still nuzzled against her. She silently willed Draco to just drop it and walk away.

As Draco stood with his wand on the man's throat, the word freakish echoed around his head. Death Eater: that'd be an understandable comment. Criminal, even. But freakish? He didn't understand.

"You said freakish. Why would you say that?" Draco asked, his tone still dangerous.

The man gulped. "As if you don't know what I'm on about," he said quietly.

Draco's eyes narrowed. He genuinely had no idea what the man was on about. He sensed that other people in the room did, though. He looked over his shoulder, and noticed people were still whispering, although they stopped when they noticed him looking at them. Draco lowered his wand and took a step back from the man. He looked at Astoria, her eyes filled with desperation and Scorpius with his face buried against her. Draco could hear him crying.

"Draco, please," Astoria mouthed, indicating that they should leave with a small nod in the direction of the door.

After hesitating for a few moments longer, he turned slowly and made his way back to his family, people starting to whisper again as he went.

Once the three of them were outside of the store, Draco tried to take Scorpius from Astoria but Scorpius clung to his mother's neck, his face still buried against her. Astoria shot Draco a worried glance.

"Scorpius," Draco said, a stern edge to his tone. "Scorpius, look at me."

Scorpius sniffed a few times before slowly turning around to look in Draco's direction, though not directly at him.

"Why are you crying? Are you frightened?" Draco asked.

Scorpius nodded, still refusing to make eye contact with his father.

Draco held his hands out expectantly to Astoria and she passed Scorpius to him, a knowing look in her eye.

"Hey. Hey, look at me, son," Draco said again. Scorpius did reluctantly. Draco's voice softened. "You don't ever have to be scared when I'm around. Ok? Everything is fine. Daddy just had a little disagreement with some people in the sweet shop because they were saying some things that weren't very nice. There is no need to be frightened. You are safe. Completely safe. Ok?"

Scorpius chewed his lip and nodded slowly. "Ok, daddy," he said quietly. He wrapped his little arms around Draco's neck and hugged him tightly. Draco held his son to him, hoping he wasn't scared any longer.

"Home?" he said to Astoria with a sigh.

"Home," Astoria agreed, and within seconds they vanished from Diagon Alley, reappearing inside the Manor.

* * *

Scorpius remained pretty quiet for the rest of his birthday. He didn't even get excited when Astoria's family showed up baring gifts. He muttered his thanks, before running off back to where Draco and Astoria were sat and settling himself between them. Draco and Astoria exchanged worried glances; Draco knew he was acting strangely because of the incident in Diagon Alley.

They had dinner all together around 6 o clock, and then Scorpius halfheartedly blew out his candles and nibbled on a small slice of birthday cake. Astoria's family left a couple of hours later, with Scorpius already fast asleep on one of the sofas. Draco picked him up carefully and carried him upstairs while Astoria waved off her parents and sister.

Scorpius stirred, rubbing his eyes with his fists as Draco changed him into his bedclothes. "I'm tired, daddy," he mumbled sleepily.

"I know, Scorpius, that's why I'm putting you in your pyjamas," Draco said gently. "No bedtime story for you tonight."

Draco lay his son on his bed and pulled the cover up around him, tucking him in safely, just as Astoria usually did. Within seconds, Scorpius was fast asleep again.

"Night, Scorp," Draco whispered, pulling the door to quietly behind himself.

He crossed the hallway to his and Astoria's room to find Astoria already changed into her pyjamas. She was in the process to taking off her make up at the dressing table. Draco sat down on the bed and laid back, groaning as he did so. Astoria glanced at him in the mirror then turned to face him.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Not really," Draco said. "What happened today shouldn't have happened."

"I know it shouldn't, but we knew to expect trouble. I guess that's what we get - "

"I don't mean that. I mean me. Losing my temper. I shouldn't have pulled my wand on that cretin, not in front of Scorpius."

Draco pushed his palms against his eyes, annoyed at himself.

Astoria sighed and made her way over to the bed. "You just felt protective. You reacted as I would have expected you to. Ok, maybe it wasn't the most sensible thing to do but I really don't blame you. It was a horrible situation to be in."

"I _scared_ him, Astoria. Did you see how he clung to you? He wasn't hiding from the people in the shop. He was hiding from me." Draco's voice cracked slightly with emotion. "I grew up with that, I know what that feels like. I do not want our son to be scared of me."

"Draco, it was one incident." She sat beside him on the bed and stroked his hair away from his face lovingly. "He'll have forgotten all about it tomorrow, you'll see."

"He wasn't himself for the rest of the day. He was quiet..." Draco's voice tailed away.

"He still came and sat between us, didn't he? Didn't make a fuss about you putting him to bed..."

"Poor kid was already exhausted."

"What's done is done. Let's just try and forget today ever happened." Astoria scooted along the bed and clambered under the covers.

There was a long silence before Draco spoke. " _Freakish_ ," he spat suddenly. "Seriously, Astoria, why freakish? Of all the things he could have said."

Astoria remained silent. She had found the comment a little unnerving. Merlin knows what rumours were circulating.

"Looks like your aunt wasn't stirring the cauldron when she said people were talking, after all."

"Draco, that was years ago."

"And time has changed nothing," Draco said bitterly, stripping to his underwear and climbing into bed. "I'm still a Death Eater in the eyes of everyone except you. Thirty years old and I'm still judged on the mistakes I made as a sixteen year old boy..."

Astoria looked at him warily before making herself comfortable and placing an arm across him. She stayed quiet. She wasn't sure anything she could say would make him feel better.

Draco flicked his wand idly at the curtains and they closed instantaneously, blocking out the dim daylight which lingered on outside. He settled down next to Astoria and they wished each other good night. While it took Astoria next to no time at all to drift off to sleep, Draco lay awake for a long while, contemplating what people could possibly be saying about him and his family. Eventually, more than an hour after Astoria, he fell asleep.

* * *

"Daddy... daddy..."

Draco groaned sleepily as he awoke to the sound of his son's voice. He turned slowly to make out Scorpius' outline in the darkness, clutching his stuffed dragon in his left hand.

"Scorp?" Draco frowned with concern.

Scorpius made his way slowly over to his parents' bed, sniffing.

"Scorpius, are you crying?" Draco whispered, making every attempt not to disturb Astoria, who had rolled away from him in her sleep and was now curled up with her back to him.

"I had a bad dream," Scorpius said, sniffing again.

Draco swung his legs out of the bed and sat looking at his son for a moment. He moaned sympathetically and leaned down to pick Scorpius up, sitting him on his lap. "Would you like to sleep in here tonight? Would that make you feel better?" He wiped away his son's tears gently with his thumb.

Scorpius nodded shyly. "Yes please, daddy." His voice was full of sadness.

Draco scooted closer to Astoria and lay Scorpius down beside him, pulling the blanket over them both. "Dragon didn't make you feel safe, then?" Draco asked in a whisper.

Scorpius shook his head furiously and wriggled closer to Draco as though he believed it would help him feel safer. After a long silence, Draco spoke again.

"Was it about what happened in the sweet shop? Your dream?" he pressed Scorpius softly.

"Yes," Scorpius whispered back after a long pause. "I dream the men hurted you and then chase me and mummy away." Scorpius started to cry again. "I didn't want to leave you like that, daddy. I don't want anyone to hurt you."

His words broke Draco's heart. He held his son close and stroked his hair softly. This was all his fault.

"Son, no one is going to hurt me, ok? I told you, it was just some people saying nasty things and I pulled out my wand to stop them saying those things. It's over. There isn't a problem anymore. No one is going to hurt you or me or mummy, Scorpius, you have to believe me."

Draco was desperate to console his four year old son. As a small boy, he'd never had anyone do that for him; everyone had thought him too young to understand what went on behind the closed doors of Malfoy Manor, but he'd understood more than they ever gave him credit for. Scorpius considered Draco's words for a long moment.

"Ok, daddy," he mumbled quietly, clutching his dragon tightly.

"So, think you can be a brave boy and go back to sleep? Do you feel safe now?"

"Yep, all safe. Safe with daddy. And mummy."

Draco smiled sadly. "Just for tonight, mind you," he warned Scorpius, as he shifted to get comfortable.

"Ok, daddy," Scorpius mumbled again, his eyes already closing and his mind drifting off into, hopefully, a much happier place.

* * *

Three months later, Astoria was experiencing a particularly bad spell with her condition. She'd been in bed for almost a week, when Draco woke up one morning also feeling incredibly ill. He managed to drag himself out of bed and down the corridor to the bathroom where he stayed for a long while for fear he was going to be sick. He staggered to the sink and splashed cold water over his face before making his way to Scorpius' room to check he was ok.

Scorpius, who was sat happily on his bedroom floor surrounded by books and toys, looked around at his father in bewilderment.

"Scorp, are you ok in here?" Draco asked croakily.

"I'm ok. You look sick. Like mummy."

Only a few weeks earlier, Draco and Astoria had sat Scorpius down and explained Astoria's condition to him as best they could to someone so young. It had to be done - Scorpius was already incredibly smart and had realised long ago that something wasn't quite right.

"But we're magic, can't we fix her?" he'd asked innocently after listening so carefully. Astoria had had to turn her face away to hide the tears in her eyes, and it hadn't proven much easier for Draco.

Of course, they had decided not to mention that Astoria's illness would lead to her death. There was a fair few years to go before they would have to face that difficult conversation.

"I'm fine," Draco said. "Your mum still isn't feeling great though, how about you go and keep her company while I make you some breakfast?"

"Ok daddy," Scorpius said indifferently, getting up and running across the landing to his parents' room.

Draco managed to make Scorpius some food and made his way back upstairs feeling absolutely terrible. He found Scorpius sat at the foot of the bed, Astoria holding his toy dragon.

"Dragon is looking after me," Astoria said quietly, noticing Draco looking at the toy. She smiled. Draco smiled back.

"No food on the bed, Scorpius," Draco said. "You can have your toast at the dressing table, come on."

Draco gave a sharp intake of breath after putting the plate down, clutching at his ribs, then started to cough badly. His head was pounding against his skull. He pushed against his temples in an attempt to ease the pain.

"Draco, we're going to have to go and stay with my parents," Astoria said gently. "You can't take proper care of him when you're in such a state."

"I can. I'll be fine," Draco said, perching on the edge of the bed and allowing himself to fall back.

"You need to learn to accept help when you need it," Astoria said, watching as Draco battled through another severe coughing fit.

"I don't like help, Astoria. You should know that by now."

"Well, I'm sorry, but this time you're just going to have to deal with it. You and I are both too sick to look after Scorpius properly."

Scorpius looked around. "Is daddy sick forever like mummy?" he asked, frowning.

Draco glanced at Astoria. His child's ability to speak whatever was on his mind was unnerving sometimes. Draco couldn't help but think the thoughts running through Scorpius' head were far too grown up for a child of his age. A young boy shouldn't be worrying about his parents being ill.

"No, Scorp. It's just temporary," he said. "You know when you get a sniffle sometimes? It's like that, but slightly worse. It'll be gone in no time."

* * *

Eventually, Draco gave in to Astoria's pleas, and they were now both laid up in bed at the Greengrass' while Astoria's mother and father cared for Scorpius. Draco had taken several different potions and was still feeling like death. He groaned to himself, twisting and turning under the covers in an attempt to get comfortable.

"Can you keep still?" Astoria grumbled. She was trying to sleep and Draco wasn't making things any easier.

"I can't get comfortable," Draco complained. "I don't know how you do it." He punched his pillow impatiently, settled down and pulled the blanket up to his chin. He was shivering.

"It's not as if I have a choice in the matter," Astoria pointed out, mildly irritated by such a stupid comment. Draco glanced at her apologetically and she softened straight away. She noticed him shivering and rubbed his back comfortingly. "You're really quite sick, aren't you?"

Draco nodded, his eyes falling closed. Astoria attempted to pull him in for a cuddle and he let her. She lay holding onto him as he drifted off to sleep, and she wasn't far behind.

A few days later, Draco was slowly building his strength back up and Astoria was feeling much better. The end of November was near and the pair of them lay on the sofa in her parents' lounge, a blanket draped over them. They'd decided to stay a few more days, until Draco was fully recovered. Daphne was around, too.

"You got the lurgy, Draco?" she'd teased as she'd made her way across the lounge.

"Something like that," Draco had said. "Don't come too close. Merlin forbid you should catch it, Daphne, you can't even deal with a broken nail."

Daphne had showed Draco her middle finger and Draco had glanced at Scorpius, who was sat with his legs crossed in the armchair playing with one of his toys.

"Not in front of the boy," Draco had said sternly, turning back to Daphne and coughing.

A couple of hours later, Astoria's father had summoned Draco upstairs to his office, closing the door behind them.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"Go careful, Vaughn, you almost sound concerned," Draco said.

"Well, I may still think you inadequate for my daughter but... perhaps I may have come to care for you just a little..." Astoria's father said thoughtfully. Draco's expression was one of surprise but, before he had time to respond, Vaughn went on: "Which is why I've made the decision to show you something. I take it you haven't been keeping up with the papers..?"

"I haven't," Draco admitted. "Astoria and I don't have the Prophet delivered. I don't care to line the pockets of those who can do nothing but put me down."

Vaughn sat down in a rather uncomfortable looking, wooden chair and indicated for Draco to sit opposite him. Draco obliged. Vaughn sighed heavily.

"Vivian warned me that I was best not telling you or Astoria, but... well, it just doesn't seem right to me..." He opened the drawer of his desk and rustled through some papers before pulling out a Daily Prophet clipping and handing it to Draco. "I've been holding onto this for a while now, toying with the idea of showing you."

Draco's eyes scanned the article, his eyes darting from left to right. The Prophet's usual choice words jumped out at him: Death Eater, broken family, fall from grace. Then, as he reached the bottom of the article, he saw what he assumed Vaughn must have been referring to.

 _One can only dare to imagine the lengths a Malfoy would go to to ensure that they are gifted with a powerful and all-important heir to their fortune. Though Draco and his wife have made attempts to avoid the limelight for many a year now (they were the first, notable Sacred Twenty-Eight couple to refuse us entry to their wedding), it has come to light that they were not seen in public once in the months leading up to Astoria falling pregnant. While evading the public eye has become the norm for the Malfoys - who have seldom been spotted out and about since the birth of their son, Scorpius - it should be noted that this extreme reluctance to leave the confines of Malfoy Manor only began in the months before the pregnancy. While there is no hard evidence that Dark magic was used to impregnate Astoria Malfoy, it's hard to pinpoint any other reason as to why the Malfoys would have hidden away so completely, and would continue to do so now._

Draco blinked several times, his lips becoming a thin line. It was taking every once of self control he had to not lose his temper in front of Astoria's father. Vaughn sat watching Draco closely, trying to gage his reaction. After a long silence he spoke.

"I have to ask - "

"No," Draco said sternly. "No, you don't have to ask. To ask would mean you believe there could be truth in this complete and utter shit." Draco brandished the article angrily. "I'm _asking_ you not to ask, because it's taking a lot for me to keep my cool right now." Draco closed his eyes, his fingertips resting together underneath his nose, and took a few deep breaths.

Vaughn remained silent for a short while, allowing Draco to gather his thoughts. Slowly, Draco opened his eyes to find Vaughn still watching carefully. Draco held his eye.

"Draco, as a parent yourself - and a bloody good one, I might add - I'm sorry. I _have_ to ask. You'd do the same if it was your child... if it was Scorpius."

After spending a long time contemplating what Vaughn had said, Draco replied. "It's not true," he said firmly, unblinking.

"And may I ask why you..." Vaughn's tone was apologetic. "Disappeared... for so long?"

It was at this point that Draco looked away from his father-in-law. He glanced down at the floor very briefly, before making eye contact again. "Astoria and I agreed to try for a baby. We went away because... because I was struggling. _We_ were struggling. I don't know if it was me or Astoria but... well, conceiving Scorpius wasn't easy. It took months. But everything about it was... well it wasn't like _that._ "

Draco felt that his cheeks had turned pink. It wasn't exactly a comfortable topic of conversation.

Another long silence, and then Vaughn cleared his throat. "I see."

Disappointed that he had even had to explain himself, Draco stood abruptly. Too abruptly. He became lightheaded, clutching the edge of Vaughn's desk to stop himself falling. Vaughn stood and attempted to help Draco back into the chair but Draco yanked his arm away, making for the door.

"Perhaps I ought to have kept this for another time. You're unwell."

"You did right," Draco said certainly. "I've been wondering for many years... even more so since the day we took Scorpius to Diagon Alley. Sometimes... just sometimes..." Draco struggled, his voice cracking. "Well, a little bit of trust in me wouldn't have gone amiss after all these years I've spent taking care of Astoria." Draco was almost out of the door when he turned back. "Don't let Astoria see that," he pointed at the article. "It's the last thing she needs," and with that, he disappeared from sight.


	16. Chapter 16

Three months into the new year, just a short time after Astoria's annual check-up at St Mungo's, her specialist sent her an urgent letter requesting that she make an appointment as soon as possible. Upon seeing the letter, Draco started to assume the worst (he had a habit of doing that) and insisted that she make an appointment right away.

Two days later, Astoria and Draco attended her appointment together while Scorpius spent the day with Astoria's mum. The appointment didn't bring bad news, but rather, hopeful news. Developments had been made over the last two years and they were now in possession of a potion which they believed had the potential to treat Astoria - and others like her - and although it wouldn't cure her condition, it may at the very least stabilise her symptoms and perhaps even improve her life expectancy. What was more, they wanted Astoria to trial the potion; if she agreed, she would be the first person ever to have tested the treatment.

The specialist gave Astoria a couple of days to think over all the information she'd been given. That night, her and Draco stayed up until incredibly late, talking things over. The truth of the matter was, Astoria would be crazy not to accept the offer of this trial; though there were risks involved, they were relatively minor in comparison to the expected benefits.

Sat facing each other on two separate sofas, Draco looked at Astoria with certainty in his eyes. "Astoria, this could be everything we've been searching for... everything we need," he said quietly but seriously.

Astoria and Draco returned to St Mungo's the next day to confirm that she would like to trial the potion, and the following week she was given enough vials to see her through the next three months, after which she would have to return for a medical examination.

Over the weeks that followed, there were noticeable improvements in Astoria's health. Her bad days struck less frequently and she became much more active; even Scorpius noticed that his mummy was better than she usually was. He hadn't been told about her new potion though - there wasn't any point telling him until they were one hundred per cent certain that it was going to work, and continue to work.

* * *

By the time Astoria's birthday came around on April 12th, she'd passed her health check with flying colours and had been provided with another six months worth of the potion. To celebrate, Draco wined and dined her in a fancy restaurant before whisking her off to a beautiful hotel in the middle of the countryside. Flushed from the wine and excited to be alone together for the first time in a while, they climbed into the shower for the steamy sex they hadn't had in far too long.

Some time later, they headed into the bedroom and lay down. The moon cast a weak light over Draco's pointed features. Astoria could see him smiling, his eyes closed.

"What are you smiling like that for?" she whispered.

Draco opened his eyes and looked around at Astoria, her face shrouded in shadow. "Things are finally going right for us," Draco said.

She hadn't heard him sound so happy in a long time. He was often too busy worrying about her to sound as carefree as he did at that very moment.

"I think we deserve some good luck, don't you?" she said softly, dipping down and brushing her lips against his.

"It'd certainly be a welcome change," he said quietly before capturing her lips in a kiss.

The two of them lay in darkness and silence for a long while, savouring the moment. Astoria loved her son more than anything, but she was pleased to have Draco to herself for a few hours. It felt exactly the way it did in the beginning: exciting. She was starting to think he had fallen asleep when he spoke.

"We should go to the villa this summer. It'd be nice for Scorpius to see somewhere new and we can't exactly take him many places around here. And I can teach him to swim. It's important he learns how to swim. What do you think?"

Astoria smiled. "I think it's a brilliant idea."

Draco nodded. He thought for a moment before saying: "Your family could come, too. If they wanted. If you wanted them to. I mean... what I'm trying to say is, if you would like to invite them, I wouldn't have a problem with it."

Astoria gave her husband a funny look. This suggestion was most out of the ordinary. "What's brought this on?" she asked, sounding surprised.

"Look, I know things still aren't great between your family and me, but it's certainly not as bad as it used to be. Daphne and I are being civil to each other... sometimes. And a while back, your father said... well, he was almost nice to me. Remember when I was ill and we stayed at theirs? He said he'd... come to care for me, I think were his words." Draco spoke the last words with a slightly confused tone, as though the concept of someone caring for him was completely alien to him.

"He said that?" Astoria asked in shock.

"He did."

"Wow. I wonder what brought that on." Astoria considered the idea for a moment. "Ok, how about we head to Italy for a week or so in July, just me, you and Scorpius, and I ask my family if they want to join us for a few days after that?"

"Whatever you think is best."

* * *

In no time at all, summer had come around and Astoria found herself lounging around the pool as Draco prepared to take Scorpius into the water for the first time. Scorpius was now less than a month away from turning six, so Draco had been right in suggesting it was about time he learnt to swim. Astoria shielded her eyes from the sun's glare with a magazine and watched as Draco swam a few laps of the pool, Scorpius sat watching him nervously on the edge. Draco submerged himself under the water and reemerged next to where Scorpius was sat. Scorpius jumped and edged away from the pool. Clutching the side, Draco pushed his fringe away from his face with his free hand; his hair was much longer now than it usually was and Astoria figured he'd finally decided to start letting it grow.

"I'm not sure I like the look of this," Scorpius said uncertainly, peering down at the depths of the waters.

"What do you mean?" Draco asked. "I know you haven't swam before, but I'm here. Nothing can possibly go wrong."

Scorpius looked at his dad uncertainly and then back down at the water. "What if I'm no good?"

"Rubbish. I can swim well and your mother, too. Once you start learning you'll get more comfortable and more confident. You'll see. Now will you get in?"

Scorpius hesitated before looking around at his mother anxiously. Astoria offered him an encouraging smile.

"You want mum to come in with us, don't you?" Draco asked, noticing Scorpius' look of longing. In recent months the bond between Scorpius and Astoria had strengthened greatly. Scorpius had been a daddy's boy since birth, but things were starting to change now Astoria was well again, and while Draco was happy that his wife and son were closer than they'd ever been before, he was still coming to terms with the fact that Scorpius didn't rely on him half as much as he used to. He had certainly had to take a couple of steps back in the last couple of months.

"Will you join us?" he called over to Astoria. "Maybe he won't be so scared of getting in the water if you're here."

"I'm not scared," Scorpius said indignantly.

"Show me then," Draco said, holding out his hand to his son as Astoria made her way over to the water's edge, tying her brown curls up in a ponytail.

Relenting to his father's demands, Scorpius took hold of Draco's hand and eased himself down into the swimming pool.

"Good. I've got you," Draco said reassuringly, holding him under the arm. "Now, kick your legs back and forth and it'll help you stay afloat."

Astoria moved around to the opposite end of the pool and Scorpius started to kick his legs frantically. She heard Draco telling him to relax and not to kick so violently and smiled to herself before diving gracefully into the pool and swimming across to join them.

"You and mum make it look easy," Scorpius said to Draco sulkily.

"Everything's easy when you know how, Scorp," Astoria pointed out. "I didn't learn to swim until I was nine, so you're definitely going to beat me." She smiled and smoothed Scorpius' hair back lovingly.

"Ok, I'll try to beat you, mum," Scorpius said, before looking up at Draco. "What do I do with my arms?"

* * *

By the time Vivian, Vaughn and Daphne joined Astoria, Draco and Scorpius at the villa a week later, Scorpius was already able to swim tiny distances without support from either of his parents. He was a quick learner and had certainly left Draco pleasantly surprised given his reluctance at the beginning. He was also surprised to find that his in-laws weren't bad company on holiday; the day after they arrived, they spent hours exploring the winding, narrow roads of the nearby villages and spent a fortune on fresh seafood for Draco to cook that night, along with vegetables and bread.

As dusk fell, they sat around the outdoor dining table tucking into the fish, which Draco had cooked to perfection. After years spent preparing food for Astoria, he'd become pretty skilled in the kitchen. Vaughn poured a glass of wine for everyone except Scorpius and they toasted the holiday - this was probably the most comfortable Draco had ever felt in their company, though he wasn't expecting it to be a lasting thing once they arrived back home.

Come 9 o clock, everyone had finished eating bar Scorpius, who had barely touched his portion of fish.

"Why haven't you eaten your fish, sweetheart?" Astoria asked across the table.

Scorpius looked down at his lap as though he were embarrassed.

"I'm not hungry," he mumbled quietly.

Draco was looking at his son carefully, trying to read him. "You don't like the food, do you Scorpius?" he asked.

Scorpius' eyes met his father's across the dimly lit table and after a pause he shook his head slowly.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Draco asked.

"What's wrong with the fish, darling? It's lovely. Just try a mouthful," Vivian tried to encourage him.

"It's fine, Vivian," Draco said calmly. "I was the same as a child. Used to turn my nose up at everything. He must get it from me."

Scorpius looked down into his lap again. Draco rose from the table.

"Come on, Scorpius. Let's find you something else to eat." He strolled off towards the villa and Scorpius hesitated a moment before getting up from the table and running after his dad.

"Suddenly Scorpius doesn't seem to be so much of a daddy's boy," Daphne pointed out, once Draco was safely out of earshot.

"I know," Astoria said, sounding concerned. "He's become a lot more attached to me since I've been on this new medication. I guess I'm able to do a lot more with him than I used to. He used to be _so_ attached to Draco. Merlin, when he was younger he would grizzle _constantly_ if Draco left us for too long."

"How's he taking it?" Daphne asked.

"How's he taking what?" came Draco's voice. Daphne hadn't heard him making his way back across to the table. The silence spoke for itself. "If you're referring to the fact that Scorpius isn't such a daddy's boy anymore, I'm taking it just fine. I spent years being favourite parent. Astoria is well again. She's able to do things with our child she was barely able to before. She's a fantastic mother and my son loves her completely. It's hardly a bad thing." He sat down with a groan and poured himself another glass of wine.

"When did you become so mature, Draco?" Daphne joked.

"When being a good father and husband became my only priority."

Astoria reached out and covered Draco's hand with her own for a brief moment, their eyes meeting, before reaching for her own wine glass. "Where is he?" she asked.

"Inside playing."

It wasn't long before Astoria headed inside to put Scorpius to bed, before the five of them conversed over another bottle of wine. Daphne brushed off questions about her love life, Vaughn and Vivian talked of their plans to travel the following year, and Draco revealed that he'd recently started reading a lot about alchemy and was becoming quite interested in it. Astoria spent much of the time sat back, listening and smiling, happy that all of her family were managing to get along. Things really were looking up in every sense.

* * *

The summer of 2012 slowly merged into autumn, and the gardens of Malfoy Manor were soon aglow with autumnal yellows and oranges that made Astoria love the season so much. One Tuesday afternoon, she wrapped Scorpius up in his coat and scarf and they headed out to play while Draco spent some time alone in his study doing whatever it was he did in there - Astoria rarely bothered to ask because, when she did, he didn't much like talking about it.

She and Scorpius had been outside playing for almost an hour when Astoria noticed someone approaching the gates at the end of the long driveway. She told Scorpius to stay where he was and made her way down the path, the gravel crunching beneath her winter boots. The wind whipped at her ears and she pulled her knitted hat down to protect them, before neatening her curls which lay over her shoulders. The closer she got to the figure, the more confident she became that it was Harry Potter standing at the Manor gates.

When she reached him, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Harry Potter?" she sought confirmation through the bars.

"Hi," he said. "I mean, yes. You must be Draco's wife."

"Well deduced," Astoria said sarcastically. Though she held no personal grudges against Potter - she'd never even spoken to him before - he had almost killed her husband, so she had no reason to be particularly friendly.

"It's Astoria, right?"

Astoria nodded slowly. There was a moment's pause. "Why are you here?" she asked.

"It's not a social call," Harry said. "Ministry business. I've owled your husband several times now, asking that he allow me to carry out an inspection of your home. As he's chosen to ignore my requests, I'm afraid I've had to turn up without his consent... with this warrant." He held up a piece of parchment.

"Why in Merlin's name do you want to inspect our home? Give me that," Astoria held out her hand and Harry passed her the parchment. Her eyes scanned it quickly. It was indeed a warrant to search the Manor. "This is ridiculous." Something brushed against her leg and she looked down to find that Scorpius had made his way over, despite her telling him to stay by the house.

Harry smiled down at the blonde child. He never thought he'd see a child resemble their father as much as Albus resembled him, but Scorpius really was the spitting image of Draco. "This must be Scorpius... He certainly looks like his dad."

"Yes, he does," Astoria said shortly. "Scorpius, can you go inside please. Go on." She gave him a gentle nudge in the right direction, and his eyes lingered on Harry for a moment before he turned and ran back towards the house.

"He's not going to be pleased to see you," Astoria warned Harry as she opened the gate to let him in. "You may have saved the world, but you aren't particularly celebrated in this house."

"I could have guessed as much," Harry mumbled, tucking the warrant back inside his robes and crossing the threshold. Together, he and Astoria made their way towards the Manor in silence.

Astoria left Harry waiting in the entrance hall and disappeared upstairs to find her husband. Harry glanced around the place, which was almost unrecognisable from the last time he'd been inside it, just before the Battle of Hogwarts. Gone were the ancient portraits of past generations of Malfoys; in their place, a large photograph of Draco and Astoria on their wedding day, and a family portrait, just the three of them. Harry wasn't surprised. He knew Draco well enough to know that family meant everything to him.

Moments later, Harry saw Draco hurrying down the stairs towards him. "What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing here?" he hissed.

"Draco," Harry said formally, reaching inside his robes to retrieve the warrant.

Draco grabbed him roughly by the arm and bundled him into a small room just off of the entrance hall, closing the door sharply behind them.

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Draco cut across him. "You don't just swan up to my gates like you're all that, talking to my wife, talking to my _child_. You just don't do that. Ever. You have no right turning up here without my permission and you certainly have no right to make jovial small talk about my son." Draco breathed heavily. He was angry.

"I'm sorry, Draco, but this warrant grants me permission to search your property, whether you want me to or not. I have written to you countless times and offered you the chance to organise the search as you saw fit. As you decided to ignore me, you left me no choice but to turn up with a Ministry warrant."

Draco took a dangerous step forward. Even as grown men, Draco was still more than half a foot taller than Harry was. He snatched the parchment from his hand and read it quickly.

"Why?" Draco demanded. "Why now? Why have you suddenly decided that I have something to hide? After all these years?"

"We've caught acquaintances of yours in possession of Dark artefacts. Illegal artefacts. Given your connections, it felt only right that we should check the Manor, just to be safe."

" _Just to be safe_ ," Draco scoffed. "And what acquaintances might these be? Because I'll have you know, the only people I've had close contact with for _years_ have been family members of mine and Astoria's."

"Theodore Nott... Gregory Goyle... Graham Montague... the list really does go on..."

"I haven't spoken to any of those buffoons for ten years or more. This is a farce. Something goes wrong, something goes _bad_ , everyone points the finger at the Malfoys, even when we make every effort to keep ourselves to ourselves."

"I know this isn't an ideal situation for you, Draco, but - "

Draco gave a short laugh. "Well, you got one thing right."

"But this has to be done. And the less of a fuss you kick up about it, the sooner it'll be over."

Draco glared at Harry, his nostrils flaring. He shoved the parchment roughly against Harry's chest and strode across to the other side of the room. There was a long silence.

"I take it Astoria knows about us - the differences we've had in the past?"

"Astoria knows everything. Everything about me. What you did to me... what I did to you." Draco signed. "And what you did for me," he added reluctantly, quietly.

"It wasn't all bad, was it, Draco?" Harry tried to sound encouraging. "We saved each others' necks on several occasions."

"As lovely as it is to reminisce with you, Potter, it's not what you came here for." Draco spoke with his back to Harry. "Do what you have to and get out. You won't find anything. And don't even think about talking to Astoria or Scorpius."

Receiving Draco's message loud and clear, Harry left the room and began his thorough inspection of the Manor. Around an hour later, he made his way back downstairs having found nothing incriminating. He knocked on the lounge door and pushed it open slowly. Inside, Draco was lounging idly on a sofa as Scorpius read aloud to Astoria on a plush rug in the middle of the room. For a brief moment, Harry saw Draco watching over his wife and child fondly, before his eyes snapped towards the door.

"Found what you're looking for?" he asked with an air of superiority.

"I didn't find anything. I'll report back to the Ministry that you're clean, and we won't be bothering you again."

"Excuse me if I don't exude gratitude," Draco drawled.

Harry's eyes flicked around the room for a moment. "The Manor, it's... very different from the last time I was here."

Draco said nothing. He merely nodded.

"Well, at least I finally got to see pictures from the wizarding wedding of the century, so I didn't have an entirely wasted journey," Harry jested, attempting to lighten the atmosphere. No reaction. A long pause. "You seem happy."

"I am," Draco said shortly.

" _We are_ ," Astoria corrected him. "And who called it wedding of the century?" she asked, turning to Harry. She couldn't help herself.

"A few publications, actually. They were all most perturbed that you wouldn't grant them an exclusive."

Astoria gave a small smile. "I never knew."

"Who's that man, mum?" Scorpius suddenly asked out of the blue. It was unusual for there to be people at the Manor that weren't his immediate family.

"No one, Scorpius," Draco said, standing abruptly. "If you're done..."

Harry nodded, understanding his queue to leave. "Well... Scorpius and - and Albus will be in the same year at Hogwarts - that's if you send him to Hogwarts. Perhaps our paths will cross again one day."

"I dare say they will," Draco said, and with that, Harry went on his way.

Over on the rug, Scorpius looked from his mum to his dad, before shrugging indifferently and going back to reading aloud to Astoria.

With Scorpius reading more and more, it was the afternoon of October 23rd 2012 when it hit Draco that it was only a matter of time before his son would start reading of Hogwarts, of its history, and of Harry Potter. One day, Scorpius would learn of Draco's past and the mere thought of that troubled Draco beyond belief. He may have had some difficult conversations with his son in the past, but there were a lot more to come. Harry Potter turning up on his doorstep was a reminder of that, and of all the things he'd done that he simply wanted to forget.


	17. Chapter 17

When Draco had told Harry that Astoria knew everything about them, he'd been lying.

"How did it all start between you and him?" Astoria asked several nights later, as they climbed into bed. She'd been wanting to ask since the day he'd turned up, but Draco had made it very clear that Harry Potter was not on the list of approved topics of conversation.

Draco looked across at her with a tired expression on his face and closed his eyes slowly. When he opened them again, she was looking at him, waiting for an answer. He sighed heavily.

"I wanted to be his friend," Draco said quietly, embarrassed to admit it.

Astoria struggled to keep the smile from her face. "So... correct me if I'm wrong but... you wanted to be his friend and... he wasn't interested?"

Draco glared at her for a moment and then looked away. "It was more complicated than that."

"More complicated how?"

Draco detected the tone of amusement in her voice. "Astoria, do we have to? It's been a long day. I'm up early tomorrow morning. It's really not that interesting of a story."

He sounded exasperated but Astoria didn't care - she was curious. She didn't speak. She just peered at him expectantly. Draco looked at her once more and rolled his eyes. He turned to put the lights out before making himself more comfortable.

"Ok, look," he said in a hushed voice. "You know how he vanquished the Dark Lord when he was a baby? There was talk... a lot of talk... amongst Voldemort's followers, that Potter could be the next powerful Dark wizard and that that was how he did it. So, my father being my father, had this ingenious idea that I befriend him."

"What?" Astoria said, her voice flat. "So Lucius tried to use you to build connections because he thought Potter could be powerful?"

"Well, when you put it like that... yes, I suppose he did." Draco didn't seem particularly upset about this.

"So, Potter didn't want to be your friend?"

"Obviously not, or we'd be downstairs sipping fire whiskey together, wouldn't we?" Draco said dryly. He paused. "After that, we just used to antagonise each other at every given opportunity."

"Wait!" Astoria said, recollecting a vague memory from her first year. "Did you invade the Quidditch pitch dressed as a Dementor to put him off the game?"

Draco laughed for a moment. "Yeah, I did... you know, I forget how creative I am sometimes." He shook his head in disbelief, as though amazed by himself.

"Daphne asked me to go for a drink tomorrow night. Maybe you could use some of that creativity to keep our son entertained for a few hours."

"I dare say he won't need me for entertainment. He's more likely to hole himself up in his room." Draco was trying hard to mask his disappointment but it didn't go undetected by Astoria.

"It's just a phase he's going through, you know. First he was daddy's boy. Now he's mummy's boy. He'll revert back, soon enough."

* * *

But Astoria was wrong. As time passed, the relationship between Draco and Scorpius continued to change; now eight years old, Draco's son often strove for independence and, on occasions where he didn't meet his own expectations, would always first turn to Astoria for support. Draco watched on as Scorpius and Astoria's relationship went from strength to strength, trying not to feel as though he was fading into the background.

Eventually, Draco decided that this was due to the fact that he and Scorpius didn't have a shared interest. Well, that wasn't entirely true - they both loved to read - but reading wasn't really much of a bonding activity. So, that Christmas, Draco bought Scorpius his first broom in hope of rekindling their father-son relationship. In reality, he found that Scorpius had no interest in flying, or Quidditch, whatsoever.

On Boxing Day, they wrapped up warm and Draco took Scorpius out for his first flying lesson. Although Scorpius got the hang of it fairly quickly, it was clear that he wasn't really enjoying himself.

"It's cold, dad," he complained. "Boxing Day wasn't meant for flying lessons."

"You'll warm up once you get going," Draco tried to reassure him, but Scorpius was having none of it. Twenty minutes after they'd headed outside, Scorpius asked if they could go back in. Disheartened, Draco agreed without making any attempt to talk Scorpius into staying.

"You tried, Draco," Astoria said sympathetically that evening, as Draco sat in an armchair staring into the fire.

Draco shrugged. He felt defeated. He'd loved flying and Quidditch since he was a small child; he'd wanted Scorpius' face to light up when he caught sight of his first broom, not mumble a thank you and leave it lying in the corner of the room. Astoria squeezed his shoulder and he gave a groan of appreciation, his head rolling forwards.

"Maybe he's still a little too young?" she suggested, now massaging both of Draco's shoulders. "How old were you when - "

"Six."

"Oh..." Astoria struggled to think of anything to say that would make Draco feel better. "Well, we both know he's a bit... different. I heard him talking to Hector again the other day..."

Draco closed his eyes, his jaw clenching. "Really?" he sighed. Hector was Scorpius' imaginary friend who had been around for almost a year now. Draco was desperately hoping Scorpius would grow out of it soon enough. "I wish he wouldn't do that."

Astoria laughed softly. "Draco, he's a child. What does it matter?"

"He'll be heading off to school before we know it. He can't be doing such things as talking to imaginary friends. He'll be a prime target for bullies. I _was_ a bully, so I should know better than anyone that he will absolutely get picked on if we let him carry on the way he is."

"Hey, where is all this coming from?" Astoria sounded concerned. "He's _three years_ off going to school. And besides, it isn't so unusual for someone Scorp's age to have an imaginary friend. It's not like he ever actually gets the chance to hang out with anyone his own age."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco snapped irritably.

Astoria bit her lip; noticing that Draco was becoming agitated made her want to stop the conversation immediately. She hated it when they argued. "Nothing, forget it. Do you fancy a nightcap?"

Draco watched as she walked over to the drinks cabinet, his head resting on his hand. "No, I think I'm going to head up to bed."

"Oh, ok." Astoria was slightly disappointed, but knew it was best not to push him when he was in such a foul mood.

Noticing her tone, Draco glanced up at her face. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just worried. You knew one of my biggest fears going into this was that the relationship between me and our son would end up like the relationship I have with my father. I feel like it's getting there, and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it."

"Draco," Astoria said softly. She walked over and knelt on the floor at Draco's feet, resting her arm across his legs, looking up into his face. "That little boy loves you, _so much_. He's just getting to an age where he's becoming his own person. He has a mind of his own."

"He's difficult and he's stubborn."

"Really? I wonder who he gets that from..." Astoria raised her eyebrows at Draco knowingly and he looked away, though a small smirk played on his lips. "You're alike in more ways than you think. You just don't share the same interests."

"I always assumed it'd be easy with a boy, you know? I pictured taking him to his first Quidditch World Cup..." There was a hint of hopefulness in his voice before he huffed. "Doesn't seem like that'll be happening any time soon."

Astoria stood and walked around to the back of the chair. His hair - which she'd helped him style into a braided ponytail a few months ago (and was now becoming his trademark style) - was coming loose. She fixed it up again, before leaning down and crossing her arms across his chest.

"Remember before Scorpius was born, you said you just wanted him to be happy and free to be himself. Like you never were."

"Yes, and I want to _make_ him happy. That's the problem. I don't know how. I'm trying. I'm really trying, Astoria." Draco sounded confused and frustrated beyond belief. He rubbed his temples with his thumbs, as he did every time he felt stressed.

"Sweetheart, I know you're trying. I'm _sure_ it's just a phase. You just need to relax, and you need to _see_ Scorpius - really see him - and work with what we have." Astoria moved around to sit on the arm of the chair and ran her fingers comfortingly through his hair. "I _know_ he can be difficult but that amazing connection you and Scorpius had, the two of you will get that back, I know you will."

Draco let out a short, disbelieving laugh. "We'll see." He rested his head on Astoria's shoulder for the briefest of moments before rising from the chair. "Bedtime?"

"Bedtime," Astoria confirmed. "And stop doubting your abilities as a father," she added softly. "You're incredible, especially given your role model." She reached up on tiptoe and kissed Draco's cheek, before taking his hand and leading him to bed.

* * *

As the months went by, the strain between Draco and Scorpius increased. It wasn't that Scorpius was naughty, or especially rude to Draco, but Draco was fast losing patience with Scorpius being a bit of a know-it-all and this was often the root of the friction between them. Scorpius continued to spend many hours of his day pouring over books in the library, and the more likely it became that Scorpius would find out about Draco's past, the more unnerved Draco became.

If he and Scorpius weren't getting along so well now, he couldn't bare to imagine how bad it would get if he found out Draco had been a Death Eater. Astoria had defied Draco's parents, bringing Scorpius up to be kind to Muggles and Muggleborns, and Draco had supported her decision - Scorpius would be horrified to discover what his dad had been a part of.

Opening up about it one night, Astoria sat and listened carefully, and was as understanding as ever. Sometimes Draco didn't know what he'd done to deserve her.

"You need to tell him yourself, Draco. He needs to hear it from you, not read it in a book he picks of the shelf - that would only add to the confusion, he's still very young."

Draco nodded, a frown etched across his face. He knew Astoria was right. When it came to situations driven by emotions, Astoria was certainly much more wise than he was.

She reached out and took his hand in hers, as she'd done all those years ago when he'd told her all about how he'd become a Death Eater. "We can tell him together," she suggested gently. "We can sit him down and explain everything. He's logical and he's kind - he will understand. You just have to be honest and open with him."

* * *

A few days later, Draco was thinking things over in his office - he was planning to tell Scorpius everything later that day - when there was a small knock on the door. It was Astoria.

"You have an owl from your mother," she said, handing it to him across the desk.

Draco rolled his eyes and opened the envelope unenthusiastically. Astoria watched as his eyes flickered back and forth across the parchment. She saw the exact moment his face fell.

"Draco? What is it?"

"It's my father," Draco said quietly. He placed the letter back down on the desk. "He's... had a heart attack. He - it doesn't look good." His tone was completely unreadable - his face, too.

"Where is he?" Astoria asked, attempting to mask her shock. Lucius wasn't even sixty years of age.

"St Mungo's."

"Then we should go, Draco. Now."

Draco didn't move a muscle. He just sat staring at the letter, his expression blank.

"Shouldn't we? We should go and see him. I'll go and grab our cloaks and we'll get going. Ok?"

Draco still didn't respond, so Astoria made the decision that heading to the hospital right away would be the best thing to do. First, they'd have to drop Scorpius off with her parents. As she reached the door, Draco spoke.

"I don't think he's going to make it." There was no trace of emotion in his voice.

Astoria turned back. "No - don't... what makes you say that?"

"Intuition," Draco said simply. He leant back in is chair, still staring at the desk, his eyes glassed over. "I'm not sure if I care whether he makes it."

His words shocked Astoria _,_ though she was sure he didn't mean them. Things were bad between Draco and Lucius, but Draco still cared deeply about his family, despite everything they'd been through.

"You're in shock," Astoria announced, walking back across to him. She rested a hand on his back. "Come on, I'll take Scorpius to mum and dad's and then we'll head straight to St Mungo's. Just take a moment. Ok?"

He remained still for several moments yet again, before nodding. It was as though it was taking him a while to register that she was speaking. "Ok," he said, his voice low.

* * *

Half an hour later, Draco found himself walking into a hospital room where his father lay unconscious. He stood over him for a long while, before sitting down in the seat by his bedside.

Narcissa and Astoria were both outside the room, giving Draco some time alone with his father. There, they watched anxiously through the window. Astoria couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through Draco's mind - the confusion he must be feeling. As rocky as their relationship was, Astoria knew that he loved Lucius deep down. She was aware that he would be struggling with his emotions right now, especially given his earlier comment.

Draco was perched on the edge of the seat. He couldn't even come to terms with what was happening right now. What was he supposed to do? Should he talk to his dad - tell him loved him? Tell him he _hated_ him?

He was jigging his leg up and down subconsciously, his fingertips pressed together in his lap. He couldn't tear his eyes away from his father's face. He was so still. Time ticked on. Five minutes... ten minutes...

"Why did it have to be this way?" Draco said aloud suddenly. "Why did you have to make me feel this way about you? I used to worship the ground you walked on. But you were so bad for me. You led me down all the wrong paths and then you watched me unravel because you didn't know how to help me. Even if you'd tried, you couldn't have come close. My wife... she picked me up and put me back together. She did _your job_ for you."

Draco's voice was raw with emotion but no one was there to hear except the four walls and his father, who lay still and silent. Draco wasn't sure whether he could hear or not but he didn't care - this could be the last chance he had to say these things. He leant back in the chair, his leg still jerking awkwardly, his head resting on his hand but his eyes unmoved.

"I wonder how different things could have been... how different they would have been for me if you hadn't been a Death Eater... sometimes I wonder what you would have said... or done... if I hadn't followed in your footsteps." Draco paused before letting out a short, humourless laugh under his breath. "I suppose that's irrelevant, because I wouldn't be sat here breathing this air, would I? I'd be six feet under."

"All I ever wanted was to be good enough for you, do you know that? I wanted to live up to your expectations. I might have even been the Ministry man you so desperately wanted me to be. Merlin knows, if I didn't find Astoria... I'd still be living in your shadow, wouldn't I? A thirty-four year old man. But Astoria made me stronger... and you _hated_ her for it. You can barely even stand to look at your grandson because we brought him up differently. Well, I'll tell you something. I'll never be like you. I'll let my son choose the person he wants to be. He'll never feel pressure and pain like I did. He'll never feel like he isn't good enough. Most people use their own father as a role model. Me? I think of you, and I try my _damned hardest_ to be the complete opposite."

Draco raised his voice as he spoke those words, his anger getting the better of him. He raked his fingers through his hair, on edge.

"Well... it's all coming out now, isn't it?" his father wheezed quietly out of nowhere, his eyes still closed.

Draco jumped slightly in his chair. The more he'd spoken, the more he'd been confident in his belief that his father couldn't hear a word he was saying. Knowing that he'd been listening only made him feel more agitated.

Lucius opened his eye and turned his head slowly to face Draco, who defiantly maintained eye contact and remained silent. He wouldn't be apologetic for speaking the truth.

"Everything you said was... absolutely right," Lucius said, his voice rasping, his hand clutching as his chest. "I marred your future. I tried incredibly hard to control the person you became. And I despise that you chose Astoria as your wife."

Draco winced at his words; despite every cruel thing his father had ever said about him, his slandering Astoria cut much deeper.

"Perhaps I could have been... a better father to you, Draco." His breathing was short. "And perhaps... there were times when... I didn't think you were good enough... but there _were_ times when I did... times when you made me proud. And at the end of it all... I _did_ love you. As much of a hindrance as I've been in your life... you have to know that I love you. You're my son."

"And I loved you, once, but you never made it easy. And telling me that you love me now doesn't erase all the times you made me feel as though you didn't."

Draco broke eye contact, his eyes settling on the floor.

"Don't forget," Lucius went on, his voice slowly fading. "Your mother and I, we came looking for you... the Battle of Hogwarts... We came for you... I _wanted_ to protect you."

Draco shook his head disbelievingly. "And what? You think that's something I should be grateful for? I was trapped in a burning building and you were too busy fighting for his side, dad! By the time you came looking for me, I could quite easily have been dead already."

"Draco, please..." For the first time in his entire life, Lucius was seeking Draco's forgiveness.

Draco looked at him lying there in the hospital bed and felt pity - hatred and pity. "What do you want me to say, father?" The feeling of emotional exhaustion washed over him like it had the day Scorpius was born, but this wasn't happiness. This was misery.

"I want you to forgive me, Draco," Lucius whispered, before his body went rigid and the machines he was wired to started omitting all sorts of noises. Lucius clutched at his heart, gasping in pain. Draco stood abruptly as a number of healers rushed into the room, followed by his mother and Astoria.

Narcissa ran to Lucius' side, grasping his hand in hers, but Lucius didn't take his eyes off of Draco. Astoria appeared at Draco's side, her hand touching his elbow gently. They watched on as Lucius suffered a second cardiac arrest.

Eventually, Draco spoke. "I forgive you," he said.

Moments later, Lucius took his very last breath.

Time stood still for Draco as he, Astoria and Narcissa stood watching while the healers tried to revive Lucius. Draco was still, unblinking - Astoria watched on anxiously, holding Draco's arm in an attempt to comfort him. Tears were streaming down Narcissa's face.

As Draco watched the healers' efforts to save his father, he couldn't help but wonder why they were bothering. Just several minutes later, the declaration of death was made.

Draco stared down at his father's body for several moments, his eyes void of emotion, before turning and walking away, the door swinging shut behind him. His heart hammering in his chest, his pace quickened as he made his way further down the corridor. Astoria followed him out, calling his name. She started running after him. He knew she was there but he couldn't stop himself from walking away. If he didn't carry on walking, he didn't know what he would do. His father was dead - gone - and Draco just simply didn't understand what he was supposed to feel.

* * *

That evening, Astoria apparated to collect Scorpius from her parents' after several hours sitting with Draco in almost complete silence. She made her way into the lounge and found her father reading the newspaper, as usual, and her mother completing a puzzle. Both looked up as she entered.

"Where's Scorpius?" Astoria asked quietly.

"He's upstairs," her father said. "Reading, probably."

Astoria nodded. Of course he was.

"Lucius..?" her mother asked.

Astoria shook her head slowly and was surprised to find tears rolling down her cheeks. It wasn't that she cared for Lucius - she often despised him - but over the last few hours, Draco had seemed so lost and confused. It had broken her heart.

"Oh, darling," her mother stood and hugged her daughter tightly.

"I've never seen anyone die before," Astoria mumbled through her tears, holding on to her mum.

"You were there?" Her mother sounded surprised. Breaking the hug, she guided Astoria towards the sofa. "Sit down, darling. Sit down."

Astoria did as she was told. Vivian perched herself on the sofa beside Astoria and took hold of her daughter's hands. Vaughn rested a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"How's Draco?" he asked.

"He's numb," Astoria said. "He's barely spoken a word since... he was in there for a while with Lucius before it happened. He was talking to him. And then just before Lucius died, Draco said 'I forgive you', so Lucius must have said something to him. I guess he'll tell me, when he's ready..."

"He'll be ok," Vaughn reassured her. "He's made of strong stuff."

Astoria gave a small smile. "I think so, too. Draco seems to think differently."

* * *

One hour later, Astoria had calmly explained to Scorpius that his grandfather had passed away. The two of them hadn't been at all close - Draco made sure of that by denying Lucius even one minute alone with his grandson - so he'd taken the news on the chin.

Astoria and Scorpius were now in the lounge back in the Manor, cuddled up on the sofa beneath a blanket. Narcissa was staying the night and was in one of the bedrooms upstairs. Draco was also in bed upstairs. When Astoria had checked on him, he'd insisted he was better off left alone.

"Is dad ok? _My_ dad, I mean?" Scorpius asked Astoria, suddenly sounding rather concerned.

"He's sad, Scorp. And a little angry, I think. He's going to need us to be extra nice to him now. Can you do that for me?"

Scorpius stayed quiet for a moment. "Should I go upstairs and give him a hug?" he asked eventually, looking up at his mother inquisitively.

Astoria smiled and smoothed Scorpius' unruly hair down lovingly. "I think he'd like that."

She watched as Scorpius climbed out from underneath the blanket, slid off the sofa and quietly made his way out of the room.

Upstairs, Draco was led in complete darkness staring at the wall, his arm thrown around a pillow. He barely even registered the bedroom door opening and light from the corridor creeping into the room.

"Dad," Scorpius said quietly. "Dad, it's me."

"Hey, Scorp," Draco whispered back, though he didn't turn to face his son.

Scorpius noted that this was the first time his father had called him Scorp in a very long time. He was aware that their relationship had shifted somewhat in recent months, though he wasn't sure why. But right now, he just wanted to make his dad happy again.

"Can I come onto the bed with you?" he asked nervously.

A long pause. "Yes, if you'd like to."

Scorpius cautiously made his way over to his parents' bed and climbed up. As he lay down, Draco turned onto his back, his eyes focussing on the ceiling. The open door cast light over his face, highlighting his pointed features. The features he shared with Scorpius. The features he'd shared with his father. There was a very long silence as neither knew what to say.

"I'm really sorry about your dad," Scorpius said eventually. "You must be really sad."

Draco considered Scorpius' words for a moment. "I suppose I am a bit sad but... well, it's no secret that me and your grandfather didn't get along too well. So, right now, I'm a bit confused, Scorp. I don't really know what to think."

"Even if you didn't get along, it's ok to be sad, because you will never see your dad again," Scorpius said quietly, with a childhood innocence that reminded Draco exactly why he loved him so much.

Draco didn't know what to say - his eight year old son was consoling him, and he didn't know what to say.

"I don't even want to think about what I would do if I didn't have you, dad," Scorpius said suddenly.

Finally, Draco slowly turned to face him. If there was one thing he needed to hear right now, it was that. "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you, either," he said, his voice hoarse.

"Would you like a hug, dad?" Scorpius asked.

"I'd like that very much."

Scorpius threw himself onto his father's chest enthusiastically, and Draco held on to him tightly. They lay very still for several minutes before Astoria crept into the room and climbed into bed next to them, kissing Draco gently on top of his head.

"Maybe you could give me another flying lesson soon," Scorpius suggested a while later.

Draco couldn't help but smile, but he knew Scorpius was only offering for his benefit. "Scorpius, you don't have to pretend you like flying to make me happy. How about we do something together - something that you _want_ to do? Can you think of anything?"

Scorpius thought for a moment. "Well... I wouldn't mind learning to play an instrument," he said shyly.

"Ok," Draco agreed. "Learning an instrument it is. Just don't expect me to be any good at it."

Scorpius slept in with Draco and Astoria that night for the first time in many years. Difficult times had a habit of bringing families closer together.

Draco lay awake for a long while, one arm wrapped protectively around his son as he slept, with Astoria sound asleep at his side. Hundreds of thoughts were clouding his mind and the feeling of confusion didn't fade as the minutes ticked by. How could it be that he felt so broken, yet so relieved at the same time?

However, if one thing was for certain, his father's passing made him realise that he needed his wife and son now more than ever. Grief was a strange thing, and on March 29th 2015 Draco was now dealing with it for the first time in his life.


	18. Chapter 18

It took Draco a few weeks to start coming to terms with what had happened. Sometimes he would sit and dwell on the past, thinking back to when he was really young. One day, he even hid himself away in his office and looked over a few photographs from his childhood, several of which had Lucius in them. Other times he would feel a sense of relief that he would never have to endure another minute in his father's company, which had become less and less pleasant as the years went by.

The most awful thing to have come out of the experience was Draco's inability to shake the thought of Astoria passing away. His father had been the first person he'd really cared about that had died. Of course, he'd been slightly upset as a child when his grandparents had passed away one by one, but he'd never experienced true grief until Lucius' death. If the passing of someone who he'd grown to hate could feel so painful, how would he cope when it was the woman he loved, the woman he couldn't imagine life without out?

Although Astoria's medication was still working wonders, it was never going to provide a cure for her blood malediction. She knew it, and Draco knew it.

One night, many weeks after Lucius had passed, Astoria headed up to bed to find Draco laid poker straight, staring up at the ceiling. This had happened on more than one occasion lately. Never had he voluntarily attempted to share his thoughts with her, until that night.

"Do you know what scares me the most?" he asked out of nowhere, as she made her way across the room in darkness and pulled the curtains closed.

"What's that?" Astoria asked, sliding into bed next to him.

"I know I shouldn't say this, Astoria, but... no. Forget it. It doesn't matter."

It didn't take a genius to work out what Draco was thinking - only someone who knew him well, and no one knew him better than Astoria did.

"It's making you think about me, isn't it? About losing me?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

Draco didn't respond but he didn't need to. The silence spoke for itself.

"And here was me thinking you were a master of Occlumency..." Astoria tried to make light of the situation.

"Don't, Astoria," Draco said, sadness in his voice. "Don't joke... not when it's about that. I can't - " Draco didn't finish his sentence. Astoria could tell that he was fighting back tears.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I just wanted to make you smile."

"I know, but I can't. The thought of losing you... that hateful man was taken away from me and I'm only just coming to terms with it. How will I _ever_ get my head around losing you?"

Astoria pulled him towards her and held him tightly. "This medication is really helping, Draco. It's brought continuous improvements over the last few years. Me not being here is not something you should be worrying about. It might not even happen." She paused, noticing a dampness on her nightdress from his tears. "And if it does happen... _if_... then Scorpius will keep you going. He needs his dad more than he needs anyone."

Draco buried his face into Astoria, feeling like a child himself, waiting for his tears to stop sliding down his cheeks before eventually pulling away from her.

"He asked for my forgiveness." Draco spoke out of nowhere once again. Astoria understood that his train of thought must still be all over the place.

"And you gave it to him," Astoria said proudly, remembering Draco's last words to is father.

"I said I did - I told him I did. But I couldn't, not really... the last thing I ever said to my father was a lie."

Astoria stroked his hair gently, her eyes flickering over his face, which she could just about make out in the darkness.

"I can't forgive him, especially for the things he said about you. When I think about the fact that he disapproved of our marriage I just... it makes me so angry. I'll never forgive him for that."

"You have to, Draco. You have to make peace with it and you have to move on. Otherwise, how will you ever move forward?"

Astoria and Draco stayed awake, talking for several hours. It was the first time Draco had opened up since his father's death and Astoria had no intention of stopping him. She was his wife - the only person he had to talk to. Her only hope was that talking would help him come to terms with what happened. She had one concern of her own though: who was Draco going to have to talk to when it was her in Lucius' position? In all her selflessness, that was one of Astoria's biggest worries; she might be telling Draco that there was a chance she could beat her illness, but deep down, she knew that wasn't true.

* * *

Over the months that followed, Draco made every effort to strengthen his parental bond with his son, feeling all the more desperate to be unlike his own father. He'd stayed true to his word, and had organised for he and Scorpius to take music lessons together. They tried the piano, the violin and the clarinet, but Draco found the whole experience rather embarrassing - he hadn't been good at any of the three - and had made his excuses after just five weeks of classes. He did, however, pay for Scorpius to continue learning as he was enjoying it so much.

As alike as they were in looks, Draco and Scorpius really were polar opposites in interests and in many personal traits, too. Draco had been loud, attention seeking, and somewhat of a class clown during his first five years of school. The older Scorpius grew, the more often Draco had to remind himself that his son wasn't going to turn out anything like he'd been. Although he could see that this may not be a bad thing, he worried relentlessly about the prospect of Scorpius being picked on. Draco felt he needed confidence in himself beyond that of his knowledge, and that was something he was yet to acquire.

Despite his best efforts to remain calm and rational even when Scorpius was testing his patience, there were far too many times when Draco found himself at loggerheads with his son, who was becoming more of a know-it-all the more time he spent in the library.

"If you don't stop answering me back, I will lock that library door and you won't be reading any books for a month!" Draco had found himself threatening Scorpius late one night, when he'd simply pushed his father too far with his smart remarks. Draco may not want to be like his father, but he certainly wasn't going to let his now nine year old son continue speaking to him the way he was.

Physical intimacy was another thing Draco struggled with. Scorpius was a loving child, who liked hugs more than most children his age. Draco had never been brought up this way - neither of his parents had ever been the hugging type - and so Draco could sometimes appear cold, giving Scorpius all the more reason to turn to his mum when he wanted to feel loved. Astoria was always there to offer a hug, fix any minor injuries, or wipe his tears away when he got upset. Draco couldn't even remember the last time Scorpius had tried to hug him, and Draco never felt comfortable encouraging him to. The last time they'd hugged had perhaps been the day his father had died.

Draco's lack of physical contact with his child was something which Astoria often pointed out, but she would always be greeted with the same response: a shrug of the shoulders and a mumbled 'he has you for that kind of thing'. She pointed out to Draco that this may be part of the problem, but he simply refused to see why it was an issue, and Astoria grew tired of trying to explain it. Draco could be very pigheaded when he wanted to be.

* * *

Late one February night, almost a year after his father had died, Draco was up in his office inspecting the many different Dark artefacts he had inherited from his father, which included an illegal time turner. He ran his long fingers over the dusty box and retrieved it from inside. It gleamed under the light of his lamp and it fascinated him. Draco knew it was dangerous to play with time, but perhaps one day, after Astoria was gone, he would have no choice but to use it.

He was just placing the artefacts back in the cabinet in which he kept them when Astoria came into the room, a grave expression on her face. She closed the door behind her.

"What is it?" Draco asked immediately.

"Scorpius... he's read things. And he's started placing the pieces together and... he thinks he's figured out that you were a Death Eater."

"Fuck!" Draco hissed under his breath. He slid back into his chair, head in his hands. Then he resigned himself to defeat. "Well, I guess that's it then," he said with an air of finality. "Any chance I have of getting our relationship back on track is gone."

Astoria shook her head. "That's not true. He's sat downstairs, refusing to go to bed. Come down and we'll talk to him together."

Draco closed his eyes for a moment, dreading the conversation which lay ahead; he knew he had no choice but to finally tell Scorpius the truth. It would be far too much for a regular nine year old to digest, but Scorpius was smart beyond his years and would unfortunately understand everything perfectly well.

Draco and Astoria entered the lounge to find Scorpius in his pyjamas sat crosslegged in an armchair, fingers tapping the cover of his history book impatiently. He shot Draco a scathing look as he walked across the room and sat down.

"Your mum tells me you've been learning a lot from those books lately," Draco said, his tone serious. He watched his son carefully. Astoria sat down beside him by way of showing support.

"Mum is right," Scorpius confirmed. "I was just reading this history book actually, _dad_ , and I came across something rather alarming."

Draco's jaw clenched - he was already become irritated by his son's tone of voice. Astoria felt Draco tense beside her and prepared herself for the worst.

"I was reading about these people. They were called the Death Eaters. Have you heard of them?"

Draco stared across the room at his son for a long moment, considering how he should proceed with the conversation which would undoubtedly turn into a blazing row.

"I think you know that I've heard of them, Scorpius," he said finally, slowly.

"Yes, I thought you might have. They were around during your time. Supporters of notorious murderer, Lord Voldemort, so I've read. I also read that they had marks on their left arms... _Dark Marks_ , I think they were called. The book says they faded to scars after Lord Voldemort was killed in the Battle of Hogwarts. The thing that's bothering me... the reason I'm up so late - thank you for not telling me off, by the way - is that I realised... you have a scar on your left arm, dad. I think you can see why I'm worried so, if you could just put my mind at rest, I'll go upstairs and straight to sleep."

Draco inhaled deeply and held his breath for a long while, attempting to remain calm. This conversation would be a whole lot easier if his son didn't have this irritating air of superiority. He'd certainly inherited that from Draco.

"If you're looking for me to tell you that I wasn't a Death Eater, then that isn't going to happen Scorpius, because I have not and will never lie to you."

Astoria was impressed by how calm Draco had managed to remain.

"So it's true?!" Scorpius half squeaked. "I thought you would tell me it was all a mistake and off I would go. Did you kill people, too?"

"No, I did not!" The anger was creeping into Draco's voice now. He took several deep breaths, and managed to regain composure. "If you are willing to sit and listen to me - I mean _really_ listen - then I will tell you everything. If you are going to jump to conclusions and refuse to see things from my point of view, you can forget it. I'll leave the decision with you."

"You've hidden this from me my whole life. This is why we stay hidden away in here, isn't it? You've done bad things and now me and mum have to hide with you. That's why my only friend is imaginary!" Scorpius was getting visibly upset now and it was difficult for Astoria to refrain from getting up and giving him a hug, as she usually did.

"When do you suggest I should have told you, Scorpius?" Draco barked. "The night you were born? One of your birthdays perhaps, or Christmas? When you're a grown up, you will learn that difficult conversations don't just crop up over the dinner table. Do you think I haven't thought about telling you a thousand times since you started spending ten hours a day reading books?"

"I'd rather you just told me than I find out for myself from a book," Scorpius said defiantly, unperturbed by his father's raised voice. "I haven't finished reading yet, perhaps you'll even get a mention."

"Scorpius, whatever you've read, you mustn't speak to your dad like that, do you understand?" Astoria interjected. She knew that Scorpius was severely testing Draco's patience.

"Is that why you keep me locked up in here, though? It is, isn't it?" Scorpius pressed on.

"I do not keep you _locked up_. I keep you away from people who may be unkind to you. It's my job to protect you, Scorpius. Whether you like it or not makes no difference to me."

"Maybe you should have thought properly about becoming a Death Eater, then it wouldn't have been a problem."

"Enough!" Draco bellowed, rising from the chair and standing threateningly over his son. Scorpius leaned back in fright. "I am your father! Don't you _dare_ talk to me like that! You are nine years old! You might think you know all there is to know, Scorpius, but you are a child. You know absolutely nothing about my past, or anything that I've been through in my life."

Draco's outburst left a ringing silence in the room. Even Astoria had never seen Draco lose his temper so badly. He turned on his heel and started pacing around the room, as he often did when he was angry.

"You know, I wish my parents could have protected me when I was a child the way your mother and I have worked so hard to protect you! Perhaps for once, you could show a little gratitude instead of criticising, questioning, and generally making life difficult for me. You are _incapable_ of listening, and _incapable_ of having anything remotely close to a grown up conversation. If you want to rely on the words written down in a book, rather than listen to the person who brought you up, then quite frankly you don't deserve an explanation from me."

"Sweetheart," Astoria addressed Scorpius, moving to sit on the arm of his chair. "You must understand, you've had a very sheltered upbringing. Your dad, when he was a teenager... well, he didn't have it quite so easy as you do. He was forced into making some very scary decisions. You have to trust me when I tell you, your dad did what he did for the right reasons. Even if you find that hard to believe - "

"Don't humour him, Astoria, he's already made up his mind," Draco said angrily. "How hard it must have been growing up with a terrible person like me as a father."

"Draco, stop. He doesn't think that."

Scorpius looked nervously from his mum to his dad. He'd had plenty of arguments with his dad before now, but never had he seen him lose his temper like that. It scared him.

"Clearly, Astoria, he does think that. He won't even let me try and explain things to him. Let's just forget everything that's happened since then - the time I've spent caring for _both of you_ even when it came close to breaking me. Because obviously, the fact that I made some bad choices as a sixteen year old say far more about me as a person than anything I've done since."

Scorpius looked down at the floor, starting to feel guilty now. Although he and Draco didn't often see eye to eye, Scorpius couldn't deny that Draco had always been a good dad. He thought back to when his grandfather died, and how Draco had told him that he was more confused than upset. Something clicked inside Scorpius' head. Perhaps the reason his father and grandfather didn't get along was something to do with the revelation he had just uncovered.

"It was because of grandfather, wasn't it?" Scorpius asked quietly. "The reason you became a Death Eater? That's why you and him ended up falling out."

Draco remained quiet, contemplating whether he should answer or not. But his son was angry and confused, and in need of answers. Draco found himself unable to deny him of that. Feeling a little more calm now he'd expressed his rage, he sat back down, leaning toward Scorpius slightly and looking him in the eye.

"Yes," he said steadily. "Your grandfather was a Death Eater. Out of choice. I was fifteen when he was caught and sent to prison. I was recruited to fill his place. I'm not going to lie to you, Scorpius, there was a time when I thought it was what I wanted. I grew up with a very warped view of the world because of my parents' beliefs. I was threatened, too. Lord Voldemort told me that if I didn't join and do as he told me, he would... he would kill me. And your grandfather and grandmother, too."

Scorpius stared blankly at his dad. He'd finally been stunned into complete silence.

"I was lucky to survive the whole thing, if I'm honest with you. And I was very damaged when I came out the other side. The war changed me. And then I met your mother and everything was suddenly not so bad any more. Not so painful... Look, I'm not going to excuse what I did - I made some very bad decisions and I wasn't ever strong enough to stand up to people. But you have to understand, Scorpius, I was a frightened child backed into a corner. Believe me, I paid for those bad decisions and I'm still paying for them today... as for my past being the reason we spend most of our time here at the house, you're right again - that's one of the main reasons I'm so insistent that we avoid going out in public. And yes, that is my fault, but that's unfortunately something I cannot undo."

Again, no word from Scorpius.

"Look," Draco said, deciding to offer an olive branch. "I'm sorry I shouted. I know it scared you... and scary is certainly not something I want my son to think I am. But these smart comments _have to stop_ , Scorpius, do you understand? Whatever you think of me, I am your father, and I deserve some respect from you. No matter what I've done in the past, I am still one of the people who raised you with the beliefs you have today. If you'd been raised the way I had, you wouldn't be the person you are now, and I _will_ take _some_ credit for that."

"Ok, dad," Scorpius finally spoke. "So, what are you going to do? Are you going to lock the library? I won't blame you if you do."

Draco stared at his son for a moment. "No," he said carefully. "I'm not going to lock the library because I know how much pleasure you get from reading and I don't want to take that away from you. But trust me, one more incident like this, and I will. Ok?"

Scorpius nodded. "Thanks."

"Also, what you said about only having an imaginary friend... I'm sorry you don't get to socialise with the other kids. But you will, at Hogwarts. You'll make friends there and you'll be happy... hopefully a lot happier than I ever was there."

"Oh, yes. Hogwarts! I've read all about that, too!" Scorpius stopped sounding fearful and his tone became somewhat excited. "I've read all about Harry Potter - " Draco tensed again. Astoria cast a nervous glance in his direction. She could tell he was biting his tongue. " - and what he got up to at Hogwarts. I reckon that - "

"Scorpius," she said gently, shaking her head Scorpius stopped talking and looked up at his mum. "Don't."

"What?" Scorpius was confused.

"We just... we don't talk about him, sweetheart. He's not someone that we - your father and I - particularly get along with."

Draco, who sat with his lips tightly pursed, felt grateful for Astoria's support.

"Right," Scorpius said. He had a feeling he'd pushed his luck too far for one night. "Sorry. I won't mention him again."

* * *

As the following weeks - and months - passed by, Scorpius made an effort not to antagonise his father. The revelation hadn't left him with the highest option of Draco, but Scorpius was attempting to accept the reasons behind the decisions his dad had made in his younger years. Although they still didn't have the greatest of father-son relationships, Scorpius was lucky enough to have a healthy relationship with his mum. Where Draco would grow tired of Scorpius' little comments, Astoria would find them witty or amusing, and she adored spending time with her son, especially when he would read aloud to her.

From the day Scorpius turned ten, he started checking the post for his Hogwarts letter. Draco sensibly informed him that it was still a few months at the very least before his letter arrived, but Astoria loved seeing him so excited. While she shared Draco's apprehension that Scorpius would take a while to settle in amongst the other children, she was sure that he'd love learning all about transfiguration and potions and, most of all, history of magic. It was over a year away, but she was already looking forward to the first time Scorpius would return home for the Christmas holidays.

In March 2017, after seven months of waiting, Scorpius finally received the letter he'd been hoping for. Astoria had laughed as he'd jumped for joy, and even Draco had managed to crack a smile. Just a few days later, Draco received an owl from Astoria's father, no less. Opening it hastily at the kitchen table, Draco found a small note and a folded up newspaper article. He unfolded the note first and read.

 _Draco,_

 _I promised myself I wouldn't tell you unless it got too bad. I feel that point has long been exceeded now. This needs to be addressed._

 _Vaughn_

Draco prepared himself for the worst as he unfolded the enclosed newspaper article. The reality was far worse than anything he could have imagined.

His blood boiling, he rose from the table and made to leave the room just as Astoria was coming in.

"You know the other day we - " Draco strode past her and didn't look back. She paused, confused. "Draco?"

Draco marched up to his office, ignoring the calls of his name that followed him as he went. Once inside, he slammed the door closed, threw the article down on his desk and stood very still, breathing heavily for a few seconds, before he became completely consumed with rage. He picked up a vase from the shelf and threw it violently across the room, where it shattered against the wall. He flipped his desk over and launched the chair at the wall. No object within his reach was safe. This went on for almost two minutes before Astoria yelled at him from the other side of the door.

"Draco! I'm coming in so don't you dare throw anything else!" She waited a few moments before entering the room, just to be safe. She looked around, horrified by the damage Draco had caused. He was leaning against the windowsill, panting heavily. "What the hell has got into you?" she shot at him. "You might not even be able to fix half of this stuff."

"I don't give a shit about the stuff!"

Astoria turned to find Scorpius standing nervously in the doorway. "Sweetheart, go to your room, please."

Scorpius glanced from Astoria to Draco, but didn't need telling twice. Moments later, he was gone.

"Do you mind telling me what this is about?" Astoria asked impatiently.

Silence hung in the air, before Draco used a non-verbal spell to levitate his desk, making his way over and picking the newspaper clipping up off of the floor.

"Let's go downstairs. You need to be sat down for this," Draco said solemnly.

Once in the lounge, Draco passed the article over to Astoria, his hand still shaking with rage, and she began to read. He cast a silencing charm on the room as she did so - this was not a conversation for Scorpius to overhear.

With every word Astoria digested, her eyes widened with horror. Once she'd finished reading, she stared at the paper blankly for a long while, suddenly feeling completely understanding of Draco's sudden outburst. Tears stung at her eyes.

"They - Voldemort? Voldemort the father of our child?! What the... who are the sick fucks that write this kind of hippogriff shit? Who in their right fucking mind could think of something so warped?! I feel sick. I think I'm actually going to be sick." She sounded hurt, confused and angry, and rightly so.

Draco was staring down at the floor so angrily it seemed as though his eyes were capable of burning through the carpet.

"Draco what - where has this come from? Do you have _any idea_ where the _fuck_ this has come from?"

Draco considered his response carefully. He knew Astoria wasn't going to like that he'd hidden things from her, even if it had been for her own good.

"A few years ago... your father, he... remember when we were both sick and we stayed at your parents'?"

Astoria thought for a moment. "Yes. Yeah, that was like... more than five years ago?"

"Yes. Well... your father brought to my attention that the Prophet had been writing about us. Things. Disgusting things. Lies. That we - that we used Dark magic to conceive a child. They picked up on the fact we'd disappeared before you got pregnant and... well, that's the conclusion they came to. I'm assuming, because of - well, because they have it in for me."

"I'm sorry," Astoria said slowly. "They wrote in the national paper that we used Dark magic to have a baby and you didn't think for one minute that that was something I should know about?"

"You were sick, Astoria," Draco said. "I was scared that knowing would only bring you more stress. I made a decision not to tell you because I feared for your health, and I asked your father not to say anything either."

Astoria hid her face in her hands. This was very difficult to get her head around. "So basically, you were worried I couldn't cope?" she asked quietly.

"Well yes, if you want to put it like that," Draco said irritably. "Forgive me for trying to look out for you."

Astoria shot him a filthy look. Now was really not the time for sarcasm. "So what..?" she said. "After six whole years of trying to figure it out, they've finally reached the _completely realistic_ conclusion that we used a time turner to get me pregnant with the child of the Dark Lord. Of course! Makes perfect sense!" Her voice had risen hysterically.

"It's fucking sick and it's twisted," Draco said angrily. "I can't even begin to get my head around it. How anyone could even _think_ that could be true. But of course, I'm Draco Malfoy - I would definitely be up for sending my wife back in time and letting her fuck the mass murdered who forced me into torturing people and threatened to kill me time and time again!"

Draco felt sick even speaking those words. He stood abruptly and made his way from the room. He needed a moment to compose himself and felt Astoria could probably benefit from the same.

* * *

"Everything," Astoria said as they lay in bed that night. "We promised to tell each other _everything_."

"Astoria, I told you my reasons," Draco said, sounding tired. "I was genuinely worried for your health. Don't forget, this was before you were on that potion. You were very ill."

"Ok, fine, I accept your reasons, but you've had six years to tell me since that day. Do you not think I deserved to know?"

"It just - I guess I just thought it would go away," Draco admitted quietly. "I certainly didn't expect this _shit_ storm." There was a long silence. "He looks exactly like me, for fuck sake! How could they even... what are we going to do, Astoria?"

His question shocked her. So often, Draco loved to be the one with all the answers; logical and protective, he was always the one to comfort Astoria when they were faced with difficult situations. This was the first time she'd ever heard him sound so desperate for help. She thought of everything he'd been through - everything Lord Voldemort had put him through - and understood how hard this must be for him to deal with.

"We'll be ok," she said eventually. "We always are."

"And what about Scorpius? In six months, he starts school. How is _he_ going to cope with kids running around saying he's the son of Voldemort?"

As the reality of the situation began to sink in, both Draco and Astoria had great trouble drifting off to sleep that night. All of Draco's worries about Scorpius heading off to Hogwarts were slowly becoming more and more justifiable and he didn't like it one bit. He had to act quickly, before he lost control. He had to stop these rumours - he just hadn't yet figured out how.

* * *

 **Author's notes:** _Thanks once again for your continued support with this story. You might have noticed that this is the first week I haven't updated on a Sunday or Monday. For the next few weeks, posts may not be as regular as they have been so far, but believe me when I say that I'm putting every spare minute I can into this story. I look forward to your feedback on chapter 18!_


	19. Chapter 19

Telling Scorpius about the rumours that Voldemort is his father was an incredibly difficult thing to do but, with just months to go until he headed off to school, it was something Draco and Astoria knew their son must be prepared for.

They had spent several weeks figuring out how the topic was best approached. With Voldemort having been dead for almost twenty years, this was going to be a difficult thing to explain in more than one respect. What was concerning for Astoria and Draco was that every moment Scorpius spent in the library, the more he found out about the events which had occurred during Voldemort's reign of terror. However, Draco never went so far as to stop Scorpius reading, because he knew it was something that would jeopardise their relationship even further.

In the end, it was Astoria who told Scorpius everything. She knew her son was partial to blaming Draco for everything,and she'd wanted to protect Draco from that. The rumours were already crushing him; he'd been visibly affected by them - sleeping less than usual, spending more time alone - he'd even disappeared from the house on several occasions without telling Astoria where he was going, which was most unusual. Astoria knew the last thing Draco needed right now was Scorpius deciding this was his fault.

As Astoria had explained everything, Scorpius sat quietly and listened. He stayed quiet for a long time afterwards. It was a lot to take in. Draco had sat in the corner of the room, contributing little to the explanation, which Astoria had suggested was for the best. At first, Astoria thought Scorpius had dealt with it quite well, but that night she went upstairs to find him crying into his pillow.

She walked over to his bed and sat down, resting a hand comfortingly on his back. Scorpius looked around, his eyes puffy and red.

"I'm going to have a terrible time at school now, aren't I?" he stuttered through his tears.

"No, my darling," Astoria said confidently, smiling warmly. "You are going to have a lovely time at school, learning lots of new things and reading lots of new books. You'll love it."

"I won't love it if I don't have any friends," Scorpius wailed. "Who's going to be my friend if everyone thinks I'm the son of Voldemort?"

"Scorpius, they're not going to think that. And hey, if they do, then they're not worth being friends with and it's their loss because I'm sure you'd be the best friend anyone could have."

Outside in the corridor, Draco stood listening to Astoria and Scorpius' conversation. She was so much better at this than he was.

"Even if they don't think that, no one's exactly going to rush to be friends with a Malfoy, are they?" Scorpius said bitterly, sitting up and wiping his tears away with his hand, looking at his mum earnestly.

His words pained Draco. He remembered when the Malfoy name was something to be proud of. Now, it was simply a name his son was ashamed to have. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, face tilted up towards the ceiling.

"Don't be silly. The other children won't care about things like that. They'll see you for you: smart and kind and funny. And anyway, you mustn't be ashamed of where you come from, Scorpius. You know, your dad didn't want me to take his name when we married - he was scared people would judge me. But I took it because I'm proud of him and how far he's come. You should be, too. I know you argue and... well, I know he's not very affectionate. But he loves you more than anything, Scorpius. No matter what people say, don't ever be ashamed that he's your father. He is a _good_ dad, and that's all that should matter to you, Scorp."

Astoria held Scorpius' eye waiting for a response. On the other side of the door, Draco stood feeling overwhelmed by Astoria's words.

Scorpius nodded slowly. "So, if anyone says anything, what do I do?" There was still a sadness in his eyes, although he'd stopped crying.

"You be the bigger person," Astoria said encouragingly, pulling her son into a hug. "You walk away confident in the knowledge that you are _not_ Voldemort's son because you have two parents who think the absolute world of you."

Scorpius hugged Astoria tightly. "I think the world of you too, mum."

Astoria smiled and kissed the top of Scorpius' head. He rose from the bed and it suddenly dawned on Astoria how quickly he was growing.

"You're growing up too quickly for my liking," she said. "You'll soon be taller than me."

Scorpius laughed. "Well, you are quite short, mum."

"Hey! Don't be cheeky!" Astoria said, although she was laughing too. "Your dad was always tall, I seem to remember... speaking of which, have you not noticed how much you and your dad look alike? Anyone who doubts he's your father is a complete idiot."

Scorpius smiled weakly. "Right, well, I'd better be getting ready for bed then."

Draco quickly made his way from his listening position to his and Astoria's room. He didn't want Astoria or Scorpius to know he'd been listening in, but he would certainly cherish Astoria's words forever. It was strangely comforting to hear her talk about him in such a way. After all these years, he still needed reassurance that he was a good father.

A short while later, Astoria joined him in bed and he pulled her close, kissing her lovingly.

Astoria giggled. "What's that for?" she asked. He'd been rather distant lately - because of the stress, she assumed. She longed for their closeness and their intimacy back.

"For being amazing," Draco said sincerely, kissing her again and looking her in the eye.

"You heard me and Scorpius talking, didn't you?" Astoria asked.

Draco waited a moment before replying. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yes," Astoria said, although she was smiling.

Draco laughed shortly before speaking openly. "I envy you, you know. You're so good with him. You always know what to say to make him feel better. All I seem to be able to do is make him feel worse."

Astoria shook her head slowly. "Draco, that's not true. You _are_ good with him. You're just not so good at all that emotional stuff." She smiled fondly.

"You think I should try harder, don't you?"

"I think you _could_ try harder. I mean, you're the parent... it's not Scorpius' job to try and strengthen your relationship. He's been better behaved lately... less cheeky. Maybe now it's your turn to try. Look... I know you didn't have such a close relationship with your parents the way we have with Scorpius. I know that... well, I _think_ you were emotionally repressed. It still shows. And it explains why you are the way you are with Scorpius. And I understand, I really do. But you need to try to overcome that because... well, when I'm not here anymore, he's going to need emotional support more than ever and you're going to be the only one that can give that to him."

Draco thought long and hard about Astoria's words, lying back against his pillow. She was absolutely right - he knew she was. And in many ways he'd succeeded in being unlike his own father. It was just situations like these where he fell short of the mark.

"I agree," he said eventually. "You're right. It's just, it's difficult, you know? I've changed in a lot of ways since I met you and especially since we had Scorpius. I guess it's just this... this lack of being able to show emotion. And... feeling awkward in emotional situations. I need to deal with it... somehow."

"At least the emotion _is_ in there. You just have trouble expressing it."

Draco chuckled softly. "Yep. There is a heart somewhere in there."

"A big one," Astoria reassured him quietly.

* * *

The summer of 2017 passed in a blur and, before they knew it, the time had come for Astoria and Draco to take Scorpius to Diagon Alley to buy his school supplies. Draco had been anticipating someone trying to cause trouble again but they day passed rather uneventfully and, more to the point, Scorpius seemed to enjoy himself. Flourish and Blotts had (rather obviously) been his favourite store and the three of them had even enjoyed a civilised meal at a new café that had not long opened in the Alley.

They'd even bumped into Blaise which had been a little awkward to say the least, but Blaise seemed to have taken Draco's rejection on the chin. They chatted for a minute or two in the street and when Scorpius had wandered over, Blaise had been knocked over backwards by how similar he and Draco were in appearance.

"Hello, Scorpius," he'd said. No introductions needed.

"Hello," Scorpius had said shyly, before wandering off and pretending to be interested in the latest model Nimbus which lay in the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies.

* * *

The night of August 31st, Draco knocked quietly on his son's door.

"Come in!" Scorpius called merrily. Draco entered the room. "Oh, hi dad."

"Hello, Scorpius," Draco said, walking slowly over to Scorpius' bed and standing and watching while he packed the last of his things into his trunk. "All packed then? I guess you're rather excited."

"I am rather, yes!" Scorpius said, placing his books carefully inside his trunk. "Finally, it's my turn to go to Hogwarts!"

Draco couldn't help but smile. "Indeed. Have you got everything you need? Jumpers? It gets cold up there, you know. A lot colder than here in Wiltshire."

"I know, dad. I've packed lots of jumpers, a couple of hoodies, my warmest coat... gloves... thick socks... a hat... as for a scarf, obviously I'll have to wait until I discover my fate before I get one of those."

"And... are you hoping for any house in particular?" Draco said, feeling a little anxious. Although he would love Scorpius no matter what house he was in, there were certainly some Hufflepuff traits in there and... well a Malfoy in Hufflepuff just didn't seem right.

"Well, I wouldn't mind being in Ravenclaw," Scorpius said honestly. "I mean, it's safe to say I'm not a Gryffindor... as for Slytherin..." He glanced at Draco. "Perhaps I will be in Slytherin. I know you want me to be."

Draco perched himself on the edge of Scorpius' bed. "Sit down for a minute," he said. Scorpius obeyed. A long pause. "You know it doesn't matter to me, right? What house you're in. If you're not put in Slytherin tomorrow, I don't want you to feel like... well, to feel worried about what I'm going to say."

Scorpius looked across at his father in mild surprise. Although he still felt Draco would be disappointed if he wasn't placed in Slytherin, he appreciated him assuring him it didn't matter.

"Thank you," he said sincerely.

"Don't thank me, Scorp. I just want you to be happy. You need to know that."

Scorpius looked at his dad once again, unsure of what to say. Luckily, at that very moment, his mum knocked on the door, saving him from having to respond.

"Mum!" Scorpius cried jubilantly. "How rare to have both of you in my room at the same time, especially since I haven't done anything wrong this time."

Draco cast Astoria a humorous glance and she smiled.

"Hey, Scorp," Astoria said warmly. "All packed?"

"Yes, yes," Scorpius replied in a bored voice, before reeling off the contents of his trunk once more.

"You're forgetting something, though," Astoria said.

"Am I?! Oh no! I was so sure I'd packed everything!" Scorpius cried, standing up in panic and gripping his hair in his hands dramatically.

Laughing, Astoria produced a large bag of sweets from behind her back. Scorpius' eyes lit up when he saw them.

"For the train tomorrow," Astoria said, handing them to him and pulling him into a hug.

"Thanks, mum," Scorpius said appreciatively, hugging her tightly.

"Sweets, they always help you make friends!" Astoria said in the sing-song voice she'd always used when Scorpius was upset as a small child.

The three Malfoys laughed together for a moment.

"I can't believe my baby boy is all grown up and off to school," Astoria said, her voice a mixture of happiness and sadness.

Draco watched over the two of them proudly. "It only seems like yesterday that I was holding you as a newborn," he said quietly.

Astoria turned to him and winked subtly. No matter how small, she could tell he was making an effort.

"Really?" Scorpius asked.

"Really. You were so small and I'd never loved anyone so much in my life."

Once again, Scorpius was left surprised by his father's words. He smiled shyly - awkwardly - unsure of what to say.

A short while later, Astoria and Draco bade Scorpius goodnight and left him alone in his room for what would be the last time until the Christmas break.

* * *

On the morning of September 1st, Astoria and Draco each gave Scorpius a hug in turn and watched as he climbed aboard the Hogwarts Express. Draco thought back to this time twenty-six years ago when it had been him in Scorpius' place and he could hardly believe everything that had happened between then and now. Right now, all he hoped was that Scorpius enjoyed his time at Hogwarts a lot more than he had.

"He'll be alright, won't he?" Astoria asked hopefully as they arrived back at the Manor.

"Of course he will," Draco said in an attempt to convince himself as much as Astoria. "Besides, if anyone picks on him, he'll just reel off a load of general knowledge in an attempt to impress them. _Then_ they probably wouldn't bother him again." He was joking of course. Astoria looked at him nervously. "I'm joking. He'll be fine. He's a smart kid and he can take care of himself."

"I really hope he makes friends," Astoria said, sounding more worried than ever.

"Me, too," Draco said, placing an arm comfortingly around Astoria's shoulders. "He'll have written to us within a couple of days. For now, let's just enjoy a little peace and quiet, shall we?"

Astoria giggled. "It's going to be weird, just the two of us again."

"It's been a bloody long time," Draco pointed out. Although he would miss having Scorpius about the place, he was certainly looking forward to spending more quality time with his wife.

* * *

Draco and Astoria's domestic bliss, however, was to be short lived. Unfortunately, after just two months alone in the Manor together, Astoria's condition started to take a turn for the worst and, after all this time, her body started to reject the potion which had kept her well for so many years.

By the time Scorpius (who had made it into Slytherin after all) arrived home for the Christmas holidays, Astoria was back to spending a couple of days in bed every week and Draco had resumed caring for her whenever needed. With any last hope of beating her illness ebbing away, Draco took an important step towards facing up to what was happening by registering himself as Astoria's official carer. 2017 - which had also brought Narcissa's passing - was certainly turning out to be an incredibly difficult year.

Of course, Astoria painted on a smile for her son as she listened to all his stories about Hogwarts, including how he'd befriended Harry Potter's son, Albus. As much as Draco had protested that he didn't object to Scorpius' choice of best friend, Astoria noticed the exasperation written all over his face. Nonetheless, she was proud of him for acting as though he couldn't care less.

* * *

Come June, a mildly disappointed Scorpius had returned to the Manor for the summer holidays. As much as the other kids at Hogwarts gave him - and Albus - a hard time, he still loved it there. From the lessons and the library, through to the moving portraits and staircases, the castle was the epitome of magic, and he adored it. If only all the students who were horrible to him would disappear, he'd never want to leave.

"You're enjoying it then?" Draco asked over the dinner table on his first evening back at home. Astoria was upstairs asleep.

"Oh, yes. It's brilliant!" Scorpius said, although there was a hint of sadness in his voice.

"And you aren't having any... problems?"

"What sort of problems?" Scorpius asked, playing dumb.

Draco sighed. He didn't expect to have to spell it out. "The rumours. Are people treating you well?"

Scorpius remained silent, thinking of how best to respond. The last thing he wanted was his father marching up to the school and making complaints, but he didn't exactly want to lie to him either.

"Well, it isn't _too_ bad, I suppose..."

"They're picking on you, aren't they? The other children?"

"Well, you know... if people think your dad is Voldemort, generally that will crop up from time to time."

"How bad is it?" Draco questioned, choosing to ignore his son's sarcasm.

Scorpius placed his knife and fork down on his plate. "Quite bad if I'm honest with you, dad," he suddenly burst out. "Constant remarks, name calling, making up stupid little songs. If I didn't have Albus... well, I'd feel a lot worse about the whole thing. But, as it is, I'm trying to be the bigger person and ignore it all."

Draco sighed again. "Right. Well, we'll see what we can do to put an end to all this. I'm not having this family slandered by schoolchildren."

Scorpius knew better than to respond; he and Draco finished their meals in silence.

* * *

With Astoria's condition deteriorating as the weeks of summer passed by, Scorpius became perfectly aware that his mother's condition was more serious than he'd ever believed. He asked questions, of course he did, but they were all brushed off by both his mum and dad. He remained patient. He knew they'd tell him in the end. They had to.

And he was right. Come mid-August, Astoria and Draco reached the decision that it was time to explain everything to Scorpius: the future wasn't looking good at all for his mum, and he had a right to know.

Exactly ten days after his birthday, his dad came to fetch him from his room and took him down to lounge, where Astoria was sat with a blanket over her lap, smiling as though silently willing him not to be scared. Scorpius dreaded what was coming. He seated himself next to her on the sofa and Draco sat down opposite them. It wasn't until that moment that Scorpius realised just how tired his dad looked.

"Scorp, there's something that me and your dad have to tell you," Astoria said quietly, reaching out and putting an arm around her only son. "And it's... it's going to take a while to get your head around but... well, you've been asking questions and we thought it was about time we were honest with you."

She looked across at Draco for support and he nodded encouragingly.

"You already know, don't you, that when you were born I was very ill? Because of a curse that was placed on my family a long time ago."

"Yes, mum," Scorpius said quietly. "Well, you haven't told me much about it but I do know that much."

"Yes, I can't deny it hasn't been our favourite topic of conversation in this family," Astoria admitted. "Anyway, when you were small, I was ill an awful lot and your dad used to take care of me sometimes, as well as you."

"I vaguely remember... I used to come and sit on your bed and keep you company. You used to spend a lot of time in bed. And then you were better. But now you're spending a lot more time in bed again so... you're very ill again, aren't you?"

Astoria blinked hard several times, willing herself not to cry. She had to be strong for her son. "Yes sweetheart, I am," she whispered. "And this time..." but she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. She produced a tissue and dabbed at her eyes which were now swimming with tears.

"Scorpius," Draco addressed his son quietly but seriously, understanding that this is where he should take over. "There's quite a big chance that mum is going to get a lot worse as - as time goes on. And we want you to be prepared because it's going to be hard. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes. I think you're saying that mum is going to be in pain. She's going to be - I mean, she _is_ suffering and the longer that goes on... the harder that's going to be."

Draco nodded. "On all of us," he said. "But most of all, your mother. And we... well, we can't be sure what the future holds. We just have to stick together and help her in any way we can."

"Are you in pain now, mum?" Scorpius asked, turning to Astoria, his voice breaking from struggling not to cry.

"No, my darling, I'm not too bad at all today," Astoria said, trying to smile. "But the longer it goes on, the less days I have where I feel normal. Me and your dad just wanted you to know, because you've been asking questions lately. But we don't want you to be scared, ok? Because this has happened before and the hospital found something that really helped. So we never know what's around the corner. At the same time, it's important not to be too hopefully because... this could turn out... very badly for me."

"Could you die?" Scorpius asked. As soon as the words escaped his lips he wished he hadn't been so blunt, but he had to know.

Astoria took Scorpius' face in her hands and looked him in the eye, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Yes," she whispered. "I could. I might. But I'm going to fight this. Do you know why?"

Scorpius shook his head, tears now falling down his own cheeks and splashing onto the palms of Astoria's hands. Draco squeezed his eyes tightly shut for a moment. He couldn't cry, not in front of his son.

"Because you and your dad make me want to beat this. _So badly_. I want to see you graduate from school and get top grades... I want to see you become successful... I want to see you fall in love like we did, and get married. So... you have to believe me when I tell you I'm going to fight this horrible illness for as long as I can."

Scorpius' tears only flowed faster. He couldn't bear the thought of life without his mother in it; she made him feel safe and happy and loved. He needed her.

"Your mother and I, we were told that having you would be the last thing she ever did," Draco said quietly. "They were wrong. Your mum is a strong woman, Scorpius. The strongest. But there is no cure for her illness. She may seem better at times, but this will never go away, not really. I'm not trying to be negative, but I want you to understand what is happening. We don't want you kept in the dark any longer."

Scorpius nodded and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He took a deep breath. "Ok," he whispered. "I do. Understand, I mean."

"Is there anything you want to ask us? Because now would be a good time," Draco said.

"No, I - I don't think so. I - I can't think." Scorpius started becoming flustered.

"It's ok," Astoria said soothingly, holding him close to her and rocking gently. "It's ok, Scorpy. We'll be ok."

"I'll give you a moment," Draco said, standing up. "Perhaps I'm not being as helpful as I could be, right now." He bent and kissed the top of Astoria's head, briefly running his fingers through her hair.

Astoria clutched at his arm, silently telling him that he didn't have to go. She looked at him pleadingly as Scorpius continued to cry in her arms.

"Concentrate on him," Draco muttered, nodding at Scorpius. "You need some time. If you need me, I'll be upstairs." He wasn't running away - not from this. He simply felt that Astoria and Scorpius genuinely needed some time alone.

Astoria nodded in understanding and he left the room quietly.

Of all the difficult days he and Astoria had faced together, August 16th 2018 was one of the worst that Draco could recall. As they'd explained to Scorpius that Astoria may not make it through her illness, it had really hit home just how difficult supporting Scorpius through his teenage years would be without her around. It was something he hadn't thought much about over the last few years. Right now, he could hardly think of anything else. All he could do was wonder how he'd ever make it through the other side when the worst eventually happened.


	20. Chapter 20

On September 1st 2018, Draco awoke early to take Scorpius to King's Cross. He'd gently woken Astoria to see if she wanted to join them but she was feeling far too sick. Draco knew this would upset Scorpius, but there was nothing he could do.

He quickly rustled up some breakfast so that Scorpius wouldn't have to travel to school on an empty stomach.

"Where's mum?" Scorpius asked as soon as he entered the room.

"She's not well at all today. Just you and me going to King's Cross, I'm afraid." Draco sat down at the dining table and rubbed his brow with the tips of his fingers.

"Are you ok, dad?" Scorpius asked nervously, joining his father at the table and attempting to mask his disappointment that his mum wouldn't be joining them at King's Cross.

"Me?" Draco said, surprised his son had asked. "Yes. Of course."

A silence fell over them and Scorpius began to eat, although he wasn't feeling at all hungry. He was too worried about his mum. A short while later, Draco looked up to see that Scorpius had left half of the food on his plate.

"Come on, Scorpius. We have to be leaving soon."

"Will... will mum be here when I get back for the Christmas holidays?" Scorpius asked suddenly, his voice fearful.

Draco sighed with sadness, before allowing his eyes to meet Scorpius'. "Of course she will be. She's not going anywhere, not now. You've got nothing to worry about." As he spoke, Draco wasn't even sure he believed the words that were coming out of his mouth, but what else was he supposed to tell Scorpius? He had to at least try to remain positive.

"Ok," Scorpius whispered, his mind slightly more at rest. "I'd better go and say goodbye to her," and leaving the rest of his breakfast untouched, Scorpius left the table and disappeared from sight.

* * *

Almost two hours later, Draco caught sight of Harry Potter on the platform at King's Cross after making sure Scorpius made it safely to the train. Over the last year or so, Draco had visited the Ministry several times in vain attempts to stop the rumours about Scorpius' parentage circulating. He'd previously spoken to Harry about it on more than one brief occasion, but had always been brushed off. Now, he approached Harry abruptly and got straight to the point - he had no time for smalltalk, especially with Astoria sick at home.

"I need a favour," Draco announced, not even bothering to say 'hello'.

Harry turned. "Draco," he said, more than surprised at being approached by his former nemesis in public. Draco usually came straight to his office if he had something he wanted to say.

"These rumours - about my son's parentage - they don't seem to be going away. The other Hogwarts students tease Scorpius about it relentlessly. If the Ministry could release a statement reaffirming that all the time turners were destroyed in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries..."

"Draco, just let it blow over - they'll soon move on."

"My son is suffering," Draco said forcefully. "And - Astoria hasn't been well recently, so he needs all the support he can get."

"If you answer the gossip, you feed the gossip. There've been rumours Voldemort had a child for years. Scorpius is not the first to be accused. The Ministry, for your sake as well as ours, needs to steer well clear."

Furious, Draco turned and walked away. Although Potter didn't exactly owe him any favours, he'd thought he might show a little compassion - he'd even brought himself to mention Astoria being ill, which he never did to anyone. He simply didn't talk about it. Beyond angry at yet another unanswered cry for help, Draco apparated back to the Manor.

He went straight upstairs to check on Astoria and was surprised to find her awake.

"Did Scorpy get off ok?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"Of course," Draco reassured her. He made his way across the room and sat down on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired... but I wanted to check with you that he was ok. He was really upset when he came to say goodbye."

"Yes, he was upset. I think we both know he'd much rather you took him to the station than me..." Draco said, deciding not to tell Astoria what Scorpius had asked before he'd left. He stroked Astoria's hair gently away from her face. "You get some rest. When you wake up I'll get you something to eat."

"Draco..." Astoria said softly as he made to leave. He turned back as he reached the door. "Are _you_ ok?"

"Me? Fine. Why'd you ask?"

"I'm worried about you," Astoria said quietly. "You've been dealing with a lot - "

Draco held his hand up to silence her. "I'm fine. I still have you here, don't I?"

"For all the use I am," Astoria scorned herself.

"Hey," Draco said sternly, walking back over to the bed and taking her face in his hands. "I don't want to hear it. You're _here_. I don't _need_ anything else."

* * *

Come Christmas, Astoria was the worst Draco had ever seen her; there was barely one day a week, these days, where Astoria managed to get out of bed and do things for herself. It wasn't caring for her that bothered Draco. It was the endless thoughts about how she wasn't going to be around for him to care for much longer. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, he knew that Astoria's condition was rapidly deteriorating and she had, at best, probably a year left. He knew that she realised, too - they just had an unspoken agreement not to talk about it. Whether that was a good thing or not was another question.

Together with Scorpius, they spent Christmas day shut away in their bedroom. Astoria was in a lot of pain, though of course, insisted on staying awake so they could enjoy the day together as a family. Scorpius had opened his presents rather halfheartedly, much like he had on his fourth birthday following Draco's altercation in Diagon Alley.

"What's wrong, darling?" Astoria asked quietly. "Don't you like your presents?"

"You can blame me if you don't," Draco said.

"No, it's not that... they're great... thank you," Scorpius said slowly. "It's just that... I'd much rather have you better, mum, than any of these _things_. I don't need things."

"Oh, sweetheart," Astoria whispered.

"None of us need things, Scorpius," Draco said, sounding tired. "And I can assure you, I'd rather have mum better, too. I'd give anything. But some things... money can't buy everything."

"Do we have to talk about this now?" Astoria asked desperately. "Please can we just have one day where we can be happy and _try_ to pretend that everything's ok?"

"Of course," Draco said, with zero conviction in his voice. "If that's what you want." He checked his watch. "Astoria, your family will be here very soon, actually. I think I'll... I'm going to leave you to it for an hour. You should spend some time with them without me lurking in the corner." He stood up.

"You don't lurk, Draco. And they're your family, too."

Draco cast Astoria a look that said 'thank you, but I'm not quite sure I agree'. She nodded as if to say 'do what you want', and with that, he left the room.

After a minute or two, Scorpius broke the silence between he and his mother.

"I don't think dad's very good at the whole pretending thing..." he mumbled.

Astoria laughed. "No, he's not is he?" She scrunched up her face playfully and shook her head.

"I can't often pretend, either," Scorpius admitted. "I can't pretend that I'm not scared. The thought of you ever not being here..."

Astoria sighed. She didn't much want this conversation to continue but she could tell Scorpius did, and what he wanted was far more important.

"You'll have your dad," Astoria said. "And I know he's not me... and I know I've told you this before... but he is a _good_ father. He cares about you so, so much. He just doesn't express it very openly. It's his way. And I wish I could tell you that will change but, well, it probably won't. The two of you will just have to work something out. But I _know_ you'll be ok."

Scorpius considered his mother's words. "But all that stuff. The stuff I found out about dad being a Death Eater - "

"Scorpius, stop. You have to let that go. That was a shock for you, of course it was, but I stand by your dad - that was a long time ago and his heart was in the right place. He was incredibly misguided. He's a better man than you think he is, and if you can't see that yet, you're just going to have to trust me."

"Misguided? But he's always banging on at me about 'being a leader'... it seems he could have done with a little of his own advice back then."

"Why do you think he's so insistent that you learn to stand on your own two feet? Because _he_ never did. He wants you to learn from his mistakes. Is that really something that warrants criticism?"

"I - when you put it like that..."

"I'll tell you something about your dad, shall I?" Scorpius nodded in response. "He told you, didn't he, that he made the wrong decisions because of how Lucius brought him up?"

"Yes, that grandfather was a Death Eater out of choice. I can't say that came as a huge surprise."

"No. Well. Your dad struggled a lot, standing up to your grandfather. You know what he was like. He had very... _extreme views_... on a lot of things."

"Yes, yes, and dad felt he had to have the same perspective of the world. I know," Scorpius said, sounding bored. He'd heard it all before.

"Yes. But do you know when he decided to finally stand up to him?"

"When?" Scorpius asked, intrigued.

"Your grandfather didn't want me and your dad to be married," Astoria explained. "He didn't really like me, Lucius."

Scorpius looked surprised. He'd rarely spent time in the same room as his mother and grandfather together, and had never actually noticed any animosity between them.

"But how could he not like you? How could anyone not like you?" Scorpius was dumbfounded.

Astoria smiled. Scorpius' words brightened her day. "You're kind, Scorpius," she said proudly. "But Lucius thought I was, what were his words, 'too weak and too muggle loving'? _That_ was the last straw for your dad. He stood up to _him_ to defend _me_ , and I'd never seen anything so brave. And that is how I know that you and your dad will be just fine when I'm not here. Because he loves you just as much as he loves me, and he would do anything for you. _Anything_."

"So, standing up to grandfather was like his biggest fear?" Scorpius asked.

Astoria nodded slightly. "It seemed to be..." Noticing Scorpius trying to process all this, Astoria went on: "Look, I'm not saying your dad's perfect. He's not. None of us are. But you have to trust in him a little more, ok? He brought you up to be kind. I'd say that already makes him miles better than Lucius, wouldn't you?" Astoria raised her eyebrows at her son expectantly.

Scorpius smiled and nodded. "Yes, I suppose it does." He meant it. There was a long pause. "Does dad... ever... say anything to you about me being friends with Albus? I know him and Albus' dad hate each other."

Astoria smiled. "He doesn't really talk about it. I don't think he's jumping for joy, but he wants you to be happy so I think he just gets on with it."

"Pretending it didn't happen, then?" Scorpius said, though not bitterly. He found it rather amusing. "Perhaps dad is a little jealous. I mean, didn't he want to be friends with Harry in the first place? Ha! How funny that his nerdy, awkward son can make friends with a Potter and he couldn't, even though he was meant to be _cool_!"

Astoria laughed at her son. "Don't you go letting him hear you say things like that!" She grinned. "You are funny, Scorpy."

"Well, that's good. I like to make you laugh, mum. You... sort of... light up when you laugh."

"Come here," Astoria beckoned at Scorpius to join her up on the bed and he did. She held open her arms and Scorpius leaned in for a hug. She held onto him very tightly, not wanting to let go. How she wished she would be around to see her wonderful boy grow up. "I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you too," Scorpius said, his voice muffled by Astoria's hug.

Eventually they broke apart and smiled at each other sadly. Minutes later, Astoria's family arrived and gathered around her bedside, her mum unloading a huge bag of presents.

"Did you apparate in?" Astoria asked as Daphne ruffled Scorpius' hair playfully.

"Outside. Draco let us in," her father replied.

"Yep, he was his usual cheerful self!" Daphne joked. "I see he's decided not to join us? More important things to do, I suppose. I even went to the trouble of getting mum and dad on a promise not to ruin Christmas for him this year."

"Hey, we haven't given Draco agro for years, thank you!" her mum pointed out. "He... well, he's been good to Astoria, hasn't he?" she added rather quietly, refusing to make eye contact with either of her daughters. Vivian hated being proved wrong more than anything.

"Praise indeed!" Astoria said. "But yeah, Daph's right, he doesn't really seem to be in the mood this year. He's... not really been himself lately..."

"Grumpy... unwelcoming... seems like the Draco we know and love to me!"

Scorpius laughed at Daphne's joke a little too enthusiastically, provoking an angrily raised eyebrow from his mother. He cleared his throat nervously and straightened his face. "Sorry," he mumbled, looking away from his mother guiltily.

After they exchanged gifts, Astoria and her family sat around making pleasant conversation. Naturally, after a while, the questions started: how have you been? Are you in pain? Astoria wanted to hear no more of it, especially now she was aware of just how much it was upsetting Scorpius. She shut down her mother, father and sister's questions and insisted that they change the subject immediately.

Eventually, after almost three hours, Draco decided to show his face.

"Alright," he mumbled as he entered the room quietly.

Astoria's family greeted him equally as unenthusiastically, watching him as he seated himself over in the corner of the room - where else?

"You look exhausted," Daphne said suddenly, actually looking at him with some concern.

"Really? Can't imagine why that would be," Draco retorted in the monotone voice he often reserved just for Daphne.

Vivian and Vaughn both eyed Draco for a long moment before nodding at each other subtly.

"Draco, can we have a private word?" Vivian asked gently.

Everyone in the room exchanged glances with each other. Draco sighed. Astoria opened her mouth to protest, but he shook his head at her and held the door open for his in-laws before leading them downstairs to the lounge. There, the three of them sat down in awkward silence for a moment. Draco rubbed his eyes, which were itchy from tiredness.

"Daphne was right, you really do look exhausted," Vivian said, mildly concerned, though she cared very little for Draco. She was more worried that he wasn't best placed for looking after Astoria alone.

"I'm fine," Draco said, his tone insistent. "Astoria and I... well, we are as we are. We get by as best we can."

"We do appreciate everything you do for her," Vaughn admitted. "You've kept her going through some pretty hard times."

Draco couldn't find the right response, so remained silent.

"I know you're as stubborn as they come, Draco, but you don't have an easy job, being registered as a full-time carer," Vivian said. "If you ever need help caring for Astoria, you only have to say the words. You don't have to do it alone, Draco."

"I want to. I owe it to her. And there isn't anyone else I would trust to do the job. At least if I do it myself, I know she's being properly looked after."

"Struggling alone isn't doing her any favours. She says you've been moody lately, or rather, 'not in the mood'."

"Well, yes, Vivian, I suppose I haven't really been much in the mood for celebrating. As I said, we do the best we can. Unfortunately, it can't always be fake smiles and pretending that everything's ok."

"We understand that it must be difficult, caring for her day after day but - "

"No," Draco cut across his mother-in-law, anger rising in his voice. "Caring for Astoria is not difficult. What's difficult is having to deal with the fact that my wife probably won't be here next Christmas!" Draco's voice cracked. Speaking those words made him feel as though he could cry right there and then, but he wouldn't; Vivian and Vaughn clearly already believed that he wasn't coping, and breaking down in tears wasn't the way to go about proving to them that he was.

He got up and made his way over to the window, staring out of it for a long while before turning back to face Vivian and Vaughn.

"And do you know what else is difficult? Knowing that your son is scared of losing his mother and not being able to do anything about it. Not a damn thing. I mean, let's face it, I'm not what he needs, am I? On top of that, I have him doubting my ability as a father because he figured out that I was a Death Eater after reading a book. And hey, not to mention the fact that the whole of the wizarding community in this country is going around saying that the father of my child is actually Voldemort! You know what, if the worst you can say is that I look exhausted I must be doing something right, because what I actually feel like doing is crying myself to sleep at night. But I don't. Because I have a wife and a son who need me to be strong. So, please accept my sincerest apologies that I'm tired and that I'm not getting into the _festive spirit_ this year, but perhaps you could all cut me some fucking slack."

Leaving Vivian and Vaughn in stunned silence, Draco left the room, grabbed his cloak from the hallway and headed outside to the gardens. He needed to be alone.


	21. Chapter 21

Day by day, Astoria's condition deteriorated further. Saying goodbye to her son as he'd headed back to Hogwarts after Christmas had been even more painful than ever because this time, she truly didn't know whether she'd see him again. Astoria knew that there was only so much longer she could carry on fighting.

As the weeks passed, Draco found himself having to do more and more for Astoria and the worse she became, the more numb he felt inside. He hadn't spoken to her parents since Christmas day, choosing to reach out to Daphne if he needed to pass a message along to Astoria's family. They still visited regularly, but he'd just make himself scarce so as to avoid their constant questions and telling him what was best for his wife.

Come March, Draco was often finding himself having to carry Astoria to the bathroom and place her in the bath, where he would scrub her back gently and help her wash her long, brown hair. On the worst of days, he would even have to help her eat.

Sometimes, he and Astoria would have conversations as normal; other times, they would look at each other for long moments, unable to find the words to express what they wanted to tell each other. Astoria could see the heartbreak in Draco's eyes and she hated it. She'd often fall asleep, and wake up hours later to find him sat by her bedside, watching over her. He'd do his best to smile, but she knew it was getting more difficult for him with every day that passed.

When Scorpius returned for the easter break, he'd returned to find his mother much worse than she had been the last time he'd seen her. It was then that he knew for sure that his mum wouldn't be there to welcome him home for much longer. It hurt so much but he didn't talk about it - not to Draco, not to Albus, not to anyone.

One day over the holidays, Scorpius was sat reading in his room when Draco knocked quietly on the door, pushing it half way open.

"Scorpius, your mum wants to talk to you."

Scorpius looked up from his book towards his father, who had his long hair loose. Scorpius couldn't recall ever seeing his father wear his hair down - it was always pulled back into a perfectly neat, braided ponytail.

"Is she ok?" Scorpius asked, instantly worrying.

"Yes, she's doing ok. But you should spend some more time with her while you're home." His words were meaningful. He wanted Scorpius and Astoria to spend every minute together that they could.

"Ok, dad," Scorpius said quietly, placing his book down and heading into his parents' room. His mother looked well - better than she had most recently, anyway.

"Hey, Scorpy," she said, smiling. "Come here." She patted the bed. "I want to give you something."

Scorpius crossed the room anxiously and perched himself on the edge of his father's side of the bed. Astoria reached into her bedside table and retrieved several vials.

"I want you to have these," she said, passing them carefully to Scorpius.

He held them up, intrigued by the silver substance inside. After a few moments, he realised what they were. "Memories," he whispered in surprise.. Astoria nodded. Scorpius looked at her, confused. "But, why?"

"Because I don't want your last memories of me to be like this," Astoria explained. "And because I want you to see for yourself that your father is a good man. There's three memories, ok? Remember when I told you about your dad standing up to your grandfather? That's one of them. Then there's one from our wedding day, and one from when you were a tiny baby."

Scorpius' mouth hung open. These were his mum's most precious memories and she was giving them to him. He didn't know what to say.

"You don't have to look at them any time soon," Astoria went on, not wanting Scorpius to feel under pressure. "You can look at them any time you like, really... but I feel happier knowing that you have them. I hope they will make you smile and I hope they will make things easier between you and your dad, because you can't go on the way you are, Scorpy. When I'm gone, you will need each other more than ever."

"I know," Scorpius whispered, his eyes starting to fill with tears. He blinked hard, willing them to disappear. He cradled the vials carefully in his hand as though terrified of breaking them. "Does dad know?"

"That I've given these to you? No. I haven't told him yet, and I'm not sure if I will. To be honest, I'm not sure what he would make of it. They're very personal memories. I'm giving them to you for the right reasons, but maybe it's best we keep it to ourselves. Unless you're uncomfortable with that, of course."

Scorpius shook his head. "We can keep it between the two of us, mum. Sort of like a secret."

"It's a good secret, right?" Astoria asked, as though trying to convince herself that it was ok to keep this one thing from her husband.

"It is," Scorpius reassured her with an awkward smile.

* * *

Come May, Astoria needed around-the-clock care; she didn't get out of bed by herself anymore and would spend, at best, three hours awake each day. She was now finding it difficult to carry out the simplest of tasks, and relied on Draco for absolutely everything. Through everything, she couldn't believe how strong he'd been. She would never have got through the last year without him and she was more grateful than she would ever be able to express.

One Thursday afternoon, Astoria's mother and father turned up for their regular visit. Astoria, however, was asleep and had been for the last sixteen hours. They sat by her bedside for a while, watching over their youngest daughter with sadness. It was almost five o clock when she stirred, and the first thing she did was ask for Draco. Mildly hurt that Astoria didn't want her help, Vivian made her way out into the hallway and called to Draco. He appeared silently moments later, not even bothering to speak to his mother-in-law.

"Astoria's asking for you," she informed him.

Draco pulled his office door closed and made his way hurriedly down the corridor.

"How long have I been asleep?" Astoria groaned when she saw him.

"Since late yesterday evening," Draco told her gently. "Not far off a whole day, now."

Vivian and Vaughn watched as Draco lifted Astoria from the bed and carried her out of the room. Astoria was petite, and had always been rather slim. With her appetite dwindling, she was losing weight rapidly. Draco carried her with ease, as though she were as light as a feather.

Several minutes later, he returned, placing her down on the bed before fetching her pain relief potions and helping her drink them.

"Ok?" he asked, placing down the empty beakers.

Astoria nodded. "Thank you."

"Stop thanking me, Astoria." He gave a small smile, which she returned. "I'll leave you to it. Your parents have been waiting here a while, I'm sure you have things to talk about."

* * *

The following week, Draco visited the Greengrass residence for the first time in a long while. Daphne had left a jacket at the Manor a couple of days previously, and he wanted to return it to her.

"I won't be staying," he announced as he made his way into the lounge. "I can't leave Astoria for too long in case she wakes up. Is Daphne here?"

"No, but she should be soon. She's having dinner with us tonight," Vaughn said.

"Right," Draco said. He couldn't have cared less where Daphne was having dinner. "Well, she left this at ours. Can you make sure she gets it?" He slung Daphne's jacket across the back of an armchair.

"Of course. And while you're here, Draco, there's something we'd like to say. Away from Astoria's ears. Could you sit down for a moment?"

"No, thank you. I'll stand. What's the problem now?" Draco's automatic reaction whenever his in-laws addressed him was to go on the defensive, these days. No one could blame him.

"Draco, you're not going to like this," Vivian began, trying to choose her words carefully. "But... well, we've seen recently just how much you're doing for Astoria. We can see that... well, we can see that she's much worse in recent weeks. And... it's not that we don't think you're doing a good job, but..." Vivian found herself too afraid to tell Draco hers and Vaughn's opinion. She looked towards her husband for help.

"We think, Draco, that it would be best for Astoria - and for you - if she goes into hospital for full-time care. And before you lose your - "

"What?!" Draco shouted. "Put her in hospital? With a bunch of strangers?! You know something, every time you talk to me you never cease to amaze me with your ignorance, both of you. If you appreciated what I was doing - and for the record, I couldn't give a damn whether you do or not - you would _never_ suggest something so insulting. She is my _wife_! _No one_ understands what she needs better than I do! How dare you suggest otherwise?!"

"Draco, just stop shouting for one moment and take a look at yourself!" Vaughn said. "You lose your temper at the drop of a hat! You can't tell me that's good for our daughter."

"I never lose my temper around Astoria!" He paused, lost for words. Whenever he thought his wife's parents couldn't be any more insulting, they always managed to pull something out the bag. "What is wrong with the pair of you? You've had it in for me since day one and it just - you know something, you might think you know what's best for Astoria more than I do, but you don't. It's me who's been with her since the beginning. Since we found out that this curse was going to kill her. And you? The stress you've brought her from not letting things lie has been unimaginable. In fact, it's probably made her worse. She has maybe months left to live and still, you can't just let us be!" Draco was shouting so loudly, it was starting to hurt his throat.

At that moment, Daphne appeared in the doorway. "What the hell is going on?" she asked, looking from a raging Draco to her parents.

Draco turned to look at her. "I'll tell you what's going on," Draco barked. "Your mother and father are telling me to give up on your sister and dump her in a hospital ward!"

"What?" Daphne breathed. "Is this true?" She looked towards her parents.

"Yes," Vaughn said. "Look at him." He waved his hand towards Draco. "The pressure is getting to him. Astoria needs professional care."

Draco's jaw clenched, his hand reaching inside his robes and grasping hold of his wand. He was far too close to pulling it on his father-in-law for comfort.

"I'm sorry," Daphne said loudly. "But you're wrong. If you think there's anyone who is better placed to take care of Ria, then you're both idiots. You know something: when Astoria got together with him, no one was more angry about it than I was. I didn't know Draco well, but I certainly knew him better than either of you, or even Astoria did. But he has proved me - and you - wrong, time and time again. To be quite honest, it amazes me, what he's done for her. And still, you continue to doubt him and, quite frankly, treat him like crap. He's done for your daughter what not even you two could have done. What do you do? Visit once, maybe twice a week? You wonder why he's stressed, why he's angry... it's you! You're making him that way! Taking care of Astoria is not making him stressed. I've seen him when he's around her and he copes just fine. The only time he ever gets like this - let go of your wand, by the way," she shot at Draco. "- is when you _make_ him like this! This is not doing anyone any favours, least of all Astoria. So, for crying out loud, can we just let Draco get on with it? Because I for one certainly have no intention of seeing my sister put in care."

A silence fell across the room. Draco took a few deep breaths, trying to keep his anger under control. He looked at Daphne for a long while, unsure of whether to thank her or not.

"It seems there's nothing left to discuss, here," Draco said eventually, his tone stern. "So I'm going to get back to Astoria. Oh, and by the way," he said, turning back to Astoria's parents. "If you _ever_ question my ability to take care of my wife again, you will not be setting foot in the Manor anymore."

"You can't do that!" Vivian cried, standing up to face Draco.

"Try me," Draco said coldly, turning to leave. "I'll see you soon, Daphne," he added, before disappearing, certain that the argument would continue despite him having left.

* * *

That night, Draco climbed into bed next to Astoria feeling drained. He was sick and tired of arguing with Astoria's parents about one thing or another. He had, however, been pleasantly surprised by Daphne's fierce support. They still weren't the best of friends, but there had certainly been a vast improvement over the last fourteen years.

For a long while, Draco lay awake trying to imagine what his life would be like without Astoria.

"Fucking hell, I'm scared," he whispered to himself into the darkness.

"I know you are," came Astoria's response. It was almost inaudible, but startled Draco nonetheless. He'd had no idea that she was awake.

"How long have you been awake?" he whispered.

"Not long," she whispered back. "But since I am, you might as well talk to me." Her voice was weak, as though she were slowly fading away.

"There's nothing to say," Draco assured her. "Go back to sleep."

"No," Astoria said. "You either tell me what's on your mind, or I'll lie here waiting for you to." Draco was stubborn, but Astoria could be so in equal measures sometimes.

Draco moaned in desperation. "I can't, Astoria. I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because if I start talking, I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop."

A long pause. "Please, Draco, just - "

"Do you remember the way things were for me before I met you?" he relented fairly easily. "You just walked into my life and you made everything feel ok. Suddenly I could cope, I could deal with all the bullshit. I grew a backbone. I spend half of my time, these days, sitting and asking myself how I'm going to do this without you. How am I going to raise a teenage boy on my own? How am I going to be there for him when I know for a fact I'm going to be falling apart? I already _am_ falling apart."

"Draco, you knew it could end like this," Astoria reminded him gently.

"Knowing it and seeing it happen are two entirely different things," he said. "I'm watching you get worse day after day and I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I feel like... I feel like I'm going with you. I was always myself around you, good and bad... I don't know if I'll ever be able to be myself again after you're gone because you're such an important part of me."

Tears slid silently down Astoria's cheeks as her husband finally explained everything he'd been thinking and feeling over the last few months.

"And I'm not just scared for myself. I'm scared for our son. I'm scared that I'm... not enough for him."

Astoria sniffed. "Draco, don't _ever_ say that. You are the best father. _The best_. Don't you _ever_ doubt yourself as a parent again because I don't have the energy to keep arguing with you about it."

Draco remained silent for a long while. "I'm sorry - all these things I'm saying... they're selfish. I shouldn't even... I should be concentrating on you. On making you happy."

"Draco, I took a risk getting together with you, didn't I?"

Draco frowned, confused. He thought for a moment. "I suppose you did."

"Well I'll tell you now, it was worth it. The arguments with my family... my friends saying they couldn't understand me... the rumours and the gossip... I. Wouldn't. Change. A thing. You made me _so_ happy and you _still_ do. If I didn't have you and Scorpy, I probably would have got this over with a long time ago. I am in constant pain, and _you_ are the only thing that makes me want to keep going. And when I am gone, I don't want you to hold images of me lying in bed day after day. I want you to think of all the happy times we had together. Don't get me wrong, I know we've had some pretty bad times in the last fifteen years. But please, Draco, don't forget all the good ones. Don't forget the night we met... us laughing and dancing together... don't forget the day you asked me to be your wife... our wedding day... the day our baby boy was born... all those years we spent together, just the three of us. We found each other, Draco. We were _lucky_. Not everyone is lucky enough to find the person that was made for them. So when I'm gone and when you're missing me... just think of all the good times and how lucky we were to ever have them in the first place."

"I was lucky. I know that," Draco whispered fiercely.

"I don't want you to cry when you think about me, Draco. I want you to smile." Astoria took a long, shaky breath, fighting not to let the tears fall.

"Astoria... I... I will smile after a while but... now, I - "

"For now, I think we can cry," Astoria whispered, choking up.

Draco started to sob loudly, as though all he'd been doing all this time was waiting for someone's permission to let it all out. He started shaking violently. Months worth of emotion became unleashed. He just couldn't hold it any longer, not after everything Astoria had just said.

Astoria had never seen him so beside himself. She cried too; for herself, and for Draco. She knew how hard it was going to be for him.

For almost an hour, the two of them lay crying in each other's arms. It was gone one in the morning when the tears finally stopped. Astoria was completely exhausted and so was Draco, his head pounding. A short while later, they both drifted off into uneasy sleep.

* * *

 **Author's notes:** _That end scene was so easy, yet so difficult to write. It deeply upsets me, and I really wish that this wasn't the ending the writers of Cursed Child gave to Draco and Astoria - but it was. When I started writing this fic, I wanted to give everyone who loved this pairing a story that was true to CC, true to Draco and Astoria, and true to fans like myself. The purpose of this story was always to a) help me accept this awful storyline and b) hopefully help others do the same thing. If I receive any reviews, I'm expecting them to say how sad this chapter is. All I have to say is: I know! And I wish it could be any other way, but I have chosen to take CC as canon, no matter how much I despise it. Thank you for reading and reviewing, and more to come soon._


	22. Chapter 22

When Draco collected Scorpius from King's Cross at the end of the school holidays, his son had alighted from the train with Albus Potter. Draco stood, hands in pockets, waiting for Scorpius to bid goodbye to the Potter boy. He should feel irritation at the two being best of friends, but he didn't have the energy to care.

Out of the corner of his eye, Draco saw Harry and Ginny further along the platform, waiting for Albus and their older boy, James. He knew they were looking at him - he could feel it. Probably wondering why he was alone. Unless they already knew why, of course - Albus probably knew, which meant the rest of the Potter/Weasley clam almost certainly knew as well. Draco hated the thought of them knowing his private business, and suddenly felt the irritation he should about his son befriending a Potter.

"Hi, dad," Scorpius said as he reached his father, sounding happier than he had done on previous returns from Hogwarts.

"Hello, Scorpius," Draco said. "Good journey?"

The pair of them made to leave and Scorpius gave one final, enthusiastic wave in Albus' direction. Draco's tired eyes met Harry's for a brief moment but he didn't bother to acknowledge him in any way.

"How's mum?" Scorpius asked, looking up at his father as the two of them walked side by side.

"Looking forward to seeing you," Draco said. Anything to avoid telling his son the harsh reality of the how things had been at home lately.

* * *

Scorpius had been most upset to find his mother much worse than she had been when he'd last seen her during the easter break. She'd been asleep when he'd arrived home, but had greeted him with a hug several hours later, making conversation for a small while before falling back to sleep.

That night, Scorpius had retreated to his bedroom when Draco had arrived to help Astoria take her pain relief potion. Scorpius knew that his mother had been rather sick when he was small, but he had few memories from so long ago. Mostly, he knew his mum to be happy, bubbly and independent. It would certainly take a while to get used to seeing her the way she was now: frail, bed-ridden and entirely reliant upon his father.

Come late July, however, Draco finally admitted defeat after Astoria suffered a seizure - it was the only time Draco had ever felt out of his depth caring for her. It hurt in more ways than one when Astoria was admitted to St Mungo's for full-time care. Not only was he sure that he'd never have his wife at home with him again, but he felt life he'd failed her. Although he spent almost every waking hour by her side in her private hospital room, he hated himself for caving under the emotional and physical strain of caring for her twenty four hours a day.

Of course, her parents were happy that he'd finally made 'the right decision'. Surprisingly, they weren't insensitive enough to say as much to his face; he simply knew.

Most days, Draco would take Scorpius to St Mungo's with him, if only for an hour or two. Although Astoria would be asleep nine times out of ten, Scorpius always insisted that he wanted to come along to keep his mum company. He'd simply sit patiently, reading a book and waiting for her to wake up. If it happened to be a day where she slept through, he would simply kiss her cheek and head home with Draco without any complaints.

* * *

In mid-August, there was a slight improvement in Astoria's condition. She'd responded well to some extra medication and was now awake more often, and able to converse better than before. Draco had even seen her drinking a glass of water unaided - to many it would be irrelevant but to him it meant the world. Whenever Scorpius would tag along, Astoria would insist that he read to her for a little while, just like he had when he was small. Draco would often leave them alone, feeling somewhat out of place.

Whenever Draco and Astoria were alone, they would talk quietly. Draco would make a huge effort to revert to his old self, making sarcastic jokes and complaining about this and that. He knew that it was the little normality they had left that was keeping Astoria going.

On August 27th, Scorpius had asked Draco whether he should join him at the hospital, but Draco had said it was best for him to have a day or two away from the place - he was acutely aware that St Mungo's wasn't a great place for a thirteen year old boy to spend his entire summer holiday. He'd dropped him off with Vivian and Vaughn, along with his new saxophone (piano, violin and clarinet hadn't quite worked out, but he was slowly becoming rather accomplished at the saxophone).

"And don't worry about your mum," Draco had told him. "She's doing a little better lately. You can see her in a couple of days."

By early afternoon, Draco was by Astoria's side. They talked a little while before she drifted off into a deep sleep. Draco sat patiently, watching over her. Occasionally he would take her hand in his, twisting her wedding ring around her finger without even realising he was doing it. Every so often, he'd lift her hand to his lips and kiss it softly.

Around eight o clock, Astoria's eyes fluttered open. She turned slowly to face Draco, though her eyes weren't able to focus on him properly. She gave a small smile nonetheless.

"Hey," she whispered. "Where's Scorpy?"

"He's not with me today, Astoria, remember?" Draco said gently. "He's with your parents."

"Oh... yes," Astoria said weakly, although she had no recollection of Draco telling her previously. "I love you both so much," she whispered.

"And we both love you," Draco said, offering a flicker of a smile.

Astoria smiled and, within moments, had fallen back to sleep.

Some time later, Draco had dozed off in the chair beside Astoria's bed. He wasn't supposed to stay with her outside of visiting hours, but the healers often let him. Probably because they knew Astoria wouldn't be around for too much longer.

It was ten at night when Draco awoke with a start. Astoria's machines had started emitting all sorts of noises - worrying noises.

"What the - Astoria?" Draco said in a panicked voice, rushing to press the emergency button at the side of her bed. "Astoria?! Can you hear me?" He shook her gently - it took everything he had not to shake her more frantically. Why were her machines making all that noise?

Suddenly, three healers came bursting into the room, one of them asking to step out of the way.

"What's wrong with her?" Draco asked as he moved ever so slightly away from his wife's side. He was scared to go too far. The healers ignored him, concentrating on checking Astoria's pulse. "I said, what's wrong with her? What's happening?!" Draco demanded.

"No pulse," one of the healers muttered quietly to the others, though loud enough for Draco to hear.

"No - no pulse? No pulse?!" His heart was hammering inside his chest. He watched helplessly as the healers bustled around Astoria's bedside, one of them starting an attempt to revive her. "No... no, no... this can't be happening. This isn't happening." Draco turned his back on the scene, unable to watch. There had been improvements in Astoria's condition over the last week or so - the healers had been happy with her progress. And now they were saying something about there being no pulse. How was that possible?

Draco paced the length of the room anxiously, finally bringing himself to look back over towards his wife and the healers who were trying to help her. They were talking in medical lingo that Draco didn't understand. This was the singularly most horrifying moment of his life. After several minutes, he became rooted to the spot - so still he could have been petrified - watching as the healers battled in vain to save his wife.

After more than fifteen agonising minutes, one of the healers checked their watch. "Time of death, 22:19," they said sombrely.

"NO!" Draco yelled. "No! No! DO SOMETHING! KEEP TRYING! Don't let her... god, please don't let her go!" He felt his tears fall down his cheeks, warm and wet. "She was ok! She was doing ok! YOU TOLD ME SHE WAS DOING OK!"

"Mr Malfoy, we are very sorry. Your wife... she's just been fighting this too long. It's time to let her rest now."

"No, no, no, no, no," Draco shook his head furiously, unable to accept what was happening.

"We'll leave you two alone for a while. Take as much time as you need," one of the healers said softly, and the three of them left the room in silence.

Draco clutched manically at his head, walking away from where Astoria lay. After a minute or two, he approached Astoria's bedside again, slowly. He stared down at her body for many moments. Although she looked peaceful it didn't bring him much comfort; what he was feeling right now was the complete opposite of peacefulness. He started sobbing loudly, uncontrollably, unable to stop himself. He wanted to scream. They hadn't fought hard enough for her. They'd let his wife die. Suddenly, he felt the overwhelming urge to be sick. He ran to the corner of the room, making it to the bin just in time. He leant down, supporting himself against the wall, and threw up violently, retching and coughing for a minute or so. Afterwards, he leant back against the wall and sunk to the floor. Pulling his knees to his chest, he sat on the floor crying for what seemed like an eternity.

A while later, after taking a few shaky breaths, Draco slowly got back up and made his way over to where Astoria lay. He stood over her for a long while, trying to adjust to the feeling of complete emptiness which was now beginning to settle inside of him. He gently brushed her fringe away from her face, still afraid of hurting her. Then, after thinking about it for a moment, he kicked off his shoes and lay down on the bed beside her.

There, he remained still and silent for a very long time, tears still falling down his cheeks.

"Do you remember the night we first met?" he said suddenly, quietly. He wasn't sure why he was talking to her, he just felt like he had to. There was still so much left to say. "I was suspicious of you, wasn't I? Thought you were after something... I know it took me a couple of hours to come round, but I was interested right from the start... from the moment you caught my eye... You were so beautiful. You still are. If someone had pointed you out to me at that party and said 'she's going to be your wife in seventeen months' time' I would have laughed in their face. It would have been the only time I'd ever have been happy to be proved wrong."

He chuckled softly, sadly, to himself for a moment.

"I don't think I could really believe my luck when we turned into something serious... when you told me you loved me. You know something, when you first said that to me, that you loved me, I was terrified that you didn't really mean it. Or that you did mean it, but then you'd change your mind when you found out what hard work I was. No one would have stuck by me like you did. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you, Astoria, but I've been grateful from the very first day."

"You made me a completely different person... well, not completely... I'm still sarcastic... moody... stubborn... a bit of a bastard... but you made me much better. I never used to be strong but... I see strength in myself now... sometimes. I never thought I'd be a good dad but, I am... I think... so you kept telling me, anyway. And our son... our Scorpy... you gave him to me. You went through so much to bring him into this world. And as much as we butt heads, I'm so grateful to you for everything you went through just so we could have him. I would have done anything to take your pain from you, you know that? I wish it could have been me... I wish it could have been me who had to... I wish I could... I wish it was me laid there like you are now. I'd rather it was me."

A healer quietly poked their head around the door. "Mr Malfoy, is there anyone we can contact for you?"

Draco didn't answer for a long while. He was laid with his back to the door. "Yes," he said eventually. "Her sister."

The healer left without responding. After another long silence, Draco began to talk again.

"I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye, Astoria. I was right here with you and... and I didn't say goodbye. I know that I knew this was coming, I did... but... it doesn't make it any easier. You were doing ok. You were talking, moving about a bit. I didn't... I had no idea you were so dangerously close to the end and I'm so sorry." He began to cry again, not long after managing to gain composure. "I'm so, so sorry. I wish I'd said all of this to you while you were with me. I wish I could hear you laugh one more time... see you smile. It hurts, Astoria, it really fucking hurts. You're gone. You're really gone. And I'm saying it but it doesn't feel real. After all the months I've spent thinking about what I would do without you, I still don't know. I still don't know."

Draco took a deep breath, his tears having finally stopped again. He lay very still, struggling to come to terms with the fact that this was the last time he'd ever lie beside his wife.

A short while later he sniffed, wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and sat up, propping himself up on one hand. With the other, he tucked Astoria's beautiful curls behind her ears and straightened her engagement ring on her finger. She was starting to go cold now and it made him feel sick to his stomach. There he sat, for who knows how long, back to the door, watching over her like she was only asleep.

Eventually, the door opened. Daphne made her way slowly, anxiously into the room. She gave a sharp intake of breath when she saw Draco sat watching over her sister.

"She's - she's..." She couldn't bring herself to even say it.

Draco turned to face his sister-in-law. He nodded slowly at first but then more certainly, tears welling in his eyes once again.

"No," Daphne whispered. "No."

Draco looked back down with deep sadness and, before he knew it, he was sobbing once more. Without hesitation, Daphne crossed the room and sat beside him on her sister's bed. She looked down at Astoria for the briefest of moments before looking away again. Her baby sister was gone. She considered Draco as she began to cry herself. After several moments, she pulled him towards her.

On any other day, Draco would never have cried in front of Daphne, let alone allowed her to hold him in her arms in a similar way to how Astoria had several times before. But tonight was the night he had lost his wife. His world had fallen apart. Tonight he was grieving like he had never grieved for anyone in his life. If there was ever a time when he needed a shoulder to cry on then it was now, and if that shoulder had to be Daphne's then so be it.

Daphne hugged Draco tightly as he sobbed, and she too cried like she'd never cried before. The gravity of the moment was huge, but they were both too overwhelmed with grief to realise.

After a long while, their tears subsided, and Draco extracted himself from Daphne's embrace. They sat in awkward silence for a minute or two.

"Were you with her?" Daphne asked quietly. She hated the thought of Astoria being alone.

"Of course," Draco assured her. "I was never really anywhere else, was I?"

Daphne smiled sadly. He was right.

"I just... I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't realise... I didn't know it would be today." His voice was full of self loathing.

"Draco, how could you know?" Daphne said softly. "None of us knew."

"I was the one who was here every day. Every hour, almost. I'm her husband. I should have known..." He paused. "At least I got to speak to her before she went. She woke up..."

"Well, that's good," Daphne said encouragingly, reaching out and covering her sister's hand with her own. "What did she say?"

"She said 'I love you both so much.'"

"You and Scorpius?"

Draco nodded.

"She did," Daphne whispered. "She really did."

"I told her that we both loved her too." Draco spoke slowly, quietly, as though lacking confidence in what he was saying.

"If they were the last words she ever heard, I'm sure that made her happy."

"She smiled," Draco said, and for a brief moment he smiled too. He sounded so lost. So childlike.

Daphne saw a side to him - an innocence - that she'd never seen before and she felt for him. Although she was devastated by the loss of her younger sibling, she had a life without Astoria, where as Draco - he'd practically dedicated the last fifteen years of his life to Astoria. She _was_ his life. Daphne was confident that, in time, she would learn to accept her sister's passing; she'd known it was coming after all. Draco, on the other hand - Daphne wasn't sure how he was ever going to come to terms with the losing Astoria.

"I - Scorpius," Draco said suddenly, his expression blank. "Scorpius, he's with your parents." He looked back down at Astoria. "How am I going to tell him?"

"Perhaps we should get him? Bring him here."

"What? No," Draco said, his head snapping back towards Daphne. "What do you mean? Bring him here to see Astoria? No!"

"Draco," Daphne said calmly. "Scorpius would want to say goodbye."

Draco stood up. "No. I'm not letting him see her like this, I'm not. How could you even suggest... he's not to see her like this."

"Draco, listen," Daphne said, remaining calm. Draco was in a state on emotional shock, she could hardly be angry with him. "Scorpius, he would want to say goodbye, trust me. It's best for him if he can say goodbye to his mum."

"Don't tell me what's best for my son!" Draco spat. " _I_ know what's best for my son."

"Can you not shout at me please," Daphne said forcefully. "I know you've just lost your wife, but I have just lost my sister, too. I could do without you yelling at me, if you wouldn't mind."

Draco took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself down. "I'm sorry," he said, though with little conviction.

"Look, if you don't want him to see Astoria like this, I get that. But you should at least give _him_ a choice in the matter."

"It's my job to protect him." Draco's voice was fierce with emotion, despite feeling numb inside. Even he wasn't sure where it'd come from.

"He's mature for his age, Draco. You should let him have a say. If he... well, if he doesn't get to say goodbye... just don't be the person that stops him from being able to is all I'm saying."

Draco frowned, mulling Daphne's words over in his head as best he could; it was rather difficult to concentrate on anything right now.

"I can be with you, when you tell him. If you like..." she offered, though she was sure he'd decline.

"Thanks, but it's something I have to do on my own." Although words were coming out of his mouth, Draco barely even knew what he was saying. His mind was clouded, his eyes kept wandering back to where his wife's body lay.

August 27th 2019. The date would be forever etched into Draco's memory as the day his entire world collapsed around him. Astoria was gone, and even with his son to keep him going, Draco truly had no idea how he was going to do it.

* * *

 **Author's notes:** _Ok, I cried. This was so difficult to write, no matter how easy I find getting inside Draco's head. This was the chapter I never wanted to write but always knew I was going to have to. I know a lot of you hate Cursed Child for this. I do, too. But, as I've said, that's why I felt compelled to write this in the first place. I really hope I've done such an important chapter justice. As always, I welcome any reviews. (Some of those I've had so far have been amazing, including one saying they see_ _my story as canon, so thank you! That's such a lovely thing to say.)_


	23. Chapter 23

By the time Daphne left the hospital, it was the early hours of the morning. Draco asked her not to wake Scorpius - he knew his son would panic and become hysterical the minute Daphne woke him. Instead, he'd asked that she bring him straight to the Manor first thing in the morning so he could break the news to him gently then.

"I - pass your parents my condolences," Draco said stiffly. It seemed alien to him that other people were and would be grieving for Astoria too. He was certain that no one could feel the way he was feeling right now, so lost and so empty.

"I'll see you in the morning," Daphne said quietly, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I know it'll be hard but... try to get some sleep." Her mouth twisted into a small, sympathetic smile as she regarded Draco's swollen eyes. "Goodnight, Draco."

"Goodnight."

Alone with Astoria once again, Draco stayed for almost another hour holding her hand until, finally, he managed to convince himself that it was time to leave. He bent down and kissed her forehead, before turning and leaving the room.

Disregarding Daphne's advice completely, Draco made no attempt to sleep when he returned to the Manor. Instead, he immediately poured himself a large fire whiskey, slumped into the chair nearest the fireplace and stared into his glass for a minute or two.

Astoria. Fire whiskey was the drink she'd bought him on the night they'd met.

He scowled and downed the drink in one swift movement. He wanted to forget. That night was one of his fondest memories and right now, all he wanted to do was forget.

As more memories appeared, as though flashing before his eyes, Draco struggled under the weight of his emotions. He headed back over to the drinks cabinet and took a long swig straight out of the bottle before collapsing back into the chair, holding the bottle loosely by its neck. After several more swigs he stood back up, yelled, and launched the bottle at the wall, where it smashed into a thousand pieces, the remaining fire whiskey soaking into the carpet.

Draco wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and sat back down once again. He tugged at whatever was resting on the back of the chair. A blanket. Astoria's blanket. It felt soft against his fingers. He held it to his face and breathed in her scent, eyes shut tightly, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

He'd had no intentions of sleeping but the next thing he knew, Draco opened his eyes to find the room flooded with sunlight. The sound of birds singing outside reached his ears. Life went on and he resented that more than anything. His wife was dead. His Astoria. There shouldn't be sunlight. The birds shouldn't be singing. He grabbed his wand from his inside pocket and flicked it towards the windows, the curtains closing instantly.

He stood and looked at the mess he'd made the night before. He remembered smashing the bottle. He cleared it up with a flick of his wand and checked his watch. It was seven thirty in the morning and he knew Daphne could be arriving with Scorpius at any moment.

Upstairs in the bathroom, Draco stared at himself in the mirror. When he'd done that during his sixth year at Hogwarts, he'd seen a fraction of the person he thought he was staring back. Right now, that fraction wasn't even visible anymore. All he wanted to do was retreat to his bedroom, climb under the covers and never come out again, but he had to pull himself together for Scorpius' sake.

He splashed cold water onto his face and neatened his hair. After changing into a clean set of robes, he made his way back downstairs just in time for his son's (and sister-in-law's) arrival.

"Dad?" Scorpius said inquisitively as he regarded his father. His grandparents had acted oddly over breakfast. He knew something was wrong.

"Are you ok?" Daphne asked.

Draco nodded, before turning to his son. "Scorpius, can you sit down please."

Instantly, Scorpius knew what he was about to be told. But he pretended he didn't. Not for his father's sake, but for his own. If he forced it out of his head it was as though it wasn't happening, at least for those few moments before Draco spoke the words. He sat down on the sofa obediently, his heart pounding against his ribcage.

"See you later, kid," Daphne said. She nodded sympathetically to Draco, silently wishing him good luck, and promptly made herself scarce.

"Scorpius," Draco said once more, seating himself in the armchair opposite his son. There was a long silence as Draco searched for the right words. He swallowed hard. "It's mum. I - mum is gone. Last night, she... she couldn't fight anymore, Scorpius. I'm sorry. Your mum has left us and she's not coming back." He knew his words sounded ridiculous but he didn't know what else to say. 'Your mum is dead' would surely have sounded too harsh.

Instantly, tears started streaming down Scorpius' cheeks. Although part of him felt relived that his mum wouldn't be in pain any longer, the pain he felt from losing her was unbearable. His breathing became laboured as his tears flowed thick and fast.

Draco stood and walked slowly over to Scorpius. For a moment, Scorpius thought his dad was going to hug him - he couldn't remember the last time his father had hugged him - but he didn't. Instead, he produced a tissue from his pocket and offered it to him. Scorpius took it and hid his face behind it, sobbing into it loudly. Draco stood over him, unsure of what to say. What do you say to a child that has just lost their mother? He'd had a long time to think about it and still didn't know. After a short while, Draco perched himself awkwardly on the edge of the sofa beside Scorpius and waited patiently for him to stop crying.

"She didn't feel anything," Draco said quietly, hoping this would bring Scorpius more comfort than it had brought him. "She was sleeping. And before she... she said she loves you very much."

Scorpius digested his father's words slowly and blinked hard. "I wasn't there. I didn't get to tell her I love her."

Scorpius' words brought Draco a stab of guilt. He'd told Scorpius not to come to the hospital yesterday. He'd taken away the last chance Scorpius ever had of seeing his mum alive.

"I told her for you," was all he could say. Pathetic.

"I wanted to come. Yesterday. You wouldn't let me." Although Scorpius' tone wasn't accusatory, his words hit Draco hard. This was, undoubtedly, the first of many struggles to come.

"Yes, you're right. And I'm truly sorry for that," he said sincerely. "I was concerned about you spending your whole holiday at the hospital. It's not - it wasn't easy. For anyone. Your mum was doing a lot better. You saw her two days ago and she was ok. If I'd had any idea... if I'd known..."

"It's ok," Scorpius said quietly. "It's not your fault."

Draco looked towards Scorpius, surprised by how easily he'd let go of the fact that he'd been the reason he hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to Astoria.

Scorpius dabbed at his eyes before loudly blowing his nose into the tissue. He took several shaky breaths, as Draco had done less than twelve hours earlier, attempting to gain composure.

"Are you ok?" Draco asked. What a stupid question. He regretted it instantly.

"I will be," Scorpius said bravely, making eye contact with his dad.

Astoria. Scorpius had her eyes. Draco broke eye contact immediately. Every single thing that reminded him of her hurt right now, from a drink and a blanket, right down to his own son.

"What happens now, dad?" Scorpius asked nervously.

Good question, thought Draco.

"Umm," he said in an attempt to buy a few seconds. "Well... I suppose it won't be long until I have to make arrangements for the funeral. They don't need to determine cause of de-"

"I don't mean that," Scorpius cut Draco off, his eyes focused firmly on the floor. "I mean for us. What happens? How do we... do it? Do _this_... without mum?"

Draco thought for a moment. "I'm afraid I can't answer that, son. I don't have the answers you're looking for. I don't know _how_ we do this... together, I suppose."

Scorpius didn't reply. Draco suddenly became aware that his words hadn't been the most comforting. When Scorpius was a child, Draco had found emotional situations a lot easier to handle - it was effortless to just pick him up and give him a cuddle or let him spend the night in his and Astoria's bed. As Scorpius had grown older, the emotional connection between them had weakened. Draco found it almost impossible to be affectionate towards his son, not least because of his own upbringing. His love for Scorpius never faltered, not once. He just found bonding a lot harder once Scorpius became his own person, particularly as his personality was so far from his own.

Draco knew that if there was ever a time he had to step up to the mark, it was now. Astoria's words echoed around his head: You need to be more open with him... Don't be afraid to show Scorpius the side of you that only I get to see... Maybe he'd just like a hug from his dad every once in a while... He knows you love him but you still need to show him.

He reached out an arm and hesitated for a moment before resting a hand on Scorpius' shoulder comfortingly.

"We will get through this, Scorpius," Draco said suddenly, more confidently. "We'll be strong and we'll get through this because it's what your mum wanted. And we need to - I need to - try harder to... well, just know you can talk to me, ok?"

Scorpius looked around at his dad's hand on his shoulder and gave a watery smile. Although Scorpius knew he'd never feel comfortable talking to his dad in the same way he'd talked to his mum, he did appreciate Draco's efforts.

"Ok," he said.

Eventually, Draco came to reconsider what Daphne had said to him in the early hours of the morning. He took himself by surprise with his next words.

"Would it help if I took you to say goodbye to her?" He finally looked back round at Scorpius who frowned deeply.

"Goodbye to her?" he repeated. "Go and see her?"

Draco nodded, not taking his eyes off his only son.

Scorpius blinked hard several times as tears welled in his eyes. "What's she like now?"

Draco winced, his lips pursed. He sighed and shifted back on the sofa, turning himself to face Scorpius. "She - Scorpius? Scorpius, look at me." He spoke quietly but firmly. Scorpius looked up at his dad reluctantly. "She looks peaceful. Just like she's sleeping. She looks like mum. I don't want to make this decision for you, because you are old enough to decide for yourself. But it's not easy, ok? It's upsetting and it's scary." He wasn't trying to sway Scorpius' decision - he just wanted to be honest. "But if you want to go and say goodbye to mum, we can go together and if it's too much, we can come straight back."

"I - don't think I want to go," Scorpius said slowly. It wasn't that he didn't want to say goodbye. He just couldn't bear the thought of his mum laying there unable to give him a hug. He'd rather the other day remain the final time he saw her - she talked to him a little. She smiled. She wasn't still and cold. He'd rather hold onto that. "No," he said, more certain of himself. "I don't want to see her like that, dad." He sniffed and closed his eyes tight as he started crying once more.

"Hey, it's ok," Draco said understandingly. In all honesty, he was relieved. "It's ok. She'd understand. You'd rather keep the happy memories in here, right?" Draco tapped his head.

Scorpius nodded.

"I completely understand," Draco said sincerely.

* * *

On September 1st, Scorpius caught the Hogwarts Express as if everything were completely normal. The only difference was, it didn't feel normal. He felt empty inside. Never again would he return home and be able to tell his mum everything that had been going on at school. Good or bad.

In just three days his father would collect him from school for his mum's funeral, but had insisted on him returning on the first day back, nonetheless.

"He needs normality more than ever right now," Scorpius had heard Draco telling his aunty Daphne.

Scorpius' two days of classes passed in a blur. The usual taunts from his fellow classmates bounced off of him like rebounding spells; he was so lost in grief that he barely even registered them.

On 4th September, Scorpius and Albus got up early to prepare themselves for the funeral. Scorpius had barely slept a wink and there were dark shadows under his eyes. They dressed in silence, both unsure of what to say to one another.

"Are you... sure your dad isn't going to mind me being there?" Albus asked quietly.

"He'll be fine," Scorpius said, although he wasn't a hundred per cent certain. "My mum was everything to him... I'm at least very certain that there's little that could trouble him now she's gone."

"Is he scary?" Albus couldn't deny the fact that he was somewhat apprehensive about meeting the infamous Draco Malfoy, even if he was his best friend's dad.

Scorpius chuckled at Albus' question. "He likes to think he is," Scorpius said. Albus laughed. "But he's not, not really... I mean he can be when he's angry, don't get me wrong. But he's not really angry any more. He's just sad."

Albus nodded in understanding. "I'll just stick with you and do whatever he says."

"To be honest, I doubt he'll even notice you're there," Scorpius said truthfully.

"Well, that's ok," Albus said. "As long as _you_ know, Scorpius, that I'm there for you."

Scorpius smiled to his friend gratefully. "I do know that," he confirmed quietly.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Scorpius and Albus were collected from Professor McGonagall's office by a tired looking Draco. Scorpius had been right - his father had barely batted an eyelid over the fact that his friend would be joining them. He'd simply questioned McGonagall as to whether Albus' parents had said it was ok and then nodded his head indifferently to indicate that he didn't mind Albus being there. There were far more important things on his mind.

He'd spent days planning every last detail of Astoria's funeral the way he thought she would have wanted it; strangely, it wasn't something they'd discussed, even though Astoria's fate had been so certain. From flowers, to music, to the coffin, Draco made sure that she had the finest money could buy - not that it would bring her back. He'd give all the gold in his vault just to have one more day with her.

When Draco and the two boys arrived at the service, he found his in-laws waiting for them. Everyone else had already been seated. Albus lingered behind awkwardly as who he assumed were Astoria's parents and sister hugged his friend, whose face had already become tearstained. There wasn't so much warmth between Draco and his in-laws, Albus noticed.

As Astoria's parents fussed over Scorpius, comforting him and making sure he had a handkerchief, Daphne talked quietly with Draco.

"What you've done, Draco... it's beautiful."

Draco avoided eye contact, staring down at the gravelled floor.

"Is that the youngest Potter boy?" Daphne asked suddenly, squinting over Draco's shoulder at Albus.

"Oh, yes," Draco said as though he'd completely forgotten the boy were there. "Albus, come here... he's here for Scorpius."

Albus came closer, still feeling a little nervous. "This is Daphne, Scorpius' aunt." Draco's introductions were halfhearted, his voice completely void of emotion. Certainly, day-to-tday niceties had become even more of a struggle for him than they had been before he lost Astoria.

"Hello," Albus said quietly. "I'm sorry for your loss. Scorpius' mum sounded like a wonderful lady. I wish I could have met her."

Daphne raised her eyebrows in mild surprise. "Thank you. She was... and she spoke of you several times. I'm sure she would have liked the chance to meet Scorpius' best friend."

Relieved that Daphne was better at this than he was, Draco zoned out, glancing around at the horse-drawn carriage which, minutes earlier, had been holding Astoria's ebony coffin in the back. The beautiful flowers he had chosen remained. After a few moments he turned away again and dipped a hand into his pocket, retrieving a folder piece of paper. He turned back and held it out to Daphne.

"Will you read this for me?" he asked.

Daphne frowned and opened up the piece of paper, her eyes darting over the words before meeting his. She could see that he'd poured his heart and soul into these words. "Draco... you should read this."

"I ca- I can't," Draco said, choking up. "Daphne, _please_."

"Ok... ok," Daphne nodded. "If you're sure."

Yet another significant moment in their relationship passed without the blink of an eye - it was as though the scales had balanced; unconsciously, they now saw each other as equals, brought closer together by their sense of grief over losing Astoria.

"Shall we?" Vaughn finally gestured, looking towards the open door.

Draco and Daphne looked towards him and together the six of them made their way towards the entrance. The music Draco had spent hours painstakingly selecting started to play and Vivian and Vaughn went in first. Vivian was wearing a black hat, her long hair obscuring half of her face. She rummaged in her bag for a hanky and dabbed at her eyes as they walked, Vaughn holding her other hand tightly in his own. Daphne followed close behind, with Draco encouraging Scorpius and Albus to follow her.

Draco stood and stared through the doorway for a moment, a sickness resting in the pit of his stomach. He didn't want to go in. To go in and see Astoria's coffin would make this all so horribly final. Blinking hard so as not to cry, he took a deep, shuddering breath and made his way into the room, watching his feet for a few moments as he walked.

When Draco finally brought himself to look up towards Astoria's coffin, it was as though someone drove a knife straight through his heart. It was harder, even, than he had ever imagined. He inhaled with difficulty, struggling for air, an audible gasp escaping his lips. Halfway down the aisle his legs gave up on him, and he fell to his knees ungraciously. It was all just too much.

Scorpius turned. "Dad!" he cried, rushing back to see if his father was ok. A couple of people in the congregation stood, concerned.

Vaughn and Daphne went back to Draco, Vaughn helping him get back to his feet. "Come on, son. I've got you." Draco was so overcome by grief that he didn't even notice that his father-in-law had just referred to him as 'son' for the very first time. He just clung to him as he helped him back up. He'd never felt pain like it.

"I'm ok," Draco muttered. "I'm ok."

Daphne suddenly took hold of Draco's hand, linking her fingers with his. "Together," she said quietly. "Like Astoria would have wanted."

Draco looked down in mild confusion as Daphne's hand fitted where Astoria's once did, but didn't object. He needed all the support he could get. He reached his other arm out and placed it protectively around Scorpius' shoulder.

"I'm sorry, son," he murmured, though he remained looking ahead.

"It's ok, dad," Scorpius whispered, looking up at Draco and noticing the grief written all over his face, despite suffering his own. "It's hurting you. It's hurting me, too. Don't apologise."

Draco could do nothing but nod his head and, finally, they filed into their seats in the front row, Draco seated between Daphne and Scorpius, Vivian and Vaughn sat beside their grandson. Albus, who had already sat himself down in the second row, squeezed Scorpius' shoulder supportively. Scorpius nodded to him gratefully and with that, the service began.

After a welcome from the service leader and a song, Daphne got up to speak about her sister, before moving on to what Draco had written. He had strangely neat handwriting, which was for the best given the circumstances.

"As many of you know, Astoria's husband and son meant the world to her. The absolute world. Draco has passed some thoughts onto me this morning that he would like me to share with you."

Draco nodded his thanks at Daphne before looking down at his hands, his palms sweating. Scorpius, tissue in hand, looked straight ahead, interested to hear what his father had written yet had found himself unable to read aloud.

"Astoria. My beautiful wife. My world. It's been fifteen years since you walked into my life. Fifteen years, six months and seventeen days. It hasn't been hard to keep count since you were one of only two things that made life worth living."

Daphne's voice faltered. She had to pause so as not to burst into tears. She'd never thought Draco capable of writing something so moving, even if it was about Astoria. His words were even more heartbreaking than she'd realised when she'd glanced over them not long ago. She took a steady breath before carrying on.

"The 18th of February, 2004. I've spent hours sitting and asking myself what I ever did to deserve that day - to deserve you. Right now, I'm sat thinking of ways I can put into words just how much you meant to me and I've reached the conclusion that it's just not possible. Your smile, your laughter, your sense of fun were all so different from my own. They used to seem unusual to me until they came to be my everyday life. You'd think that after so many years I would have come to take them for granted but I never did, not for a single moment. Every morning, I would wake up and not have a single doubt that I was simply the luckiest man."

Draco turned to hide his face from Scorpius as his tears slid silently down his cheeks. Scorpius, still watching and listening carefully, was wiping away tears of his own. It felt strange to hear his aunty Daphne speak his father's thoughts. It felt intrusive, like she'd stolen a page from his diary - but Scorpius yearned to hear more. He loved to hear of the love between his parents.

"Now you're gone, the weight that bears down upon me is limitless and the hole you've left is so vast, I'm not even sure what's left of me. You made a man of me, and now I'm half the man I was without you by my side. I can't thank you enough for all you did for me. You gave me strength and wealth in ways I didn't know existed before I met you. And you gave me our boy. He's a real asset to you and together, we'll make sure your memory lives on."

Shaking from his tears, Scorpius leaned in towards Draco, who wrapped his arm around Scorpius instinctively and the two of them cried together. Albus sat quietly in the row behind, fighting back tears of his own despite having never known Astoria. The pain Scorpius and his dad were feeling was clear for all to see, and he felt for them, he truly did.

"I've never believed in heaven, but if there is such a thing, that's surely where you'll be. And I'll hold on to the hope that you're looking down on me now because it's one of the only things keeping me going. My Astoria. You will stay in my heart forever. I love you completely. More than any words could ever say and more than anyone could ever understand. I miss you, and I'll be missing you every day until we meet again."

* * *

 **Author's notes:** _This took a while. I really wanted to get this right. It's such an emotional scene to set and incredibly difficult to find the right words. I really wanted to have Draco put his feelings into words even though I know it's slightly out of character, which is why I made the decision to have Daphne read them for him. Once again, I hope you enjoy it, even if it is a bit of a heartbreaker... I need to go and get a tissue now! Do your best, my loyal reviewers! :)_


	24. Chapter 24

The rest of the day passed in a blur for both Draco and Scorpius. Although Draco had made sure any guests were well catered for, he didn't eat a single bite and Scorpius didn't manage much more. Draco didn't spend long at the wake; he left without a fuss, taking Scorpius and Albus back to the Manor with him. There, he sat and listened from the corner of the room as Scorpius and Albus made small talk. Weirdly, it brought him comfort. He was glad that Scorpius had a good friend to see him through - heaven knows, he'd needed one on many occasions and found himself severely lacking.

Draco brought the two boys drinks and disappeared upstairs for a while. He needed some time alone to come to terms with the day's events, and he knew Scorpius was happy enough left with Albus. Once darkness drew outside, he made his way back down and suggested that it was time he took them back to school.

Scorpius shot an apologetic glance at his friend before looking back to his father.

"Dad, do you mind if I stay the night here? Just for tonight. I - I don't think I can face going back."

Draco frowned, crossed the room and sat down, holding his chin thoughtfully. "What's brought this on? I mean, is it just the upset from today... or is it something else?"

Scorpius didn't really feel like explaining himself. "It's nothing else. I'm just - very sad. I'd like to sleep here."

Draco narrowed his eyes for a moment, not quite believing his son. He felt there was something more to it, but decided not to press him. "It's fine if you want to stay here, Scorpius, but I'll have to take Albus back to school."

"No problem, Mr Malfoy. Whenever you're ready," Albus said.

"No time like the present," Draco said, rising from his chair. "You can... call me Draco," he added awkwardly, reluctantly. He really didn't know what to make of the Potter boy.

Albus gave Scorpius a brief hug, Scorpius patting his back halfheartedly and with that, Albus and Draco were gone, leaving Scorpius alone with his thoughts for several minutes, which was several minutes too many. He just wanted the pain to go away. He wondered how long it would take. Weeks? Months? Years?

Scorpius headed to bed pretty soon after Draco arrived back home, changing into his pyjamas and clambering under the covers. He thought back to the days when his mum used to tuck him in at night and he yearned for them.

He lay in darkness, staring up at the ceiling for almost half an hour before there was a quiet knock on the door. Draco opened it a fraction.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes."

Barefoot and dressed in his nightclothes, Draco crossed the room. Scorpius could just about make him out. He rarely saw his father out of robes. It was unusual to see him in such a way; somehow, it made him seem more vulnerable.

Draco sat himself on the edge of Scorpius' bed and sighed. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm dealing with it," Scorpius said.

"You don't have to deal with it on your own," Draco said. "I'm sorry you had to see me cry today. It's not what I wanted."

"I wish you'd stop apologising," Scorpius snapped. "It's normal to cry when someone dies. You loved mum. I don't know why you would try to not cry. It makes no sense." He'd spoken his mind before he had time to stop himself. His dad was so emotionally different to him, and his incapability of understanding it sometimes felt overwhelming. Sometimes, he just wished his dad expressed his emotions like a normal human being without trying to explain them or hide them or force them to be something they weren't.

Draco sat in stunned silence for a moment, his mouth hanging open slightly. He didn't know what to say. The silence made Scorpius feel guilty.

"I liked hearing what you wrote about mum," he said, his voice much softer. Less angry. "Why didn't you want to read it out yourself?"

Draco hesitated. "It's not that I didn't want to. I just knew I wouldn't be able to. Knowing your own limits is important. That was certainly beyond mine."

"It was very personal. I was surprised."

"Well... we've spent so many years behind closed doors... people speculating about us. I just wanted people to know how much your mum meant to me. How much she _means_ to me."

"She would have been proud of you, dad. I'm sure of it."

Draco smiled sadly. "I hope so. Not half as proud as she was of you though, eh?"

When Scorpius didn't reply, Draco knew it was time to leave; their comfort when it came to discussing emotions with each other had been tested enough for one day. He stood up and made to leave, turning as he reached the door.

"Goodnight, Scorpius."

"Goodnight, dad."

* * *

After taking Scorpius back to school the following day, Draco went weeks without seeing anyone. He'd wake up, wash and get dressed before whiling hours away in his study. It would often grow dark outside before he'd realise he hadn't eaten. This cycle wasn't broken until late October when Daphne turned up at the Manor unannounced. Draco wasn't particularly pleased to see her.

"Draco. We've been owling, asking if you want to come for dinner... or to stay with us," she said breezily as he stepped aside to let her in. Her annoyance was mixed with concern.

"Why?" Draco asked simply, closing the door.

Daphne looked around at him and rolled her eyes. "Are you going to offer me a drink or not?"

"Doesn't look like I have a say in the matter," Draco mumbled, disappearing and reappearing several minutes later to find that Daphne had made herself comfortable in the lounge. He place the tea down in front of her, cupping his own in his hand as a sat down.

"So, have you deliberately been ignoring our owls or have you just not been reading any post?"

"Bit of both," Draco admitted, sipping his tea and then bringing the mug down to rest on his knee.

"How've you been?" Her eyes lingered on his face, which had been left unshaved for many a day.

"I'm getting by. Nothing more, nothing less."

"We're worried about you. Please, just come to mum and dad's, even if it's just for dinner."

"Astoria's gone. And now you and your parents decide to start treating me like I'm one of the family? Spare me the false concern."

"Draco," Daphne held his eye, but she knew deep down he was right. "You _are_ one of the family and, incase you've not realised, we're all you and Scorp have left."

"No, Daphne. Scorpius has me, and he has you. I have him and him alone. It's a bit too late to start pretending you give a damn, don't you think?"

Daphne sighed. She'd had a feeling Draco would be difficult. "Look, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye but there have been plenty of times that I have stood up for you. I have a lot of respect for you and you know that. I know things were more difficult between you and mum and dad but... they're offering an olive branch. They want to build bridges and they don't like thinking of you spending all your time up in this huge house on your own."

"You might respect me but your parents do not. Right up until the very end they did nothing but cause me trouble. Even when it was taking a toll on your sister's health, they took any given opportunity to criticise and pass judgement."

"They did respect you for everything you did for Astoria and they respect you as a father. They're just stubborn and they don't like to show it too often." Draco stayed silent. "At Astoria's funeral, when you collapsed, do you remember what my father said to you?" Still nothing. "He said 'come on, son'. I know my dad and I know he would't say that lightly... We know how much you're hurting, Draco. Just let us help."

Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You have absolutely no idea how much this hurts," he said quietly through clenched teeth. He opened his eyes and leaned forward, placing his mug down on the table which lay between him and Daphne. "No idea," he repeated, before standing up and leaving Daphne sitting alone in the lounge.

* * *

As the following weeks turned into months, Draco's pain never seemed to become any more bearable. Much to his surprise, he received several letters and cards from people expressing their condolences including one from Pansy Parkinson, whom he hadn't spoken to for twenty years.

Everyone who wrote claimed to know how he was feeling, what he was going through. They didn't. They had no idea. How could they?

Draco didn't feel any sort of gratitude or warmth towards those who wrote to him. Instead, he just stared blankly at their written words and resented them all because there was no way they could have any idea what this felt like, no matter how much they insisted that they did.

Though surprised that anyone had even bothered to write, it wasn't until late November that the most surprising of them all arrived. He didn't recognise the handwriting and opened the envelope with just the slightest intrigue.

 _Draco,_

 _I know it's been a few months now, but I wanted to express my deepest condolences for the loss of your wife, Astoria. All of our thoughts were with you when we heard the news and still are. Albus told us Scorpius spoke of Astoria a lot._

 _If there's anything we can do - myself or Harry - you only have to ask. Perhaps, with Albus and Scorpius being so close, Scorpius would like to spend some of the Christmas break here with us? That is of course, if you are happy for him to do so. Do let us know._

 _All my best wishes,_

 _Ginny_

Draco reread the letter several times, unsure of what to make of it. He sat at the table considering Ginny's words for a long while and, the longer he sat there, the more angry he felt. Why was Potter's wife speaking Astoria's name? They'd never even met. And what did she mean by 'if there's anything we can do' - what could they possibly do? What could _anyone_ do? And as for offering to take Scorpius for the holidays when they _knew_ he was the only thing Draco had left...

Unable to control his rage, Draco stormed upstairs to his office and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. Jabbing it angrily into the ink he scratched out a single sentence:

 _Tell your husband to refute these allegations about my son once and for all._

Draco exhaled deeply several times, throwing the quill back down onto the desk and folding the parchment ready for sending. It was the only thing he'd ever asked Potter to do and he stood by and did nothing. If they so desperately wanted to help, this was the only way they could do so.

* * *

Christmas was difficult that year. Although Draco and Scorpius had each other, the hole Astoria had left in their family was far too great and their loss was still far too painful. Much to Draco's disappointment, Scorpius had gingerly asked whether he could spend some of the holiday with the Potters. Draco would have been hurt whoever it was, but the fact that it was the Potters just made it twice as difficult to bear.

They'd argued about it. Draco made several excuses as to why he wouldn't allow Scorpius to visit the Potters, even for a day, keeping the real reason to himself. He simply couldn't bear the thought of being alone, without his wife _and_ his child. Yes, his decision had been entirely selfish and he regretted nothing, even if Potter had put out a statement claiming that all time turners had been destroyed many years ago in an attempt to stop the rumours about Scorpius' parentage.

As for the time turner hidden up in his office, Draco had spent many an hour sitting and struggling to resist the urge to use it since Astoria had gone. The only thing stopping him was the mere fact that if anyone found out, the rumours would escalate - and so would his son's torment.

Most nights, Draco would have a drink (or several) before bed, even with Scorpius around. Sometimes Scorpius would stand and watch his father through a crack in the door - watch him come undone. He never saw Draco cry - only sit and stare into the bottom of his glass. It actually came as a relief to Scorpius when it was time to go back to school.

* * *

Come the following September, Draco faced the biggest issue he'd had with Scorpius to date - at least, since Astoria's passing. Scorpius trying to run away from school was most out of character and Draco struggled (and failed) to get to the bottom of it. He negotiated with Professor McGonagall to have Scorpius at home during the first weekend of term, stating that he needed time to talk to his son and get to the bottom of why he ran away.

He sat Scorpius down and had a long talk with him: is it the bullying? Is it because you're missing mum? No matter how hard Draco tried, Scorpius wouldn't talk about it and that wasn't the only time. In fact, Draco had stepped out of his comfort zone several times over the summer to try and encourage Scorpius to talk about his feelings or simply to talk about Astoria, but Scorpius wasn't having any of it. As much as he tried, Draco just couldn't reach Scorpius in the way Astoria had been able to.

Scorpius almost seemed unhappier than he had been the previous September, back when he wasn't accustomed to the grief he was feeling after losing his mother. Draco just couldn't understand it.

Late on the Sunday evening, just before he was due to take Scorpius back to Hogwarts, Draco walked past Scorpius' bedroom door and heard muffled noises coming from inside. He knocked quietly and pushed open the door to find Scorpius on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest and crying.

"Scorpius?"

Scorpius sniffed and hid his face from Draco. Like father, like son.

"Scorpius, you've been upset all weekend and you haven't told me why. Now you're crying. Why are you crying?"

Silence. Draco closed the door behind himself and joined Scorpius on the bed.

"Son, please," he said quietly. "If you don't tell me, I can't help you."

Scorpius wiped his eyes with his sleeve and made eye contact with his father for a brief moment before looking away and taking a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"It's Albus. He - he won't hang out with me anymore," he said quietly.

"What? Why? I thought the two of you were good friends?"

"We are. Well... we were."

"What's changed?"

"Something happened and... and his dad won't - he won't allow him to be around me anymore. I - I don't really know why. I just... well I saw the two of them together and suddenly Albus wouldn't talk to me anymore. He's not even in _classes_ with me." Scorpius spoke quickly, his hands moving animatedly.

"Potter," Draco said through gritted teeth. "For crying out loud." His voice softened. "Scorpius, please. Stop crying. Let's see if my having a little word with Albus' dad won't put a stop to this nonsense."

Scorpius groaned. "Dad, just leave it. It's probably because of the... rumours."

"And rumours, Scorpius, are just that. _Rumours_. Untrue statements passed around as fact. _Lies_. I'm not having him upset you like this, especially after everything you've been through. No. I'm taking you back to school and I'm going around there. Immediately."

"Round where?" Scorpius sounded apprehensive.

"The Potter residence. He once turned up here uninvited. It's high time I returned the favour."

* * *

After dropping Scorpius back at school, Draco turned up at the Potters' unannounced. As angry as he was, he had decided to approach the subject without expressing his anger - that was until Harry dared question Scorpius' parentage. That was simply the last straw for Draco, who had only gone there with his grieving son's best interests at heart. The duel that followed, although pretty harmless, felt like it had been a long time coming.

The conversation that came after, however, was the most civilised and mature Draco and Harry had ever managed to be in one another's company. Opening up to Harry and Ginny about how he'd felt as a young boy wasn't how Draco had pictured spending this Sunday evening but it happened, for more than one reason; for Scorpius' sake, but also for Albus'. Draco couldn't help but feel that he understood some of what Albus was going through and if he could knock any sort of sense into his father then that could hardly be a bad thing.

Some of the things Draco told Harry and Ginny that night, he'd never even told Astoria. However, he really pushed himself out of his comfort zone for the sake of his son that evening, and he knew that that was all down to the influence Astoria had had over him. He, Harry and Ginny visiting the school together had been somewhat of an achievement as far as Draco was concerned, and he finally felt as though he and Harry could be on the road to putting their past behind them for the sake of their sons. They had to come first.

However, the feeling of success was short lived, replaced by pure panic at the knowledge of Scorpius going missing from school for a second time and from right under his nose, as well.

When Draco found out what Scorpius and Albus had been up to with the time turner he'd hardly been surprised. Scorpius always dreamt of getting up to mischief at school and this was exactly that, to the nth degree. It was also dangerous, so for what felt like the hundredth time over the last couple of weeks, Draco found himself having a serious talk with his son. Whether or not Scorpius was taking on board anything was saying was another story.

Just the next day, it became clear that Scorpius hadn't been taking a blind bit of notice when he went missing for a third time. At the end of his tether, Draco was seriously considering withdrawing Scorpius from school and having him homeschooled, where he could keep a close eye on him himself. The staff at Hogwarts were clearly incapable of doing so, and Draco simply wasn't prepared to risk losing his son for good.

More than twenty-four hours after Scorpius had disappeared from his dorm, Draco sat up in his office turning his own time turner over repeatedly in his hands. Resisting using it had been so difficult, but keeping it's existence to himself had not been. In fact, it had been crucial. That was until now. He glanced over his shoulder towards the window. It had grown dark outside. Would Harry still be in his office at this time? Had he even gone to work at all today? There was only one way to find out.

* * *

Talking to Harry - opening himself up even more - hadn't been something Draco had been planning to do when he turned up at the Ministry, but it had been something that had felt necessary once the conversation began. He never talked to anyone about Astoria except Scorpius so, yes, it had been strange talking to someone he'd hated for so long about someone he loved so much, but he knew he had to tell Harry the truth in order to gain his trust and allow them to work together. Finding Scorpius and Albus was the only thing that mattered, after all.

When they'd found the boys several days later, the happiness Draco felt at seeing Scorpius almost equalled that of seeing him for the first time on the day he was born. When they'd hugged, Draco felt as though something had altered between them - he held Scorpius tightly and Scorpius held him back, visibly elated to have been shown such affection. It was as though they'd just overcome a hurdle that had been standing in their way for many years; a hurdle Draco was going to try hard to keep at bay from now on.

The events that followed were monumental - Draco working together with several people whom he'd always shared difficult relationships with for the sake of the greater good, and putting his own neck on the line. He knew that Astoria would be proud of him; he had to admit, he was quite proud of himself.

* * *

With the boys returned safely to Hogwarts for what was hopefully the last time, Draco, Harry and the others made to leave, each relived that the ordeal was over. Before they went their separate ways, Draco was surprised to find Harry approaching him.

"Can I have a word?" he asked quietly, taking Draco away from the others.

Draco frowned, wondering what this was all about.

"Look, I just wanted to say... I truly am sorry for what you and Scorpius have been through," Harry said sincerely. "And if you... ever need to talk... I mean, I know I love the sound of my own voice, but I _can_ be quite a good listener from time to time... if I put my mind to it." His tone was lighthearted, as though his offer was no big deal. Entirely intentional, of course.

Draco's eyes searched Harry's, wondering if this was some kind of joke. "A heart to heart... you and me..?" he said, one eyebrow raised.

Harry shrugged. "More surprising things have happened. And it wouldn't be the first time after all..." He clapped Draco on the shoulder before strolling slowly away. "Let me know..." he called, waving a hand in the air idly, not looking back.

Draco thought for a moment, shifting his weight from one foot to the other several times. He hated being put on the spot, especially regarding matters that were as confusing as this. He and Harry had already been teased for being 'chummy chummy' - was there really a possibility of them becoming friends after everything that had happened between them?

"Come to the Manor," Draco called back suddenly. "I don't... like being around people in public."

Harry turned back and gave a nod of the head. "The Manor it is." And with that, he smiled and disappeared from sight.

* * *

 **Author's notes:** _So, this definitely took me a long time. It was a difficult chapter to write because a) there were a whole load of scenes from the script that needed mentions and b) the script is confusing as hell (even when you've seen the show!), and I so desperately wanted to try and get the timeline correct. This was the result - my best guesstimation! I'm really unsure how much time passes between the times the boys go missing/how long they are missing for each time, so it was tricky! No huge moments here like in the previous chapters, but I promise there are a couple more to come! Thanks as always, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts!_


	25. Chapter 25

One evening a couple of weeks later, Draco found himself sat in the lounge at the Manor awaiting Harry's arrival. He still wasn't entirely sure how he felt about their being on friendly terms, but even he had to admit that he and Harry had grown to have several things in common since their schooldays.

The curtains were drawn, the room dimly lit and the fire roaring in the grate. Draco was sat comfortably in his favourite armchair, a glass clutched in his hand with the remains of a double fire whiskey inside. He was sat contemplating, as he so often did these days, completely immersed in his own thoughts. Scorpius hadn't gone missing since the last time, much to his relief, and his relationship with his son seemed to be on the mend, albeit slowly. Draco was just wondering that perhaps Christmas wouldn't be so bad this year when the chimes sounded in the hallway and he jumped, startled. He placed the glass down on the table before heading to open the door.

"Draco," Harry greeted him rather formally, holding out a bottle of mead as Draco stepped aside to let him in. "It felt rude to turn up empty handed..."

Draco examined the bottle, his mouth upturned, surprised by Harry's decent taste in alcohol. "Thanks," he said. "Not bad at all."

"You almost sound surprised," Harry pointed out as he took off his thick winter cloak. "Bitter wind out there, by the way."

"Is there? I haven't been out for several days now."

"Probably for the best."

The two of them made their way through to the lounge, Harry guided by Draco, although he remembered perfectly well where it was from his last visit many years ago.

"Shall I crack this open, or would you prefer something else?" Draco asked, heading to retrieve two glasses form the cabinet.

"What have you got?" Harry inquired.

"What haven't I got? I'm pretty big on drink since... anyway, come and see for yourself. Take your pick."

"May as well open up that mead, eh?" Harry said, seating himself on the edge of the sofa, palms to thighs, feeling somewhat out of place. He may have plenty of gold, but his and Ginny's abode was nowhere near as grand as the Malfoys'.

Draco nodded in agreement, poured two glasses, and walked slowly over, handing one to Harry before seating himself back down in the armchair. An awkward silence settled between the two men for several moments before Harry raised his glass.

"Cheers."

Draco hesitated before leaning forward and clinking his glass against Harry's. "Cheers," he repeated, before sinking back into the chair.

"So... a Quidditch player, eh?" Harry attempted to initiate a conversation.

Draco shook his head. "In an ideal world, perhaps. Never was as good as you though, was I?" He smirked and took a sip from his glass.

"Well, you certainly had a knack for cheating, that's for sure. Always were the epitome of the perfect Slytherin student, weren't you, Draco?"

Draco laughed shortly. "Oh, I certainly tried my best. For father's sake more than anything... I wonder what he'd have to say about this." Draco spread his arms, indicating that he was referring to the two of them sat drinking in the Manor together.

"He'll be turning in his grave," Harry said, before realising what a horrible thing that was to say. "I'm sorry - that was insensitive," he said hurriedly.

Draco raised a hand. "It's fine. You're right, he would be turning - and somehow, that makes this all the more worthwhile. I became so accustomed to him disapproving that I started to revel in it, to be honest with you."

"I'm guessing he didn't approve of the way you raised Scorpius?" Harry spoke slowly, carefully. He knew how volatile Draco was and had no desire to push him over the edge after everything he'd been through recently.

Draco nodded slowly and took a long sip of his drink. "Of course he didn't. We didn't raise Scorpius the way he wanted. You know, when he disapproved of mine and Astoria's engagement, he cited the likelihood of her being unable to carry children as the reason. One of the reasons... And when we did have a child, that didn't satisfy him either. I learned to stop caring in the end. Astoria made me happy. I wasn't going to let him get in the way of that."

Harry watched Draco carefully, listening. Draco seemed reluctant to make eye contact, but was talking freely. Harry couldn't help but let his eyes wander up to the family portrait hanging above the mantlepiece. Draco noticed and looked up at it, too. He still felt a certain sense of sadness when he looked at that picture, no matter how hard he tried not to - his loss was far too great to have come to terms with in thirteen months.

"Did you know - when you married?" Harry asked gently, looking back towards Draco.

Draco's eyes lingered on the portrait. "Yes. We'd been dating a few months when I found out that she was sick but I didn't know it would... she didn't know either. I was there when she found out. I asked her to marry me shortly after. I couldn't bear the thought of being without her."

Harry looked back up towards the portrait once more. "It was visible, you know? How happy she made you. Just for that hour or so that I was here before... when we heard... I know family means everything to you, Draco. It's one of the things we do have in common. I can't imagine what it was like for you."

Draco sat for a moment, contemplating how to respond, staring into the bottom of his glass. "It was... and still is... so hard. She just... _understood_ me... which was no mean feat, that's for sure. She was the _only_ person who was ever able to understand. Since losing her I feel so sad, and then so angry... bitter... she shaped me, you know? Into the man I became. And I just - I don't feel like that person anymore. But I'm trying really hard to stay that person for her sake. And for Scorpius'."

"Do you know what I think?" Harry asked quietly. Draco's eyes met his. "I think you're better at being a good person than you give yourself credit for."

Draco looked away again and swiftly downed what remained of his drink. Silence fell for a minute or two. "Would you like to see some photos? I have a wedding album upstairs."

Harry, confident that he was getting somewhere, smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that."

Half an hour later, Draco was talking animatedly as he and Harry looked through not one, but several albums of family photographs. It was certainly the most talkative Harry had seen him, perhaps since school. For Draco, it felt almost refreshing to have someone new to share the memories with, even if somewhat unusual that that someone was Harry Potter. Talking about Astoria to someone who hadn't suffered the pain of losing her was relieving, because he could omit the difficult parts and concentrate on the good. Draco found himself smiling as he looked through the albums, just as Astoria had said she wanted him to after she was gone. That was progress, albeit small.

"Another drink?" Draco offered.

"Scorpius, he's a good kid," Harry said as he took a second glass from Draco and relaxed back into the chair.

"You're wondering how he turned out so well," Draco said, sitting back down himself. Seeing Harry struggling for what to say next made him smile. "I'm joking."

Harry looked visibly relieved; the whole concept of he and Draco getting along was still so new, so he was far from able to fathom when Draco was joking and when he wasn't. It was always safer to assume he wasn't.

"He _is_ a good kid," Draco agreed. "I made every effort not to raise him as my father did me. All I ever wanted was for him to be happy, but Merlin knows, it's difficult sometimes." He rubbed at his brow with his fingertips as though frustrated.

"I struggle with Albus, too. A lot. You've seen the evidence - I bet you've never told Scorpius that you wish he wasn't your son." Harry's eyes settled on the floor, still ashamed that he'd ever allowed himself to speak those words.

"I haven't," Draco admitted. "But I have lost it with him on several occasions. He used to know exactly how to press my buttons. He doesn't do that so much these days... now, I just... on an emotional level we - we're just very different. He's very outwardly emotional, quite the opposite of me. He snapped at me after the funeral, you know? I apologised for him having to see me cry. He asked why I would apologise for that... that it was normal and that he didn't understand why I would try to not cry. Certainly put me in my place, that's for sure..."

Harry looked back up to Draco. Every time he opened up about something this personal, Harry was surprised. It was as though the man who sat before him really were a different person to the boy he'd attended school with. There wasn't even a hint of Draco's younger self.

"Albus was really upset after Astoria's funeral. In tears, actually. He said it was hard to see Scorpius so upset and not be able to help in any way."

"Oh, he did help, believe me," Draco said, incredibly sincerely. "I know how much it meant to Scorpius to have him there. Why do you think I ever allowed it in the first place? If I hadn't been so overcome with grief, I might have noticed that one of the most surreal moments of the last couple of years has been introducing your son to Astoria's family as though... I don't know, you were a family friend or something."

Harry couldn't help but laugh. Draco gave a short laugh, himself.

"If only we knew back at school, eh? That we'd be sat here drinking together..."

Draco suddenly remembered what he'd said to Astoria all those years back when Harry had turned up at the Manor uninvited. He chuckled to himself.

"What?" Harry said. "Why are you laughing?"

"Remember that day you turned up to search the place?" Harry nodded in response. "Well, Astoria was bothering me, asking about how we came to hate each other. I told her how I, you know..."

Harry gave a shake of the head, encouraging Draco to go on.

Draco tutted. "For crying out loud, don't make me say it."

"Say what? How you wanted to be best friends from day one?"

Draco's eyebrow twitched involuntarily. "I wouldn't go that far, Potter."

"Oh, back to Potter now, is it?" Harry jested.

Draco smirked. "Anyhow, yes. That. Whatever you want to call it. She was poking fun at me... saying 'oh, didn't he want to be your friend then?' And I said 'obviously not, or we'd be downstairs sipping fire whiskey." Draco shook his head disbelievingly.

"Well, it's mead, but close enough," Harry said, raising his glass before taking a sip.

"She would certainly have a few things to say if she could see the two of us now." Draco smiled fondly, wishing more than anything that she could still be there to poke fun at him. He wouldn't complain.

Harry noticed the change in Draco's facial expression. "She really did change you, didn't she?"

"In a lot of ways," Draco said, nodding thoughtfully. "Not completely. But in the ways that mattered, she certainly did."

A comfortable silence settled for a minute or two as the two of them sat reflecting on all that had been said.

"So, Draco Malfoy's son, a bookworm," Harry said, attempting to break the silence. "Where exactly did he get that from?"

"Me," Draco said, finishing off his second glass.

Harry raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

Draco rolled his eyes. "What you saw of me at school was only a small fraction of who I was - and hopefully not even a fraction of who I am today... a lot of things that were said about me at school - and after school, actually - weren't true. I know I relentlessly took the piss out of you and your friends. I'm still a piss taker - it's in my nature. But there's a lot more to me than that. I read a hell of a lot, and I did even at school - that just wasn't a part of me that you saw. In recent years, I've done a lot of research into alchemy... I make things. I was a full-time carer to Astoria in the months leading up to her death. I am a lot of things, far deeper than a class clown and a bully. You have a lot to learn about me."

Their eyes met for a moment and it dawned on Harry how big of a deal this was to Draco; as someone who was so used to hiding himself (or at least parts of himself) away from others, to talk so openly was not an easy thing for him to do. For him to announce that Harry had a lot to learn about him suggested that he wouldn't be opposed to this being a more regular thing. Knowing that Draco wouldn't want him to make a big deal out of it, Harry pressed on.

"He's musical, too. Don't tell me that's you as- ?"

"Astoria," Draco confirmed. "I certainly appreciate good music but I'm no musician. Astoria could play the piano. She could sing as well, although she was incredibly shy about it. I used to catch her sometimes, if she didn't know I was around, but rarely would she sing if she knew I was listening. I never understood why. She had a beautiful voice... delicate."

Another silence. However, it was Draco who broke this one.

"Being without her won't ever get any easier, but acceptance might come eventually. Scorpius on the other hand... I... I've tried, I really have. But most of the time I feel like he resents me. Almost everything bad in his life exists because of me. Because of what I did. Then he lost his mum and... let's just say, it would have been easier all round if it was me that he'd lost."

"Don't say that," Harry said immediately. "Your boy needs you, and quite clearly loves you very much. One hug. That was all it took. That one hug back in Godric's Hollow lit up his entire face."

Draco sighed. Harry was starting to sound a little like Astoria now.

"Don't sigh, Draco. You marched into my house and demanded that I see sense when I was keeping the boys apart. Not just for the sake of your son, but for the sake of Albus and possibly for mine, too. What you said, it made sense. I respectfully took your advice and I acted on it. Now it's _your_ turn. You're so clearly a great father. You're certainly better than me. But you say you struggle to reach Scorpius, that you're on different levels emotionally... what your boy needs is a little more affection from you. It's _so clear_ that he craves it, Draco. He wants you to hug him and tell him that everything is going to be ok. Lord knows, we certainly needed a bit of that back when we were his age. And I'm sorry, but just because your dad didn't give it to you, doesn't mean you can't give it to Scorpius. What was it you said to me - _don't lose the boy_. Straight out of the mandrake's mouth. Whatever issues you have with intimacy, I'm sure you have your reasons, but you need to bloody well snap out of it for Scorpius' sake and for your own, just like I had to snap out of my pigheadedness."

He had a point. Draco knew he had a point. Just like he'd known Astoria had a point. He thought about it for a moment.

"When you hugged back there, it wasn't just Scorpius' face that lit up, you know? It was yours, too."

Draco nodded slowly. "It was long overdue."

"So... just don't wait too long until the next one. There's nothing to feel awkward about. He's your flesh and blood. You've broken down enough of the Malfoy stereotypes. One more won't hurt."

Harry eyed Draco as if to say 'you know I've got a point'. Eventually, Draco cracked a small smile, though he didn't say anything. Harry stood up and stretched. Time had flown.

"Bathroom?" he asked. "Two glasses of that stuff is probably one too many for me."

* * *

Much to Draco's surprise, Harry didn't make to leave after he returned from the bathroom. Instead, Harry diverted the conversation to their schooldays, perfectly aware that he'd pressed Draco enough regarding his issues with Scorpius. The rest was up to him, now.

"I really was quite awful to you, wasn't I?" Draco said, as they reminisced on all the cruel ways Draco had taunted him, Ron and Hermione.

"Well, yes, but... it's ok. You were slightly amusing from time to time."

"Oh, of course. And my badge making skills? Second to none."

The two of them laughed.

"You were on my case from the off though, weren't you. In sixth year. I had a million obstacles standing in my way and you just had to make it a million and one. In hindsight, I guess that's a good thing but... my god, I hated you so much."

"I saw you up on the tower that night. I was there," Harry admitted, unsure of whether it was the right thing to do.

Draco's face dropped. "You were there?" he asked quietly. He hadn't known. This revelation was somewhat sobering.

Harry nodded. "I saw you lower your wand. You looked as frightened as I felt."

Draco's nostrils flared, and he blinked slowly several times, looking down at the floor.

"To a sixteen year old boy, it couldn't really have got much worse than it got for me that year. He threatened to kill me _and_ my parents. I was terrified. I - I didn't know what to do, I really didn't.'

"You were backed into a corner, Draco. Not many kids would know what to make of that. Merlin, if I think of someone putting my kids through what he put you through... You might have been a bully, but you were no murderer."

Silence.

"It fucked you up pretty badly, didn't it - the war?" As time passed, Harry was feeling a lot more comfortable broaching what were once unapproachable topics where Draco was concerned.

"It did most, didn't it? I'm still ashamed. My intentions may not have been the worst, but I'm still ashamed. Even afterwards I just... I didn't know how to cope. From the Battle, right through to when Astoria and I became as we were... I really was the biggest fuck up in every way imaginable."

Harry scoffed, reaching for the bottle and pouring he and Draco a third and final glass. "I'm sure you weren't that bad..." He was trying to be kind. He'd read the stories. Seen the photographs.

Draco gave a short laugh. "Don't make out like you didn't see me splashed across the Prophet's gossip pages weekly. I don't need wrapping up in cotton wool, Harry."

Harry shrugged. "Well, maybe a line or two but - "

"It was never as bad as they made it seem." Draco suddenly felt the need to defend himself. He picked up his drink and drank from it a little too eagerly, almost finishing it in one. "They always made me seem like such a womaniser. I hated that more than anything. That's not who I am."

"Draco, seriously," Harry said, feeling a little uncomfortable. "You don't have to explain yourself. People deal with pain in different ways."

"I have to tell _someone_ ," Draco said, his voice rising an octave. "And Merlin help me, I haven't got anyone else to tell! You know something, most of the time, I was just making sure those girls got home safely. How ironic is that? As if what I'd done wasn't bad enough, the papers were just desperate for more ways to vilify me. It was personal and still is. And it is something I've lived with for more than twenty years." He paused. "I am so tired," he said, looking up at Harry. Their eyes met. "I really am. So tired."

"I know the feeling," Harry mumbled.

"You don't though, do you? You're everyone's hero. As far as the world's concerned, the sun shines out of your backside. I know I made mistakes. I know I did bad things. But the things they've written about me - Salazar, my _sperm_ has been the talk of the wizarding world! Those ridiculous rumours. Those disgusting rumours." Draco was practically spitting the words out. "I hid them from Astoria, you know? We never got the Prophet. Her dad eventually showed me what they were writing. Astoria was really upset that I hadn't told her but... Merlin, how could I? She was so sick after having Scorpius. I was scared the shock would make it worse."

Harry shook is head in disbelief. As if Draco and Astoria hadn't been going through enough. Suddenly it all made sense, why Draco had been to desperate to put an end to those rumours.

"I'm sorry," Harry said. "I'm sorry I didn't help you sooner."

Draco shrugged it off. "You weren't to know."

"I did though, didn't I? You came to me and you told me Astoria was ill. I was too wrapped up in my own problems to think that it was that serious. If I'd realised, honestly..."

"It caused a lot of pain but we got through it. Together, we could get through anything. It's just the way we were. To this day, I can't tell you why she was interested in me. She was far too good for me."

"How did you meet?" Harry was genuinely interested.

"A party. I was sat alone, she brought me a drink. Even with all the shit that got printed about me, I was never short of attention. I was suspicious at first. But we talked... I relaxed. After the first night, I think I knew..." Draco's face become flushed and he finished his last mouthful of mead. "Well, I just knew she was different."

"The papers... I remember they pretty much left you alone after the two of you became official."

"I believe so. We got photographed a few times but they realised we weren't anything out of the ordinary. That was until just after Scorpius was born, I think. Then they decided we were a family of freaks."

"Well, it's over now. Hopefully, at the very least, you and Scorpius can be left to grieve in peace."

Draco nodded. Harry checked his watch. It was just gone midnight. "Merlin, is that the time? I'd better be off."

"Of course," Draco said, standing as Harry did.

The two men stood awkwardly for a moment, not knowing how best to leave things. "Well, thanks for having me over," Harry offered.

"And thank you. Really. It's... been good to talk about her. I don't usually have the chance. It helps."

"I'm glad," Harry said, extending a hand. Draco eyed it for the briefest of moments before bringing his hand up to shake Harry's. "Just remember," Harry went on. "What you've been through is probably the most distressing thing anyone can experience. Losing a child would be difficult, but you'd have your partner to support you through. Losing your wife... and having to put your child first while you grieve... That takes a lot of strength, Draco. For what it's worth, I think you're doing a damn good job."

"Thank you." Draco didn't know what else to say.

Harry nodded, making his way over to the fireplace. Best not to apparate after three glasses of mead. "We should... do this again some time," he risked suggesting, remembering Draco's 'you have a lot to learn about me'.

"Careful, Potter. You almost sound like you want us to be friends," Draco joked.

"Stranger things have happened, Malfoy. Stranger things have happened."

* * *

 **Author's notes:** _Wow, here's a chapter I certainly wasn't expecting to write. I've never been a fan of pairing Draco and Harry up, as friends or otherwise - I've always felt that Draco resented Harry far too much for a friendships between them to be realistic. When I heard that they became 'friends' in the Cursed Child, I rolled my eyes, annoyed by how cheesy it was. (Seeing it on stage was much more subtle than is scripted in the book). However, Draco speaks a lot about loneliness in Cursed Child - for a fan, it's the most heartbreaking aspect of the story. If they must have taken Astoria away from him, the least they could do was give him a friend; if that friend had to be Harry, then so be it - I'd much rather that than he be alone. Considering it isn't what I'd choose myself, I found this chapter so easy to write. I decided to have Draco opening up further to Harry, carrying on what was started in the Cursed Child script. Draco's honesty is something I love about his character, and I found it heart warming that he opened himself up to Harry and Ginny for the sake of his son in CC canon. This chapter is more about him opening up for his own good - essentially, to prevent himself from falling apart any more than he already has. I hope you enjoyed the chapter - let me know your thoughts!_


	26. Chapter 26

Trusting that Scorpius would be rather more settled at Hogwarts now the true identity of Voldemort's child had been revealed, Draco decided to stop bringing him home for weekends. It wasn't that he didn't want his son around, but rather that he didn't want to take him away from the place where he was truly happy for his own selfish reasons. They wrote to each other regularly, and that would have to be enough to see Draco through until the Christmas holidays.

Although Astoria had been gone for over a year now, Draco still wasn't used to occupying such a huge house on his own. It was lonely, and incredibly difficult from time to time, but it was the way things were and he went about dealing with them in his own way - keeping himself busy with research in the daytime, and drinking more than he ought to every night before bed.

Fifteen months after her passing, Draco still hadn't found the courage to sort through Astoria's things, which lay around the house as though she were simply on holiday. The house was empty enough without her presence, he couldn't bear to have her things missing, too.

In late November, an owl arrived. This time, he knew immediately that the sender was Ginny. He also knew full well that it would be an invite for Scorpius to visit the Potters over Christmas - an offer which, once again, Draco was going to have to decline. He spent far too many weeks shut away by himself; he had no intention of doing the same during what little time he was able to spend with his son.

He was right - it was a Christmas invite. However, this time, he'd been invited to join them too. Upon reading the letter he frowned, raking his fingers through his hair. While he still had no intention of accepting, he was surprised by the gesture, and not in an entirely unpleasant way. Nevertheless, he planned to take Scorpius to visit Astoria's grave over the Christmas break, and wanted them to spend the festive period together in an attempt to patch up everything that was broken between them.

Draco took a quill and penned a polite reply to the Potters, before sending it back with their owl.

* * *

Several weeks later, Scorpius and Draco arrived home from King's Cross station to spend their second Christmas alone. Scorpius was sulking like a typical teenager, and Draco was too tired to push him for an explanation. Eventually, over dinner, Scorpius decided to confront his problem.

"Dad... I thought you were getting on ok with the Potters now... since everything that happened in Godric's Hollow..."

Draco looked up from his plate and across the table. "Yes, we're getting along ok," he said slowly.

"I just thought... maybe you'd let me stay with them for a few days this Christmas. Not Christmas day or anything, obviously," he added hastily. "I don't want you to be here on your own but..."

"Scorpius," Draco sighed. "Listen to me." He put down his knife and fork. "Christmas was a very special time for your mother and I. Did you know that we found out we were having you just a couple of weeks before Christmas?"

Scorpius shook his head slowly. "I didn't."

"Well, we did. And ever since then, we always worked really hard to try and make Christmas special. I'd like us - you and me - to spend some time together. Properly. You never know, we may be able to enjoy each other's company... for a few days perhaps?"

Draco smiled. Scorpius faltered for a moment before smiling back.

"So you see, I'm not doing this to be a hindrance or to keep you away from your friend. I'm doing this because things need to be put right between us. For your sake _and_ for mine... And for your mum's."

"Ok, dad," Scorpius said, his tone a little more cheerful now that he understood.

* * *

It was late on Christmas Eve afternoon when Draco and Scorpius braced the cold winds to head out and visit Astoria's grave. Taking the biggest, most beautiful bunch of flowers they could find, they walked into the sharp wind with their heads bowed, scarves wrapped tightly around them.

"Hi mum," Scorpius said, as they reached her headstone. He sat himself down on the edge of her grave and looked up, wincing against the cold.

Draco hung back for a moment; he was able to visit Astoria regularly, and so decided to give Scorpius a moment. He watched as Scorpius chatted for a minute or two, as though Astoria could hear him. He smiled sadly to himself. It wasn't long before Scorpius looked around for his father.

"Why are you standing there?" he asked.

Draco shrugged, one hand in his pocket, the other clutching the flowers. "I thought you'd like a moment."

"I've had it now. Thank you." Scorpius beckoned Draco over.

Draco joined his son at Astoria's grave, laying the flowers down gently and sitting himself down next to Scorpius. He looked at her headstone, his eyes lingering on the words etched into the polished granite.

 _Astoria Malfoy_

 _April 12th 1982 to August 27th 2019_

 _Beloved wife of Draco and mother to Scorpius._

 _Our light in the darkness: then, now, always._

Draco gathered his thoughts for a moment before looking away slowly, tears stinging in his eyes and not only because of the bitter cold wind.

"I hate to think of her under there, don't you?" Scorpius asked suddenly. "I mean, I like that I have somewhere I can come and sit with her. But it makes me sad to think that she's lying underneath the ground."

Draco closed his eyes tightly. Scorpius still had a habit of speaking his mind, as he had done as a small child. Sometimes his thoughts were difficult to digest.

"I try... not to think of it like that," Draco said slowly. "Because that is far too painful." He looked up and held Scorpius' eye. "I prefer to think that she's in here." He pointed to his heart. "And in here." His lay a finger on his son's chest. "It makes it a little more... bearable. You should try thinking of it that way."

Scorpius smiled sadly. "I like that," he whispered.

Draco gave a small nod. "Let's stick with that then, shall we?"

The two of them spent fifteen more minutes sitting with Astoria, speaking very little. Although they were both incredibly sad, they were both fighting to remember all the happy memories they had - it was those that they needed to hang on to.

"Happy Christmas, mum," Scorpius said quietly as the two of them stood to leave. Draco gave Scorpius' shoulder a quick squeeze, before looking down at Astoria's grave one final time.

"I miss you... so much," he whispered. He blinked back his tears before turning away, taking Scorpius by the arm and apparating them both back to the warmth and comfort of the Manor.

* * *

That night, Draco headed up to bed around ten, wishing his son goodnight and making his way slowly up the stairs. Long gone were the days when his little boy needed putting to bed; Scorpius had spent the last few nights reading into the small hours of the morning, staying up long after his father had retired to his room. Tonight was different though. Tonight, Scorpius had other ideas.

He did read of course, for a little over an hour, before checking the time and heading quietly up the stairs. In the corridor, he hesitated for several moments before knocking quietly on his father's bedroom door.

"Scorpius?" came Draco's voice.

Scorpius pushed the door halfway open, leaning against the doorframe. The light from the corridor allowed Draco's eyes to linger on his son's shadowy face. The two looked at each other for a moment.

"Remember when... I'd have bad dreams when I was little... you'd let me sleep with you and mum in your big bed?" Scorpius' voice was anxious. Small. Smaller than he'd meant it to sound.

"Of course I remember," Draco said softly. There was a long pause before he went on. "Come and lie here with me for a while."

Another long pause. "Rea-really?" Scorpius asked, surprised.

"Yes. Come on," Draco said encouragingly, moving across to one side of the bed so his son could take the other.

Slowly Scorpius went in, closed the door behind him, and padded bare foot across the carpet before sitting down on the bed as he had done beside his mother when she was sick.

"I don't bite, Scorpius" Draco pointed out, noticing that Scorpius seemed far from relaxed. Scorpius smiled in the darkness before settling himself in bed beside Draco. He was incredibly pleased with the invite to spend quality time together in this way. Maybe now they could talk. About everything.

Both lay poker straight for a while, staring up at the ceiling. After a minute, Scorpius turned to look at his dad. He could just make out his long, blonde hair, which Draco had let loose, and what he believed to be a grey t-shirt.

"So, how's school?" Draco asked. "And I want the truth."

"It's ok now, it really is. Everyone just leaves me alone, which is all I wanted really. I haven't done any more disappearing acts, so you should know that it's going ok." Scorpius chuckled nervously.

"You make a valid point."

"Albus - " Scorpius paused, not knowing whether to say anything. "He... thinks you're _cool_ , by the way." He struggled to suppress a laugh.

Draco smirked. "Well... that's a well-known fact."

Scorpius snorted with laughter.

"A fact you seem to find amusing," Draco added slowly.

Scorpius giggled. "Well, it is rather funny."

After a moment's thought, Draco said: "He's good for you. Albus. He's a good friend."

"I know," Scorpius replied fondly, smiling to himself.

"I know I keep denying you from spending time there. With him. But if you... he can stay with us for a while next summer, if you'd like."

Scorpius grinned, though his father couldn't see. "I'd like that. Thank you."

After a short, comfortable silence, the topic of conversation turned - inevitably - to Astoria.

"Scorpius," Draco said, his voice taking a serious tone. "I feel there are some things I need to address... some things I need to apologise for."

Scorpius waited for his dad to go on.

"I could have been better - I could have been a much better father to you since we lost mum. You and I know that I'm not very good with... _feelings_... and I know that, after everything we've been through, feelings are perhaps the most important thing there is in a situation like ours. How I felt - how I still feel about losing your mum... I think it may have prevented me from helping you through this as well as I could have. I haven't found it easy, and I haven't always put your feelings above my battle with my own. For this, I am deeply sorry. You're young... despite everything you've been through, you're still unaccustomed to what a horrible world this can be. I should have done more for you."

"Dad," Scorpius whispered, surprised by the openness of Draco's apology. "It's ok. It's fine. I understand. Mum was your soulmate. She was everything to you. And we don't choose the way grief affects us."

"We don't," Draco agreed. "But as a parent, I should have been able to put my grief aside to help you through yours."

"I wouldn't ask that of you," Scorpius said instantly. "I wouldn't expect that of you. Dad, you _collapsed_ at her funeral. It couldn't have been more apparent that your world had fallen apart. Just because you have me doesn't mean you can just switch that off."

Draco sighed heavily. He felt undeserving of his son's understanding. If anything, his understanding made him feel like even more of a failure.

"Anyhow," Scorpius went on. "You tried. You tried getting me to talk... to open up to you. But I wouldn't let you in. That wasn't your fault. That was mine."

"The offer still stands," Draco said, his voice much softer than usual. "We don't talk about her enough."

"I miss her," Scorpius admitted almost straight away. "I miss her so much that she's the first thing on my mind when I wake up, and the last before I go to sleep. Sometimes, I dream about her and I wake up and... for those first few seconds that I'm awake, I think she's still here. And then everything comes flooding back and it's like... it feels like I'm losing her over and over again."

Draco closed his eyes for a moment. No matter how hard this was, it had to be done. Scorpius sniffed and Draco knew straight away that he was crying.

"I feel the same," Draco admitted in a whisper, a single tear leaving the corner of his eye and sliding down his cheek. "Sometimes, I wake up and I think she's here with me and... then I remember. Those few seconds where I don't remember are probably the easiest part of my day."

"Do you think it will ever get better?" Scorpius asked desperately. He really wanted his dad to have the answers.

Draco sensed that Scorpius needed some kind of reassurance. "I don't think it will ever truly leave us. But I'm sure it will get easier over time. I think the best thing for us would be acceptance. But your mum was so young and so undeserving... so even acceptance won't come easily. But it may come - eventually."

"I hope so," Scorpius said. "Because I don't want to feel this sad and this angry for the rest of my life."

"She'd be so proud of you, you know?" Draco said. " _I'm_ proud of you."

Scorpius turned to face Draco. Feeling eyes on him, Draco turned to look back at his son.

"You are?" Scorpius said, after a few moments spent trying to read each other's faces in the darkness.

"Yes. I don't know why that comes as such a big surprise."

"Hmm," Scorpius said in mock confusion. "Maybe because I don't fly. I'm not popular. I may have been sorted into Slytherin, but I'm hardly their model student... I'm shy and awkward..."

"Scorpius," Draco cut across him. "For Merlin's sake, none of those things matter to me. None of them. You're strong-willed, intelligent, kind, forgiving... and you're brave. Far braver than I ever was at your age. I'd say sixteen year old me could have learnt a thing or two from fourteen year old you, wouldn't you say?"

Scorpius gave a small, nervous laugh. "Perhaps he could have," he admitted shyly.

"I've told you before and I'll tell you again, Scorp, all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy and to be yourself. I don't want you to have to live up to someone's expectations like I had to. I'm just sorry that I can't be mum... just your grumpy, old dad."

"Sometimes, I don't know what I would do without my grumpy, old dad," Scorpius reassured his father.

Draco gave a short laugh in disbelief. "I was so scared, you know, Scorp? Scared for me and your mum to have you... because I knew it would this way. I was never the ideal father material. I'm not going to lie to you son, sometimes I feel so ridiculously out my my depth. You deserve the very best, and instead you have me... with your mum it was so much easier. She was like a pillar to me and... she was the perfect parent... made you feel loved, made you feel safe..."

" _You_ made me feel safe," Scorpius said fiercely. "You always did. You still do." Their eyes met. "You need to stop feeling like you're not good enough for me, dad, because you are. You defied your father to make me the person I am today. The person you're proud of. And how about the compassion you taught me. I watched you care for mum when she couldn't look after herself. No one else could teach me such a valuable lesson in that way. What people say about you - they're wrong. What you feel... that you're not good enough... you couldn't be further from the truth. You're the best dad I could have. I'm just sorry it took me so long to realise it."

There was a long pause. "Scorpius," Draco said, his voice hoarse. He was touched by his son's words - he honestly didn't know what to say. "Come here." He held an arm out and Scorpius didn't hesitate for one moment; he moved in for a hug with absolutely no feeling of awkwardness what so ever. Draco wrapped an arm around his son and kissed the top of his head lovingly. "I just miss her, so much..." Draco whispered.

Scorpius realised, with a great shock, that his dad was crying. He could tell by the fragility in his voice and the shortness of his breath. He held onto him tightly, not knowing what else to do to comfort him.

"What you said about me trying not to cry," Draco said quietly. "I did cry. A lot. Some nights, I would lie here and cry until I fell asleep. Other times, in the shower, where the water almost made it feel as though the tears weren't there. The smallest thing would set me off. It still can. I don't want you to think that I don't cry for your mum, Scorpius, because I do. Believe me, I do."

As Draco began to cry harder, Scorpius began to cry too, his face buried into his father's chest. "I just want her back, dad. I want it to be the three of us again." He sobbed loudly, and Draco held him tightly. Unbelievably, this was the first time they'd openly cried together over their loss. As sad as it was, it was also a huge step in the right direction.

After several minutes, Draco pulled himself together for the sake of his son, who lay crying in his arms. "Ssh," he whispered comfortingly. "It's ok. I've got you." He ran his fingers through Scorpius' hair lovingly in an attempt to calm him down. Much to his surprise, it worked. Scorpius took several deep, shaky breaths, and managed to stop himself crying.

Within ten minutes, the two of them were talking about all the happy memories they held. Draco spoke of when he and Astoria first met, of their wedding day, of the day Scorpius was born. He'd never shared such intimate memories with his son before, and it was as clear as day how much Scorpius loved listening and learning more about him mum.

Some time later, they embraced each other once more. "I don't tell you often enough how much I love you," Draco said quietly, Scorpius' head tucked under his chin.

Scorpius could feel the scratchiness of his dad's beard but he didn't mind one bit. "I love you too, dad" he said. He felt so jubilant at receiving another hug from his dad that he couldn't stop himself from smiling. Draco's hugs were strong and protective and he loved them just as much as he'd loved Astoria's.

When they broke apart Draco leaned across and checked the time on his watch, which was lying on the bedside cabinet.

"Is it late?" Scorpius asked.

"Far too late," Draco said. "Happy Christmas, son," he added in a whisper.

"Happy Christmas, dad." They both smiled.

After so many years of struggling to understand each other, everything finally began to settle into place in the early hours of December 25th 2020. No matter how big of a hole Astoria had left in their lives, Draco and Scorpius had each other and, at that moment, neither could have been more grateful. They were going to be ok.

* * *

 **Author's notes:** _So, there we have it... the final chapter! When I started out writing this fic, I always knew this was the way I wanted it to end - with Draco and Scorp finally beginning to understand each other and accept one another, faults and all. As you probably know by now, I really do love this character. His story has been so fun to write, and I think I'm as close to achieving my initial purpose as I ever will be. No matter how much I (and I'm sure other Draco fans) hated the Cursed Child for taking Astoria away, we still have it to thank for Draco's redemption, and for evidence that he grew to become a wonderful father, despite his faults. I should also mention Alex, Anthony, Jamie and Sam, whose performances really helped me give voices to the characters in this story. Finally, **thank you so much** for reading - I can't believe I've been writing this for 10 months now. Please do leave reviews for my final chapter, I'm really interested to hear what you have to say, and how you imagined things ended for Draco and Scorpius._


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